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Women Only ..... Explain to men how they should wank.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You start.

I can't be arsed.

( that's not my method btw )

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Okay. I’m listening.

Well, reading. You know what I meant.

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton

Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

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By *ansoffateMan  over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Lol insta-like for the OP

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By *hrek101Man  over a year ago

Herts


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean "

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

With me watching and telling you how I want you to wank for me. How much I love watching you stroke your cock.

If you could also catch your breath a few times, look at me like you really want to fuck me, growl and not hold back when you want to say something... and also, use lots of lube so I can really enjoy it, that would be wonderful. Thank you men.

*Or, you know, just have a wank. You know your body best, you do you. And your cock.

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit "

In that case I suggest trying for the back of the knee.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit "

Could you get it into mine ?

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit

Could you get it into mine ?"

Get extra sweaty for lubrication, no one wants a chaffed penis.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Into an old sock is best

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By *hrek101Man  over a year ago

Herts


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit

In that case I suggest trying for the back of the knee."

One minute....

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By *hrek101Man  over a year ago

Herts


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit

In that case I suggest trying for the back of the knee.

One minute...."

I keep poking myself in the eye

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Isn't the answer warm apple pie?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit "

I know...it kept missing your armpit...

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit

In that case I suggest trying for the back of the knee.

One minute.... I keep poking myself in the eye "

Taking the term “skull fuck” to a whole new level!

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Carlisle


"Into an old sock is best "

Are you calling Granny an old sock???

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock??? "

Without doubt the greatest username I’ve seen on here!!!!

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton

So good I didn’t give you props for the awesome granny comment!

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Carlisle


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock???

Without doubt the greatest username I’ve seen on here!!!! "

Awww thank you xx thats a lovely thing to say

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock???

Without doubt the greatest username I’ve seen on here!!!!

Awww thank you xx thats a lovely thing to say "

Won’t mind going two’s up on granny then? In need of a wank.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock??? "

Whoops sorry

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Carlisle


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock???

Without doubt the greatest username I’ve seen on here!!!!

Awww thank you xx thats a lovely thing to say

Won’t mind going two’s up on granny then? In need of a wank."

Ask her at your own risk

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Into an old sock is best

Are you calling Granny an old sock??? "

Old Granny Sock Wank ..... hmmmm it's not calling to me .....

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By *agnar73Man  over a year ago

glasgow-ish


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean "

Not an expert but isn’t that called ‘bagpiping’

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By *nkyCplCouple  over a year ago

Northampton


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Not an expert but isn’t that called ‘bagpiping’ "

Fucking brilliant! Ha ha well played.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM! Now this technique is my favorite and seems to work well….. in fact Ive never heard a complaint against it. So lay back do as I say and by the end of this post you’ll be cumming like a pornstar!!!

Its always a good way to start by licking your fingers…. getting them really wet and using them to pull and twease your nipples.

Once they are nice and hard, slap them may not be to all men’s taste but go with me…. slap them, then slowly rub your hands down your body and start to slowly play with your bellend.

Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK then really rub it as hard and as fast as you can!!!! HARD AND FAST

Now this is where the fun really starts….. when you get really hard take either a toy in one hand or if you don’t have a toy use 2 fingers on your main hand…. SLOWLY slide it or them into your ass hole WHALST STILL RUBBING COCK WITH OTHER HAND HARD!!!

After about 45-2.00 of this start to ram your toy or your fingers into your asshole!! AS HARD AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN whilst still rubbing your dick hard with the other hand!

When you are at your hardest or… if your feeling close at this point….. ANGLE YOUR FINGERS OR THE TOY UP AND PUSH HARD AND FAST INTO YOUR G-SPOT….. important that it is fast and hard! With the other hand rubbing the dick try to rub it still but press down as hard as you can… almost as if you are trying to touch whatever it is ramming your G-spot!! STAY FAST AND HARD

Keep doing this till you Orgasm…. WHEN YOU DO ORGASM IT IS IMORTANT TO KEEP GOING…. stay hard and fast on both!!!

When you feel like you are going to shit yourself relax its your jizz coming….. you are close now…. JUST KEEP RAMMING THE G-SPOT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND RUB THE CLIT HARD!

When you feel it coming DONT STOP…… KEEP GOING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR COCK SCREAMING!!

When you do stop it should be WHEN YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND WHEN YOU HAVE JIZZED THE WHOLE ROOM!

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By *hrek101Man  over a year ago

Herts

Thanks for the tips

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Carlisle


"Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM! Now this technique is my favorite and seems to work well….. in fact Ive never heard a complaint against it. So lay back do as I say and by the end of this post you’ll be cumming like a pornstar!!!

Its always a good way to start by licking your fingers…. getting them really wet and using them to pull and twease your nipples.

Once they are nice and hard, slap them may not be to all men’s taste but go with me…. slap them, then slowly rub your hands down your body and start to slowly play with your bellend.

Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK then really rub it as hard and as fast as you can!!!! HARD AND FAST

Now this is where the fun really starts….. when you get really hard take either a toy in one hand or if you don’t have a toy use 2 fingers on your main hand…. SLOWLY slide it or them into your ass hole WHALST STILL RUBBING COCK WITH OTHER HAND HARD!!!

After about 45-2.00 of this start to ram your toy or your fingers into your asshole!! AS HARD AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN whilst still rubbing your dick hard with the other hand!

When you are at your hardest or… if your feeling close at this point….. ANGLE YOUR FINGERS OR THE TOY UP AND PUSH HARD AND FAST INTO YOUR G-SPOT….. important that it is fast and hard! With the other hand rubbing the dick try to rub it still but press down as hard as you can… almost as if you are trying to touch whatever it is ramming your G-spot!! STAY FAST AND HARD

Keep doing this till you Orgasm…. WHEN YOU DO ORGASM IT IS IMORTANT TO KEEP GOING…. stay hard and fast on both!!!

When you feel like you are going to shit yourself relax its your jizz coming….. you are close now…. JUST KEEP RAMMING THE G-SPOT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND RUB THE CLIT HARD!

When you feel it coming DONT STOP…… KEEP GOING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR COCK SCREAMING!!

When you do stop it should be WHEN YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND WHEN YOU HAVE JIZZED THE WHOLE ROOM!"

My living room looks like i just went wild with a super soaker filled with yoghurt… thankyou again… you’re the best!!

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By *WfellaMan  over a year ago

liverpool


"Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM! Now this technique is my favorite and seems to work well….. in fact Ive never heard a complaint against it. So lay back do as I say and by the end of this post you’ll be cumming like a pornstar!!!

Its always a good way to start by licking your fingers…. getting them really wet and using them to pull and twease your nipples.

Once they are nice and hard, slap them may not be to all men’s taste but go with me…. slap them, then slowly rub your hands down your body and start to slowly play with your bellend.

Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK then really rub it as hard and as fast as you can!!!! HARD AND FAST

Now this is where the fun really starts….. when you get really hard take either a toy in one hand or if you don’t have a toy use 2 fingers on your main hand…. SLOWLY slide it or them into your ass hole WHALST STILL RUBBING COCK WITH OTHER HAND HARD!!!

After about 45-2.00 of this start to ram your toy or your fingers into your asshole!! AS HARD AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN whilst still rubbing your dick hard with the other hand!

When you are at your hardest or… if your feeling close at this point….. ANGLE YOUR FINGERS OR THE TOY UP AND PUSH HARD AND FAST INTO YOUR G-SPOT….. important that it is fast and hard! With the other hand rubbing the dick try to rub it still but press down as hard as you can… almost as if you are trying to touch whatever it is ramming your G-spot!! STAY FAST AND HARD

Keep doing this till you Orgasm…. WHEN YOU DO ORGASM IT IS IMORTANT TO KEEP GOING…. stay hard and fast on both!!!

When you feel like you are going to shit yourself relax its your jizz coming….. you are close now…. JUST KEEP RAMMING THE G-SPOT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND RUB THE CLIT HARD!

When you feel it coming DONT STOP…… KEEP GOING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR COCK SCREAMING!!

When you do stop it should be WHEN YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND WHEN YOU HAVE JIZZED THE WHOLE ROOM!"

Anyone know the best method for cleaning faeces from white Egyptian cotton bedding?

Asking for a friend x

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM!"

Full marks for this, but I do have one question. Does this mean I have to keep doing it until 30th January?


"Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK"

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By *lynJMan  over a year ago

Morden


"Step 1: Place penis into armpit

Step 2: Move arm up and down to generate some friction.

Step 3: Ejaculate into armpit

Step 4: Lick armpit clean

Just tried and couldn't quite get my penis into my armpit "

Does it have to be your own armpit?

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By *lynJMan  over a year ago

Morden


"Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM! Now this technique is my favorite and seems to work well….. in fact Ive never heard a complaint against it. So lay back do as I say and by the end of this post you’ll be cumming like a pornstar!!!

Its always a good way to start by licking your fingers…. getting them really wet and using them to pull and twease your nipples.

Once they are nice and hard, slap them may not be to all men’s taste but go with me…. slap them, then slowly rub your hands down your body and start to slowly play with your bellend.

Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK then really rub it as hard and as fast as you can!!!! HARD AND FAST

Now this is where the fun really starts….. when you get really hard take either a toy in one hand or if you don’t have a toy use 2 fingers on your main hand…. SLOWLY slide it or them into your ass hole WHALST STILL RUBBING COCK WITH OTHER HAND HARD!!!

After about 45-2.00 of this start to ram your toy or your fingers into your asshole!! AS HARD AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN whilst still rubbing your dick hard with the other hand!

When you are at your hardest or… if your feeling close at this point….. ANGLE YOUR FINGERS OR THE TOY UP AND PUSH HARD AND FAST INTO YOUR G-SPOT….. important that it is fast and hard! With the other hand rubbing the dick try to rub it still but press down as hard as you can… almost as if you are trying to touch whatever it is ramming your G-spot!! STAY FAST AND HARD

Keep doing this till you Orgasm…. WHEN YOU DO ORGASM IT IS IMORTANT TO KEEP GOING…. stay hard and fast on both!!!

When you feel like you are going to shit yourself relax its your jizz coming….. you are close now…. JUST KEEP RAMMING THE G-SPOT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND RUB THE CLIT HARD!

When you feel it coming DONT STOP…… KEEP GOING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR COCK SCREAMING!!

When you do stop it should be WHEN YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND WHEN YOU HAVE JIZZED THE WHOLE ROOM!

My living room looks like i just went wild with a super soaker filled with yoghurt… thankyou again… you’re the best!! "

Just spray the walls with luminol, illuminate the room with a black light and say it was decorated by Jackson Pollock.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

As quickly as possible. None of this edging malarkey.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The best lube is chilli oil, and if you really want a sensual experience, combine that with rough sandpaper. You'll thank me later.

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford


"The best lube is chilli oil, and if you really want a sensual experience, combine that with rough sandpaper. You'll thank me later."

Thanks for the help. I’m in quite urgent need of a fire extinguisher btw

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The best lube is chilli oil, and if you really want a sensual experience, combine that with rough sandpaper. You'll thank me later.

Thanks for the help. I’m in quite urgent need of a fire extinguisher btw "

Feeling hot

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Certain ones, with a cactus...

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Aggressively, furiously, like a horny ape at the zoo. Oh wait that's just what you do to us, my bad.

Gently caress that penis until you loving cum into your forever hanky

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Well I don't wank myself I always leave it to the Lady .

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Oh my word! I'll piss myself laughing if I read much more of this!

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By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"You start.

I can't be arsed.

( that's not my method btw )"

Weird, that is my method of telling a guy he should wank. You start, I can't be arsed.

I you granny, I really do.

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By *B69Woman  over a year ago

Wiltshire


"Heyy boys ….. cumming is THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASM you can have, now most think that it is only a few boy can have this type of orgasm…. but I tell you that it is Possible ALL MEN TO CUM! Now this technique is my favorite and seems to work well….. in fact Ive never heard a complaint against it. So lay back do as I say and by the end of this post you’ll be cumming like a pornstar!!!

Its always a good way to start by licking your fingers…. getting them really wet and using them to pull and twease your nipples.

Once they are nice and hard, slap them may not be to all men’s taste but go with me…. slap them, then slowly rub your hands down your body and start to slowly play with your bellend.

Play with your bellend in this way till you start to get hard ( or if your already hard to keep your blood pumping ) after about 30-1.30 doing this SLAP YOU DICK then really rub it as hard and as fast as you can!!!! HARD AND FAST

Now this is where the fun really starts….. when you get really hard take either a toy in one hand or if you don’t have a toy use 2 fingers on your main hand…. SLOWLY slide it or them into your ass hole WHALST STILL RUBBING COCK WITH OTHER HAND HARD!!!

After about 45-2.00 of this start to ram your toy or your fingers into your asshole!! AS HARD AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN whilst still rubbing your dick hard with the other hand!

When you are at your hardest or… if your feeling close at this point….. ANGLE YOUR FINGERS OR THE TOY UP AND PUSH HARD AND FAST INTO YOUR G-SPOT….. important that it is fast and hard! With the other hand rubbing the dick try to rub it still but press down as hard as you can… almost as if you are trying to touch whatever it is ramming your G-spot!! STAY FAST AND HARD

Keep doing this till you Orgasm…. WHEN YOU DO ORGASM IT IS IMORTANT TO KEEP GOING…. stay hard and fast on both!!!

When you feel like you are going to shit yourself relax its your jizz coming….. you are close now…. JUST KEEP RAMMING THE G-SPOT AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND RUB THE CLIT HARD!

When you feel it coming DONT STOP…… KEEP GOING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR YOUR COCK SCREAMING!!

When you do stop it should be WHEN YOU CANT TAKE ANYMORE AND WHEN YOU HAVE JIZZED THE WHOLE ROOM!"

Today has been an entertaining one thanks to you

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

Don't forget the Deep Heat on your hands.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don't forget the Deep Heat on your hands."

Vick is good too, helps stop getting willy-flu...x

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

Well that was the shittest wank I’ve ever had

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

I've seen some lovely spiky gloves on here. Stick 'em on and knock one out

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

They should wank about 5 cm from my face whilst my fingers are massaging their balls and bum

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"They should wank about 5 cm from my face whilst my fingers are massaging their balls and bum "

It’s not really in the spirit of the thread, but you’re not wrong either.

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