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Taskmaster: The Fab Edition...
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"Hello Julie of JulieAndBeef, this week we've asked the forumites to bring in something that you are to many people, and that's the most satisfying thing. We'll rate all the satisfying things from 1-5 points and the best one at the end of the thread goes home with all of the satisfying things. It must be good though, the Taskmaster doesn't like it when you defy to satisfy. That, you cannot deny... but you can buy... " And that's enough of that. Show me what you've got Fabbers. Full descriptions please and you are likely to gain favour with the Taskmaster with a photo and shameless flattery... (Thanks to Davina for the inspiration  ) | |||
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"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else " And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... | |||
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I will have a think.
It's Likkle JoeBeans!  | |||
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Oh you two. | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. " A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. | |||
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"I bring a cuppa and biscuits on demand - there can be nothing more satisfying" Nothing? I feel we have an early contender for 1 point unless you have more for me... | |||
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"Love this J&B. I will have a think.
It's Likkle JoeBeans! "Breaking character for a moment... I know! Too much fun! | |||
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"I bring a cuppa and biscuits on demand - there can be nothing more satisfying Nothing? I feel we have an early contender for 1 point unless you have more for me... " Nope - I'm content, there's nothing anywhere close to it so far | |||
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"What is this adorableness?
Oh you two. "Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got? | |||
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"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying "And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing... | |||
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"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... " Pretty self explanatory really taskmaster. They can be used for comforting and bribing people all at the same time  | |||
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"Soaking your minge in a hot bath after being banged more times than a ketchup bottle "This is the sort of thing the Taskmaster likes to hear. A strong start... | |||
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"Hi TM and LJB, I'm vintage, and and full of bouncy energy; I'm bringing you a ping-stick... it's very satisfying... boy-oooyng" Very good. Rather like twanging a doorstopper. Is it always boingy and ready to satisfy? | |||
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"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... " It's a strong start, my worry would be how quickly you lose the satisfaction after they've finished. | |||
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"Hello taskmaster. I bring… a very satisfying thing…. An entire role of bubble wrap! Can sit there for hours popping and be left satisfied. "Hours of satisfaction. And I am partial to squeezing things till they burst... | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. " Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….  | |||
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"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread] I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format). Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I? "*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster.  | |||
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"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... It's a strong start, my worry would be how quickly you lose the satisfaction after they've finished." Have you seen how many I have Alex? Um Joe | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality "Can you get negative points? | |||
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"My current most satisfying thing is getting multiple loads at the launderette finished in half an hour or less. I’m not sure I can shoot my load in here for the photo element but flip reverse the Levi’s ad and have supernanny jo frost instead of Nick Kamen and you’re there! " A satisfying mental image and that fresh laundry smell certainly takes you out of 1 point territory... | |||
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"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread] I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format). Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?
*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster. "Thanks your awesome wonderfulness.  | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality
Can you get negative points? "That's what I'm hoping for a bit like Mr Davis in qi | |||
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"Those introductions are amazing, well done!" The flattery aspect is appreciated but I'm not fully satisfied... | |||
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"My mouth. Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo. ….. I reckon it's a winner "She gets my vote….. | |||
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"10ft swimming pool for a 8ft garden. The mr " Two neglected feet. Like an old lady going to the chiropodist.  | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality
Can you get negative points?
That's what I'm hoping for
a bit like Mr Davis in qi "It's a strategy...  | |||
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"My satisfying thing is........ A tea of tea in the bath! Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied "Moderately satisfying but I want more... | |||
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"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order." I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration... | |||
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"My satisfying thing is........ A tea of tea in the bath! Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied
Moderately satisfying but I want more... "A pre or post bath and tea massage. Can be as vanilla or sexual as requested. All finished with a huge fluffy dressing gown. A satisfying relaxed evening | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?…. "Moved up in the points there! | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality "The Taskmaster is amenable to some clitbait. | |||
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"What is this adorableness?
Oh you two.
Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got? "Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in. Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me. Tweezers. Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there? Nah. | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality
Can you get negative points?
That's what I'm hoping for
a bit like Mr Davis in qi
It's a strategy... "It's the best I can do | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….
Moved up in the points there! "But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge | |||
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"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)! "I can't think of anything worse | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied" Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied" A nice way to cover all your bases, I'm not sure if the Taskmaster would agree but I prefer bedsheets when they're worn in a bit | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... " I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode  | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa." I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate | |||
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"My mouth. Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo. Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event. I reckon it's a winner "It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them! | |||
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"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order. I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration... " Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level . | |||
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"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread] I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format). Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?
*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster.
Thanks your awesome wonderfulness. "Very well done there Davina. Might be our first 5 pointer but I shall leave that to our Taskmaster | |||
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"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying" Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet...  | |||
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"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet... "It was a sample sheet. Why bring in a limitless supply when a taster will satisfy | |||
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"My current most satisfying thing is getting multiple loads at the launderette finished in half an hour or less. I’m not sure I can shoot my load in here for the photo element but flip reverse the Levi’s ad and have supernanny jo frost instead of Nick Kamen and you’re there! A satisfying mental image and that fresh laundry smell certainly takes you out of 1 point territory... " I’m hoping no one else wins cos I need my work uniform on Monday. | |||
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"Those introductions are amazing, well done! The flattery aspect is appreciated but I'm not fully satisfied... " Not going to lie, I was pretty satisfied, but that's why you're the Taskmaster  | |||
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"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet... "I've got over 15feet of the stuff | |||
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"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying
And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing... "Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it The sharp scratch & push as it’s done The few hours of throbbing afterwards The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings And buying pretty jewellery. | |||
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"My mouth. Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo. Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event. I reckon it's a winner
It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them!"That's what the sass and conversation are for. I know how much I hate anyone going on about how amazing they are at going down on women, and I don't want to be that unappealing asshole. Plus I think they way I adore learning a new woman's body and preferences and feeling every twitch and facial expression and reaction to my very core has a lot less to do with my actual mouth than my brain. So if they're not sold on my conversational skills, so be it. I'm usually a lot more interested in taking part than winning anyway | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate "What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others ( ) we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation. | |||
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"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "I'll just fangirl by association right here... I'll also wink at your dad bod. | |||
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"Some toast and a can of sweetened condensed milk. There is nothing as satisfying as hot toast with the sweetened condensed milk soaking in to it (unless of course you have a teaspoon and a can of sweetened condensed milk, then you will see me buzzing). "Even though I'll eat anything and have no taste, even I have a hard time imaging that being satisfying. What makes the soggy toast so good? | |||
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"My mouth. Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo. ….. I reckon it's a winner
She gets my vote….."It's a strong contender | |||
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"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise! "I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table? | |||
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"My satisfying thing is........ A tea of tea in the bath! Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied
Moderately satisfying but I want more...
A pre or post bath and tea massage. Can be as vanilla or sexual as requested.
All finished with a huge fluffy dressing gown.
A satisfying relaxed evening "It does feel like a lot of effort to be satisfied though. We need minimum effort for maximum satisfaction! But very satisfying nonetheless | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality
The Taskmaster is amenable to some clitbait. "That was not a typo by the Taskmaster either! | |||
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"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!
I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table? "Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands. | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate
What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation. "Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate. 
Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate? | |||
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"What is this adorableness?
Oh you two.
Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got?
Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in.
Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me.
Tweezers.
Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there?
Nah.
"I love how observational you are Meli, but I put it to you... Is the satisfaction of tweezing those hairs worth the pain they give you as well? | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate
What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.
Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.
Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate? "Oh, Meli….
Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.
On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!! | |||
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"Got some rhubarb. Maximum points if it turn it into a pie? (I have no idea what I’m doing )" I'll have to confer with the Taskmaster on this. Do we give points for the thing itself, or the potential for what that thing can be? | |||
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"I bring my smile? (i dont know?) "It's a beautiful smile. A genuine smile always satisfies. Especially if accompanied by cheese on toast!  | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate
What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.
Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.
Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?
Oh, Meli….
Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.
On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!! "Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death. | |||
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"What is this adorableness?
Oh you two.
Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got?
Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in.
Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me.
Tweezers.
Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there?
Nah.
I love how observational you are Meli, but I put it to you... Is the satisfaction of tweezing those hairs worth the pain they give you as well?"This is up there for me. I feel like I've lost a limb when I don't have my tweezers. I have nightmares about being in a coma and turning into a whiskered beast. | |||
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"Didn't find them but did find Pampers grass An extremely large tentacle & Some dirty Nike trainers. Mrs " Are we saying that all 3 are satisfying in their own right? If so, it's definitely 1 point. If together they are satisfying, then you'll have to explain | |||
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And the sound of your own sigh of contentment and joy concludes the satisfaction of your senses. | |||
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"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)! "We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points? | |||
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"Got some rhubarb. Maximum points if it turn it into a pie? (I have no idea what I’m doing ) I'll have to confer with the Taskmaster on this. Do we give points for the thing itself, or the potential for what that thing can be? " Can anticipation be satisfying? Or is it just a load of rhubarb? 1 point. Turn it into crumble and add custard (Not Grumpy's) and I might up the points. | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….
Moved up in the points there!
But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge "That's the kind of critique we're looking for from other contestants! | |||
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"Didn't find them but did find Pampers grass An extremely large tentacle & Some dirty Nike trainers. Mrs Are we saying that all 3 are satisfying in their own right? If so, it's definitely 1 point. If together they are satisfying, then you'll have to explain "I do believe this a reference to my Hot Pics Scavenger Hunt. It is a satisfying way to spend time and an appeal to my ego. Well played. | |||
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"I would like to offer a jar of Nutella, for it's multiple uses. The rffled edge of the lid is perfect if you have an itchy back. I can help find just the right spot. Nutella is tasty. Just eat it. That's satisfying too. Thirdly, if you offered me a portion of Nutella afterwards, I would do anything you wanted to satisfy you in anyway. 3 in 1 satisfaction" A very strong case, but the thought of the back-scratched lid going on top of the consumable Nutella might be less than satisfying | |||
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"The Taskmaster has chores to do. Boring to do, satisfying once completed. Little Joey Beans will judge harshly in my absence. " I hope I've done you justice Taskmaster and I won't be punished in the traditional way... | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode "If anything, that dedication would've got you more points | |||
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"The Taskmaster has chores to do. Boring to do, satisfying once completed. Little Joey Beans will judge harshly in my absence. I hope I've done you justice Taskmaster and I won't be punished in the traditional way..." But we both enjoy it so much. Well I do. And that's all that matters. | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode
If anything, that dedication would've got you more points "Then fuck it the TONGUE IT IS!! Mr Beans bring me a knife | |||
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"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!
We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points? "Of course. Especially if that means winning multiple positions (I do love multiple positions). Unless this means that one will be disregarded, in which case just judge the first, and I'll keep the afternoon trading insults with Jennie as my guilty pleasure. | |||
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"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order. I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration... Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level ." A very strong case, would we need verification of fingers being of such magic? | |||
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"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order. I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration... Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level ." The Taskmaster is sceptical but admires your confidence. | |||
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"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "Hope we're doing it justice! Just goes to show you never know who's reading the fora! | |||
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"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "It's an honour to have you here, good sir. You and everyone else who worked on the show has brought joy to at least hundreds of people! You should do an AMA on here | |||
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"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying
And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...
Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it
The sharp scratch & push as it’s done
The few hours of throbbing afterwards
The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings
And buying pretty jewellery."I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting... | |||
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"I bring my smile? (i dont know?) "It is a fantastic smile and one that's given me a bit of satisfaction right now. Although as the assistant, it's not worth as much | |||
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"So I feel like one of the 3 wise men... but I bring a smorgasbord (a point for a fancy word please) of cheese. Soft and creamy, rich and blue, tingling the taste buds and tantalising you. Dipping into my baked (autotext said naked...) camembert. Feeling that Lancashire melt on your tongue. My cheesiness will satisfy you." Cheese. A cunning appeal to the Taskmaster's tastes. Whether music, films or actual fromage, the Taskmaster is a fan of all things cheesy. | |||
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"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying
And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...
Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it
The sharp scratch & push as it’s done
The few hours of throbbing afterwards
The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings
And buying pretty jewellery.
I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting... "How about I being said piercings still attached to relevant body parts for closer judgement? | |||
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"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet...
I've got over 15feet of the stuff "That's how you do it! | |||
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"My mouth. Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo. Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event. I reckon it's a winner
It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them!
That's what the sass and conversation are for. I know how much I hate anyone going on about how amazing they are at going down on women, and I don't want to be that unappealing asshole. Plus I think they way I adore learning a new woman's body and preferences and feeling every twitch and facial expression and reaction to my very core has a lot less to do with my actual mouth than my brain.
So if they're not sold on my conversational skills, so be it. I'm usually a lot more interested in taking part than winning anyway "The Taskmaster is turned on. Let's see if you can convert that to satisfaction... | |||
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"Some toast and a can of sweetened condensed milk. There is nothing as satisfying as hot toast with the sweetened condensed milk soaking in to it (unless of course you have a teaspoon and a can of sweetened condensed milk, then you will see me buzzing).
Even though I'll eat anything and have no taste, even I have a hard time imaging that being satisfying. What makes the soggy toast so good?"Agreed  Harder sell please or I might not even reach 1 point. | |||
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"I bring my awesome fab personality
Can you get negative points?
That's what I'm hoping for
a bit like Mr Davis in qi
It's a strategy...
It's the best I can do "Reverse psychology. This one understands how the TM's mind works. | |||
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"I bring to you - the best night ever! Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning. Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right? "I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case. | |||
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"I bring to the table my trusty ryobi cordless impact driver with bits for the purposes of diy assembly around the house, a sharp pencil, a sturdy tape measure and my reading glasses so I can see what the fuck I’m looking at " I fail to see the satisfaction and await your justification with interest... | |||
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"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!
I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table?
Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands. "Hot! Damn! | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….
Moved up in the points there!
But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge "Pissing on someone’s garden doesn’t make your cream taste fresher!!
*I think that’s how that saying goes. | |||
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"Actually I'm retracting bubble wrap for a better option. Given that the Taskmaster's assistant is so easily swayed by woman offering body parts....I enter the following for his approval. Every female member of Fab!!" I suggest you remember that the assistant is under me... As that's where I like him
Satisfy us both please, but mainly me. | |||
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"I bring to you - the best night ever! Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning. Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right?
I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case. "She's appealed to my coffee drinking sensibilities Taskmaster, combined with the rest, it's a very strong case! | |||
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"Hello everyone, hello Taskmaster. Lovely to see you all. I bring in the most satisfying thing for all your senses. A plate of chocolate brownies decorated with the pictures of those who have previously won Taskmaster. First you get a whiff of that beautiful aroma, making you feel like you're back in your grandma's kitchen just as she lets you lick the bowl clean. Next you get to see those beauties. The satisfaction of seeing all the victorious and remembering their great achievements. Next the satisfaction of the sensual touch as you lift up a brownie and feel it's soft, gooey texture in your hand and are reminded of youthful dalliances round the back of Asda's bins. The taste is next. It's chocolate. There is no greater thing you can put in your mouth - unless it's after the watershed And the sound of your own sigh of contentment and joy concludes the satisfaction of your senses. "A most satisfying description. I am pleased. | |||
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"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!
I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table?
Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands.
Hot! Damn! "Ok, that has to be 5 points! My word | |||
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"Actually I'm retracting bubble wrap for a better option. Given that the Taskmaster's assistant is so easily swayed by woman offering body parts....I enter the following for his approval. Every female member of Fab!! I suggest you remember that the assistant is under me... As that's where I like him
Satisfy us both please, but mainly me. "I don't like the implication that my impartiality has been compromised | |||
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"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer. "But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first. | |||
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"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode
If anything, that dedication would've got you more points
Then fuck it the TONGUE IT IS!! Mr Beans bring me a knife"A detached tongue. Not the *most* satisfying. I suggest you stick with the bedding... | |||
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"So I feel like one of the 3 wise men... but I bring a smorgasbord (a point for a fancy word please) of cheese. Soft and creamy, rich and blue, tingling the taste buds and tantalising you. Dipping into my baked (autotext said naked...) camembert. Feeling that Lancashire melt on your tongue. My cheesiness will satisfy you. Cheese. A cunning appeal to the Taskmaster's tastes. Whether music, films or actual fromage, the Taskmaster is a fan of all things cheesy. " Always try to appeal with my cunning lingo.... I will offer full access to my cheesy emporium and Abba's greatest its will schmooze you... | |||
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"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!
We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points?
Of course. Especially if that means winning multiple positions (I do love multiple positions). Unless this means that one will be disregarded, in which case just judge the first, and I'll keep the afternoon trading insults with Jennie as my guilty pleasure.
"I like both of your offerings too much to disregard either. Both shall be judged. | |||
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"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying
And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...
Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it
The sharp scratch & push as it’s done
The few hours of throbbing afterwards
The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings
And buying pretty jewellery.
I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting...
How about I being said piercings still attached to relevant body parts for closer judgement?"Rather like a human fidget toy. Fairly satisfying. | |||
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"I will be arriving in Vienna in around 30 mins and (after showering ofc) will offer myself as a naked human table covered in the most delectable Viennese cakes and pastries " 5 points. It will take a lot to beat this. | |||
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"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….
Moved up in the points there!
But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge
Pissing on someone’s garden doesn’t make your cream taste fresher!!
*I think that’s how that saying goes. "Keep going both of you. This sort of bickering does satisfy the TM | |||
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"I bring to you - the best night ever! Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning. Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right?
I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case.
She's appealed to my coffee drinking sensibilities Taskmaster, combined with the rest, it's a very strong case!"We're high up in the points, I agree. Undoubtedly satisfying. | |||
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"Anyone fancy a beer while we wait to see who comes second after me? "
I think you'll find... | |||
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"I bring myself wrapped in not much other than a cheeky smirk and a silky robe. On one side of me there is a bottle of Moët chilling in an ice bucket accompanied by a platter of free strawberries. On the other side is a delightful hot chocolate, fresh cream on top with some mouthwatering donuts to go with. I would have attempted a photo recreation but needy small humans won't allow "A pretty picture indeed. I admit to feeling quite satisfied. | |||
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"Anyone fancy a beer while we wait to see who comes second after me?
I think you'll find..."...that Davina always comes first | |||
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"Good afternoon Taskwife, and little joey beans. Before I reveal my most satisfying thing a question... What is more satisfying than a nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work? Nothing? Wrong, I present to you a shower beer. A nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work, in the shower. Bx" I nearly missed this as your posts look the same as mine.
A shower beer is highly satisfying. Are you adding in your hair-washing and body-soaping skills for complete satisfaction? | |||
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"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof " A late entry... Instant satisfaction isn't everything. Tell me more. Does it actually taste nice? | |||
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"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.
But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first. "Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all... | |||
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"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof " love this. | |||
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"I call for disqualification Mr beef Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers ." If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by... | |||
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"I call for disqualification Mr beef Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers . If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by... " Me thinks the taskmaster may have point and you have been working hard of late in forums I rescind my objection . | |||
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"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.
But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first. "I'm happy to let others come before me Taskmaster. | |||
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"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof A late entry... Instant satisfaction isn't everything. Tell me more. Does it actually taste nice? " Yeah, tastes the same, will just make the world spin pretty quickly lol, a 1l ribena bottle will become 6 bottles of wine It’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, just need a demijohn, some yeast and sugar and an airlock, leave till the bubbles stop and decant | |||
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"I'm not sure I can pick a clear winner Joe. I feel we may need to ask the forumites to complete further tasks in order to see who will be champion and receive my head... " I will follow your lead Taskmaster and happy to assist with any further challenges you have for them to judge accordingly | |||
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"I call for disqualification Mr beef Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers ." That Taskmaster's integrity is solid and unwavering. Absolutely no favouritism played at all! | |||
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"I will be arriving in Vienna in around 30 mins and (after showering ofc) will offer myself as a naked human table covered in the most delectable Viennese cakes and pastries " What a delectable medley of treats you have offered! I'm sure anyone indulging will be very satisfied! | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate
What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.
Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.
Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?
Oh, Meli….
Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.
On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!!
Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death."You've given us a lot to contemplate, I would say it's what satisfies the Taskmaster as to what she likes out of Merlot and the type of hot chocolate. So essentially, pick one and see how it goes | |||
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"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire. For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa. I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate
What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.
Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.
Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?
Oh, Meli….
Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.
On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!!
Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death.
You've given us a lot to contemplate, I would say it's what satisfies the Taskmaster as to what she likes out of Merlot and the type of hot chocolate. So essentially, pick one and see how it goes "The scenario was good and satisfying. I think as long as both drinks are available with allergy-friendly ingredients then I'm happy to give at least 4 points. | |||
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"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.
But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first.
Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all... "Well spotted Taskmaster. I would argue that non of the other contestants have taken a picture 'especially' for you?!
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"I call for disqualification Mr beef Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers . That Taskmaster's integrity is solid and unwavering. Absolutely no favouritism played at all!" Ummm "If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by..." Ummm, moving swiftly on... | |||
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"I'm not sure I can pick a clear winner Joe. I feel we may need to ask the forumites to complete further tasks in order to see who will be champion and receive my head... I will follow your lead Taskmaster and happy to assist with any further challenges you have for them to judge accordingly " That settles it. Taskmaster: Fab Edition will return another time with more tasks. | |||
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"Scammed! "I did actually plan to score everything but it filled up quicker than expected. Thank you all for playing along! | |||
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"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.
But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first.
Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all...
Well spotted Taskmaster. I would argue that non of the other contestants have taken a picture 'especially' for you?!
"Ooooh I actually didn't notice that! Well done for your effort and it's definitely bumped you up a few places | |||
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"Scammed!
I did actually plan to score everything but it filled up quicker than expected. Thank you all for playing along! "Unless we do another thread scoring them at the end of the day for anticipation? | |||
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