touch deprivation is an actual thing in medical terms?
It happens when you don’t get as much physical touch as you’re used to, or any at all. You crave contact but it’s totally different than sexual desire.
I didn’t know it was a thing until someone pointed it out to me recently.
Are you touch deprived and what do you think it’s the best way of dealing with it?
I know I am and I would like to hear from you.
We need Snuggle Sunday thread obviously too  |
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"touch deprivation is an actual thing in medical terms?
It happens when you don’t get as much physical touch as you’re used to, or any at all. You crave contact but it’s totally different than sexual desire.
I didn’t know it was a thing until someone pointed it out to me recently.
Are you touch deprived and what do you think it’s the best way of dealing with it?
I know I am and I would like to hear from you.
We need Snuggle Sunday thread obviously too "
I'll make sure I don't deprive you of touch  |
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When I'm not feeling socially capable of dealing with other humans, I am very aware of touch deprivation.
I have my mutts for fluffy cuddles to take the edge off, but there's a massive difference between that and just a hug from another actual person. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Yes I'd say I definitely am being single for most of my adult life and not really meeting people often.
I'm not sure there are side effects as such, but I think I have come to appreciate that while sex is great I also love the intimacy of just being able to cuddle up to someone (clothing optional)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I am very much so. I'm am extremely tactile person and I like physical touch a lot. Someone stroking my hair, a hug, a simple kiss or just an arm stroke or butt slap haha.
I don't really have many ways of dealing with it. |
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Yes, it’s real. Even worse than experiencing it, is being told by someone who should care that it’s nonsense.
There are different degrees of it - some need a lot, others hardly at all. Don’t assume that everyone is the same as you though. |
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"
I'll make sure I don't deprive you of touch
Your volunteering to help is much appreciated, for the health reasons, obvious "
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it 
I love touching and being touched  |
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I actually did know this. I used to be involved with a charity that dealt with sexual needs of differently abled people. One of the guys told me that he'd been abandoned as a baby and had been fostered then lived on his own with carers supporting him. He didn't know, until he had a sexual experience that "women were warm" (his words)
He was 26 when that happened  |
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I actually did know this. I used to be involved with a charity that dealt with sexual needs of differently abled people. One of the guys told me that he'd been abandoned as a baby and had been fostered then lived on his own with carers supporting him. He didn't know, until he had a sexual experience that "women were warm" (his words)
He was 26 when that happened |
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"
I'm not sure there are side effects as such, but I think I have come to appreciate that while sex is great I also love the intimacy of just being able to cuddle up to someone (clothing optional) "
This bit is pretty much exactly my thoughts, just worded better than I would do it |
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"When I'm not feeling socially capable of dealing with other humans, I am very aware of touch deprivation.
I have my mutts for fluffy cuddles to take the edge off, but there's a massive difference between that and just a hug from another actual person."
Exactly this. |
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"I actually did know this. I used to be involved with a charity that dealt with sexual needs of differently abled people. One of the guys told me that he'd been abandoned as a baby and had been fostered then lived on his own with carers supporting him. He didn't know, until he had a sexual experience that "women were warm" (his words)
He was 26 when that happened "
That's dreadfully sad. |
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"I think it's one of the reasons that people who live in relationships that are no longer sexual are so unhappy.
"
This was absolutely my experience. I think I could have stayed - not exactly happy, but surviving - without sex, but I couldn't cope with the endless rejection of total physical avoidance for year after year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually did know this. I used to be involved with a charity that dealt with sexual needs of differently abled people. One of the guys told me that he'd been abandoned as a baby and had been fostered then lived on his own with carers supporting him. He didn't know, until he had a sexual experience that "women were warm" (his words)
He was 26 when that happened "
That is so sad  |
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"I think it's one of the reasons that people who live in relationships that are no longer sexual are so unhappy.
This was absolutely my experience. I think I could have stayed - not exactly happy, but surviving - without sex, but I couldn't cope with the endless rejection of total physical avoidance for year after year. "
There's something deeply intimate and bonding about physical contact with a loved one. From a simple touch of the hand to laying in bed in each others arms talking. |
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"Yes I'd say I definitely am being single for most of my adult life and not really meeting people often.
I'm not sure there are side effects as such, but I think I have come to appreciate that while sex is great I also love the intimacy of just being able to cuddle up to someone (clothing optional) "
That’s also my take on it. I am now aware there are actually side effects as stress, depression or anxiety. It’s unbelievable how a single cuddle session (clothing optional) can be beneficial for our health. |
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"I think it's one of the reasons that people who live in relationships that are no longer sexual are so unhappy.
This was absolutely my experience. I think I could have stayed - not exactly happy, but surviving - without sex, but I couldn't cope with the endless rejection of total physical avoidance for year after year.
There's something deeply intimate and bonding about physical contact with a loved one. From a simple touch of the hand to laying in bed in each others arms talking. "
Exactly. And for tactile people like me, instinctive. Every day, the hand reaches out, the lips look for a kiss to the back of the neck, and you can sense the revulsion, and it feels a rejection of your whole soul. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s actually really sad to hear the struggles some people go through over something as simple as human touch. I’d like to think we’d give out the hugs to anyone who needed it and was in a dark place simply due to no human touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I am very much so. I'm am extremely tactile person and I like physical touch a lot. Someone stroking my hair, a hug, a simple kiss or just an arm stroke or butt slap haha.
I don't really have many ways of dealing with it. "
I completley agree, the whole act of physicality adds so much to a situation or relationship and not just on a sexual side |
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"Yep very well aware of this and one of the reasons men who are touch deprived tend to have working girl addiction.
"
God, no, for me that would make it so much worse. Having to pay another human being to touch me? Compensating them for the horror of making physical conract? |
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I used to be a lot more aware of it than I am these days.
I think that the months spent trying to convince the ex that it was over and he needed to leave my house while every morning he'd try to pretend everything was okay and insist on a hug kind of killed it for me. That kind of aversion therapy means the times now when I haven't been able to see my partners for a while I can appreciate that no human contact is still infinitely better than absolutely unwanted human contact. |
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"I actually did know this. I used to be involved with a charity that dealt with sexual needs of differently abled people. One of the guys told me that he'd been abandoned as a baby and had been fostered then lived on his own with carers supporting him. He didn't know, until he had a sexual experience that "women were warm" (his words)
He was 26 when that happened "
This hurts my heart |
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By *ash0000Man
over a year ago
Southwest |
"Yes I'd say I definitely am being single for most of my adult life and not really meeting people often.
I'm not sure there are side effects as such, but I think I have come to appreciate that while sex is great I also love the intimacy of just being able to cuddle up to someone (clothing optional)
That’s also my take on it. I am now aware there are actually side effects as stress, depression or anxiety. It’s unbelievable how a single cuddle session (clothing optional) can be beneficial for our health."
Agree. Even just a greeting cuddle does wonders. So miss it. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"I think it's one of the reasons that people who live in relationships that are no longer sexual are so unhappy.
"
There can still be affectionate touching, albeit non-sexual. That is what I have in my relationship. I still get lots of cuddles, hair stroking (my favourite), arm caressing, etc…
But yes, many people don’t even have that. I had a FWB who used to be so hungry for affectionate, physical touch. Never mind the sex, that was secondary. For him just touching was bliss… I ised to feel so sorry for him. But he is still there. And I am still here. Lol.   |
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"Oh hell yeah it's absence had me in tears everyday for months.
I’m sorry. How did you deal with it? "
My friend used to come around and hold me, stroke my hair. Cry with me. Got by on that till the grief passed. |
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"Yep very well aware of this and one of the reasons men who are touch deprived tend to have working girl addiction.
"
They're sex workers.
It's very much a thing, I'm very tactile, always happy to give or recieve a hug, some days that just makes everything better. |
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We touch each other constantly - a stroke of a hand across bodies, a kiss, a hug.
We haven’t been together for about 4 days and other than the obvious sexual tension, I’m missing just stroking her face, running my fingers through her hair, the slight touches…
So it’s definitely a thing…
K |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"Yes I'd say I definitely am being single for most of my adult life and not really meeting people often.
I'm not sure there are side effects as such, but I think I have come to appreciate that while sex is great I also love the intimacy of just being able to cuddle up to someone (clothing optional)
That’s also my take on it. I am now aware there are actually side effects as stress, depression or anxiety. It’s unbelievable how a single cuddle session (clothing optional) can be beneficial for our health."
I agree and I am lucky that I have a couple of close friends who I could get a hug from no problem which helps. But it's definitely not the same as having someone just hold you, not saying anything, not trying it on, just letting you be, feeling everything melt away. That would be lovely right now |
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This thread has made me sad.
Anyone who knows me will say I’m not a romantic or particularly soft person. I don’t do grand gestures or proclamations & I’m quite matter of fact…
But …. My love language is touch. My non verbal communication is touch. I understand just how primal and basic physical contact.
I always (within reason) touch people that I’m engaging with. And those that I truly, deeply care for know the differences in my touch.
On a day to day basis it’s an arm or hand whilst I’m talking with them (part of my work).
With a loved one - it’s instinctive and constant - hands just reach out almost blindly searching for their counterpart. It’s like your limbs are sentient and need the touch of their soul mate as much as your heart & mind do.
I say it on the forums as a joke that I’m always available for squishy hugs, but I actually do mean it. If someone needs that comfort & warmth, it’s my pleasure to provide that. |
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There’s touch and then there’s *touch*.
I touch my friends, my co-workers, people I’m talking with … a handshake, a hand on the shoulder, a hug when saying hello.
But then there’s touching with intent. Looking into a partner’s eyes and holding their hand. A hug that means more, that you hold for longer. One girl on here made me melt, completely, just by stroking my finger. |
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"This thread has made me sad.
Anyone who knows me will say I’m not a romantic or particularly soft person. I don’t do grand gestures or proclamations & I’m quite matter of fact…
But …. My love language is touch. My non verbal communication is touch. I understand just how primal and basic physical contact.
I always (within reason) touch people that I’m engaging with. And those that I truly, deeply care for know the differences in my touch.
On a day to day basis it’s an arm or hand whilst I’m talking with them (part of my work).
With a loved one - it’s instinctive and constant - hands just reach out almost blindly searching for their counterpart. It’s like your limbs are sentient and need the touch of their soul mate as much as your heart & mind do.
I say it on the forums as a joke that I’m always available for squishy hugs, but I actually do mean it. If someone needs that comfort & warmth, it’s my pleasure to provide that."
Every single word of this rings true, but the idea that limbs are sentient and seek their soulmate made my heart reverberate like a tenor bell in a high tower. |
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