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Post-coital cuddles
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Evening folks!
Interested to know what do you think of cuddles with casual hook ups after sex. Do you find them off putting or do you welcome them?
More inclined to understand men's perspective on the subject. Men- why do you cuddle, spoon or hold us tightly after sex if you don't know us well? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's simple for me, if I've just had my penis in you, why can I not hold you to. I'm a sensual tactile man, who likes intimacy, which I doesn't scare me or feel the need to run away from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Post-coital cuddles are an essential part of aftercare in sex. I like doing that with whoever I've just fucked (doesn't matter if they're a hookup or something more) so we can just chill and talk about how the sex was. I value feedback and I like to show that I don't just treat whoever I've fucked as just a human sex doll.
Although there's definitely going to be a need for both of us to clean up afterwards too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not male. Fairly sure on this.
But cuddling after casual sex?
Hell.
No.
"
Yeah I’m with you on this one. I’m not really fussy on cuddling after sex with anyone. |
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You can't not know someone incredibly well if the sex is remotely decent. It's an intense, powerful, intimate conversation in body language. And as I hug even those I barely know, I'd definitely hug someone I've got naked with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a bit cold to just jump up the minute you're finished and shudder at the thought of touching them again  I like a cursory cuddle and a nipple tweak at least. |
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"But cuddling after casual sex?
Hell.
No."
I think that’s the thing. It depends how casual the sex is.
I’m not going to cuddle a random someone after a blow job in a swingers club.
But the sex is rarely that casual for me. I’m an affectionate guy. I’m as excited about the first kiss as I am about the fucking that eventually follows. And yeah, there’s likely to just as much stroking and holding and kissing afterwards as there was before it.
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"I want all the cuddles ,kisses, pillow talk and round 2,3,4 and 5.
"
I *swear* I am not following you around the forums. I was already writing that post!
But you’re the perfect example. I couldn’t call what we’re doing casual.  |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly  |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly "
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms  |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms "
Definitely that too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But cuddling after casual sex?
Hell.
No.
I think that’s the thing. It depends how casual the sex is.
I’m not going to cuddle a random someone after a blow job in a swingers club.
But the sex is rarely that casual for me. I’m an affectionate guy. I’m as excited about the first kiss as I am about the fucking that eventually follows. And yeah, there’s likely to just as much stroking and holding and kissing afterwards as there was before it.
"
Unless I'm in a relationship with the guy, it's casual sex.
|
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I like the cuddles after...
If I like you enough to fuck you then unless specifically told otherwise. I would expect cuddles after ...and between rounds.
And depending on the type of play...I see it as part of aftercare and as pretty much essential |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like the cuddles after...
If I like you enough to fuck you then unless specifically told otherwise. I would expect cuddles after ...and between rounds.
And depending on the type of play...I see it as part of aftercare and as pretty much essential "
What's with all the "aftercare".
It's sex guys not an operation!
|
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms "
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it? |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?"
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this |
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"In the name of science.
The next man I fuck - I will cuddle before and after.
Just for science 
Just need a test subject…"
You also need a control, and someone you cuddle before but NOT after, and someone vice versa.
Need any help setting up the experiment? |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this "
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat. |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat. "
With what  |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
That’s quite an assumption you’re making there. Isn’t it more likely there are just some guys who feel differently to you?"
Lets just say im dubious of that |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
I've found more men want to than don't x |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
Why do you think men here are lying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not the most tactile person anyway so the idea of laying in bed cuddling someone when we don’t know each other very well makes me uncomfortable. I’ll happily lay in bed and talk for hours but just as long as you’re at the other end |
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"I like the cuddles after...
If I like you enough to fuck you then unless specifically told otherwise. I would expect cuddles after ...and between rounds.
And depending on the type of play...I see it as part of aftercare and as pretty much essential
What's with all the "aftercare".
It's sex guys not an operation!
"
Well if it's play that involves heavy impact play etc then ... I've seen sub drop and aftercare is needed...and I'd argue pretty much expected |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too
Why do you think men here are lying?"
The answer to that is in the first line of my comment youve responded to |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat.
With what "
Got any peeling wallpaper that needs pasting?? |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
Your logic doesn't make sense. As you point out, if we were trying to say 'the right thing', we'd say we didn't want cuddles. If anything, since your preference matches that of many women here, we could say that you are the one 'white-knighting'.
Or, just possibly, it's an interesting discussion, everyone has different opinions, and everyone is being sincere. |
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"In the name of science.
The next man I fuck - I will cuddle before and after.
Just for science
Just need a test subject…
You also need a control, and someone you cuddle before but NOT after, and someone vice versa.
Need any help setting up the experiment? "
Yes please. Do you need a lab coat? |
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If it's casual, I don't really cuddle all that much. I make conversation and we have nice chats and have a joke with each other but I'd feel uncomfortable going for the cuddles after if they don't feel the same way, it's just a bit awkward  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like the cuddles after...
If I like you enough to fuck you then unless specifically told otherwise. I would expect cuddles after ...and between rounds.
And depending on the type of play...I see it as part of aftercare and as pretty much essential
What's with all the "aftercare".
It's sex guys not an operation!
Well if it's play that involves heavy impact play etc then ... I've seen sub drop and aftercare is needed...and I'd argue pretty much expected "
I just want sleep after.
Alone!!
|
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
That’s quite an assumption you’re making there. Isn’t it more likely there are just some guys who feel differently to you?"
Men? Individuals?
Pfft. Next you'll tell me they have feelings. Mamby pamby bullshit |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat.
With what "
I sort of don't want to say 'green'. |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat.
With what
Got any peeling wallpaper that needs pasting?? "
|
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"In the name of science.
The next man I fuck - I will cuddle before and after.
Just for science
Just need a test subject…
You also need a control, and someone you cuddle before but NOT after, and someone vice versa.
Need any help setting up the experiment?
Yes please. Do you need a lab coat?"
It would only get wet. |
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"I'm a cuddle type of person with people I like anyway and I'm not fucking someone I don't like!
On another note, sometimes cuddles etc are needed for proper aftercare from impact play, it's important for me to come back down to earth softly
I sometimes need to come down to earth softly just from orgasms
Also this. What am I meant to do whilst waiting for her to be able to sprak and walk again? The hoovering?
Oh shit. It IS the hoovering, isn't it?
I'd be impressed but slightly baffled by this
For you, I'd even give the walls a second coat.
With what
I sort of don't want to say 'green'. "
If symptoms persist see your doctor  |
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"I like the cuddles after...
If I like you enough to fuck you then unless specifically told otherwise. I would expect cuddles after ...and between rounds.
And depending on the type of play...I see it as part of aftercare and as pretty much essential
What's with all the "aftercare".
It's sex guys not an operation!
Well if it's play that involves heavy impact play etc then ... I've seen sub drop and aftercare is needed...and I'd argue pretty much expected
I just want sleep after.
Alone!!
"
Haha... whatever works for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
Quite a leap, my truth is my truth, no need to chat shit just cuz it may be what I think a women wants to hear, I stopped doing others thinking for them along time ago.
We're all different, as a man my truth is yeah I like a cuddle, a hug, no shame in that
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening folks!
Interested to know what do you think of cuddles with casual hook ups after sex. Do you find them off putting or do you welcome them?
More inclined to understand men's perspective on the subject. Men- why do you cuddle, spoon or hold us tightly after sex if you don't know us well? "
Personally, if I've just had a hook-up kind of meet with someone I'm not interested in that kind of intimacy. That's something I will save for Mr when we reconnect after
Mrs |
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There's a fine line. I have vto say that every single guy we've ever met has avoided anything that might be considered romantic. Especially after sex, they actively avoid cuddles and at the end of the evening when I go to embrace them and kiss them on the cheek their body language tells me they're uncomfortable.
For this and other reasons I'm now extremely choosy about who we meet.
I don't want love, romance or a relationship but I do want to feel that I'm more than a casual fuck. |
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"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
I don't say anything I don't mean and certainly don't follow the crowd of yes miss certainly miss how high miss, I've not read every comment as switching from room to room but what I read seems to be 50/50 on cuddles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening folks!
Interested to know what do you think of cuddles with casual hook ups after sex. Do you find them off putting or do you welcome them?
More inclined to understand men's perspective on the subject. Men- why do you cuddle, spoon or hold us tightly after sex if you don't know us well? "
I might do it at the time because it feels good.
I might shower with a lady in a club after we have played and rub her down.
It does not make more attached though.
Mindset doesn't change.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Evening folks!
Interested to know what do you think of cuddles with casual hook ups after sex. Do you find them off putting or do you welcome them?
More inclined to understand men's perspective on the subject. Men- why do you cuddle, spoon or hold us tightly after sex if you don't know us well?
I might do it at the time because it feels good.
I might shower with a lady in a club after we have played and rub her down.
It does not make more attached though.
Mindset doesn't change.
"
Carefull there two bulls your showing a soft side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So many men in here saying what they think women want to hear.
Lads, as you can see from the comments, lot of women have no interest in cuddling. Its ok for you to say it too "
They use the forum to try pick the women up.
They don't want to be treading on eggshells |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a fine line. I have vto say that every single guy we've ever met has avoided anything that might be considered romantic. Especially after sex, they actively avoid cuddles and at the end of the evening when I go to embrace them and kiss them on the cheek their body language tells me they're uncomfortable.
For this and other reasons I'm now extremely choosy about who we meet.
I don't want love, romance or a relationship but I do want to feel that I'm more than a casual fuck. "
When I was a single guy on here, I used to find a couple/female like yourselves a rarity. Very often, was made to feel uncomfortable by the lady's other half. Nothing threatening or the such like. Just change of mood, and body language. Oddly though, it made me feel used and unloved. Not that I'm saying I wanted the lady of the couple to love me, but us guys need tender touches sometimes. |
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"Evening folks!
Interested to know what do you think of cuddles with casual hook ups after sex. Do you find them off putting or do you welcome them?
More inclined to understand men's perspective on the subject. Men- why do you cuddle, spoon or hold us tightly after sex if you don't know us well? "
I like to cuddle afterwards because I feel it's a different kind intimacy, but also for reassurance and respect. If I've had sex with someone, I like them to know it means something to me, more than just physical stimulation, but mental stimulation too.
For me, cuddles are a sign of my gratitude for allowing me to share an intimate occasion with them.
However, if a lady isn't into cuddles, that's fine too, and I'll respect their preference. |
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"There's a fine line. I have vto say that every single guy we've ever met has avoided anything that might be considered romantic. Especially after sex, they actively avoid cuddles and at the end of the evening when I go to embrace them and kiss them on the cheek their body language tells me they're uncomfortable.
For this and other reasons I'm now extremely choosy about who we meet.
I don't want love, romance or a relationship but I do want to feel that I'm more than a casual fuck.
When I was a single guy on here, I used to find a couple/female like yourselves a rarity. Very often, was made to feel uncomfortable by the lady's other half. Nothing threatening or the such like. Just change of mood, and body language. Oddly though, it made me feel used and unloved. Not that I'm saying I wanted the lady of the couple to love me, but us guys need tender touches sometimes. "
Yep it's a bit of a balancing act really.
I do think that the guys felt constrained by the presence of my partner. He would often leave us alone for a bit to get over that and maybe reassure them that he felt ok with it all but I get it, you're with another man's wife, in any other situation you'd get your lights punched out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".
Yep it's a bit of a balancing act really.
I do think that the guys felt constrained by the presence of my partner. He would often leave us alone for a bit to get over that and maybe reassure them that he felt ok with it all but I get it, you're with another man's wife, in any other situation you'd get your lights punched out "
Yes. We know that feeling as a couple too. We have a good friends couple, where we all enjoy the cuddling after glow with opposite partners. But find it easier to discuss, and balance it right , with another couple  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m big on affection and body to body contact turns me on!!
I’m not one for the whole fuck and go with no kissing…..I need affection to feel appreciated haha!!
Cwtches and snuggles are a given and if the visitor isn’t into it then I don’t want it!! |
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I don't do hook ups or casual sex, nor do I aspire for anything that resembles a coital transaction.
So cuddles, pillow talk or after care is very important to me, and intrinsically linked to the sex, otherwise the experience for me is hollow and without substance.
It's also totally fine for those who aren't tactile and don't strive for cuddles for whatever reason. We all have our preferences and we all follow our sexual blueprints.
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