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Narcissism
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Firstly I would appreciate that nobody judges me. This is not an easy thing to do for someone like me. I'm seeking therapy and to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis as I've recently learned that there's an almost 100% chance that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder There are various forms of narcissist, the ones who have gained the most stigma for their behavior and therefore create the most toxicity are the malignant narcissists, those who refuse to see what is wrong with them and therefore are beyond receiving help and support, and they won't change. I however, am the vulnerable type of narcissist, we suffer with anxiety, we take criticism poorly, and can lash out if we are criticised too much. We often have narcissistic meltdowns that can come from our anxiety reaching critical levels. We get very depressed when we dont receive enough positive feedback, adoration etc. I do lack empathy but not entirely, I do feel empathy for certain things, I have been crying a lot as I've been really trying to focus on my actions and how that's affected others around me, and how it's affected my life over the years. It's very hard to overcome, and I'm trying Please, take it from someone like me who very likely is a certified narcissist, please don't judge those of us who are aware of it and want to change for the better. Being stigmatized and looked down just makes us feel worse and prevents us from really trying to be better people I'm more than happy to talk about it with anyone who wants to better understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder | |||
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"No I don't.. . . . . Hang on are you on about me ?? How dare you !! I'm never speaking to you again.. .... . . . . Sorry I love you
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Asshole "All too fucking relatable  | |||
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"Yes. My mother." Snap! | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Firstly I would appreciate that nobody judges me. This is not an easy thing to do for someone like me........... I'm more than happy to talk about it with anyone who wants to better understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder" (I just cut this down for aesthetic reasons). I hope you continue and good on you for trying to improve yourself. It will be a lifetime of work and everyday struggle but you are worthy of your own love and attention. | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely " Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse | |||
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"No I don't.. . . . . Hang on are you on about me ?? How dare you !! I'm never speaking to you again.. .... . . . . Sorry I love you
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All too fucking relatable "Been there dude ... It's about knowing your own worth and I know i was tongue in cheek but its because I've been there .. You seem cool so just be you  | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Firstly I would appreciate that nobody judges me. This is not an easy thing to do for someone like me........... I'm more than happy to talk about it with anyone who wants to better understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder (I just cut this down for aesthetic reasons). I hope you continue and good on you for trying to improve yourself. It will be a lifetime of work and everyday struggle but you are worthy of your own love and attention. " Thank you I appreciate that, it will be hard but I'm a trooper and want do my best | |||
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" All too fucking relatable
Been there dude ...
It's about knowing your own worth and I know i was tongue in cheek but its because I've been there ..
You seem cool so just be you "Thanks dude, sometimes it was nice when me and my ex caught ourselves doing that, and we just laughed about it | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse" Indeed. It's over used to the point where people don't believe you when you say your mother is a narcissist and a malignant one at that. | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse Indeed. It's over used to the point where people don't believe you when you say your mother is a narcissist and a malignant one at that. " Omg I feel you. I’ve gone no contact for over 3 years now and it was the best decision I made. Slowly other people are starting to realise the truth! | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse Indeed. It's over used to the point where people don't believe you when you say your mother is a narcissist and a malignant one at that. Omg I feel you. I’ve gone no contact for over 3 years now and it was the best decision I made. Slowly other people are starting to realise the truth! " The matters needing to be communicated to my mother occur through solicitors. I've not seen her or spoken to her for about 2yrs now. | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse Indeed. It's over used to the point where people don't believe you when you say your mother is a narcissist and a malignant one at that. Omg I feel you. I’ve gone no contact for over 3 years now and it was the best decision I made. Slowly other people are starting to realise the truth! The matters needing to be communicated to my mother occur through solicitors. I've not seen her or spoken to her for about 2yrs now. " Do you feel better for it? | |||
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"Yes sadly. Quite a few on here. " A very true statement indeed. Inflated egos, body image above anything else and I know it all, I am the best, I am good at everything, anything you can do, I can do better. It's only a few though. Most people are well measured | |||
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"Not really but the first guy I lived with was a mix of all sorts of things. I do think the word narcissistic is banded around too freely Definitely. A truly toxic narcissist is a rare thing, lots of people use the term to describe someone who’s just being an arse Indeed. It's over used to the point where people don't believe you when you say your mother is a narcissist and a malignant one at that. Omg I feel you. I’ve gone no contact for over 3 years now and it was the best decision I made. Slowly other people are starting to realise the truth! The matters needing to be communicated to my mother occur through solicitors. I've not seen her or spoken to her for about 2yrs now. Do you feel better for it? " Oh yes, lots. It's just tedious that the solicitor stuff is still ongoing and I can't draw a line under that too. Her toxic presence is now risking my brother's marriage. He can see, but not act. | |||
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"No but I am a psychopath or a sociopath at least " Sociopaths are dangerous, they want to see other people suffer Psychopaths lack emotions and therefore are also capable of being dangerous as their fantasies can lead to harm to others, and they don't realize what consequences their actions bare I would suggest taking a good while reading about cluster B personality disorders and seeing if you fit the symptoms, don't self diagnose yourself with the Anti-Social Personality Disorders so quickly without really understanding them first | |||
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"No but I am a psychopath or a sociopath at least " Have you been diagnosed as its very rare | |||
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"No but I am a psychopath or a sociopath at least " You should add that to your profile. Some fucking nutter will find it a turn on. | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " I guess we all display traits across the spectrum but I guess it depends which end of the spectrum you sit at to be a true narc | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. " That is roughly narcissistic tendencies yes I'd say .. I've been there .. Glad you're feeling better about yourself now x | |||
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"No but I am a psychopath or a sociopath at least Sociopaths are dangerous, they want to see other people suffer Psychopaths lack emotions and therefore are also capable of being dangerous as their fantasies can lead to harm to others, and they don't realize what consequences their actions bare I would suggest taking a good while reading about cluster B personality disorders and seeing if you fit the symptoms, don't self diagnose yourself with the Anti-Social Personality Disorders so quickly without really understanding them first" You didn't need to tell me that I already knew you narcissist | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. " Sort of, but without knowing further details it's hard for me to give a proper opinion, there are narcissistic tendencies, regarding the arguments, a narcissist always needs to be right As for the others it's hard to say.. it sounds like there are other traits such Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but without knowing A person can have tendencies of various personality disorders but not have enough to be diagnosable | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. That is roughly narcissistic tendencies yes I'd say .. I've been there .. Glad you're feeling better about yourself now x" | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. Sort of, but without knowing further details it's hard for me to give a proper opinion, there are narcissistic tendencies, regarding the arguments, a narcissist always needs to be right As for the others it's hard to say.. it sounds like there are other traits such Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but without knowing A person can have tendencies of various personality disorders but not have enough to be diagnosable" He was definitely anti-social. Had a very small circle of friends and anyone else was an arsehole in his eyes. He didn’t like his family either. Other examples are getting d*unk beyond belief and making me drink with him, if I was tired or not in the mood he’d call me boring. Force a glass of something in my hand. Then we’d always end up fighting when I wanted to go to bed, and he’d throw me out so I slept in my car so many times. The next morning he’d be be begging me to come back in. Constant texts and calling in panic. I kept a pillow and blankets in my car the last couple of years. It was so toxic thinking back. Makes me feel on edge. | |||
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" He was definitely anti-social. Had a very small circle of friends and anyone else was an arsehole in his eyes. He didn’t like his family either. Other examples are getting d*unk beyond belief and making me drink with him, if I was tired or not in the mood he’d call me boring. Force a glass of something in my hand. Then we’d always end up fighting when I wanted to go to bed, and he’d throw me out so I slept in my car so many times. The next morning he’d be be begging me to come back in. Constant texts and calling in panic. I kept a pillow and blankets in my car the last couple of years. It was so toxic thinking back. Makes me feel on edge. " Yeah there's probably some ASPD in there Really sorry you had such a rough time but I'm happy for you for getting away from it and blossoming | |||
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"Yes. My mother." Haha, I was about to say the same (my mother, not yours, I’ve never met her - at least I don’t think so) | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. Sort of, but without knowing further details it's hard for me to give a proper opinion, there are narcissistic tendencies, regarding the arguments, a narcissist always needs to be right As for the others it's hard to say.. it sounds like there are other traits such Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but without knowing A person can have tendencies of various personality disorders but not have enough to be diagnosable He was definitely anti-social. Had a very small circle of friends and anyone else was an arsehole in his eyes. He didn’t like his family either. Other examples are getting d*unk beyond belief and making me drink with him, if I was tired or not in the mood he’d call me boring. Force a glass of something in my hand. Then we’d always end up fighting when I wanted to go to bed, and he’d throw me out so I slept in my car so many times. The next morning he’d be be begging me to come back in. Constant texts and calling in panic. I kept a pillow and blankets in my car the last couple of years. It was so toxic thinking back. Makes me feel on edge. " Wow. That sounds very controlling behaviour! | |||
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"I'm not sure I like the term personality disorder...it kinda makes me think there's something wrong with that person, a disorder.. ..my feeling is, usually its because something happened that makes them behave in certain ways, rather than they're not 'normal' ...it makes me feel that if you don't fit in societies nice neat little box then you're not accepted as being part of that society, you get shunned and classed as being disordered. " Do you have experience with people with neurodivergence? That's the sort of thing someone with experience would say. You're right, it's not a disorder, just a spectrum of personality traits, and traits that also sit on a spectrum from good to bad For me my NPD stems from childhood abuse and neglect, and my father being a narcissist and completely unaware of it | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Yes O.P. I do however they are undiagnosed by a trained medical professional. Why do you ask ? | |||
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"I'm not sure I like the term personality disorder...it kinda makes me think there's something wrong with that person, a disorder.. ..my feeling is, usually its because something happened that makes them behave in certain ways, rather than they're not 'normal' ...it makes me feel that if you don't fit in societies nice neat little box then you're not accepted as being part of that society, you get shunned and classed as being disordered. " There’s a new mental health manual just come out called the indicative trauma impact manual. A non diagnostic trauma informed guide to emotion, thought and behaviour. The basic premise is it shuns all these psychiatric disorders that have their basis in chemical imbalances and medication etc in favour of the argument that life experiences and abuse cause the symptoms in the person suffering | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. " | |||
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"Lay psychology worries me at times. From the mindless kindness through the ptsd plus the narcissistic sociopathic psychopathic labels people ascribe to others to hide the fact that they themselves might be the problem. I think God shouldn't let you read any new words for a while..... Especially if you have a tendency to self diagnose like a practising hypochondriac..... Bring back the experts! Burn self help books and audible! Disclaimer: The word 'you' in this post is a general you to society at large and not the you that may or may not be reading this. Please do not allow your paranoia to run riot as much as you'd like to." Totally agree with this ^^^ unless an actual professional diagnosis is given for any of these rather horrific and incredibly rare mental illnesses, noone should call, diagnose or self-diagnose anyone as having them! | |||
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"Lay psychology worries me at times. From the mindless kindness through the ptsd plus the narcissistic sociopathic psychopathic labels people ascribe to others to hide the fact that they themselves might be the problem. I think God shouldn't let you read any new words for a while..... Especially if you have a tendency to self diagnose like a practising hypochondriac..... Bring back the experts! Burn self help books and audible! Disclaimer: The word 'you' in this post is a general you to society at large and not the you that may or may not be reading this. Please do not allow your paranoia to run riot as much as you'd like to. Totally agree with this ^^^ unless an actual professional diagnosis is given for any of these rather horrific and incredibly rare mental illnesses, noone should call, diagnose or self-diagnose anyone as having them! " What if they’ve got two degrees in psychology and know the person they’re talking about  | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 08/04/23 08:36:23]" My paranoia says you are following me and copying me.... | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 08/04/23 08:36:23] My paranoia says you are following me and copying me.... " Hahaha  it was my imposter syndrome showing | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Firstly I would appreciate that nobody judges me. This is not an easy thing to do for someone like me. I'm seeking therapy and to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis as I've recently learned that there's an almost 100% chance that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder There are various forms of narcissist, the ones who have gained the most stigma for their behavior and therefore create the most toxicity are the malignant narcissists, those who refuse to see what is wrong with them and therefore are beyond receiving help and support, and they won't change. I however, am the vulnerable type of narcissist, we suffer with anxiety, we take criticism poorly, and can lash out if we are criticised too much. We often have narcissistic meltdowns that can come from our anxiety reaching critical levels. We get very depressed when we dont receive enough positive feedback, adoration etc. I do lack empathy but not entirely, I do feel empathy for certain things, I have been crying a lot as I've been really trying to focus on my actions and how that's affected others around me, and how it's affected my life over the years. It's very hard to overcome, and I'm trying Please, take it from someone like me who very likely is a certified narcissist, please don't judge those of us who are aware of it and want to change for the better. Being stigmatized and looked down just makes us feel worse and prevents us from really trying to be better people I'm more than happy to talk about it with anyone who wants to better understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder" Well done for accepting you & getting the Therapy needed! I won't go into the ins & outs regards to my experience. However well done you & thankyou for sharing something so very much hidden by many. Very brave!  | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 08/04/23 08:35:59]" I get what you’re saying. Masters degree. Years of working in a therapeutic environment. Not reading self help books about training dogs or making people love you. As said above, malignant narcissists rarely get an official’ diagnosis because they don’t tend to seek help or accept there’s anything wrong with them. It’s perfectly acceptable for a trained professional to make that call privately as they know what they’re talking about when they know the person in question. Narcissism is frequently used as an insult or a reaction to rejection or bad behaviour. In those cases it’s wrong, flippant and unhelpful. And ubiquitous in todays world. But that doesn’t take away the fact that there are narcissists in life, you can identify them from an informed perspective and that’s fine | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " A mentally healthy person should always exhibit a few narcissistic traits, demonstrating that they have healthy self-esteem and value themselves, but also value other people. Narcissists are damaged and have to artificially inflate their ego to feel good about themselves, but their self-esteem is wafer thin and when exposed they react extremely badly, with narcissistic rage. Malignant narcissists have to additionally damage and hurt others to feel good, albeit temporarily. The example usually cited is of Narcissus looking into a pool, and falling in love with his image that is being reflected. Everyone should be proud of their value and beauty, but not be so consumed by it that they have to put others down in order to feel good, or whose still to damage and harm others. Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin and Saddam Hussein were all malignant narcissists. Best known contemporary narcissist: Donald Trump. Narcissism is vastly on the increase in United States, where children are taught to be entitled and overvalue themselves; Donald Trump is an extreme example of an egomaniacal culture that mistakenly believes that it is special, in the world! | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Yes O.P. I do however they are undiagnosed by a trained medical professional. Why do you ask ?" I have a family member who shows all the signs and is causing much hurt and pain to those around them. Very sad to be around. | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Everybody's ex these days. Mrs | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Everybody's ex these days. Mrs " Along with psychos and sociopaths | |||
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"I would love to quote the sentences uttered at me to see if people on this thread didn't think he was a narcissist. I couldn't work out if he aspergers or NPD or both. It's something I'd really love to talk about and can't. And it makes me feel like crap. " Why can't you talk about it? Is he on Fab? | |||
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"I would love to quote the sentences uttered at me to see if people on this thread didn't think he was a narcissist. I couldn't work out if he aspergers or NPD or both. It's something I'd really love to talk about and can't. And it makes me feel like crap. " I'm happy to talk about it with you if you like, I've learned A LOT about personality disorders and neurodivergence in the last several months, especially with what I've experienced first hand | |||
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"Yes. He stole my heart, crushed it into many pieces and managed to make me feel bad for him!" Yes been here too! So clever arent they.....nasty pieces x | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? " If you’re not a trained professional you can’t determine, only guess. Either way it sounds like you’ve suffered  | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? " I think that's impossible to answer. I'm very familiar with Aspergers but it doesn't manifest itself in any way as narcissism or abuse for us. Each person is completely different, obviously..... | |||
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"with any behaviour that you feel is bad, calculated and deliberate. walk away. never look back." Exactly basically this says it all. | |||
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"I find it hard to talk about it as I'm angry at myself for tolerating things I shouldn't have and can't understand why. " Have a look at online videos by Teal Swan, Dr. Ramani and many others to build up your expertise, recognition of red flags, avoidance of rumination and moving forward into more healthy relationships | |||
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"with any behaviour that you feel is bad, calculated and deliberate. walk away. never look back." But that's so easy to say. They charm you and capture you and reel you in. It isn't easy to get away | |||
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"with any behaviour that you feel is bad, calculated and deliberate. walk away. never look back.But that's so easy to say. They charm you and capture you and reel you in. It isn't easy to get away" I can confirm that, there's a reason some people are covert and use manipulation tactics until they got you hooked in | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? " If someone is repeatedly doing/saying abusive things, I don't think it really matters what the reasons behind it are. The end result, hurt to yourself, is the same whatever the root cause. I've seen many people tolerating appalling behaviour, for years even, because they absolved the perpetrator of responsibility due to a bad childhood/depression/autism etc.... Very few individuals are actually qualified and knowledgeable enough to accurately determine these things, anyway. Spend your precious energy keeping yourself out of harm's way. Nell | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Not any more OP… thank god | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 08/04/23 22:25:11]" You don't stay because you don't want to be alone. They condition you to believe they are the best. When they are being nice they are the most charming people on the the planet. When they are beating you they lead you to believe its all your fault and if you where a better person they wouldn't do it so you try hard to please them. I don't think you understand at all | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 08/04/23 22:25:11]You don't stay because you don't want to be alone. They condition you to believe they are the best. When they are being nice they are the most charming people on the the planet. When they are beating you they lead you to believe its all your fault and if you where a better person they wouldn't do it so you try hard to please them. I don't think you understand at all" Each case Is different isn't it? Bit unfair to say I don't understand when you've no idea what I've been through or anyone else. | |||
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"Also where are you ment to leave to? When I was in such a relationship there was no place to go. He took all my money. The only refugees at the time where for women with children and I had no children" That's not my fault though is it. I don't see how is it? | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? If someone is repeatedly doing/saying abusive things, I don't think it really matters what the reasons behind it are. The end result, hurt to yourself, is the same whatever the root cause. I've seen many people tolerating appalling behaviour, for years even, because they absolved the perpetrator of responsibility due to a bad childhood/depression/autism etc.... Very few individuals are actually qualified and knowledgeable enough to accurately determine these things, anyway. Spend your precious energy keeping yourself out of harm's way. Nell" I think I spent time confused as it was quite some time before some things showed. And they didn't happen often at first. Then spent time trying to work out if it was both or one or the other. I needed them to show me things that I couldn't put down some excuse. And when they came I walked. Things always being my fault. Disrespect. Belittling. Realising their loyalties were to themselves. Effort not matched. Time not matched or respected. No empathy when I needed it the most. I was also clouded by another event that devasted me and that in itself I find hard to open about now at all. But this person had no time for that issue and that's where I'm worried the most damage has been done. | |||
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"Also where are you ment to leave to? When I was in such a relationship there was no place to go. He took all my money. The only refugees at the time where for women with children and I had no children That's not my fault though is it. I don't see how is it?" Oh the irony. | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? Firstly I would appreciate that nobody judges me. This is not an easy thing to do for someone like me. I'm seeking therapy and to see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis as I've recently learned that there's an almost 100% chance that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder There are various forms of narcissist, the ones who have gained the most stigma for their behavior and therefore create the most toxicity are the malignant narcissists, those who refuse to see what is wrong with them and therefore are beyond receiving help and support, and they won't change. I however, am the vulnerable type of narcissist, we suffer with anxiety, we take criticism poorly, and can lash out if we are criticised too much. We often have narcissistic meltdowns that can come from our anxiety reaching critical levels. We get very depressed when we dont receive enough positive feedback, adoration etc. I do lack empathy but not entirely, I do feel empathy for certain things, I have been crying a lot as I've been really trying to focus on my actions and how that's affected others around me, and how it's affected my life over the years. It's very hard to overcome, and I'm trying Please, take it from someone like me who very likely is a certified narcissist, please don't judge those of us who are aware of it and want to change for the better. Being stigmatized and looked down just makes us feel worse and prevents us from really trying to be better people I'm more than happy to talk about it with anyone who wants to better understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder" | |||
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"Also where are you ment to leave to? When I was in such a relationship there was no place to go. He took all my money. The only refugees at the time where for women with children and I had no children That's not my fault though is it. I don't see how is it?" Of cause it isn't your fault but you said just leave. So where was I supposed to go | |||
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"The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves. But in psychological terms, narcissism doesn't mean self-love—at least not of a genuine sort. It's more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. And they're in love with this inflated self-image precisely because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. But propping up their delusions of grandeur takes a lot of work—and that's where the dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors come in. Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist's life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships. People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it's causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What's more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist's life, it's often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages. However, by understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder, you can spot the narcissists in your life, protect yourself from their power plays, and establish healthier boundaries." Your last two paragraphs. Actually makes me feel a bit sick. | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. " | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? If someone is repeatedly doing/saying abusive things, I don't think it really matters what the reasons behind it are. The end result, hurt to yourself, is the same whatever the root cause. I've seen many people tolerating appalling behaviour, for years even, because they absolved the perpetrator of responsibility due to a bad childhood/depression/autism etc.... Very few individuals are actually qualified and knowledgeable enough to accurately determine these things, anyway. Spend your precious energy keeping yourself out of harm's way. Nell I think I spent time confused as it was quite some time before some things showed. And they didn't happen often at first. Then spent time trying to work out if it was both or one or the other. I needed them to show me things that I couldn't put down some excuse. And when they came I walked. Things always being my fault. Disrespect. Belittling. Realising their loyalties were to themselves. Effort not matched. Time not matched or respected. No empathy when I needed it the most. I was also clouded by another event that devasted me and that in itself I find hard to open about now at all. But this person had no time for that issue and that's where I'm worried the most damage has been done. " I'm so sorry you've been through all that x | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial." Because its just that simple isint to just terminate relationships and walk away. Wheres this idealistic world your living in? | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial." And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…?" If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way | |||
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"Narcissism seems to be the new buzzword for anyone who doesn't agree with anyone else. True narcissists are actually a rare commodity." True narcissist as well are often hiding in plain sight and extremely hard to spot for majority of humans . The generic current over used term are easy to spot it’s a behaviour issue for these ones . Having a few similar narcissistic traits (which probably half of people do at some points in their life ) are worlds apart from a full formed ultra rare narcissist . Much like comparing a full diagnosed psychopath (less than 1%) with psychopathy traits which Upto 30% of humans have according to last research studies from USA / UK in the area . | |||
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"Narcissism seems to be the new buzzword for anyone who doesn't agree with anyone else. True narcissists are actually a rare commodity. True narcissist as well are often hiding in plain sight and extremely hard to spot for majority of humans . The generic current over used term are easy to spot it’s a behaviour issue for these ones . Having a few similar narcissistic traits (which probably half of people do at some points in their life ) are worlds apart from a full formed ultra rare narcissist . Much like comparing a full diagnosed psychopath (less than 1%) with psychopathy traits which Upto 30% of humans have according to last research studies from USA / UK in the area . " You've hit the nail on the head! Having tendencies and being one of these incredibly rare and quite horrific people are two totally different things. Actually it's healthy to have a few narcissistic tendencies and most people do | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way " Lots of times, people don't GAF who they hurt. Telling someone with narcissistic traits that you don't accept their behaviour can be next to useless - the stories in this thread alone surely evidence that? What if you have children with them? | |||
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"Narcissism seems to be the new buzzword for anyone who doesn't agree with anyone else. True narcissists are actually a rare commodity. True narcissist as well are often hiding in plain sight and extremely hard to spot for majority of humans . The generic current over used term are easy to spot it’s a behaviour issue for these ones . Having a few similar narcissistic traits (which probably half of people do at some points in their life ) are worlds apart from a full formed ultra rare narcissist . Much like comparing a full diagnosed psychopath (less than 1%) with psychopathy traits which Upto 30% of humans have according to last research studies from USA / UK in the area . " theres deff more going om in the brain matter! Even more so on here via typing.
To see the thing in real time action! Is something else.
The eyes do tell much and body language,look closely at the actions!!
No wonder many hide behind the phone and keyboard!!
Its safer to play the game. From here on in 5yrs time!! Real life problems that wont be solved!!
Peace = be like water. 
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Lots of times, people don't GAF who they hurt. Telling someone with narcissistic traits that you don't accept their behaviour can be next to useless - the stories in this thread alone surely evidence that? What if you have children with them? " I told my son that he was displaying sociopathic tendencies at one point in his life ... it's the only way we know, when someone tells us. It's food for the brain ... we can choose to change them | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Lots of times, people don't GAF who they hurt. Telling someone with narcissistic traits that you don't accept their behaviour can be next to useless - the stories in this thread alone surely evidence that? What if you have children with them? I told my son that he was displaying sociopathic tendencies at one point in his life ... it's the only way we know, when someone tells us. It's food for the brain ... we can choose to change them " I disagree. Many of us are capable of recognising negative traits about ourselves. And some people have no wish to change because they won't acknowledge they're the problem. | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Lots of times, people don't GAF who they hurt. Telling someone with narcissistic traits that you don't accept their behaviour can be next to useless - the stories in this thread alone surely evidence that? What if you have children with them? I told my son that he was displaying sociopathic tendencies at one point in his life ... it's the only way we know, when someone tells us. It's food for the brain ... we can choose to change them I disagree. Many of us are capable of recognising negative traits about ourselves. And some people have no wish to change because they won't acknowledge they're the problem. " Not sure what we're disagreeing about ... we can choose to change or we can choose to stay the same. Freedom of choice | |||
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"How do you actually determine what is just plain abuse and what is narcissism when you're not a trained professional. And with someone that has aspergers for example how do tell what is aspergers and what isn't when someone with aspergers can't perhaps see beyond their own sense of self because of the way they are in their world. How do you tell what is innocently done and what isn't? If someone is repeatedly doing/saying abusive things, I don't think it really matters what the reasons behind it are. The end result, hurt to yourself, is the same whatever the root cause. I've seen many people tolerating appalling behaviour, for years even, because they absolved the perpetrator of responsibility due to a bad childhood/depression/autism etc.... Very few individuals are actually qualified and knowledgeable enough to accurately determine these things, anyway. Spend your precious energy keeping yourself out of harm's way. Nell I think I spent time confused as it was quite some time before some things showed. And they didn't happen often at first. Then spent time trying to work out if it was both or one or the other. I needed them to show me things that I couldn't put down some excuse. And when they came I walked. Things always being my fault. Disrespect. Belittling. Realising their loyalties were to themselves. Effort not matched. Time not matched or respected. No empathy when I needed it the most. I was also clouded by another event that devasted me and that in itself I find hard to open about now at all. But this person had no time for that issue and that's where I'm worried the most damage has been done. " It really sounds as though this person has done a number on you, I'm sorry to hear it. Have you tried any counselling to try and work through it? | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Lots of times, people don't GAF who they hurt. Telling someone with narcissistic traits that you don't accept their behaviour can be next to useless - the stories in this thread alone surely evidence that? What if you have children with them? I told my son that he was displaying sociopathic tendencies at one point in his life ... it's the only way we know, when someone tells us. It's food for the brain ... we can choose to change them I disagree. Many of us are capable of recognising negative traits about ourselves. And some people have no wish to change because they won't acknowledge they're the problem. " People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it's causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What's more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist's life, it's often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages. | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way " Nah, it's much safer and mentally tolerable to cut them out vimply. My mother spent 35 years making my (and other family members) lives hell. When the person she'd leeched off for decades (my Grandad) died, I no longer needed to make any pretence at tolerating her for the sake of happy families. Her behaviour around Grandad's death and subsequently has been absolutely vile and if I explain the full story to anyone, they think it's a story from a book. But it's not. And it's still ongoing and now in the hands of barristers. | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Nah, it's much safer and mentally tolerable to cut them out vimply. My mother spent 35 years making my (and other family members) lives hell. When the person she'd leeched off for decades (my Grandad) died, I no longer needed to make any pretence at tolerating her for the sake of happy families. Her behaviour around Grandad's death and subsequently has been absolutely vile and if I explain the full story to anyone, they think it's a story from a book. But it's not. And it's still ongoing and now in the hands of barristers. " Totally understand my was an actual diagnosed sociopath ... absofuckinglutely best to walk away | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Plenty of people here have that characteristics | |||
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"Ignore all the terminology and if you encounter a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, humiliated, etc.,don't try to analyse whether this person is a narcissist, is autistic, has Aspergers Syndrome, is a sociopath or psychopath. You won't be able to get them tobehave respectfully Simply terminate contact and move on to more mature relationships that are mutually beneficial. And what if that person is a family member? And there’s more than one of them…? If it's family it's a good thing just to tell them that whilst you love them you will not except their behaviour ... lots of times people don't realise that they are behaving in a certain way Nah, it's much safer and mentally tolerable to cut them out vimply. My mother spent 35 years making my (and other family members) lives hell. When the person she'd leeched off for decades (my Grandad) died, I no longer needed to make any pretence at tolerating her for the sake of happy families. Her behaviour around Grandad's death and subsequently has been absolutely vile and if I explain the full story to anyone, they think it's a story from a book. But it's not. And it's still ongoing and now in the hands of barristers. Totally understand my was an actual diagnosed sociopath ... absofuckinglutely best to walk away " Mum*  | |||
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"Lay psychology worries me at times. From the mindless kindness through the ptsd plus the narcissistic sociopathic psychopathic labels people ascribe to others to hide the fact that they themselves might be the problem. I think God shouldn't let you read any new words for a while..... Especially if you have a tendency to self diagnose like a practising hypochondriac..... Bring back the experts! Burn self help books and audible! Disclaimer: The word 'you' in this post is a general you to society at large and not the you that may or may not be reading this. Please do not allow your paranoia to run riot as much as you'd like to. Totally agree with this ^^^ unless an actual professional diagnosis is given for any of these rather horrific and incredibly rare mental illnesses, noone should call, diagnose or self-diagnose anyone as having them! What if they’ve got two degrees in psychology and know the person they’re talking about "Doesnt go for jack shit | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there "As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it. | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it."Everyone has narcissistic traits to one degree or another, even if there not aware of them Mr | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it."It's normalised in a lot of places now. And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards | |||
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"Do you know anyone who shows narcissistic tendencies? " Yes she ended up being an absolute nightmare. Stay well clear of them. Im pretty much a Narcissistic recovery coach and educator now for what I know about them. Why what's up? | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it.
It's normalised in a lot of places now.
And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards "That's not a good thing though is it? | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it.
It's normalised in a lot of places now.
And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards
That's not a good thing though is it?
"For people to have different opinions and worldviews? | |||
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"I think I did. My ex. Still not sure what it was really. But he did this like… Make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends to the point where I lost contact with them. Tell me what he thought I should wear to certain places and then tell me I looked fat in them right before we go out. Start arguments with me over simple conversations (who’s the best singer etc) and having a different opinion. I’d always end up agreeing to keep the peace. Put me down with everything I did, even cooking. I’m a great cook but it was never good enough. Simple things. Tell me to stay in bed so he could bring me breakfast, then tell me I was so lazy for not getting up. All this started after a really good first year, so by that point I loved him and I kind of got used to him. But I did reach breaking point after six years with him. Since breaking up five years ago I’ve blossomed again and I realise now how bad it was. Is that narcissism? I’m not sure what to call it. " Definitely showing the traits of a Narcissist in what you described. | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it.
It's normalised in a lot of places now.
And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards
That's not a good thing though is it?
For people to have different opinions and worldviews?"No narcissism. It's not a trait I admire. | |||
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"Most people don't really know they are narcissistic or psychopathic or even sociopathic,it's a trate that is born within you,there is no 'cure',it just is what it is,hope this helps" Narcissistic is trauma from childhood and you develop a coping mechanism as a child to deal with it. Psychopathic, your born with it and have no emotions | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it.
It's normalised in a lot of places now.
And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards
That's not a good thing though is it?
For people to have different opinions and worldviews?
No narcissism. It's not a trait I admire. "That's fine. I'm sure you have traits other people don't admire too. As long as people aren't dicks about not being into someone, it's good that people are different and like and appreciate different things | |||
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"Yup a guy I work with. How is is our southern area sales manager I still don’t understand. He has dilutions of grandeur and thinks he is the best person in the business. Has to make sure he is involved is everything just in case something good happens so he can take credit as say he was instrumental in the success. Has to be the centre of attention at all times, by either making himself heard above everyone else and make sure that everyone know “how good” he is. Can’t do anything wrong, it’s always other people’s fault in when confronted with the evidence and proof of his errors, still denying and always tries to divert the blame onto others. He doesn’t like to be criticised and always tries to divert away from his mistakes. A total lack of empathy for others and how the are feeling/doing and any success they have achieved. Because he is “that good” he believes that he should have special treatment from everyone within the business and the rules don’t apply to him. His relationship in the business with most is very strained if any at all in a lot of cases and really only associates himself with people whom he believes are on the same level as him, everyone else is jut dirt on the bottom of his show and he ignores." They are like social chameleons and change for their surroundings so they can get their ego boosted and admired so they dont hit rock bottom. They need admiration from their supply so their self esteem and fascade doesn't show. If you suspect a Narcissist then it's really easy to spot one......just say NO to their face and watch the fireworks go off. | |||
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"Most people don't really know they are narcissistic or psychopathic or even sociopathic,it's a trate that is born within you,there is no 'cure',it just is what it is,hope this helps Narcissistic is trauma from childhood and you develop a coping mechanism as a child to deal with it. Psychopathic, your born with it and have no emotions" Narcissists crave validation, are typically attracted to expensive brands that project success, e.g. apple, BMW. Doing selfies is also considered a narcissistic trait. | |||
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"I like a little narcissism here and there
As I said, its normalised here. A lot of questionable characteristics are. Maybe Swingers are people of questionable morals? I know I am and I can admit it.
It's normalised in a lot of places now.
And obviously people into non monogamy are of questionable morals by the cultural standards
That's not a good thing though is it?
For people to have different opinions and worldviews?
No narcissism. It's not a trait I admire.
That's fine. I'm sure you have traits other people don't admire too.
As long as people aren't dicks about not being into someone, it's good that people are different and like and appreciate different things "Starting to see a lot of people put 'Quality over quantity' type comments, which I think is a shit thing to say to someone. I know I have more money then some people, I know I have better genes then some people yet I don't need to be a dick about it. | |||
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"Most people don't really know they are narcissistic or psychopathic or even sociopathic,it's a trate that is born within you,there is no 'cure',it just is what it is,hope this helps Narcissistic is trauma from childhood and you develop a coping mechanism as a child to deal with it. Psychopathic, your born with it and have no emotions" Apparently most CEO's/MP's are psychopaths, which is quite worrying but also explains a lot of things. | |||
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"Yes, my Ex Wife. I think it's more prevalent in a lot more people than we like to think in different degrees (and thus differing levels of harm). It's not a desirable trait but we are all human and many people (often overall decent) have some undesirable traits. And often these traits have origins in something why may be sympathetic to. Often narcissists come from a place of deep subconscious insecurity. It's good that people talk about this and open up to it more. Break down stigmas and understand this more. Firstly to help people to avoid suffering from the effects of being with a narcissist (or to avoid them all together). An unfortunate boat I've experience in my previous marriage. But also to help those are to some degree narcissist understand themselves and to hopefully get work on self improvement. Openness and taking on this subject is very important to improving life for people on both sides of the coin. This by no means is a justification or excuse for bad behaviour or manipulation because all bad behaviour and manipulation should not be tolleratated where ever its origins may lie. Mr" They manipulate, gas light,blatantly lie to your face or say they don't remember. Their condition comes from Trauma in a child. It's a coping mechanism that's been developed from being a young child. | |||
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"Starting to see a lot of people put 'Quality over quantity' type comments, which I think is a shit thing to say to someone. I know I have more money then some people, I know I have better genes then some people yet I don't need to be a dick about it. " It's unfortunate you have such a negative feeling for a simple statement that is not necessarily intended to make anyone feel lesser for reading it. Personally I use it because I'm happy with my partners and would rather enjoy more time with them than find more varied things I'm unlikely to enjoy to the same degree. Yet outright saying you're better in some ways is totally acceptable. The human brain is a marvel sometimes | |||
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"Starting to see a lot of people put 'Quality over quantity' type comments, which I think is a shit thing to say to someone. I know I have more money then some people, I know I have better genes then some people yet I don't need to be a dick about it. It's unfortunate you have such a negative feeling for a simple statement that is not necessarily intended to make anyone feel lesser for reading it. Personally I use it because I'm happy with my partners and would rather enjoy more time with them than find more varied things I'm unlikely to enjoy to the same degree. Yet outright saying you're better in some ways is totally acceptable. The human brain is a marvel sometimes "LOL negative feeling? Have you heard yourself or read that back, you sound ridicules! Pray tell what marks you so superior then us lesser beings, a title, coat of arms, money, a 6 pack? There is never a reason to says person is inferior. Maybe this is a defensive response from that trauma, you know, narcissism. | |||
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"Starting to see a lot of people put 'Quality over quantity' type comments, which I think is a shit thing to say to someone. I know I have more money then some people, I know I have better genes then some people yet I don't need to be a dick about it. It's unfortunate you have such a negative feeling for a simple statement that is not necessarily intended to make anyone feel lesser for reading it. Personally I use it because I'm happy with my partners and would rather enjoy more time with them than find more varied things I'm unlikely to enjoy to the same degree. Yet outright saying you're better in some ways is totally acceptable. The human brain is a marvel sometimes
LOL negative feeling? Have you heard yourself or read that back, you sound ridicules! Pray tell what marks you so superior then us lesser beings, a title, coat of arms, money, a 6 pack?
There is never a reason to says person is inferior. Maybe this is a defensive response from that trauma, you know, narcissism. "Quality over quantity is not meant as an insult or way of belittle people when put as a general comment. Perhaps if said directly and pointedly to someone's face as a form of rejection it would be reasonable to take it that way. But I beleive most people would rather only deal with the most appropriate and compatible options for their own tastes and wants over just fucking everything for the sake of it. The point I was making was that you yourself declared yourself genetically better off than others. You used your wealth as a marker of value to put yourself above others. | |||
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"Starting to see a lot of people put 'Quality over quantity' type comments, which I think is a shit thing to say to someone. I know I have more money then some people, I know I have better genes then some people yet I don't need to be a dick about it. It's unfortunate you have such a negative feeling for a simple statement that is not necessarily intended to make anyone feel lesser for reading it. Personally I use it because I'm happy with my partners and would rather enjoy more time with them than find more varied things I'm unlikely to enjoy to the same degree. Yet outright saying you're better in some ways is totally acceptable. The human brain is a marvel sometimes
LOL negative feeling? Have you heard yourself or read that back, you sound ridicules! Pray tell what marks you so superior then us lesser beings, a title, coat of arms, money, a 6 pack?
There is never a reason to says person is inferior. Maybe this is a defensive response from that trauma, you know, narcissism.
Quality over quantity is not meant as an insult or way of belittle people when put as a general comment. Perhaps if said directly and pointedly to someone's face as a form of rejection it would be reasonable to take it that way.
But I beleive most people would rather only deal with the most appropriate and compatible options for their own tastes and wants over just fucking everything for the sake of it.
The point I was making was that you yourself declared yourself genetically better off than others. You used your wealth as a marker of value to put yourself above others."Ok, would you ever walk over to someone say in a club, and say quality over quantity (and not feel stupid?) I used money as an example as that's what most people associate with 'Quality'. Personally I resent the need for money due to others demanding it of me. Its like having an addiction forced on you. I need money yes but I have no interest in it. I know I have more then some people and better genes as other will have more money and better genes. I just simply say no thanks. Saying Quality over quantity (lots do it here) just makes you look like a narcissistic arsehole. | |||
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"Ok, would you ever walk over to someone say in a club, and say quality over quantity (and not feel stupid?) I used money as an example as that's what most people associate with 'Quality'. Personally I resent the need for money due to others demanding it of me. Its like having an addiction forced on you. I need money yes but I have no interest in it. I know I have more then some people and better genes as other will have more money and better genes. I just simply say no thanks. Saying Quality over quantity (lots do it here) just makes you look like a narcissistic arsehole." Depends entirely on context. In general I keep to a simple no thanks in direct conversation with someone interested. It would seem a deliberate and pointed comment done directly. But as a general statement not aimed at a particular individual I see no problem with it. The qualities I desire are not the qualities you desire are not the qualities that guy over there desires. But the ones I desire are the ones that matter to me. Someone whose qualities lie elsewhere is simply incompatible with me, but no doubt compatible with others. I was just intrigued by the use of better from yourself. I'm lucky to have been born with some commonly desired genetics, but I've never claimed my genes are 'better' than anyone else's. Comparison is the thief of joy after all | |||
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"Ok, would you ever walk over to someone say in a club, and say quality over quantity (and not feel stupid?) I used money as an example as that's what most people associate with 'Quality'. Personally I resent the need for money due to others demanding it of me. Its like having an addiction forced on you. I need money yes but I have no interest in it. I know I have more then some people and better genes as other will have more money and better genes. I just simply say no thanks. Saying Quality over quantity (lots do it here) just makes you look like a narcissistic arsehole. Depends entirely on context. In general I keep to a simple no thanks in direct conversation with someone interested. It would seem a deliberate and pointed comment done directly. But as a general statement not aimed at a particular individual I see no problem with it. The qualities I desire are not the qualities you desire are not the qualities that guy over there desires. But the ones I desire are the ones that matter to me. Someone whose qualities lie elsewhere is simply incompatible with me, but no doubt compatible with others. I was just intrigued by the use of better from yourself. I'm lucky to have been born with some commonly desired genetics, but I've never claimed my genes are 'better' than anyone else's. Comparison is the thief of joy after all "Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. " Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia "I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"? | |||
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"Ok, would you ever walk over to someone say in a club, and say quality over quantity (and not feel stupid?) I used money as an example as that's what most people associate with 'Quality'. Personally I resent the need for money due to others demanding it of me. Its like having an addiction forced on you. I need money yes but I have no interest in it. I know I have more then some people and better genes as other will have more money and better genes. I just simply say no thanks. Saying Quality over quantity (lots do it here) just makes you look like a narcissistic arsehole. Depends entirely on context. In general I keep to a simple no thanks in direct conversation with someone interested. It would seem a deliberate and pointed comment done directly. But as a general statement not aimed at a particular individual I see no problem with it. The qualities I desire are not the qualities you desire are not the qualities that guy over there desires. But the ones I desire are the ones that matter to me. Someone whose qualities lie elsewhere is simply incompatible with me, but no doubt compatible with others. I was just intrigued by the use of better from yourself. I'm lucky to have been born with some commonly desired genetics, but I've never claimed my genes are 'better' than anyone else's. Comparison is the thief of joy after all
Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm.
"So you'd pick quantity over quality? | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"? "Ditto. | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"? "I think it often comes across as a way of saying 'I'm not like those other folks who would just fuck anyone ' | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia "I think saying anything over something else is something that should not be normalised or accepted. Imagine replacing quality with the word "white" and quality with the word "black". 50-200 years ago, it was acceptable became it was normalised and I doubt many people here would have turned against the mainstream narrative and called it out, anymore then they would like calling out narcissism now. | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"? "Maybe that's why the world is such a mess, such attitudes. | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"?
Maybe that's why the world is such a mess, such attitudes. "Oh. Right. I'm sure that's why.  | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"?
I think it often comes across as a way of saying 'I'm not like those other folks who would just fuck anyone '"Then 10 minutes later they use an anonymous gloryhole table! | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I think saying anything over something else is something that should not be normalised or accepted. Imagine replacing quality with the word "white" and quality with the word "black". 50-200 years ago, it was acceptable became it was normalised and I doubt many people here would have turned against the mainstream narrative and called it out, anymore then they would like calling out narcissism now."Except people are calling it out. And then some of those same people are saying their genes are better than other people. That's where I get really lost. But, for me, after most of my life being cowed and demure and putting myself down to soothe other people's egos, I'm happy to embrace some pride and self care and only wanting to deal with the things that bring my own soul some joy. Personally. And I think that that's a wonderful thing in moderation, even if it is considered narcissism | |||
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"I fell in love with one " This x | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"?
Ditto."Ok lets put this into context Its no different to putting "no poor people, rich only". "no northerners, southerners only" Most people would rightly assume I was an arsehole for putting such a statment. Yet "good looking people only" "quality over quantity" isn't seen as such? | |||
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"Just seems a very shallow and narcissistic statement thats been normalised. When enough people do something and don't question it, it becomes the norm. Is it though? I still don't see why it's taken so personally when said as a general rather than a direct comment as part of a rejection. Perhaps if more people took that approach to believing that their genes were better or worse than others instead of letting that become the accepted norm we could have skipped all that monarchy and racism nonsense over the millenia
I think saying anything over something else is something that should not be normalised or accepted. Imagine replacing quality with the word "white" and quality with the word "black". 50-200 years ago, it was acceptable became it was normalised and I doubt many people here would have turned against the mainstream narrative and called it out, anymore then they would like calling out narcissism now.
Except people are calling it out.
And then some of those same people are saying their genes are better than other people.
That's where I get really lost.
But, for me, after most of my life being cowed and demure and putting myself down to soothe other people's egos, I'm happy to embrace some pride and self care and only wanting to deal with the things that bring my own soul some joy. Personally. And I think that that's a wonderful thing in moderation, even if it is considered narcissism "Ok, sounds like you were bulled by narcissists? And sadly sounds like you have turned into what they were? | |||
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"I'm struggling to see the problem with "quality over quantity"? Ditto. Ok lets put this into context Its no different to putting "no poor people, rich only". "no northerners, southerners only" Most people would rightly assume I was an arsehole for putting such a statment. Yet "good looking people only" "quality over quantity" isn't seen as such?" I mean, it's very different. If you define quality as meaning rich, Southern and attractive people only, that's a matter for your own perception. When I say quality over quantity, I simply mean I'd rather have one person that actually excites me over having 83 willing penises that don't. At no point is it a matter of status or wealth or genetics for me. If you're interpreting it as that, that's on you | |||
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"Ok, sounds like you were bulled by narcissists? And sadly sounds like you have turned into what they were?" I certainly don't consider it sad. I still have empathy and conscience and a strong sense of my own morality. I just get to appreciate myself a lot more than I used to | |||
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