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Have you ever gone back?
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I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.
Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Why do you think you shouldn't have Op?
Yes I have done. There's a beautiful, beautiful man who I dated for a couple of years. We would drive each other insane by the end of it but the sex was really great. No, scratch that. It was perfect. He knew exactly how to read my body and I his, when we were fucking it was pure lust. Desire. All of that.
So, he got in touch recently. Some rubbish reason about reading an article and thinking about me, you know the sort of thing.
Anyway, the sex is still fucking incredible. I don't want to date him. At all. Can't do that again. I'd like to have sex with him again but I'm currently protecting my heart a little bit more so it's probably a bad idea. I'm hoping we can stay friends who have sex from time to time.
So yes, I'm awful for it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You were open about what you wanted, did she reciprocate her expectations? I guess as long as you made it clear it was just sex and she knew that then all good, just dont give her hope by repetition of the act. That's when things get complicated I guess
And yes it's happened to me. Not something that will ever be repeated I'm worth more than that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I'm over someone, I'm completely over them. It's like a switch in my head and any attraction to them just goes.
All except one guy, he could message me and I'd drop everything just to see him.
And yes it would lead to sex.
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Yes, it was a bad idea.
Great at the time, but the aftermath was messy, emotionally, for me.
I think he disconnected the second he came, personally.
He actually said it, publicly as well, which was tough. |
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"Why do you think you shouldn't have Op?
Yes I have done. There's a beautiful, beautiful man who I dated for a couple of years. We would drive each other insane by the end of it but the sex was really great. No, scratch that. It was perfect. He knew exactly how to read my body and I his, when we were fucking it was pure lust. Desire. All of that.
So, he got in touch recently. Some rubbish reason about reading an article and thinking about me, you know the sort of thing.
Anyway, the sex is still fucking incredible. I don't want to date him. At all. Can't do that again. I'd like to have sex with him again but I'm currently protecting my heart a little bit more so it's probably a bad idea. I'm hoping we can stay friends who have sex from time to time.
So yes, I'm awful for it. "
This is a good perspective, Meli, but, as others have said, I’m usually firmly in the camp of what’s done is done.
I suppose as long as you both know definitively it is occasional shagging when the desire and opportunity presents, and no one is catching feelings or getting hurt, there’s no issues with it.
This woman wouldn’t subscribe to that so I feel like I shouldn’t have gone there. Hopefully she won’t think less of me for it. |
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"You were open about what you wanted, did she reciprocate her expectations? I guess as long as you made it clear it was just sex and she knew that then all good, just dont give her hope by repetition of the act. That's when things get complicated I guess
And yes it's happened to me. Not something that will ever be repeated I'm worth more than that"
Agreed  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yes, it was a bad idea.
Great at the time, but the aftermath was messy, emotionally, for me.
I think he disconnected the second he came, personally.
He actually said it, publicly as well, which was tough."
He said it publicly? That's really fucking awful. Sorry you went through that x |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
When I was younger, yes.
But now I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser. No. It’s all fun and games and exciting at the start, a bit of a thrill, a bit of a challenge. Then it starts to eat away at you a little bit and you feel demoralised. Fuck that for a laugh.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I've gone back once, I've gone back multiple times (different people) It's never worked out well and I've learnt my lesson. The past is the past and needs to stay there along with the people in it.
Pxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. |
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Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.
We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.
Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.
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"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.
We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.
Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.
"
That sounds pretty tough on you both. Seems as though you are both destined to stay in the loop. Relationships aren’t always as simple as we’d like, huh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.
We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.
Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.
"
Been there dude, it's soul crushing when you see them causing so much destruction due to their mental health, worse still when they know they're doing, feel guilty, but won't stop. I was no prize myself during that time, I messed up a lot too
As PawgSlut pointed out too in the comment above, when the sex is beyond anything you've ever had before, it's almost impossible to let go  |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. "
I've change my mind. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I have done. We had split up and carried on having the sex for about a year.
It really messed with my head and I'd not do it again. I wish I'd said no the first time.
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"100%! When the sex is amazing it's ten times harder not to go back x"
Hooray!
Thank goodness at least one person other than me can see something positive about keeping a good sexual liaison on the books.
There are loads of good reasons for not sharing you life with someone who it didn't work out with but it doesn't mean you have to give up what was good.
Unless you have promised someone new that you won't go back! |
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"I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.
Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to?"
Why wouldnt you? If its good and both want to? Why so many non sensical rules?
They are exes for a reason?
They were partners for a reason?
People change.?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind. "
What?  |
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"I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.
Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to?"
I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years.. |
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"I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.
Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to? I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years.. "
And do you feel that it’s not in healthy for you both? I guess if no one is being hurt emotionally or prevented from moving on, then it’s a good thing. |
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"I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.
Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to? I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years..
And do you feel that it’s not in healthy for you both? I guess if no one is being hurt emotionally or prevented from moving on, then it’s a good thing."
one it's an utterly fuck up and we both should know better but it's the best sex either have ever had.. so we still dabble. |
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"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.
We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.
Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.
Been there dude, it's soul crushing when you see them causing so much destruction due to their mental health, worse still when they know they're doing, feel guilty, but won't stop. I was no prize myself during that time, I messed up a lot too
As PawgSlut pointed out too in the comment above, when the sex is beyond anything you've ever had before, it's almost impossible to let go "
Very true. Kudos to PawgSlut for hitting the nail on the head. |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
I went back to my ex twice after she left. Was pointless in end as still didn’t work out but do t regret it as got more years living with both my kids while they were still young. |
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"For actual relationships, absolutely not.
For casual things that ended for logistic reasons, absolutely happy to pick that up again when it's viable  "
Prey - I think you’ve stuck a nail in the very core of this! Couldn’t have put it better myself. You may award yourself one Kit Kat. |
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"Prey - I think you’ve stuck a nail in the very core of this! Couldn’t have put it better myself. You may award yourself one Kit Kat."
That I was only given Cadbury eggs for Easter when it turns out there were biscoff kitkat ones out there is genuine heresy. But luckily the shop over the road is selling the white biscoff kitkats still, so I will endure. |
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"100%! When the sex is amazing it's ten times harder not to go back x"
yeah this is my issue... my ex is still the best I've ever had..and not been able to ever get close to it with anyone else.. I keep saying the last time is the last time... then it happens again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went for on holiday with my ex 5 months after we split
We only booked it the week before we flew
First night was great
Second night was a disaster
That seemed to clear the air though and we did have a nice week all things considered
We did have separate beds though |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind.
What? "
Did you panic for a second.
Unless you are.........K  |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind.
What? Did you panic for a second.
Unless you are.........K "
Sorry, I'm just being mean, I don't know you. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
When I’m done I’m done & although usually stay friends it’s not always possible.
There was someone a while ago who when it ended said she was going to block me here and on WhatsApp , to stop her doing late night d*unken booty call and I was a bit upset I totally respect that she needed to so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a positive note, my Mum & Dad were married from 1959 to 1974 and again from 1985 until 2022 when Mum passed away
So, going back isn't always a bad thing  |
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"On a positive note, my Mum & Dad were married from 1959 to 1974 and again from 1985 until 2022 when Mum passed away
So, going back isn't always a bad thing "
That’s a nice story. I have a friend who is divorced and just about to move in with her school sweetheart. I’m so chuffed for her. |
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