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Ask me anything
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Jennie the all knowing, the Omniscient Oracle is once again luxuriating in her bath of encyclopaedic knowledge.
So ask, my disciples, ask and you shall be enlightened.
All the answers are here! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie when you’re being my cheerleader can you wear that really short skirt and have some mahoosive Pom-Poms? Please  "
Littlebird _ittlebird rah rah rah. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Who would win in a fight between an average grown man (5'11, around 180lbs) and 50 eight-year-olds?"
If the 8 year olds are from Aldershot, the man ain't got a cat in hells chance |
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"Where have you hidden that rubber ducky this time Jennie....
In my knickers.
You want to come and get it?"
Yeah I'll put my hand up your bloomers for a rummage, I might find that watch I lost last time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie, I have no questions for you today. But just wanted to say that you are beautiful and magnificent  "
My omniscient senses confirm this is indeed the case.
Well done.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh magnificent one, what do I do when my online food shop delivery man comes and winks at me? He's been doing it the past few times and is fucking gorgeous
He unloads, smiles and winks when he says bye and giggle like a tart! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I ask my real question now please Jennie oh wise one?
If I’m having the Big O later this week do I have to sing Pretty Woman or Only the Lonely  "
Neither.
Sing either 'Man Eater' (Hall & Oats) or 'Sex Bomb' (Tom Jones vesion. Then once the afterglow has faded 'Get the fuck out' (Skid Row) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh magnificent one, what do I do when my online food shop delivery man comes and winks at me? He's been doing it the past few times and is fucking gorgeous
He unloads, smiles and winks when he says bye and giggle like a tart!"
Once he has unloaded, wipe your chin and say thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie. I’m only 28 but the constant back pain and sore joints are happening already. Is that it now?. Is it all down hill from here?. "
You know the damage is irrecoverable when you look at beige cardigans and think "ooooh that's nice" |
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"Can I ask my real question now please Jennie oh wise one?
If I’m having the Big O later this week do I have to sing Pretty Woman or Only the Lonely
Neither.
Sing either 'Man Eater' (Hall & Oats) or 'Sex Bomb' (Tom Jones vesion. Then once the afterglow has faded 'Get the fuck out' (Skid Row)"
I’m on it 
Thanks beauts  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie I like to ask whats been one of your favourite forum posts? "
Almost anything by Granny Crumpet.
There was also a brilliant one not so long ago about TVs in your bedroom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jennie. I’m only 28 but the constant back pain and sore joints are happening already. Is that it now?. Is it all down hill from here?.
You know the damage is irrecoverable when you look at beige cardigans and think "ooooh that's nice""
Fuckkkkkkk  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie. I’m only 28 but the constant back pain and sore joints are happening already. Is that it now?. Is it all down hill from here?.
You know the damage is irrecoverable when you look at beige cardigans and think "ooooh that's nice"
Fuckkkkkkk "
Uh oh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie, what is the cause of human suffering?
Rocket.
And goats cheese.
Helped along by hard boiled eggs
What if the rocket and goats cheese is on a pizza with figs and balsamic vinegar?  "
Then humanity is doomed and the 4 dark riders head off to the tack room |
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"Jennie, what is the cause of human suffering?
Rocket.
And goats cheese.
Helped along by hard boiled eggs
What if the rocket and goats cheese is on a pizza with figs and balsamic vinegar?
Then humanity is doomed and the 4 dark riders head off to the tack room"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why did I get offended when being referred to as "what I should have been fucking"?"
Because that ignores the beautiful human qualities you have and reduces you to just an object of sexual entitlement.
.
.
(FAF?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh magnificent one, what do I do when my online food shop delivery man comes and winks at me? He's been doing it the past few times and is fucking gorgeous
He unloads, smiles and winks when he says bye and giggle like a tart!
Once he has unloaded, wipe your chin and say thankyou."
Haha he did it again and said have a great night....I hope he's not on here hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear all knowing Oracle  could you help me understand this canundrum?
How is a baby 9months old in the womb, but when they are born in resets?  "
Because of Dr Trimester's rule of baby aging.
I thought everyone knew that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important  "
Ah ... it was delayed in delivery due to congestion in the omniscience currents.
In answer to your question....
.
.
.
Malted Milk Biscuits are the superior type. Highly evolved and top of the food chain. |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Dear all knowing Oracle could you help me understand this canundrum?
How is a baby 9months old in the womb, but when they are born in resets?
Because of Dr Trimester's rule of baby aging.
I thought everyone knew that?"
I was ‘today years old’ when I learnt this lol
U truly are wise Oracle, you have my gratitude |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her 
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance  "
Wrong thread.
The confess your sins one was last week |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear all knowing Oracle could you help me understand this canundrum?
How is a baby 9months old in the womb, but when they are born in resets?
Because of Dr Trimester's rule of baby aging.
I thought everyone knew that?
I was ‘today years old’ when I learnt this lol
U truly are wise Oracle, you have my gratitude "
You are welcome |
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"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Wrong thread.
The confess your sins one was last week "
*Waves a cross and fingers the rosary, while backing slowly away* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Shame? "
We have had enough feeding frenzy threads for one night.
You are all just jealous of my allknoqmwingness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Wrong thread.
The confess your sins one was last week
*Waves a cross and fingers the rosary, while backing slowly away* "
The devil is strong in this one Hail Mary etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Shame?
We have had enough feeding frenzy threads for one night.
You are all just jealous of my allknoqmwingness"
Did you type that with your knob |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
Ah ... it was delayed in delivery due to congestion in the omniscience currents.
In answer to your question....
.
.
.
Malted Milk Biscuits are the superior type. Highly evolved and top of the food chain."
Surely Scottish shortcake biscuits are the best??  |
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"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Shame?
We have had enough feeding frenzy threads for one night.
You are all just jealous of my allknoqmwingness"
I am totally jel of your allknofjcosnfhnwness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's the best flavour of Monster Munch? And what should I do with a pack, if I happened to buy one? "
Pickled Onion.
Once purchased, give them to Mr and he can personally deliver them to me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
Ah ... it was delayed in delivery due to congestion in the omniscience currents.
In answer to your question....
.
.
.
Malted Milk Biscuits are the superior type. Highly evolved and top of the food chain.
Surely Scottish shortcake biscuits are the best?? "
No.
Jennie knows all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Shame?
We have had enough feeding frenzy threads for one night.
You are all just jealous of my allknoqmwingness
I am totally jel of your allknofjcosnfhnwness "
Allknowingness ... as you well knew.
The Oracle is feeling very attacked right now.
I never claimed to be an expert typist, just omniscient |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jenni,
the most important dilemma is scones ,jam or cream first ?"
Jam.
To create a barrier that stops the moisture in the cream from soggifying the scone |
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"Jennie, why did you not answer our question about biscuits?! It's important
She ignored mine too. sack her
Sack her! Sackcloth must be worn to perform penance
Shame?
We have had enough feeding frenzy threads for one night.
You are all just jealous of my allknoqmwingness
I am totally jel of your allknofjcosnfhnwness
Allknowingness ... as you well knew.
The Oracle is feeling very attacked right now.
I never claimed to be an expert typist, just omniscient "
Oh beauts. It made me smile as you do every day
Now. FAF? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies "
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point"
 witches! |
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"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!"
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point"
You’re owed an apology dammit Oracle. An obsequious one n all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill?"
I knew you'd say that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point
You’re owed an apology dammit Oracle. An obsequious one n all. "
I'll take whatever I can get.
Story of my life |
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"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill?
I knew you'd say that! "
Lancashire FTW |
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"Jennie. I’m only 28 but the constant back pain and sore joints are happening already. Is that it now?. Is it all down hill from here?.
You know the damage is irrecoverable when you look at beige cardigans and think "ooooh that's nice""
Ah fuck! I bought a beige cardigan yesterday hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie. I’m only 28 but the constant back pain and sore joints are happening already. Is that it now?. Is it all down hill from here?.
You know the damage is irrecoverable when you look at beige cardigans and think "ooooh that's nice"
Ah fuck! I bought a beige cardigan yesterday hahaha"
I know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill?
I knew you'd say that!
Lancashire FTW "
And that |
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"Why did I get offended when being referred to as "what I should have been fucking"?
Because that ignores the beautiful human qualities you have and reduces you to just an object of sexual entitlement.
.
.
(FAF?)"
 And you like Malted Milk! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies "
Harpies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
Harpies "
Yes.
Harpies |
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"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill?
I knew you'd say that!
Lancashire FTW
And that"
You are truly omniscient |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The oracle is taking a break for a short time.
To dress the wounds in her soul from the savage attack she sustained at the hands of the harpies
An immediate sorry would have been nice at that point witches!
Would you like a little walk up Pendle Hill?
I knew you'd say that!
Lancashire FTW
And that
You are truly omniscient "
I am |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, what is the secret to happiness?"
Never speak to or about yourself in a manner you wouldn't tolerate someone speaking to your best friend.
Plus.
Shoes. Sequins
Shoes AND sequins |
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"Jennie, what is the secret to happiness?
Never speak to or about yourself in a manner you wouldn't tolerate someone speaking to your best friend.
Plus.
Shoes. Sequins
Shoes AND sequins"
Is glitter an acceptable substitute?
(There's a makeup influencer who talks about glitter fallout as "glitter bukkake". I've decided you need to know this) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie, what is the secret to happiness?
Never speak to or about yourself in a manner you wouldn't tolerate someone speaking to your best friend.
Plus.
Shoes. Sequins
Shoes AND sequins
Is glitter an acceptable substitute?
(There's a makeup influencer who talks about glitter fallout as "glitter bukkake". I've decided you need to know this)"
I knew this.
Jennie knows everything
Glitter is a substitute in cases of emergency |
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"Jennie, what is the secret to happiness?
Never speak to or about yourself in a manner you wouldn't tolerate someone speaking to your best friend.
Plus.
Shoes. Sequins
Shoes AND sequins
Is glitter an acceptable substitute?
(There's a makeup influencer who talks about glitter fallout as "glitter bukkake". I've decided you need to know this)
I knew this.
Jennie knows everything
Glitter is a substitute in cases of emergency"
|
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