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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah cos I felt after a few meets we get on "too well" and would want more. I know folk have found relationships on here, but I don't "do" relationships, mainly cos I'm very hard work and high maintenance so wouldn't inflict myself on anyone  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With the high risk of making myself look real bad here,i will be honest if nothing else, i have had in the last year three, leave you scratching your head type meets.
Couple wanted a gb, i got the guys, they said it was perfect, luvved it etc, woosh, gone from site very next day?
Did likewise recently same type of thing, and the most painfull one was, introducing a mutual friend to a lady i myself hoped to see regularly, only to be leaft sitting on my hands, watching the messages cease, the msn hidden, and the facebook comments stop and be directed only to him,and because i dared ask why that was happening, i was leaft even more out in the cold.
Im a swinger essentially, i totally get we pick and choose who and what we like/prefer, but i think theres better ways of making it known when we dont. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess dealing with human nature and such an intimate act of getting your kit off and getting up close and personal is going to have an effect on people's emotions.
Who knows what 'domestics' go on after you leave a meet.
It may also mean the person you played with hasn't really wrapped their head around nsa sex?
I guess the key is to not take it personally. Like you say, unless they tell you what went wrong or changed their mind about the meet, you will never know the true reasons.
Human emotions are a weird thing, I wouldn't worry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With the high risk of making myself look real bad here,i will be honest if nothing else, i have had in the last year three, leave you scratching your head type meets.
Couple wanted a gb, i got the guys, they said it was perfect, luvved it etc, woosh, gone from site very next day?
Did likewise recently same type of thing, and the most painfull one was, introducing a mutual friend to a lady i myself hoped to see regularly, only to be leaft sitting on my hands, watching the messages cease, the msn hidden, and the facebook comments stop and be directed only to him,and because i dared ask why that was happening, i was leaft even more out in the cold.
Im a swinger essentially, i totally get we pick and choose who and what we like/prefer, but i think theres better ways of making it known when we dont."
Welcome to my world only give it a few months and some of them they come a knocking then I feel worse cause its then like oh what no one else is interested now so I suddenly become the bottom of the barrel lol
That's why I've gave up on fab not because I want more than NSA because that's all I wanted but because I want NSA with regular guys not every Tom dock and harry because yes I do need some sort of familiarity and trust to be able to really let myself go and have great sex otherwise no matter how much you give me I'm never satisfied and left wanting more because in my head I just can't relax enough to make it count many people will be sitting reading this like wtf but for me half the pleasure is in my head !!! The joys of being an intellect I swear sometimes I wish I'd never studied psychology lol
I personally would rather go without than feel this way so that's exactly what I'm doing last year has defo been the driest year for sex ever !!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess dealing with human nature and such an intimate act of getting your kit off and getting up close and personal is going to have an effect on people's emotions.
Who knows what 'domestics' go on after you leave a meet.
It may also mean the person you played with hasn't really wrapped their head around nsa sex?
I guess the key is to not take it personally. Like you say, unless they tell you what went wrong or changed their mind about the meet, you will never know the true reasons.
Human emotions are a weird thing, I wouldn't worry."
Thank you, im tired, if that makes sense, tired of the manic highs that comes with a new exciting meet then leaft out in the cold. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess dealing with human nature and such an intimate act of getting your kit off and getting up close and personal is going to have an effect on people's emotions.
Who knows what 'domestics' go on after you leave a meet.
It may also mean the person you played with hasn't really wrapped their head around nsa sex?
I guess the key is to not take it personally. Like you say, unless they tell you what went wrong or changed their mind about the meet, you will never know the true reasons.
Human emotions are a weird thing, I wouldn't worry.
Thank you, im tired, if that makes sense, tired of the manic highs that comes with a new exciting meet then leaft out in the cold."
You have to get your head around being invited in as the third person means that you may only be needed as a cock, and friendship/future dialogue is not required. Some swinging couples like to move on to pastures new after a meet as their over-riding desire is to experience sex with new people. As you progress in swinging you'll find people at the other end of the spectrum who require friendship and regularity to enjoy their experiences with additional lovers in their relationship.
For me, swinging is a mix of the two: some playmates for sex only, and others for frienship as well as sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After I have made it clear that I would agree to meet again, if the messages dry up, then I would take it as a hint that I am no longer wanted, and move on.
 |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
There is a guy I know who arranges small gangbangs and I used to be invited to them regularly. We got on well (so I thought) and everything was good. Then the invitations dried up, which was a concern but as I was going to my local club by then not too worrying. I just assumed that he had found another 'favourite' (I found out later that he was notorious for this sort of thing).
What does bug me is that he has got in touch since, asking me to attend GBs with very little notice, and when I have to say no I don't hear from him for months. I have a sneaky suspicion that I am his 'last resort' woman, when he can't get any others from his 'stable' to attend.
Its a shame when you are the one cast aside when others are having fun but on here its a fact of life. Just don't stay at home pining - go out and have more fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After I have made it clear that I would agree to meet again, if the messages dry up, then I would take it as a hint that I am no longer wanted, and move on.
"
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After I have made it clear that I would agree to meet again, if the messages dry up, then I would take it as a hint that I am no longer wanted, and move on.
+1"
Thats a rock and a hard place kinda thing for we guys, if you keep in touch, message rugularly, does'nt take much for folks to decide the messages are too many. If you try to limit them, theres a high risk its classed as "messages drying up". |
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for."
This thread is fascinating me so far. I've not said that about a thread before.
I feel the same as the above poster that clearly there is more being sought than NO STRINGS sex by a few respondents here.
Having sex shouldn't leave anyone feeling emotionally tied to others nor feel that others are obliged to keep in touch and repeat.
I'd prefer a friend over a fuck any moment of the day any day of the week but I didn't sign up for friends and as i'm pretty choosy who I call 'friend' things don't advance beyond people being a number in my phone for those times that I want them. That's all I want to be on their phone too.
Having someone get emotionally attached and needy after one or a couple of meets would send out loud warning signals to me. I'd back right off.
If someone doesn't contact me for a while I don't take it personally and feel rejection.
O.P. in the nicest possible way you need to look at what you think of yourself instead of second guessing what insignificant others think of you.
x Gran x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for."
Nope, im having trouble with the, "we gotta do that again, got to meet up again and soon, got to,,,,cant wait to,,etc" call me old fashioned but i'd prefer it folks never said that if indeed theres no intention to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for.
Nope, im having trouble with the, "we gotta do that again, got to meet up again and soon, got to,,,,cant wait to,,etc" call me old fashioned but i'd prefer it folks never said that if indeed theres no intention to do that."
ok so just take it as it comes, if they want to meet you again they will and you will, so see it as just one night nsa anything else is a bonus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for.
Nope, im having trouble with the, "we gotta do that again, got to meet up again and soon, got to,,,,cant wait to,,etc" call me old fashioned but i'd prefer it folks never said that if indeed theres no intention to do that."
maybe there was at the time, maybe there wasnt, the moment you start to think that they are obliged to back it up no matter what circumstances change, or even justify the change of mind to you, you are attaching strings and investing in something that will only ever leave you in a cold place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forget blocked,, or message deleted, anyone else ever had a fun meet, felt sure everyone enjoyed,only to then be avoided,shunned ever since?
 "
i do it all the time, i dont really do repeat meets, i prefer one offs, so even if the meet does go well and we got along i avoid contact with them after
I cant see the point in carrying on talking to men i have met that i have no intentions of meeting again, not because im rude but because i feel it would send out the wrong message and they would think i was wanting to meet again
to me no strings is just that, meet and move on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for.
Nope, im having trouble with the, "we gotta do that again, got to meet up again and soon, got to,,,,cant wait to,,etc" call me old fashioned but i'd prefer it folks never said that if indeed theres no intention to do that.
ok so just take it as it comes, if they want to meet you again they will and you will, so see it as just one night nsa anything else is a bonus!"
Thank you i do generally,was as i said a heart on sleeve share of current mood with a high risk of folks reading it,seeing it many ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for.
This thread is fascinating me so far. I've not said that about a thread before.
I feel the same as the above poster that clearly there is more being sought than NO STRINGS sex by a few respondents here.
Having sex shouldn't leave anyone feeling emotionally tied to others nor feel that others are obliged to keep in touch and repeat.
I'd prefer a friend over a fuck any moment of the day any day of the week but I didn't sign up for friends and as i'm pretty choosy who I call 'friend' things don't advance beyond people being a number in my phone for those times that I want them. That's all I want to be on their phone too.
Having someone get emotionally attached and needy after one or a couple of meets would send out loud warning signals to me. I'd back right off.
If someone doesn't contact me for a while I don't take it personally and feel rejection.
O.P. in the nicest possible way you need to look at what you think of yourself instead of second guessing what insignificant others think of you.
x Gran x "
Spot on Granny!
The mere mention of bookface in the OP's origiginal post indicates to me that there's an intention for some kind of 'permanent relationship' - be that fun, frieends or more.
If one party is just looking for fun and the other feels differently - there's a huge can of worms brewing and it's often the case that some will block, ignore or shun contact rather than bite the bullet and come clean.
It's one of the reasons i'm openly blunt with all I meet that even if repeat meets are likely, it's still nothing more than fun - even if I class them as 'Fab friends'.
Honesty and openness are essential if you're not going to mess with peoples emotions and heads. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just seems that the OP is having trouble with the "no strings" part of the no strings attached sex he signed up for.
This thread is fascinating me so far. I've not said that about a thread before.
I feel the same as the above poster that clearly there is more being sought than NO STRINGS sex by a few respondents here.
Having sex shouldn't leave anyone feeling emotionally tied to others nor feel that others are obliged to keep in touch and repeat.
I'd prefer a friend over a fuck any moment of the day any day of the week but I didn't sign up for friends and as i'm pretty choosy who I call 'friend' things don't advance beyond people being a number in my phone for those times that I want them. That's all I want to be on their phone too.
Having someone get emotionally attached and needy after one or a couple of meets would send out loud warning signals to me. I'd back right off.
If someone doesn't contact me for a while I don't take it personally and feel rejection.
O.P. in the nicest possible way you need to look at what you think of yourself instead of second guessing what insignificant others think of you.
x Gran x
Spot on Granny!
The mere mention of bookface in the OP's origiginal post indicates to me that there's an intention for some kind of 'permanent relationship' - be that fun, frieends or more.
If one party is just looking for fun and the other feels differently - there's a huge can of worms brewing and it's often the case that some will block, ignore or shun contact rather than bite the bullet and come clean.
It's one of the reasons i'm openly blunt with all I meet that even if repeat meets are likely, it's still nothing more than fun - even if I class them as 'Fab friends'.
Honesty and openness are essential if you're not going to mess with peoples emotions and heads."
Thanks again, but for making the point readable i have summarised it, glossed over specifics etc, have been playing for over ten years and every so often the most experienced folks even have little, oops well thats a new one on me type of occurance, i get the no-strings thing, i myself dont go along with the attitude that if messages lessen i ignore the contact, i never close doors on fellow fun people. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I won't comment on this thread, you know my opinion as we have spoken many times on the subject
it is no strings sex to many
it is sex with friendship to many
it is sexual fantasy and then off they go
and for some, it is a ride on the back of someone else's popularity and kindness, the second someone offers more..... whooshhhhhhhhh. ( and nothing wrong with that either ). With 10 years under your belt, you know it. |
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For me its a friendship with sex. Im rearly nice to guys and im looking have always been wonderfu;. I like repeat minutes if get on real but u cant alwas do that to distnace. I love on some as would my vanila friend apart from the sex bit,i care about some lots but im (or hope) that when im being cause like to be nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forget blocked,, or message deleted, anyone else ever had a fun meet, felt sure everyone enjoyed,only to then be avoided,shunned ever since?
"
well swinging can make you feel used and should be give and take maybe but not always..... But for some its sex nothing more and there needs so will just move on TO NEXT... for some thats how thay play as its a candy shop here pick and mix and most looking for next SEX fit bit like a drug some need to get there high and no stings no feelings just pure sex new faces do that .. and no risks of ever getting close ,So You move on and if alone the way you make friends all well and good ... but some dont ever wish there play mates to be friends ever. Its vanilla for friend swinging is sex. Its rear you make alot of close friends you know for years you fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forget blocked,, or message deleted, anyone else ever had a fun meet, felt sure everyone enjoyed,only to then be avoided,shunned ever since?
well swinging can make you feel used and should be give and take maybe but not always..... But for some its sex nothing more and there needs so will just move on TO NEXT... for some thats how thay play as its a candy shop here pick and mix and most looking for next SEX fit bit like a drug some need to get there high and no stings no feelings just pure sex new faces do that .. and no risks of ever getting close ,So You move on and if alone the way you make friends all well and good ... but some dont ever wish there play mates to be friends ever. Its vanilla for friend swinging is sex. Its rear you make alot of close friends you know for years you fuck."
Thats Fix , lol I have known people years from swinging and thay come and go ... because we have alot going on in normal life too , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op I feel for u! I put my swinging on the back boiler after meeting a single guy which I continued to see for 18 months! After a silly misunderstanding which I won't go into here he didnt turn up this week and then text me to say it was over he won't even speak to me. Even though it was NSA he wanted me for himself and I allowed it, mostly.
Am still shocked by the fact he find have the balls to ring me or tell me to my face  and i wil say now it hurt like hell |
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