FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reason why you should never fuck a

Reason why you should never fuck a

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A health and safety person...there's too much risk they will avoid you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man  over a year ago

DUBLIN

Client. Can lead to big trouble professionally.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

…..health and safety manager.

Our idea of foreplay is running a risk assessment and making sure your understand the RAMS for the upcoming activity

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

...a nun.

Can be a bad habit to get into.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

An electrician

It's a shocking experience

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A dog groomer.

Because they'd probably fucking stink

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Accountant - they're only interested in your assets and double entry. You won't get any relief unless it's tax relief.

J

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

"

I’m game for constructive feedback op.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uicy_J66Woman  over a year ago

Belfast

A train driver... they have a one track mind

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ocksareoffMan  over a year ago

Out n About

A coal man.

As soon as they empty their sack they bugger off.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South

A priest. They’ll ghost you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

A panda.

Eats shoots and leaves.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

A gardener. Their bushes might need a good trim

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"A gardener. Their bushes might need a good trim "

And they're always trying to fertilize you, they hang around with hoes and the kinky fuckers always have butts full of water!

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *istyblue1967Man  over a year ago

manchester

accountant

he ll charge you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A yoga instructor. You’d be bent in all weird ways

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oeBeansMan  over a year ago

Derby

A PT. They'll question your form and tell you the right way to do it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oeBeansMan  over a year ago

Derby


"A priest. They’ll ghost you."

Not the reason I thought you'd go for

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

A delivery driver - you'll wait all day for them to come and they'll sneak a card into your box while you're not looking.

J

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oitering-With-intentMan  over a year ago

city of Lodon

Knife juggler.

Youll get poked in all the wrong places

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

A bus driver.

They'll leave you hanging around for hours and then next thing you know three will turn up at once and you're in for a gangbang.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *histle do nicelyMan  over a year ago

Glasgow South

A stamp collector..they don't know when to stop licking..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oeBeansMan  over a year ago

Derby

And IT support engineer. They have to turn you off before they can turn you on again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *4bimMan  over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

An MP.

Too much cash for questions

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A delivery driver.

They will damage your package and leave a photo of it with someone else.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

A council road planning manager.

They'll just stand around watching whilst 15 guys in high viz drink tea and take it in turns over the next 6 months to fill your hole in badly and have to come back again a couple of months to do it all once more just as badly as the first time while angry local residents hurl abuse at them from passing cars.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A council road planning manager.

They'll just stand around watching whilst 15 guys in high viz drink tea and take it in turns over the next 6 months to fill your hole in badly and have to come back again a couple of months to do it all once more just as badly as the first time while angry local residents hurl abuse at them from passing cars.

A"

Get it off your chest

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London

An Olympic sprinter.

It'll all be over in less than 10 seconds.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ilBWoman  over a year ago

West Midlands

...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far.. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

A dentist. He’ll wear a mask and tell you to open wide, before tutting and saying you haven’t been cleaning properly.

When he’s finished he’ll ask you to rinse what he’s left in there and then hand you a bill.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far.. "

Or a necrophiliac, you’ll die before you get fucked

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Bit far.. "

Nah. I was going to say ‘a Tory’. No punchline, just don’t do it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

An MP or other politician

Because they will be constantly trying to fuck you for the rest of your life

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Or a necrophiliac, you’ll die before you get fucked "

But rigor mortis makes me hard.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A politician - as they never can deliver on what they promise and and always deny on being there when it happened - well I can think of at least one that fits this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ecretRdvzMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"A health and safety person...there's too much risk they will avoid you "

This is funny. I used to do fire safety, it wasn’t my actual job, just a role I had within another job. A woman once invited me to her place and she had more candles than I’ve ever seen, my first thought was “fuck me what a fire hazard”. We had a bit of a laugh about it and she told me it was ridiculous, totally fine etc. so we’re having sex and a cushion fell of the bed and caught fire, smoke alarm going off, her flat mate came running in, everyone panicking. Didn’t cause a serious fire but certainly made my point. That’s one night I’ll never forget haha. Sorry, back to the point.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oitering-With-intentMan  over a year ago

city of Lodon

A pornstar.

After you've been kicked in the balls a few times you won't sit down for a week.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ull English with teaMan  over a year ago

London

A supermarket worker, they’ll leave an unexpected item in your bagging area…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

A vacuum cleaner salesman.

Because the Dyson ball cleaner is nothing but false advertising.

A

*although nothing sucks like an electrolux......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

A gynaecologist. They don’t do foreplay or romance, it’s all about assuming the position and getting stuck in.

And afterwards you’ll get a report on the state of your bits.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Something something carpet fitter something bad lay something shag something...

J

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Something something carpet fitter something bad lay something shag something...

J"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A painter & decorator..cause he'll just say " what do you think of it now that it's up "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Psychiatrist because they will fuck your head up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A politicion

The shame would be too much to cope with!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A milkman..he'll just say " how many do you want today love ?"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A cowardly soldier - he'll desert you once the shooting starts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A software engineer - they'll inevitably leave you with a bug.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rMs.NeekCouple  over a year ago

Worcestershire

Fireman....

Put out your flames (of desire) with his hose...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

"

Sounds a bit like the veri system! Though in the School of Fab, everyone is an A* student, clearly!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Man from London. He'll take you up the tube

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford

A mathematician. It's just a numbers game to them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lack charmingMan  over a year ago

Ldn town

A flooring contractor.

They will walk all over you!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fisherman that reels you in

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Driving instructor that teaches You many lessons

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple  over a year ago

A town and place not in the UK

A conspiracy theorist

Because they'll say it's fake news afterwards.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ames-77Man  over a year ago

milton keynes


"A conspiracy theorist

Because they'll say it's fake news afterwards."

Fact you use the term conspiracy theorist makes you tragic

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

An arable farmer

All they'll want to do is plough you, drill you and plant their seed!

Livestock might want to milk you, halter you and parade on show!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *weetkitten65Woman  over a year ago

Halifax

A baker as you might get a bun in the oven.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *r_PinkMan  over a year ago

london stratford

a necrophiliac,

coz it will be dead boring

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eggieMarshmallowWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

A landlord

Because they are the worst people in the world

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

An estate agent.

They sell you a dream but once inside its falling apart; creaky, musty and smells awful.

And typically an old boiler.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ensualAsiansCouple  over a year ago

London

A recycling specialist

They always labelled me in specific box and pillow talk afterwards was soda pressing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *red333Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

"

you should never fuck a vampire they'll suck all the blood out right through your japs eye and then radiate lust

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *it4uMan  over a year ago

Brighton / Eastbourne

Santa claws cos he only comes once a year for a split second.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *isaB45Woman  over a year ago

Fabville

A driving instructor will want to take control.

A scaffolder will want to show you his mighty erection.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *red333Man  over a year ago

Dorchester

An airline pilot he'll take you to heights you've never been

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

A traffic Warden

If you aren’t finished your business and moved on with 30 mins you are going to get a fine

Marc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iPythonMan  over a year ago

In my pants

Estate agent

They’ll tell you it’s bigger than it is

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Banker...

They'll only lose interest.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *red333Man  over a year ago

Dorchester

A Duck you'll get a greasy dick

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lutandhubbyCouple  over a year ago

west midlands

a lift engineer. its just wrong on so many levels !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Archaeologist, because they will pull out their tool to have a dig around with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A farmer...they'll try n rut you in any season....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ashMan  over a year ago

Westhoughton

[Removed by poster at 05/04/23 21:04:49]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ashMan  over a year ago

Westhoughton

Colorectal surgeon

U wait for months to see them.

They r only interested in ur asshole..

?

They will send u off to gynaecologist if u want ur pussy to be looked at as well?and u will wait for another few months

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ildmanYorksMan  over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

A psychotherapist as he'll say it's not him you want to fuck, it's your mother

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ocksareoffMan  over a year ago

Out n About

A health and safety officer.

By the time you've completed the risk assessment and put all your PPE on it will be time to go home.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A health and safety officer.

By the time you've completed the risk assessment and put all your PPE on it will be time to go home. "

But we do speak Latin volenti non fit injuri

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A dentist. He’ll wear a mask and tell you to open wide, before tutting and saying you haven’t been cleaning properly.

When he’s finished he’ll ask you to rinse what he’s left in there and then hand you a bill."

But at least he'll fill your cavity

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rPeachPiercedPrincessCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

A pilot

They might just take off

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *r_PinkMan  over a year ago

london stratford

a plumber

coz he will bleed your pipes

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hrek101Man  over a year ago

Herts

A manager at work so when you get made redundant and get asked to apply for an internal job and she is manager of that team it's better to take the money and go

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A person who works in chip shop.

Probably end up with a battered sausage

(Mrs)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny

Intercity train driver

Because you’ll have to go all the way before you can get off

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ungle777Man  over a year ago

LONDON

A cricketer - once he's in you can't get him out!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ungle777Man  over a year ago

LONDON

A footballer because he always dribbles before he shoots!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *adyJayneWoman  over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"A council road planning manager.

They'll just stand around watching whilst 15 guys in high viz drink tea and take it in turns over the next 6 months to fill your hole in badly and have to come back again a couple of months to do it all once more just as badly as the first time while angry local residents hurl abuse at them from passing cars.

A"

And you have won the internet for today.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0936

0