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Taskmaster: The Fab Edition...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Welcome to Taskmaster. And as ever, to my left is my very personal assistant. It's Little Joey Beans.

What have you got for me this week Joe?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hello Julie of JulieAndBeef, this week we've asked the forumites to bring in something that you are to many people, and that's the most satisfying thing.

We'll rate all the satisfying things from 1-5 points and the best one at the end of the thread goes home with all of the satisfying things.

It must be good though, the Taskmaster doesn't like it when you defy to satisfy. That, you cannot deny... but you can buy...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Hello Julie of JulieAndBeef, this week we've asked the forumites to bring in something that you are to many people, and that's the most satisfying thing.

We'll rate all the satisfying things from 1-5 points and the best one at the end of the thread goes home with all of the satisfying things.

It must be good though, the Taskmaster doesn't like it when you defy to satisfy. That, you cannot deny... but you can buy... "

And that's enough of that.

Show me what you've got Fabbers. Full descriptions please and you are likely to gain favour with the Taskmaster with a photo and shameless flattery...

(Thanks to Davina for the inspiration )

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else "

And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

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By *elinda BeaverCouple  over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Love this J&B. I will have a think.

It's Likkle JoeBeans!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bring a cuppa and biscuits on demand - there can be nothing more satisfying

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

What is this adorableness?

Oh you two.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less. "

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

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By *istyPeaksCouple  over a year ago

braintree

I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring a cuppa and biscuits on demand - there can be nothing more satisfying"

Nothing? I feel we have an early contender for 1 point unless you have more for me...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Soaking your minge in a hot bath after being banged more times than a ketchup bottle

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By *r TriomanMan  over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Hi TM and LJB, I'm vintage, and and full of bouncy energy; I'm bringing you a ping-stick... it's very satisfying... boy-oooyng

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Love this J&B. I will have a think.

It's Likkle JoeBeans! "

Breaking character for a moment... I know! Too much fun!

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By *agerMorganMan  over a year ago

Canvey Island

Hello taskmaster.

I bring… a very satisfying thing…. An entire role of bubble wrap! Can sit there for hours popping and be left satisfied.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring a cuppa and biscuits on demand - there can be nothing more satisfying

Nothing? I feel we have an early contender for 1 point unless you have more for me... "

Nope - I'm content, there's nothing anywhere close to it so far

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread]

I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format).

Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"What is this adorableness?

Oh you two. "

Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got?

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman  over a year ago

at work

My current most satisfying thing is getting multiple loads at the launderette finished in half an hour or less.

I’m not sure I can shoot my load in here for the photo element but flip reverse the Levi’s ad and have supernanny jo frost instead of Nick Kamen and you’re there!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bring my smile?

(i dont know?)

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying "

And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle


"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else

And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... "

Pretty self explanatory really taskmaster. They can be used for comforting and bribing people all at the same time

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By *r SxxMan  over a year ago

Kent

Those introductions are amazing, well done!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Soaking your minge in a hot bath after being banged more times than a ketchup bottle "

This is the sort of thing the Taskmaster likes to hear. A strong start...

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Also...

He says he's 12 inches but he's 4 inches 5,

Little Joey Beansssss.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

10ft swimming pool for a 8ft garden.

The mr

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By *r SxxMan  over a year ago

Kent

My satisfying thing is........

A tea of tea in the bath!

Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Hi TM and LJB, I'm vintage, and and full of bouncy energy; I'm bringing you a ping-stick... it's very satisfying... boy-oooyng"

Very good. Rather like twanging a doorstopper. Is it always boingy and ready to satisfy?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else

And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more... "

It's a strong start, my worry would be how quickly you lose the satisfaction after they've finished.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent

But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order.

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By *r SxxMan  over a year ago

Kent

Cup of tea* whooppsss

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Hello taskmaster.

I bring… a very satisfying thing…. An entire role of bubble wrap! Can sit there for hours popping and be left satisfied. "

Hours of satisfaction. And I am partial to squeezing things till they burst...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB. "

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread]

I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format).

Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?

"

*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster.

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle


"I bring haribo and chocolate. Absolutely nothing else

And why are those satisfying Mr Sprout? Tell me more...

It's a strong start, my worry would be how quickly you lose the satisfaction after they've finished."

Have you seen how many I have Alex? Um Joe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bring my awesome fab personality

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"I bring my awesome fab personality "

Can you get negative points?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"My current most satisfying thing is getting multiple loads at the launderette finished in half an hour or less.

I’m not sure I can shoot my load in here for the photo element but flip reverse the Levi’s ad and have supernanny jo frost instead of Nick Kamen and you’re there! "

A satisfying mental image and that fresh laundry smell certainly takes you out of 1 point territory...

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually

My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event.

I reckon it's a winner

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread]

I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format).

Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?

*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster. "

Thanks your awesome wonderfulness.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap

It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring my awesome fab personality

Can you get negative points? "

That's what I'm hoping for

a bit like Mr Davis in qi

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Those introductions are amazing, well done!"

The flattery aspect is appreciated but I'm not fully satisfied...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some toast and a can of sweetened condensed milk. There is nothing as satisfying as hot toast with the sweetened condensed milk soaking in to it (unless of course you have a teaspoon and a can of sweetened condensed milk, then you will see me buzzing).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

…..

I reckon it's a winner "

She gets my vote…..

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"10ft swimming pool for a 8ft garden.

The mr "

Two neglected feet. Like an old lady going to the chiropodist.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"I bring my awesome fab personality

Can you get negative points?

That's what I'm hoping for

a bit like Mr Davis in qi "

It's a strategy...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"My satisfying thing is........

A tea of tea in the bath!

Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied "

Moderately satisfying but I want more...

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman  over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent

But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order."

I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration...

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By *r SxxMan  over a year ago

Kent


"My satisfying thing is........

A tea of tea in the bath!

Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied

Moderately satisfying but I want more... "

A pre or post bath and tea massage. Can be as vanilla or sexual as requested.

All finished with a huge fluffy dressing gown.

A satisfying relaxed evening

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?…. "

Moved up in the points there!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring my awesome fab personality "

The Taskmaster is amenable to some clitbait.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"What is this adorableness?

Oh you two.

Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got? "

Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in.

Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me.

Tweezers.

Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there?

Nah.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Got some rhubarb. Maximum points if it turn it into a pie? (I have no idea what I’m doing )

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

Didn't find them but did find

Pampers grass

An extremely large tentacle

& Some dirty Nike trainers.

Mrs

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring my awesome fab personality

Can you get negative points?

That's what I'm hoping for

a bit like Mr Davis in qi

It's a strategy... "

It's the best I can do

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….

Moved up in the points there! "

But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I'm going shopping now. Beat those, any of you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!

"

I can't think of anything worse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would like to offer a jar of Nutella, for it's multiple uses.

The rffled edge of the lid is perfect if you have an itchy back. I can help find just the right spot.

Nutella is tasty. Just eat it. That's satisfying too.

Thirdly, if you offered me a portion of Nutella afterwards, I would do anything you wanted to satisfy you in anyway.

3 in 1 satisfaction

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied"

Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied"

A nice way to cover all your bases, I'm not sure if the Taskmaster would agree but I prefer bedsheets when they're worn in a bit

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

The Taskmaster has chores to do. Boring to do, satisfying once completed. Little Joey Beans will judge harshly in my absence.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied

Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring... "

I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa."

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event.

I reckon it's a winner "

It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford


"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent

But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order.

I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration... "

Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"[Takes out a mobile and holds it up. It's logged into Fab, open on Friday Night's Nocturnal Thread]

I've brought in an evening hosted by Julie (and Beef) of JulieandBeef. What could be more satisfying than a delightful evening with a trainload of wonderfully flirty people. (Well, obviously, a delightful evening actually with wonderfully flirty people, but there are limits to this format).

Do I get points for shameless flattery? Do I? Do I?

*Looks pointedly at the other contestants* This is how you satisfy the Taskmaster.

Thanks your awesome wonderfulness. "

Very well done there Davina. Might be our first 5 pointer but I shall leave that to our Taskmaster

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By *omedyGuyMan  over a year ago

London

Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap

It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying"

Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap

It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying

Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet... "

It was a sample sheet. Why bring in a limitless supply when a taster will satisfy

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman  over a year ago

at work


"My current most satisfying thing is getting multiple loads at the launderette finished in half an hour or less.

I’m not sure I can shoot my load in here for the photo element but flip reverse the Levi’s ad and have supernanny jo frost instead of Nick Kamen and you’re there!

A satisfying mental image and that fresh laundry smell certainly takes you out of 1 point territory... "

I’m hoping no one else wins cos I need my work uniform on Monday.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Those introductions are amazing, well done!

The flattery aspect is appreciated but I'm not fully satisfied... "

Not going to lie, I was pretty satisfied, but that's why you're the Taskmaster

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford


"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap

It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying

Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet... "

I've got over 15feet of the stuff

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By *istyPeaksCouple  over a year ago

braintree


"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying

And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing... "

Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it

The sharp scratch & push as it’s done

The few hours of throbbing afterwards

The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings

And buying pretty jewellery.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So I feel like one of the 3 wise men... but I bring a smorgasbord (a point for a fancy word please) of cheese. Soft and creamy, rich and blue, tingling the taste buds and tantalising you. Dipping into my baked (autotext said naked...) camembert. Feeling that Lancashire melt on your tongue. My cheesiness will satisfy you.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event.

I reckon it's a winner

It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them!"

That's what the sass and conversation are for. I know how much I hate anyone going on about how amazing they are at going down on women, and I don't want to be that unappealing asshole. Plus I think they way I adore learning a new woman's body and preferences and feeling every twitch and facial expression and reaction to my very core has a lot less to do with my actual mouth than my brain.

So if they're not sold on my conversational skills, so be it. I'm usually a lot more interested in taking part than winning anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bring to you - the best night ever!

Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning.

Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bring to the table my trusty ryobi cordless impact driver with bits for the purposes of diy assembly around the house, a sharp pencil, a sturdy tape measure and my reading glasses so I can see what the fuck I’m looking at

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate "

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "

I'll just fangirl by association right here...

I'll also wink at your dad bod.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some toast and a can of sweetened condensed milk. There is nothing as satisfying as hot toast with the sweetened condensed milk soaking in to it (unless of course you have a teaspoon and a can of sweetened condensed milk, then you will see me buzzing). "

Even though I'll eat anything and have no taste, even I have a hard time imaging that being satisfying. What makes the soggy toast so good?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

…..

I reckon it's a winner

She gets my vote….."

It's a strong contender

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have I won yet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise! "

I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My satisfying thing is........

A tea of tea in the bath!

Because you know when you've managed to get a cup of tea in the bath, it's been a good day and you can be satisfied

Moderately satisfying but I want more...

A pre or post bath and tea massage. Can be as vanilla or sexual as requested.

All finished with a huge fluffy dressing gown.

A satisfying relaxed evening "

It does feel like a lot of effort to be satisfied though. We need minimum effort for maximum satisfaction! But very satisfying nonetheless

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring my awesome fab personality

The Taskmaster is amenable to some clitbait. "

That was not a typo by the Taskmaster either!

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman  over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales


"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!

I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table? "

Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation. "

Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.

Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What is this adorableness?

Oh you two.

Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got?

Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in.

Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me.

Tweezers.

Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there?

Nah.

"

I love how observational you are Meli, but I put it to you... Is the satisfaction of tweezing those hairs worth the pain they give you as well?

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.

Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.

Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate? "

Oh, Meli….

Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.

On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Got some rhubarb. Maximum points if it turn it into a pie? (I have no idea what I’m doing )"

I'll have to confer with the Taskmaster on this. Do we give points for the thing itself, or the potential for what that thing can be?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Actually I'm retracting bubble wrap for a better option.

Given that the Taskmaster's assistant is so easily swayed by woman offering body parts....I enter the following for his approval.

Every female member of Fab!!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring my smile?

(i dont know?)

"

It's a beautiful smile. A genuine smile always satisfies. Especially if accompanied by cheese on toast!

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.

Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.

Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?

Oh, Meli….

Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.

On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!! "

Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"What is this adorableness?

Oh you two.

Ah Meli, thank you for offering to satisfy me. What have you got?

Right. Got to set the scene first so bear with. There's me sitting at home, getting ready for a date and thinking, 'what really satisfies you Meli?'. There's the obvious, obviously. Almost brought a man in.

Anyway, there I am, plucking my chin and the answer came to me.

Tweezers.

Sorts out those random stray hairs. And is there anything more satisfying than an ingrown hair removal, tweezing out that bad boy slowly and seeing a good incher coiled in there?

Nah.

I love how observational you are Meli, but I put it to you... Is the satisfaction of tweezing those hairs worth the pain they give you as well?"

This is up there for me. I feel like I've lost a limb when I don't have my tweezers. I have nightmares about being in a coma and turning into a whiskered beast.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Didn't find them but did find

Pampers grass

An extremely large tentacle

& Some dirty Nike trainers.

Mrs "

Are we saying that all 3 are satisfying in their own right? If so, it's definitely 1 point. If together they are satisfying, then you'll have to explain

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By *ickshawedCouple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Hello everyone, hello Taskmaster. Lovely to see you all.

I bring in the most satisfying thing for all your senses. A plate of chocolate brownies decorated with the pictures of those who have previously won Taskmaster.

First you get a whiff of that beautiful aroma, making you feel like you're back in your grandma's kitchen just as she lets you lick the bowl clean. Next you get to see those beauties. The satisfaction of seeing all the victorious and remembering their great achievements. Next the satisfaction of the sensual touch as you lift up a brownie and feel it's soft, gooey texture in your hand and are reminded of youthful dalliances round the back of Asda's bins. The taste is next. It's chocolate. There is no greater thing you can put in your mouth - unless it's after the watershed And the sound of your own sigh of contentment and joy concludes the satisfaction of your senses.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!

"

We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Got some rhubarb. Maximum points if it turn it into a pie? (I have no idea what I’m doing )

I'll have to confer with the Taskmaster on this. Do we give points for the thing itself, or the potential for what that thing can be? "

Can anticipation be satisfying? Or is it just a load of rhubarb? 1 point. Turn it into crumble and add custard (Not Grumpy's) and I might up the points.

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By *elinda BeaverCouple  over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….

Moved up in the points there!

But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge "

That's the kind of critique we're looking for from other contestants!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Didn't find them but did find

Pampers grass

An extremely large tentacle

& Some dirty Nike trainers.

Mrs

Are we saying that all 3 are satisfying in their own right? If so, it's definitely 1 point. If together they are satisfying, then you'll have to explain "

I do believe this a reference to my Hot Pics Scavenger Hunt. It is a satisfying way to spend time and an appeal to my ego. Well played.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would like to offer a jar of Nutella, for it's multiple uses.

The rffled edge of the lid is perfect if you have an itchy back. I can help find just the right spot.

Nutella is tasty. Just eat it. That's satisfying too.

Thirdly, if you offered me a portion of Nutella afterwards, I would do anything you wanted to satisfy you in anyway.

3 in 1 satisfaction"

A very strong case, but the thought of the back-scratched lid going on top of the consumable Nutella might be less than satisfying

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The Taskmaster has chores to do. Boring to do, satisfying once completed. Little Joey Beans will judge harshly in my absence. "

I hope I've done you justice Taskmaster and I won't be punished in the traditional way...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied

Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring...

I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode "

If anything, that dedication would've got you more points

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"The Taskmaster has chores to do. Boring to do, satisfying once completed. Little Joey Beans will judge harshly in my absence.

I hope I've done you justice Taskmaster and I won't be punished in the traditional way..."

But we both enjoy it so much. Well I do. And that's all that matters.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied

Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring...

I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode

If anything, that dedication would've got you more points "

Then fuck it the TONGUE IT IS!! Mr Beans bring me a knife

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!

We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points? "

Of course. Especially if that means winning multiple positions (I do love multiple positions). Unless this means that one will be disregarded, in which case just judge the first, and I'll keep the afternoon trading insults with Jennie as my guilty pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent

But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order.

I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration...

Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level ."

A very strong case, would we need verification of fingers being of such magic?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I'm bring my amazeing magic fingers and do di do singing talent

But intend to not use both at the same time but if you sing along with me Julie I might get them in the right order.

I would choose one or the other. Bear in mind your do do do skills left most of the Lounge in a state of frustration...

Magic fingers then .I've never had any complaints with regards to a multi orgasmic level ."

The Taskmaster is sceptical but admires your confidence.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "

Hope we're doing it justice! Just goes to show you never know who's reading the fora!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Having worked on the actual Taskmaster for the first few series, this thread is most pleasing to see come out of the following for the show! "

It's an honour to have you here, good sir. You and everyone else who worked on the show has brought joy to at least hundreds of people! You should do an AMA on here

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying

And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...

Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it

The sharp scratch & push as it’s done

The few hours of throbbing afterwards

The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings

And buying pretty jewellery."

I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring my smile?

(i dont know?)

"

It is a fantastic smile and one that's given me a bit of satisfaction right now. Although as the assistant, it's not worth as much

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"So I feel like one of the 3 wise men... but I bring a smorgasbord (a point for a fancy word please) of cheese. Soft and creamy, rich and blue, tingling the taste buds and tantalising you. Dipping into my baked (autotext said naked...) camembert. Feeling that Lancashire melt on your tongue. My cheesiness will satisfy you."

Cheese. A cunning appeal to the Taskmaster's tastes. Whether music, films or actual fromage, the Taskmaster is a fan of all things cheesy.

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By *istyPeaksCouple  over a year ago

braintree


"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying

And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...

Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it

The sharp scratch & push as it’s done

The few hours of throbbing afterwards

The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings

And buying pretty jewellery.

I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting... "

How about I being said piercings still attached to relevant body parts for closer judgement?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A 2ft square sheet of unpopped bubble wrap

It's usages in everyday life is limitless and undeniably satisfying

Ahhh yes, limitless and satisfying up to 2 square feet...

I've got over 15feet of the stuff "

That's how you do it!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Good afternoon Taskwife, and little joey beans.

Before I reveal my most satisfying thing a question...

What is more satisfying than a nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work?

Nothing?

Wrong, I present to you a shower beer. A nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work, in the shower.

Bx

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"My mouth.

Highly rated amongst all who've experienced the physical skills. Genuine enthusiasm for throat fucking and leaving balls so empty that they echo.

Also comes with a fuck tonne of sass and conversation for before and after the main event.

I reckon it's a winner

It definitely is a winner if I and many other men had their choice! Unfortunately, you may lose points among the female contingent so you'll need to sell it to them!

That's what the sass and conversation are for. I know how much I hate anyone going on about how amazing they are at going down on women, and I don't want to be that unappealing asshole. Plus I think they way I adore learning a new woman's body and preferences and feeling every twitch and facial expression and reaction to my very core has a lot less to do with my actual mouth than my brain.

So if they're not sold on my conversational skills, so be it. I'm usually a lot more interested in taking part than winning anyway "

The Taskmaster is turned on. Let's see if you can convert that to satisfaction...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Some toast and a can of sweetened condensed milk. There is nothing as satisfying as hot toast with the sweetened condensed milk soaking in to it (unless of course you have a teaspoon and a can of sweetened condensed milk, then you will see me buzzing).

Even though I'll eat anything and have no taste, even I have a hard time imaging that being satisfying. What makes the soggy toast so good?"

Agreed Harder sell please or I might not even reach 1 point.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring my awesome fab personality

Can you get negative points?

That's what I'm hoping for

a bit like Mr Davis in qi

It's a strategy...

It's the best I can do "

Reverse psychology. This one understands how the TM's mind works.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring to you - the best night ever!

Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning.

Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right? "

I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case.

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By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I will be arriving in Vienna in around 30 mins and (after showering ofc) will offer myself as a naked human table covered in the most delectable Viennese cakes and pastries

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring to the table my trusty ryobi cordless impact driver with bits for the purposes of diy assembly around the house, a sharp pencil, a sturdy tape measure and my reading glasses so I can see what the fuck I’m looking at "

I fail to see the satisfaction and await your justification with interest...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!

I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table?

Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands. "

Hot! Damn!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….

Moved up in the points there!

But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge "

Pissing on someone’s garden doesn’t make your cream taste fresher!!

*I think that’s how that saying goes.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Actually I'm retracting bubble wrap for a better option.

Given that the Taskmaster's assistant is so easily swayed by woman offering body parts....I enter the following for his approval.

Every female member of Fab!!"

I suggest you remember that the assistant is under me... As that's where I like him

Satisfy us both please, but mainly me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bring to you - the best night ever!

Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning.

Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right?

I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case. "

She's appealed to my coffee drinking sensibilities Taskmaster, combined with the rest, it's a very strong case!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Hello everyone, hello Taskmaster. Lovely to see you all.

I bring in the most satisfying thing for all your senses. A plate of chocolate brownies decorated with the pictures of those who have previously won Taskmaster.

First you get a whiff of that beautiful aroma, making you feel like you're back in your grandma's kitchen just as she lets you lick the bowl clean. Next you get to see those beauties. The satisfaction of seeing all the victorious and remembering their great achievements. Next the satisfaction of the sensual touch as you lift up a brownie and feel it's soft, gooey texture in your hand and are reminded of youthful dalliances round the back of Asda's bins. The taste is next. It's chocolate. There is no greater thing you can put in your mouth - unless it's after the watershed And the sound of your own sigh of contentment and joy concludes the satisfaction of your senses. "

A most satisfying description. I am pleased.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I could look you in the eyes while guiding you in a soft sultry Welsh accent to slip your hands in my bra and squeeze my boobs gently. It’s ASMR i promise!

I feel like this will only give the men blue balls which is less than satisfying. Can you bring more to the table?

Oh i forgot to mention that I’d be slowly wanking them at the same time. Slow and steady with coconut oil covered hands.

Hot! Damn! "

Ok, that has to be 5 points! My word

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Actually I'm retracting bubble wrap for a better option.

Given that the Taskmaster's assistant is so easily swayed by woman offering body parts....I enter the following for his approval.

Every female member of Fab!!

I suggest you remember that the assistant is under me... As that's where I like him

Satisfy us both please, but mainly me. "

I don't like the implication that my impartiality has been compromised

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Re said magic finger in can offer written and verbal testimonial to my skills with and the heights they have take ladies in the past .maya has been with ten years and can't attest they are intact magic.

I may not be able to spell but some things I do excell. My do do doing

May when typed be wrong but had you been able to hear me .there would have been no doublt what the song was.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer. "

But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Fresh bed sheets, always satisfied in the knowledge that you can go to bed with lovely clean and fresh smelling sheets... Or if your lucky go to bed ruin the sheets and leave yourself and hopefully others satisfied

Fresh bedding is indeed satisfying. The most satisfying? Let's see what others bring...

I wanted to be cocky and say my tongue, but after a deep breath and some time to think I came to the conclusion I wouldn't like to have to be separated from it if I lost the episode

If anything, that dedication would've got you more points

Then fuck it the TONGUE IT IS!! Mr Beans bring me a knife"

A detached tongue. Not the *most* satisfying. I suggest you stick with the bedding...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So I feel like one of the 3 wise men... but I bring a smorgasbord (a point for a fancy word please) of cheese. Soft and creamy, rich and blue, tingling the taste buds and tantalising you. Dipping into my baked (autotext said naked...) camembert. Feeling that Lancashire melt on your tongue. My cheesiness will satisfy you.

Cheese. A cunning appeal to the Taskmaster's tastes. Whether music, films or actual fromage, the Taskmaster is a fan of all things cheesy. "

Always try to appeal with my cunning lingo.... I will offer full access to my cheesy emporium and Abba's greatest its will schmooze you...

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By *educing_EmCouple  over a year ago

Tipperary

I bring myself wrapped in not much other than a cheeky smirk and a silky robe.

On one side of me there is a bottle of Moët chilling in an ice bucket accompanied by a platter of free strawberries.

On the other side is a delightful hot chocolate, fresh cream on top with some mouthwatering donuts to go with.

I would have attempted a photo recreation but needy small humans won't allow

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"If my opening offering wasn't satisfying enough, I'd like to follow up with an afternoon trading insults with JennieTV and myself. Very satisfying (for us, anyway)!

We'll have to see if you're allowed to bring two things in. Would you like us to choose which one gets the higher points?

Of course. Especially if that means winning multiple positions (I do love multiple positions). Unless this means that one will be disregarded, in which case just judge the first, and I'll keep the afternoon trading insults with Jennie as my guilty pleasure.

"

I like both of your offerings too much to disregard either. Both shall be judged.

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

Anyone fancy a beer while we wait to see who comes second after me?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I’m bringing my piercings. Very satisfying

And what in particular is satisfying about them. 5 sweet, sweet points are not given for nothing...

Choosing what I’m having done & anticipating it

The sharp scratch & push as it’s done

The few hours of throbbing afterwards

The tenderness & sensitivity of certain piercings

And buying pretty jewellery.

I can see why you're satisfied. I however am left wanting...

How about I being said piercings still attached to relevant body parts for closer judgement?"

Rather like a human fidget toy. Fairly satisfying.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I will be arriving in Vienna in around 30 mins and (after showering ofc) will offer myself as a naked human table covered in the most delectable Viennese cakes and pastries "

5 points. It will take a lot to beat this.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Squirty cream. Nothing more or less.

A lot of gas and a sticky mess, you're going to have to sell this one to me hard WoodyB.

Can you imagine wrapping your hand around it and giving it a firm and vigorous shake, and then directing it towards your mouth and shooting it onto your tongue and swallowing a full mouthful without any guilt?….

Moved up in the points there!

But once out of gas, you're left with a spluttering dribble that makes you look incontinence...so you're only good for 24 hours unless kept in fridge

Pissing on someone’s garden doesn’t make your cream taste fresher!!

*I think that’s how that saying goes. "

Keep going both of you. This sort of bickering does satisfy the TM

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring to you - the best night ever!

Okay, let me set the scene. It’s Friday evening, there’s no work tomorrow, you’ve just had a lovely hot shower, put your comfiest clothes on and got yourself a selection of your favourite snacks from the kitchen, you get into bed (clean sheets of course) and they’ve just brought out a new season of your favourite show to binge watch. Everything feels just right and eventually you drift off into the most peaceful sleep ever, knowing that your alarm isn’t going to go off in the morning.

Or some really fancy coffee, I could just bring that. You both like coffee right?

I'm feeling quite satisfied. You make a strong case.

She's appealed to my coffee drinking sensibilities Taskmaster, combined with the rest, it's a very strong case!"

We're high up in the points, I agree. Undoubtedly satisfying.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Anyone fancy a beer while we wait to see who comes second after me? "

I think you'll find...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I bring myself wrapped in not much other than a cheeky smirk and a silky robe.

On one side of me there is a bottle of Moët chilling in an ice bucket accompanied by a platter of free strawberries.

On the other side is a delightful hot chocolate, fresh cream on top with some mouthwatering donuts to go with.

I would have attempted a photo recreation but needy small humans won't allow "

A pretty picture indeed. I admit to feeling quite satisfied.

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By *vilgasamWoman  over a year ago

The dot in the i

Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Anyone fancy a beer while we wait to see who comes second after me?

I think you'll find..."

...that Davina always comes first

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Good afternoon Taskwife, and little joey beans.

Before I reveal my most satisfying thing a question...

What is more satisfying than a nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work?

Nothing?

Wrong, I present to you a shower beer. A nice cold beer at the end of a long day at work, in the shower.

Bx"

I nearly missed this as your posts look the same as mine.

A shower beer is highly satisfying. Are you adding in your hair-washing and body-soaping skills for complete satisfaction?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof

"

A late entry...

Instant satisfaction isn't everything. Tell me more. Does it actually taste nice?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I'm not sure I can pick a clear winner Joe. I feel we may need to ask the forumites to complete further tasks in order to see who will be champion and receive my head...

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

I call for disqualification Mr beef

Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers .

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.

But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first. "

Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof

"

love this.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I call for disqualification Mr beef

Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers ."

If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by...

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford


"I call for disqualification Mr beef

Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers .

If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by... "

Me thinks the taskmaster may have point and you have been working hard of late in forums

I rescind my objection .

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By *elinda BeaverCouple  over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.

But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first. "

I'm happy to let others come before me Taskmaster.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I wouldn't object to being pipped by Beef...

...at all!

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By *vilgasamWoman  over a year ago

The dot in the i


"Hmm, I can make ribena wine, it’ll take a few months but it’ll be around 28% proof

A late entry...

Instant satisfaction isn't everything. Tell me more. Does it actually taste nice? "

Yeah, tastes the same, will just make the world spin pretty quickly lol, a 1l ribena bottle will become 6 bottles of wine

It’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, just need a demijohn, some yeast and sugar and an airlock, leave till the bubbles stop and decant

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not sure I can pick a clear winner Joe. I feel we may need to ask the forumites to complete further tasks in order to see who will be champion and receive my head... "

I will follow your lead Taskmaster and happy to assist with any further challenges you have for them to judge accordingly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I call for disqualification Mr beef

Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers ."

That Taskmaster's integrity is solid and unwavering. Absolutely no favouritism played at all!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I will be arriving in Vienna in around 30 mins and (after showering ofc) will offer myself as a naked human table covered in the most delectable Viennese cakes and pastries "

What a delectable medley of treats you have offered! I'm sure anyone indulging will be very satisfied!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.

Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.

Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?

Oh, Meli….

Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.

On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!!

Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death."

You've given us a lot to contemplate, I would say it's what satisfies the Taskmaster as to what she likes out of Merlot and the type of hot chocolate. So essentially, pick one and see how it goes

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"My most satisfying thing ever is cuddles and a good Merlot in front of a crackling open fire.

For extra points I’m going give context - it’s a bitter winters day outside. We’ve been out together for an afternoon of shopping and bought tons of stuff we love and had a dirty burger and chips. Back home, I gave an expert massage which led to amazing sex, which led to a bath together and, finally, the sofa.

I personally don't drink Felix, so you're going to have to sell why it's a Merlot and not a hot chocolate

What a coincidence, Joe, I don’t either! So for those of us cool kids who don’t need alcohol to be attracted to others () we have the silkiest smooth hot chocolate. Made with almond milk for extra flavour, it fills the mouth with a heady rich chocolate hit, which lingers on the tongue and gently slides down the throat with a delicious warming sensation.

Great. Love some anaphylaxis with my hot chocolate.

Maximum one point there surely? It's fine to say yeah; I'll sort out you non-alchies. But what about those of us who want to survive drinking hot chocolate?

Oh, Meli….

Not having a nut allergy I forget about that. Ill shall henceforth switch to oat milk.

On a separate note, can people please stop picking apart my dreamy winter scene!!!!

Sounds even shitter now. Oat milk? Think I'd rather face death.

You've given us a lot to contemplate, I would say it's what satisfies the Taskmaster as to what she likes out of Merlot and the type of hot chocolate. So essentially, pick one and see how it goes "

The scenario was good and satisfying. I think as long as both drinks are available with allergy-friendly ingredients then I'm happy to give at least 4 points.

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By *elinda BeaverCouple  over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.

But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first.

Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all... "

Well spotted Taskmaster. I would argue that non of the other contestants have taken a picture 'especially' for you?!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I call for disqualification Mr beef

Having itmate knowledge of the taskmaster .and knowinh what she would find satisfying . inspring her to respond with regards mr beefs own magic fingers .

That Taskmaster's integrity is solid and unwavering. Absolutely no favouritism played at all!"

Ummm


"If it's a choice between virtual or real satisfaction, the TM would be a fool to pass it by..."

Ummm, moving swiftly on...

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I'm not sure I can pick a clear winner Joe. I feel we may need to ask the forumites to complete further tasks in order to see who will be champion and receive my head...

I will follow your lead Taskmaster and happy to assist with any further challenges you have for them to judge accordingly "

That settles it. Taskmaster: Fab Edition will return another time with more tasks.

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

Scammed!

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By *ulieAndBeef OP   Couple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"Scammed! "

I did actually plan to score everything but it filled up quicker than expected. Thank you all for playing along!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"After careful consideration my most satisfying thing is my Husband he is everything to me. But if I lose someone else gets to keep him and I can't have that.. So this is my second most satisfying. My satisfyer.

But look at all the satisfying things you could've taken! I respect your decision to not come first.

Although I have spotted your profile pic. Instant bonus points for your effort. You may just get to keep it after all...

Well spotted Taskmaster. I would argue that non of the other contestants have taken a picture 'especially' for you?!

"

Ooooh I actually didn't notice that! Well done for your effort and it's definitely bumped you up a few places

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

What? Wait!

Wait! What?

No points for anyone?

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Aye not how it works on telli

But they do have less contestants

Think this going long drawn out process .but no doublt the taskmaster is in need of a rest and Mr beef beer and magic fingers .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Scammed!

I did actually plan to score everything but it filled up quicker than expected. Thank you all for playing along! "

Unless we do another thread scoring them at the end of the day for anticipation?

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