FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Making the first move.
Making the first move.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? |
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I always chat for quite a while before having a social meet but I don't remember being the first one to suggest meeting.
If the woman says it would be nice to meet for a coffee I would then probably suggest when and we work out the where from that point.
In regard to messages in general, I stopped sending them completely more than 3 years ago so every conversation since has been initiated by someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t view it as making the first move , which makes things a lot easier with anxiety etc . If is see someone I like I speak to them . If I’m not for them hey ho that’s how it goes . Shy kid gets no sweets and we are a long time dead so nothing to lose  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To start with I'd always get F to instigate as I could never understand the thought of flirting with or paying someone else a compliment, now I can openly message people flirt naturally, however, I tend to make things a little awkward and goofy because that's where I thrive  |
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I’m pretty good online at making the first move and suggesting a social.
When I’m with someone I’ll wistfully look off in to the distance until I’m asked what I’m thinking about… I’ll then reply “how much I want to kiss you”. Works every time, except when it doesn’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll make my interest known pretty quickly, I don't see that it's pushy or desperate..
How else are you going to get what you want? Waiting for it to happen?
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Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
Personality rules if you have one you don't feel nervous about approaching anyone especially a potential date, if you don't ask you don't get and sure sometimes you don't appeal to that person and sometimes they'll rebuff you but its life, we are all becoming a little introvert these days just smile and say hi, whats the worst that can happen. |
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On a recent social meet I was (quite rightly) told off for not making that first big move and kissing her until the end. Literally snogging at the train station when saying goodbye, when we could have been at it all evening.
So next time I met up with someone I did better. And went for it sooner. By god, did it pay off. I’m so glad I did. |
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I Nilly definitely often make the first move...in conversation, in normal life stuff, in the naughtier side of life... I do get anxious but I also talk whilst anxious...pretty much anything can come out of my mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll reach out if I'm interested. Surprisingly I've had guys think I'm kidding as they don't get messaged... It's a weird forum? It's not Tinder, but it's not 'I wanna shag' either? (well unless you do). So it's really hard to strike the balance of yes I've messaged you, no I don't want to take my knickers off without a decent chat first  |
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"I Nilly definitely often make the first move...in conversation, in normal life stuff, in the naughtier side of life... I do get anxious but I also talk whilst anxious...pretty much anything can come out of my mouth "
It's important to swallow before trying to talk  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In person I'm.so shit at reading signals, that am always missing opportunity...online it's so much easier to just put it out there see what comes back around meeting for social etc |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
On here?
Fox runs the inbox and when we're browsing she'll send a cheeky wink to those that catch her eye. I'm too busy dicking around in the forums to deal with that too.
In clubs? We'll point out people to eachother and if there's someone we're interested in we'll try and catch they're eye or strike up conversation at the bar or in the vaping area. No problem at all making it obvious we're potentially interested as having made a 4-5 round trip we like to make it worthwhile.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Online I’m terrible. I hardly ever message anyone first. I’m a massive flirt but I only do it if they’ve showed an interest in me before. I like to make sure they actually want to talk to me. I think I’m overly conscious about trying not to come over as too keen or a bit desperate, which is silly really when I think about it  .
In real life I’m much better at picking up on the signs and I’ll definitely make the first move if I feel like they’re too shy to do it . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Isn't it hard on here though?
Like for example you get profiles that say they don't want pen pals etc, but in order to get a feel for someone you need conversation, but they apply a pressure stating they aren't into endless chatting, it's not a dating site etc which then leaves you wondering at which point has it been too long chatting for them and they assume it's a no go situation and therefore don't bother.
Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different? |
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I'm always happy to make the first move, and usually do on here. I tend to read the vibe of the conversation first, so will only make a move if she seems genuinely interested. Sometimes you can tell they aren't putting much effort into their replies or they just "forget" to reply.
If they're not interested they'll make an excuse or ignore it, if they are then it's game on. I'm way past the point of taking anything personally on this site. |
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"I Nilly definitely often make the first move...in conversation, in normal life stuff, in the naughtier side of life... I do get anxious but I also talk whilst anxious...pretty much anything can come out of my mouth
Honestly I knew I d lined that up for some kind of smutty comment giggle
It's important to swallow before trying to talk "
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
It's a minefield. We put pressure on making the first move but can often be so critical of the when and how it is made. That's on both sides.
Speaking as a guy, obviously, the amount of times I've read signals wrong, or read them correctly (in that they were obvious) but apparently the first move was not wanted at that time. Or I've avoided making the first move but missed out, yet the other person didn't make the move either. Or I've been too slow myself to make things obvious.
I dread it, it's an extremely uncomfortable part of interaction. So much disappointment orbits a first move. A mistimed first move can destroy something good or potentially great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same "
It's tough as a single! Be that male or female |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting post: In all honesty - all of the above!
Navigating the dynamics of attraction and interest can be a bit of a minefield - although there usually comes a moment when you just have to throw caution to the wind and put your cards on the table.
Personally I prefer to engage in a pretty casual chat initially - in person or via messages - if someone piques my interest (hint hint - if this is you!). From there it’s usually pretty easy to gauge if there is interest or someone is seeking something different. Reading between the lines usually isn’t so hard.
These things can be tricker via Fab - the prospect of sex can be a double edged sword sometimes - but I do try to employ the same policy.
If all else fails, the old adage ‘fortune favours the brave’ seems to ring true. Sometimes taking a perceived ‘risk’ can really pay off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same
It's tough as a single! Be that male or female "
Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel  |
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"Isn't it hard on here though?
Like for example you get profiles that say they don't want pen pals etc, but in order to get a feel for someone you need conversation, but they apply a pressure stating they aren't into endless chatting, it's not a dating site etc which then leaves you wondering at which point has it been too long chatting for them and they assume it's a no go situation and therefore don't bother.
Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different? "
I agree. I avoid those too. I like to chat for quite a while first. If they don’t then it’s fair enough but we won’t be meeting x |
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Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection. |
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"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection. "
This surprises me to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same
It's tough as a single! Be that male or female
Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel "
Well, quite often the 'sign', is that you get told off for being on here as you're not a real swinger  What ever the hell that is |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.
So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection. "
Personally I'd say that's a bit silly? 90% of folk I've met via here if because I've approached them. If I didn't, they probably wouldn't either. So it'd be a bit pointless? |
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"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.
So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.
"
Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.
So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.
Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs "
Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!
Isn't that more of a dinner thing? |
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"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.
This surprises me to be honest. "
You assume I must get rejected all the time?
I suppose, effectively, we all do. Passively. But not to the extent of hearing it said explicitly. |
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"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.
Personally I'd say that's a bit silly? 90% of folk I've met via here if because I've approached them. If I didn't, they probably wouldn't either. So it'd be a bit pointless? "
It is undoubtedly silly. I'd add weak,cowardly, self-defeating,and depressing. But there it is.  |
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"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.
'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.
This surprises me to be honest.
You assume I must get rejected all the time?
I suppose, effectively, we all do. Passively. But not to the extent of hearing it said explicitly."
Haha no I meant you seem quite confident and I would have imagined you had no issues making the first move. |
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"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.
So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.
Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs
Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!
Isn't that more of a dinner thing?"
I have no morals posh. You knows this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same
It's tough as a single! Be that male or female
Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel
Well, quite often the 'sign', is that you get told off for being on here as you're not a real swinger What ever the hell that is "
Pah ignore them, a lot of people on here aren't swingers. |
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"How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
How did mine go? I tend to go with it and see how I get on. I’m a much better flirt in person though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s hard for anyone but more so men..
We don’t want to come across as pushy but on the other hand you still need to know weather something could happen..
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"
Haha no I meant you seem quite confident and I would have imagined you had no issues making the first move. "
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn't it hard on here though?
Like for example you get profiles that say they don't want pen pals etc, but in order to get a feel for someone you need conversation, but they apply a pressure stating they aren't into endless chatting, it's not a dating site etc which then leaves you wondering at which point has it been too long chatting for them and they assume it's a no go situation and therefore don't bother.
Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different?
I agree. I avoid those too. I like to chat for quite a while first. If they don’t then it’s fair enough but we won’t be meeting x"
I like to too.
If you can't communicate in normal ways how the hell are you going to in the ways that will matter? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.
So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.
Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs
Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!
Isn't that more of a dinner thing?
I have no morals posh. You knows this "
Yes but Ilfracombe is proper classy! |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose."
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great. "
Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
I think I'm stone useless at making the first move BUT if sending a message is considered a first move I suppose lm ok but l only message if l like something they have posted or replied to on the forums , l very very rarely send a message otherwise as l know ladies here are totally swamped with messages and getting a reply in that route is very difficult whereas l find it's easier if you send a message on what they've posted or replied to on the forums then at least they know you've read their post or reply. |
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"Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great.
Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move..... "
. There must have been wine involved haha. |
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I have been told a few times by women that I'm not assertive enough in my approach to making the next move.
I often ignore my natural intuition and defer to being cautious and reticent — either in meeting or taking the conversation to the next level.
It's not about being shy or lacking courage; I simply need a 'sign' or gesture or a compelling indication that she is genuinely interested and therefore avoid the spectre of misjudgement. |
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"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!"
Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop . I have a very strange mind! |
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"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!
Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop . I have a very strange mind! "
I've never noticed that you're odd Nora |
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"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!
Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop . I have a very strange mind!
I've never noticed that you're odd Nora "
I least I’ve never denied it haha |
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"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!
Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop . I have a very strange mind!
I've never noticed that you're odd Nora
I least I’ve never denied it haha"
Compared to some here you're normal...ish |
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I'm pretty confident in all aspects of my life and never had a problem making the first move, if I'm attracted to you and you're bio is good I'll just message.
I also understand that it's law of attraction and if they're not attracted to me then it's in no way an insult, it's just their preference and no one should take offence to that. I do like to know either way though
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great.
Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....
. There must have been wine involved haha. "
Quite possibly. I was more concerned as to whether the wish was born of desire or aggression..? |
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I do message people in the search section I say about 70% get unread 20% read but no reply 9% blocked and 1% reply great stats but them figures are about right, on forums rarely rarely would I message anyone. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.
That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!
Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop . I have a very strange mind! "
Oh sweetie. We all know you're a fruitloop  |
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"Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great.
Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....
. There must have been wine involved haha.
Quite possibly. I was more concerned as to whether the wish was born of desire or aggression..?"
Contrary to popular belief I’m not at all aggressive . I actually am a gentle pussy cat. I’m a bloody softie deep down! I admit it’s very deep down haha but I am. |
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I very much take my cues from the person I’m chatting to. I don’t mean hints to rip their knickers off and charge into battle, more the flow of conversation. Whether she has been flirty, or (in person) making eye contact, smiles etc.
I’m sure sometimes in life I have missed out on opportunities due to missing signals too subtle for me to pick up.
I suspect that, more often than not, my innate gentlemanly conduct overrides my desire to flirt and make the first move. It’s not a conscious thing but I have never been, and will never be, one of those brash fellows who puts their own horn above my usual conduct.
Sometimes I feel I’m ‘normal’ chatting too much, sometimes cringing when I send that first move message.
Above all else, I’m just so used to being single and feeling undesirable. So my starting position is one of “she’s hot but unlikely to be interested in thee”.
In summary, anyone fancy a fuck? |
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"
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse? "
As a solo guy in here, if I didn't make the first move, I doubt I would have had any meets at all.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
'You got to be a student of human moves'
I can read people quite well from playing poker for years.
Know when and when not to make a move most of the time.
If unsure though I'll still make a move to find out.
If it was clear they weren't interested, I wouldn't make a move though.
If unsure just try, saves wasting time in the long run. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s just normal for me to make the first move , no issues at all. But sometimes I hold back if I think there’s a nice friendship developing and I’m not sure she’s interested in more, or just if I’m really enjoying a nice slow pace , organic and unrushed. |
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By *anasGodMan
over a year ago
everywhere |
I make first move I love the interaction and the trilling of it.
I am not so good on the internet and app way actually I dont like it.I prefer and like the live flirt
Sometimes throw my life woman as well made the first move.
I believe is the motivation,the place and the time.
This need a lot philosophically conversation or a night out with me to give some practical examples  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I like them I will absolutely make the first move. If we have got to a social and it's going well then I will go in for the kill haha, what's the worst that can happen I get a no. Well that's ok and better off knowing than not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I never use to, ever.
But now, yeah I do.
I'll message a guy first.
I'll suggest we should meet, only then to be met with a barrage of excuses
You know what they say though, shy kids don't get sweets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How good are you making the first move?
Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?
Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?
From sending the message?
Suggesting a social?
Or making the first move in a physical sense?
Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?
I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.
Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?
Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?
Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
I’m happy to suggest a social and it just being that….but I’m also happy to suggest a sleepover with cwtches and see where it leads   |
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By *ebootCouple
over a year ago
Telford |
On here not too bad - happy to drop a message and open conversation.
In a club - totally the opposite, we’re absolutely awful at approaching people unless an obviously opportunity presents itself to chat.
Otherwise we’re the ones sat in a corner watching everything unfold around us  |
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my mouth runs away with me when I feel nervous or out of my comfort zone with somebody we haven't met before,
so, eventually, Cj gives the signal to move things forwards by asking me to take something like my top or knickers off lol. |
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By *tar80sWoman
over a year ago
Southampton |
I think I am a little confused on what the first move is. If I see something interesting or want to comment on something, I just do it. In real life and on here, but I don't necessarily see that as flirting because I can easily thank them and walk away after getting that point across if I want to.
In a physical sense, if I want sonething it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In terms of Fab? I'm shy and I'm a bit of a lurker
In real life. I'm shy till I get to know you.
I'm both cases if someone wants to chat/message then I can do that.
I just not comfortable with rejection, probably a self confidence thing or the lack thereof. |
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"In a physical sense, if I want something it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself. "
I can’t speak for everyone else, but I like your directness. You don’t fuck about, and yet you’re exceptionally kind and smiley about it. A winning combo. |
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"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated. "
I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn |
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By *tar80sWoman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"In a physical sense, if I want something it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself.
I can’t speak for everyone else, but I like your directness. You don’t fuck about, and yet you’re exceptionally kind and smiley about it. A winning combo."
Thanks RtG! |
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I don’t approach people, both in real life and online. It’s a confidence thing, the bravest thing I’ll do is wink someone but that’s rare.
A funny thing for me was when a club i stopped going to (my choice based on their actions) tried to spread rumours about me, one being that i “wouldn’t take no for an answer” and don’t understand “no means no.” Anyone who knows me knows in all my 7/8 years on the scene I’ve never approached a soul, and I honestly can’t see that i ever will.
I have the utmost respect for people who approach others in clubs, it takes a lot of strength mentally to be okay with rejection. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.
I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn "
I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups! |
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"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.
I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn
I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups! "
I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I've never had an issue with taking the initiative. I'm able to gauge fairly well if the conditions were right for some type of advance. The prospect of rejection never put me off as it's always a possibility and it does happen.
I think women in general appreciate and are attracted to confidence. Cockiness, not so much, though some like this as well. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.
I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn
I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups!
I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time "
Couga claw sharpening in progress |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t really like to make the first move because I don’t want to come across as pushy or struggle to think of something to say on here. However I often do as I wouldn’t be chatting to anyone on here if I didn’t haha |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I don’t.
I’m too shy for a start. I’m anlso socially anwkward.
But more so I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to men, I like them to woo, court, ask out etc.
And if they don’t then they weren’t that interested in me (is how I see it).
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"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.
I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn
I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups!
I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time
Couga claw sharpening in progress "
|
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By *cHeroMan
over a year ago
North East |
Fortune favours the brave So
happy to make first move here and in real life.
Walk of shame away sucks in person...not so much here but need to be pretty thick skinned - given the typical inbox of women, I think it's more luck than anything else just to messages read let alone replied...so no big deal, and move on  |
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If I was interested in meeting someone I was never hesitant to make the first move...what's the worst that can happen? I think a lot of men on here are wary of seeming too forward or pushy, especially forum users that see lots of posts from women about behaviour that they don't like. Personally, I've never minded anyone asking, it's a simple question that you're free to answer however you choose. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm quite happy to make the first move, suggest a date or coffee etc. I have self confidence doubts from time to time but weirdly not too much overthinking on that part (unless bipanic sets in and I don't know how to talk to a woman who gives me butterflies).
I think, for the most part, it's been me making that first move.
That's probably why I'm normally surprised/a bit taken aback when people do. It means a little bit more, allows me to relax into it and and enjoy that feeling of being desired differently.
I'm quite wary about messing up friendships with sex or something more. People mean more to me than something that could be fleeting or end badly.
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I never have and probably never will. It’s not only about the lack of self confidence and cultural upbringing, but also I have difficulty to pick up the signs, I need for the other person to say if they're interested straight to my face, and really mean it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm extremely shy and socially awkward. I've never had a yes from a girl I've asked out, so I'm simply unable to read signals from women. So making the first move is a no for me.
Like most of Fab, I've been here before, deleted my account and re-joined. I've recently completely blanked my Fab profile and turned off all messaging options so nobody can contact me whatsoever. I've had two couples interested, both of whom messed me about and I've really had enough of trying to get a meet here, I am happy to go on the forums and chat but that's all Fab will ever be for me.
Also, I think you have to be realistic and know your place in the pecking order, I'm very aware of where I stand in that respect. I know as soon as I'm asked for a face picture, its game over, I'm going no further. My just over 8" cock will only cover so much for deficiencies in other areas.
Ironically, I don't have a problem with this as that is life itself, the prettiest women at work have much more chance of promition that I ever will, they will get opportunities that I won't but that is my friends the way life works, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm shy and nervous about making the first move, but also know that no girls are going to make a move on me so I kinda have to take the initiative lol. One day I'm sure it'll pay off! |
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