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Name something a man can do that a woman can't
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"Create smells that could kill fields of wild flowers, penetrate walls and cling to carpets."
Err. Disagree.
My ex could have made Hitlers job a lot easier in the concentration camps.
Men are not the only species capable of or fixing noxious and foul odours from their delicate hoops.
I was once woken choking in a tent Ona camping trip which my ex found childishly hilarious.
I however did not see the humour of her complete childishness, especially as my retorts (no pun intended) failed to have the same effect on her even when I covered her head with the duvet…. |
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"Listen to every word of a conversation and still not know what it was about. "
Disagree again
As Lee Evans explained in one of his amazing dvds men do indeed have little listening goblins with a freshly licked pencil tip and sheets of paper.
It all depends on what the afore mentioned women is whittering about that we choose to have it take notes.  |
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"explain football
*The offside rule "
A player will deemed to be offside when various refereeing personnel without an ounce of common sense make decisions based on children choosing their favourite coloured juice cups. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"explain football
*The offside rule
A player will deemed to be offside when various refereeing personnel without an ounce of common sense make decisions based on children choosing their favourite coloured juice cups. "
Yeah since VAR, that sounds about right  |
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"Annoy a woman without even being in the same postal code.
You guys do excel at this. "
We most certainly do.
And we breathe too.
We really are an insidious bunch of miscreants with the certain and soul meaning in life to upset the delicate countenance of the faith sex.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Annoy a woman without even being in the same postal code.
You guys do excel at this.
We most certainly do.
And we breathe too.
We really are an insidious bunch of miscreants with the certain and soul meaning in life to upset the delicate countenance of the faith sex. "
Oh my god do not get me started on the breathing!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Annoy a woman without even being in the same postal code.
You guys do excel at this.
We most certainly do.
And we breathe too.
We really are an insidious bunch of miscreants with the certain and soul meaning in life to upset the delicate countenance of the faith sex.
Oh my god do not get me started on the breathing!!! "
Breathing heavily, whilst snoring as well |
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"Annoy a woman without even being in the same postal code.
You guys do excel at this.
We most certainly do.
And we breathe too.
We really are an insidious bunch of miscreants with the certain and soul meaning in life to upset the delicate countenance of the faith sex.
Oh my god do not get me started on the breathing!!! "
On behalf of all mankind I apologise to the fairer sex and vow further to offer a heartfelt apology to all those lovely trees out there pumping out oxygen that waste on frivolities like life…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sit in total silence doing absolutely fuck all and actually mean it when they say they're "fine"...."
Oh..ya .. forgot about that one ...women always say their " fine " when it's plain to see they're not . they're real experts at that one ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I have my mind on going to a shop for something, I go straight to that shop, buy it and come straight back home.
I find a woman needs to look in every shop on the way there and have a coffee break inbetween. Then get on the phone and tell her friend how its going. Its like a full days work.
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"Um..? take 40 mins 2/3 times a day to take a shit at "convenient" times 
If a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing well.
Tsssk at your impatience… "
"can you put the bins out?"
"Gotta go shit"
Funny that .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They are bad at reversing a car. I gave an old man a lift once and we were travelling through the countryside down a narrow lane when I came face to face with a female driver.
The old guy yelled at me
" BE CAREFUL IS A WOMAN! "
made me laugh |
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"Um..? take 40 mins 2/3 times a day to take a shit at "convenient" times
If a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing well.
Tsssk at your impatience… "can you put the bins out?"
"Gotta go shit"
Funny that .... "
Can I put the bins out?
Yes I “can”.
Will I put the bins out is a totally different question…
I feel the biological urge to defecate ensuing swiftly…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Create smells that could kill fields of wild flowers, penetrate walls and cling to carpets.
Err. Disagree.
My ex could have made Hitlers job a lot easier in the concentration camps.
Men are not the only species capable of or fixing noxious and foul odours from their delicate hoops.
I was once woken choking in a tent Ona camping trip which my ex found childishly hilarious.
I however did not see the humour of her complete childishness, especially as my retorts (no pun intended) failed to have the same effect on her even when I covered her head with the duvet…."
Did the Gary Lineker affair not teach, we mustn't compare things to that period in history |
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