FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I'm not really a swinger.

I'm not really a swinger.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Prompted by another post (where some very valid points were raised)

I'm curious for the other 'not really a swinger' people, why you choose here than say other places for hook ups/dating etc?

I've said it before over the years but as a single woman I find the men I encounter here to be far better,more attractive to me,(and more attracted to me) more intelligent, more interesting and actually more respectful than those I've met elsewhere. I've never once been ghosted or stalked by anyone I've met here.

Is it that people can be more honest about what they are looking for or who they are here than they can be elsewhere?

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By *hathappensnowCouple over a year ago

Rotherham

Personally, we don’t see singles, either male or females as swingers. I even went and looked up the definition and it’s the swopping of partners. A single person doesn’t have a partner to swop in our opinion.

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us.

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

I joined here because at the time, I was looking for occasional male company and sex with no expectations of it progressing to anything more.

I don't find the men here to be all that different to ones I previously encountered on dating sites.

Apart from perhaps some of their expectations in regards to sex

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Prompted by another post (where some very valid points were raised)

I'm curious for the other 'not really a swinger' people, why you choose here than say other places for hook ups/dating etc?

Is it that people can be more honest about what they are looking for or who they are here than they can be elsewhere?

What's a 'swinger' ?

Til someone comes up with a valid definition then why can't singles be here for each other?

As far as I'm concerned those that think swinging is just for couples only should join a wife (or of course husband) swapping site.

Swinging has evolved from what it used to be seen as and what so many think it should be.

There's room for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Personally, we don’t see singles, either male or females as swingers. I even went and looked up the definition and it’s the swopping of partners. A single person doesn’t have a partner to swop in our opinion.

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us. "

I'd kinda agree with this too.

We are actually quite good fun to have around

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I never really thought about it. I just googled bicurious years ago and fab came up so I joined. I’ve never been a swinger and never will be yet I’ve always found what I wanted here and had some amazing times. I’m not really bothered if people think I shouldn’t be here. I’m probably the opposite of what the site is about but it’s worked for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Prompted by another post (where some very valid points were raised)

I'm curious for the other 'not really a swinger' people, why you choose here than say other places for hook ups/dating etc?

Is it that people can be more honest about what they are looking for or who they are here than they can be elsewhere?

What's a 'swinger' ?

Til someone comes up with a valid definition then why can't singles be here for each other?

As far as I'm concerned those that think swinging is just for couples only should join a wife (or of course husband) swapping site.

Swinging has evolved from what it used to be seen as and what so many think it should be.

There's room for everyone.

There is definitely room for everyone. I think that's why I keep coming back!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not a swinger either, it's a very outdated term in my view.

Poly would be closer to it for me, but then the whole 'scene' is very tribal anyway, so swingers are only part of the equation.

There's swingers, tantra, kink, poly, sex positive, all kinds of flavours. Swinger is just a catch-all term really, and not everyone identifies with it. I certainly don't.

There are other sites/apps as well, where the term swinger is never used, at all, literally. And mainly because it's old fashioned - people who don't understand what recreational sex, or poly dating is, tend to use it as a fallback, but I think it sounds like something from the 70's and also conjurs up images of keys in a fruit bowl & all that.

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By *hristopherd999Man over a year ago

Brentwood

I joined because I was looking for occasional sex, nothing more

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By *amierebelMan over a year ago

nae danger.

I'm not really a swinger either just a single bloke looking for the occasional bit of fun, I use this site over others mainly as firstly don't know any other hook up sites an secondly I'm in no way interested in a relationship and wouldn't want to be seen as leading someone on that's my main reasons oh and I love the forums great banter about on them at times

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I didn't join this site to be a swinger. I was looking to experience previously unexplored sexual adventures and this was the first site I found.

I'm not on any other sites and have never gone looking for other more specific outlets.

I had hoped this was as good a place as any to chat to and meet people on similar journeys and so far it has been.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not a swinger either, it's a very outdated term in my view.

Poly would be closer to it for me, but then the whole 'scene' is very tribal anyway, so swingers are only part of the equation.

There's swingers, tantra, kink, poly, sex positive, all kinds of flavours. Swinger is just a catch-all term really, and not everyone identifies with it. I certainly don't.

I'm sad the keys in a bowl thing doesn't happen. Totally burst my bubble when I went to a party

Recreational sex is probably it for me,though I'm not really a fan of labels.

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By *hrek101Man over a year ago

Herts

Good question, not a swinger, no interest in sex clubs etc. Single and enjoy female company in all forms, seemed a good place to potentially find that. Not found that

, but I enjoy the flirting that can happen to make me feel better about myself and the forums can be fun and interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I never really thought about it. I just googled bicurious years ago and fab came up so I joined. I’ve never been a swinger and never will be yet I’ve always found what I wanted here and had some amazing times. I’m not really bothered if people think I shouldn’t be here. I’m probably the opposite of what the site is about but it’s worked for me. "

I think that's the secret. Use the tools of the site to do whatever works for you.

Like you, I've had some great experiences and I doubt I'm really what the site was ever set up for .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good question, not a swinger, no interest in sex clubs etc. Single and enjoy female company in all forms, seemed a good place to potentially find that. Not found that

, but I enjoy the flirting that can happen to make me feel better about myself and the forums can be fun and interesting. "

I think the occasional ego boost is a very welcome bonus of hanging out here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that's the secret. Use the tools of the site to do whatever works for you.

Like you, I've had some great experiences and I doubt I'm really what the site was ever set up for ."

The term is about as outdated as the website! (I mean this affectionately dear mods!)

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By *he love catsCouple over a year ago

South Wales

Yes we look at ourselves as swinger's and our usual thing is to full swap with other couples, but I think we are changing our whole outlook lately and have chatted about meeting with single men or women for a change to see if we would like that too. Yes swinging is changing it's not as it used to be but I'm totally happy with the situation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us. "

Wrong.

Definition of a swinger here.

'A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.'

2 singles just meeting for sex are not swingers though.

I suspect some women use this site because they can meet men they truly desire who might not be interested in dating them in the false hope that they could date them.

And some are disappointed when the reality hits.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"… I think it sounds like something from the ’70s and also conjours up images of keys in a fruit bowl and all that."

I kinda like that though. I quite like that the word ‘swingers’ feels a little retro. A bit Abigail’s Party. A little bit naff, even.

For me, that daft British edge to the word stops it all feeling too serious. Because some people can take it all so bloody seriously. It’s about sex. It’s supposed to be fun. And that includes the occasional bit of falling off the bed and collapsing in a heap of giggles.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us.

Wrong.

Definition of a swinger here.

'A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.'

2 singles just meeting for sex are not swingers though.

I suspect some women use this site because they can meet men they truly desire who might not be interested in dating them in the false hope that they could date them.

And some are disappointed when the reality hits. "

Other way round for me. I’ve found the men often want more than I’m willing or able to give

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I’m not a swinger. I was here for sex between relationships, but unfortunately the casual sex malarkey gets a bit old after awhile.

Currently not wanting sex or a relationship so I’m just here for the cock photos and the entertainment that is the forums.

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man over a year ago

DUBLIN

At least here is honest about your intentions and what you want. On other dating sites you have to pretend otherwise. Here's there is no pretence

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By *agertha73Couple over a year ago

Cardiff

We're barely swingers. Occasionally we have though... we do enjoy being flirtatious, paying compliments and being open x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's all semantics really, and people get very precious about labels.

I think the best catch-all term is 'recreational sex' but that's not so snappy is it?

Recreationalsex.com just doesn't have the same ring to it. Much as I abhor the swinger term.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

I wouldn't class myself as a swinger either despite having a solo profile & a profile with my husband, I am really not into couple swaps which in my mind is what swinging traditionally is (I know that's probably an outdated view)

We both just happen to enjoy having sex with other people so came here so we could do it in the open rather than behind anyone's back, plus I've always enjoyed a threesome & fab is a great place to find an extra single guy or three

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By *ormorantMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What’s in a name/ label/title..?? It’s who you are not anything else for me…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I call myself a swinger, even though I'm single. I don't mind other people telling me I'm not a swinger though. We all have our own definitions.

I think I would engage on here no matter what my circumstances because I like sex positive websites generally and I'm non monogamous so fit in here better than most places

I don't use fab the way a lot do. I don't use it to find single men or hook up the one or two times I've tried it's just a massive flop so I'm not doing that again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I call myself a swinger, even though I'm single. I don't mind other people telling me I'm not a swinger though. We all have our own definitions.

I think I would engage on here no matter what my circumstances because I like sex positive websites generally and I'm non monogamous so fit in here better than most places

I don't use fab the way a lot do. I don't use it to find single men or hook up the one or two times I've tried it's just a massive flop so I'm not doing that again. "

Yours is an interesting post, in that you use the term swinger, sex positive, non monogamous, and hook up. So 4 different terms in the space of just 3 short paragraphs.

It's a good illustration of the point as a whole, I think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us.

Wrong.

Definition of a swinger here.

'A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.'

2 singles just meeting for sex are not swingers though.

I suspect some women use this site because they can meet men they truly desire who might not be interested in dating them in the false hope that they could date them.

And some are disappointed when the reality hits. "

I think for me men are more attracted to me here and not in the real world. Possibly because on Tinder my profile photo is me and an alpaca rather than getting my boobs out on here .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us.

Wrong.

Definition of a swinger here.

'A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.'

2 singles just meeting for sex are not swingers though.

I suspect some women use this site because they can meet men they truly desire who might not be interested in dating them in the false hope that they could date them.

And some are disappointed when the reality hits.

I think for me men are more attracted to me here and not in the real world. Possibly because on Tinder my profile photo is me and an alpaca rather than getting my boobs out on here . "

It's because of the potential of sex without groundwork or commitment.

They just want to fuck not date.

Value on here doesn't necessarily equate to true value in the real world.

Some women are hitting the metaphorical wall.

These type of men generally have options too they can date younger more fertile women.

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By *ris GrayMan over a year ago

Dorchester

"Prompted by another post (where some very valid points were raised)

I'm curious for the other 'not really a swinger' people, why you choose here than say other places for hook ups/dating etc?

Is it that people can be more honest about what they are looking for or who they are here than they can be elsewhere?

"
men are men its just what you expect of them i suppose, some guys think with their dicks and thats the same on any site /app but most are courteous and give and receive respectful messages

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

Me me me over here hello

Single Pringle and straight only knowingly goes with single guys been in the swinging scene over 15years now but wouldn’t class myself as a Swinger

For me it’s the open and honest attitude (mostly) that people in the lifestyle has, the non judgement and the ability to go to clubs and events and wear as little as you like and show off the sexiness with confidence knowing you’re not being judged the freedom of stripping naked and no one bats an eyelid, it’s the amazing friends I’ve made over the years that share so much more in common than many vanilla friends

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not a swinger nor confess to be or will ever be swayed..I'm here because it's my choice to be....simples

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I came here looking for promiscuous men who had sexual skills, as the dating sites couldn't provide me with that.

Happily I also found compatible submissive's with which I could develop and tailor my bdsm wants and needs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not

I'm a fake and a time waster

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By *ris GrayMan over a year ago

Dorchester

"I'm not

I'm a fake and a time waster "
wonko doesn't bonko

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not

I'm a fake and a time waster wonko doesn't bonko

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was a swingle I was her for fwb sex with no dating BS or blurred lines.. People were more up front about it being sex focused not pretending to date to get sex on dating sites.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here*

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By *arkus1812Man over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

"I'm not a swinger either, it's a very outdated term in my view.

Poly would be closer to it for me, but then the whole 'scene' is very tribal anyway, so swingers are only part of the equation.

There's swingers, tantra, kink, poly, sex positive, all kinds of flavours. Swinger is just a catch-all term really, and not everyone identifies with it. I certainly don't.

I'm sad the keys in a bowl thing doesn't happen. Totally burst my bubble when I went to a party

Recreational sex is probably it for me,though I'm not really a fan of labels.

A friend of mine tells me that there are still the odd "Keys in the bowl" house parties but nothing like they used to be in the 1960s when it was possible to have a choice of two or three parties over a weekend.

You have to bear in mind that there was no internet or mobile phones in those days but the pubs were a useful source of information.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I was a swingle I was her for fwb sex with no dating BS or blurred lines.. People were more up front about it being sex focused not pretending to date to get sex on dating sites. "

Yeah I'd say most men on here are on here purely for sex, women not so much.

You can't blame them for taking advantage of the ratios but you can blame them for being naive when they don't realise the men are only looking for sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can blame them for not being honest about their intentions if they aren't. Having a fwb over a fb is more fun in my opinion - intelligence is sexy & makes for multi-dimentional sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I joined because I was looking for sex not a relationship.

I've been here a matter of weeks have already joined a couple and am planning on attending a club.

Turns out maybe I was a swinger after all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can blame them for not being honest about their intentions if they aren't. Having a fwb over a fb is more fun in my opinion - intelligence is sexy & makes for multi-dimentional sex.

If a woman was on here looking for a relationship and a guy said he was too,

they had sex and then he wasn't interested anymore.

You might sympathise a little with the woman but she should be aware of the environment she is in.

If you can't meet similar people on here that you can in the real world then it's probably too good to be true.

Don't be getting carried away, there is a reason why. You have to be aware and accept it for what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

I wouldn't consider myself a swingers as yet... But if I meet someone which develops into becoming a couple, it would definitely be an option.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't want to date, not looking for a relationship of any kind so I wouldn't do normal dating sites.

Also, I can pull much hotter guys on here than in real life, I like that.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I am a swinger ,just not a very prolific one

I'm half a couple & we do meet other couples for full swap ,just not v often now as my other half has had some health issues in the last couple of years ,plus we've had COVID happening etc.

I just use this profile for the forums,chatting to those I know & attending an odd social.

Hopefully we can get more into meets and clubs in future.

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By *eardedman7Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"I don't want to date, not looking for a relationship of any kind so I wouldn't do normal dating sites.

Also, I can pull much hotter guys on here than in real life, I like that.

Pretty much the same for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue."

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also, I can pull much hotter guys on here than in real life, I like that.

You are aware of the reality though.

You are less likely to get hurt.

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By *d4fun73Man over a year ago

Shipley

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us. "

You don't mind singles being here, well that's very magnamanous of you!

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By *imply DeeWoman over a year ago

Wherever

I have initially joined as a couple with my former partner, with an intention to full couple swap, so I think that fits the definition of swinging. It didn’t work out for different reasons but I stayed for the forum and I was intrigued by the concept of having a community of like minded people.

I don’t class myself as a swinger but I use this site as an opportunity to become one, if circumstances arise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Who's to say I'm not using the men I meet.

I want the boyfriend experience without the farting,mother in law or drama and maybe I might want a few so I don't get bored

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Swinging is an attitude, a state of mind, a rule free, non judgemental practise of sexual expression

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Who's to say I'm not using the men I meet.

I want the boyfriend experience without the farting,mother in law or drama and maybe I might want a few so I don't get bored

Good for you if you're having fun.

Just don't expect too much is what I'm saying and giving you the reason why you get more attention on here than tinder etc.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Swinging is an attitude, a state of mind, a rule free, non judgemental practise of sexual expression "

I like your jokes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Totally agree

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By *orl1971Couple over a year ago

Glasgow

Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

Funny how Fab segmented their sites into FabSwingers and then FabGuys (for gay and bi guys we think) but has not branched out into something like FabSingles. It would certainly help target each site to a particular interest group.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

I definitely don't profess to be a swinger as I am single. I initially joined the site many years ago through a couple I was playing with suggested it.

And although I am not a swinger I am looking for someone to swing with and am completely honest about that in my profile - not the sort of thing I'd put on tinder.

But while I take my time to find someone longer term to swing with, I'm having fun exploring. Win win

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

We were also two singles who met on here, have been married for nearly 8 years now and still meet others. So if singles hadn't been allowed then there's be one less couple here. Actually, a lot less than one, given we know plenty of couples who started out as singles.

If you want to find a particular 'interest group' the site gives you all the tools you need. Just don't search for singles if you're not interested in them and they're existence on Fab will cause you no grief, stress or pain. It'll be almost like they don't exist.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

I know & I was responding to your statement that lots of women are looking for relationships here

They may be ,but so are plenty of men ,theres been several threads started by men about it.

I'm not single now ,but I had men wanting more than fun ,when I was.

Anyone can use fab how they choose to ,as long as they're not harming anyone else.

Have a good day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

I know & I was responding to your statement that lots of women are looking for relationships here

They may be ,but so are plenty of men ,theres been several threads started by men about it.

I'm not single now ,but I had men wanting more than fun ,when I was.

Anyone can use fab how they choose to ,as long as they're not harming anyone else.

Have a good day

Just from what I have found with my extensive research on here.

Just surprised how many women are.

Yeah it only irks me when they are moaning and judging swingers doing swinging things on a swinging website, on the swinging forum.

Like have too many verifications, action shots etc.

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By *orl1971Couple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

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By *hathappensnowCouple over a year ago

Rotherham

We don’t mind them being here though before anyone jumps up and down on us.

You don't mind singles being here, well that's very magnamanous of you!"

It wasn’t meant as a power trip and you know that, jog on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

And you would be correct, the definition of a swinger again.

'A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't class myself as an experienced swinger either.

I stumbled here, and view it as an explorative exercise really.

(Other "dating" type sites i find hugely uninteresting.)

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By *heGateKeeperMan over a year ago

Stratford

I’m not here for sexy times. I’m just here cos it’s a laugh, I learn new shit and the psychology of it all fascinates me

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

But if the site was split so there was a 'Fabsingles' site for them and a 'Fabcouples' site for us......we'd be fucked.

Or not. Obviously.

That's the point I was making.

Swinging has long evolved from couples meeting other couples. Even when that was the general view there were people looking for gangbangs with multiple men and couples that have always sought the elusive bi female unicorns. Old school 'wife swapping' is essentially the old world view of swingers.

That ship sailed many moons ago. Swinging has (rightly) become more inclusive, regardless of single/couple/poly/enm status, gender, sexuality, kink or whatever you're individual characteristics may be.

And long may it continue.

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By *imply DeeWoman over a year ago

Wherever

"I’m not here for sexy times. I’m just here cos it’s a laugh, I learn new shit and the psychology of it all fascinates me

And don’t forget the sociology study bit for a second

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By *ynda1978Woman over a year ago

Somewhere in Liverpool

I joined after a friend told me about it just as COVID was kicking off in March 2020. I thought OK let's have a look never twigged on about the site name.

Wow within the first 12 hours my inbox was hammered with all kinds of messages and pictures. I thought what on earth have I joined (still naively didn't twig). I said to myself this isn't for me and I'm certainly not a swinger, I thought about leaving but each time I logged on I became noisier and started to talk to people. My friend kept checking I was OK.

3 years on I'm still here and love speaking to people, reading the forums.

I've been catfished twice on here and one left me quite frightened so I'm now very cautious and selective.

I log on everyday for mostly the social aspect and each day is never the same.

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By *orl1971Couple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

But if the site was split so there was a 'Fabsingles' site for them and a 'Fabcouples' site for us......we'd be fucked.

Or not. Obviously.

That's the point I was making.

And long may it continue.

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

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By *ornucopiaMan over a year ago

Bexley

I'm loving the use of the term 'occasional'.

Surely they really mean 'the more the merrier'?

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

But if the site was split so there was a 'Fabsingles' site for them and a 'Fabcouples' site for us......we'd be fucked.

Or not. Obviously.

That's the point I was making.

And long may it continue.

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ? "

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

But if the site was split so there was a 'Fabsingles' site for them and a 'Fabcouples' site for us......we'd be fucked.

Or not. Obviously.

That's the point I was making.

And long may it continue.

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ? "

Would be dominoes, lots of women would be on the single site.

Could easily use both though.

Would stop the non swingers.

There is actually a new app like tinder for kinky people.

It's a good idea in my opinion.

More revenue for fab.

Then everybody knows where they stand to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Prompted by another post (where some very valid points were raised)

I'm curious for the other 'not really a swinger' people, why you choose here than say other places for hook ups/dating etc?

Is it that people can be more honest about what they are looking for or who they are here than they can be elsewhere?

Some are here to find a person that's into what they're into , it's as good a place as any for that , those that Swing ..swing ..those that don't ..don't. .. everyone is here for their own reasons, whatever they are .

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By *orl1971Couple over a year ago

Glasgow

"Plenty of definitions of ‘swinging’ on the internet. Maybe if it’s an old fashioned term and possibly ethical non monogamy is a more modern term.

However each definition seem to suggest non monogamy at least on one side of the encounter.

We don’t class two singles playing together as swinging.

How?

We're a couple looking for single men.

Where do you think we'd fit?

You fit in because you and the single guy are participating in ethical non monogamy. We’d class anyone playing with a couple as a swinger. But just an opinion. We don’t make ‘the rules’.

But if the site was split so there was a 'Fabsingles' site for them and a 'Fabcouples' site for us......we'd be fucked.

Or not. Obviously.

That's the point I was making.

And long may it continue.

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

We’ll never know I suppose. You are right regarding bi or gay guys being pariahs on the swinging scene.

Another theory, and it’s just our theory so please don’t shoot us

. Perhaps since the majority of this site seem to be single guys looking for NSA sex that they were worried if it acquired a large proportion of gay single guys, as a hook up place, then it would dilute other interest groups and perhaps lead to people moving to other sites. Better to split around the perspective markets so to speak perhaps

Just an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Not necessarily, an Irish Wolfhound was bred to catch Wolves .

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

We’ll never know I suppose. You are right regarding bi or gay guys being pariahs on the swinging scene.

Another theory, and it’s just our theory so please don’t shoot us

Just an opinion. "

Quite possibly.

Although as I said before, it's not hard to avoid groups you have no interest in on here.

Single males will never dilute the volume of couples seeking couples.

Singles seeking other singles likewise.

It's easy for us to search for sinhke guys that ARE interested in couples, rather than those just looking for singles, simply by ticking a box in the search facility.

There are no end of single women on Fab. They don't impact us in any way. Likewise couples. Likewise anyone out of our age preferences. There could be a million more of them and it still wouldn't affect our use or enjoyment of the site.

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

Easier to chat to. No bullshit as on other dating sites. Gorgeous, confident ladies.

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By *orl1971Couple over a year ago

Glasgow

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

We’ll never know I suppose. You are right regarding bi or gay guys being pariahs on the swinging scene.

Another theory, and it’s just our theory so please don’t shoot us

Just an opinion.

Quite possibly.

Although as I said before, it's not hard to avoid groups you have no interest in on here.

Single males will never dilute the volume of couples seeking couples.

Singles seeking other singles likewise.

It's easy for us to search for sinhke guys that ARE interested in couples, rather than those just looking for singles, simply by ticking a box in the search facility.

Yes you’re right. Single people who actually meet are not an issue.

The problem can be finding people who actually meet. The search tools could be much better and more specific in scope such as ‘find couples who are both straight and into X, Y and Z and have been verified by in person meet in the last 6 months’ which you can’t really do. The more diversity on the site the better the search tools should be so everyone can find what they are looking for without having to spend hours trawling through profiles which don’t match your interests.

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

We’ll never know I suppose. You are right regarding bi or gay guys being pariahs on the swinging scene.

Another theory, and it’s just our theory so please don’t shoot us

Just an opinion.

Quite possibly.

Although as I said before, it's not hard to avoid groups you have no interest in on here.

Single males will never dilute the volume of couples seeking couples.

Singles seeking other singles likewise.

It's easy for us to search for sinhke guys that ARE interested in couples, rather than those just looking for singles, simply by ticking a box in the search facility.

Yes you’re right. Single people who actually meet are not an issue.

I always meet. I, however, don't meet many people's 'wants'. Never mind

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Covent Garden

I'm not a swinger in the traditional sense (whatever that is), and I don't possess any •extreme• or •unconventional• kinks. Fab, sort of, found me by way of an introduction from a colleague when I was at a sexual juncture in my life.

At the time I presumed that mainstream apps were focused on serious dating or finding a life partner. On here I'm looking for substance, an emotional connection of sorts and 'enhanced friendships' without the full commitment of a spousal relationship.

It serves me well. I have no regrets.

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

We take your point and would be interested in your view as to why Fab spun out FabGuys when FabSwingers is a site for all with an interest in sex ?

I guess there was a demand for it.

Let's face it. Bi guys have always been social pariahs to many in the swinging scene, whereas bi women are an attractive bonus.

Maybe the owners saw a gap in the market? Maybe they wanted to provide a safe space for them? I suspect if there was sufficient demand there'd be a similar 'Fabgirls' site?

There used to be a 'Fabflirts' site - not sure it still exists - geared more for more 'open' dating. That was probably the closest to a Fabsingles site.

We’ll never know I suppose. You are right regarding bi or gay guys being pariahs on the swinging scene.

Another theory, and it’s just our theory so please don’t shoot us

Just an opinion.

Quite possibly.

Although as I said before, it's not hard to avoid groups you have no interest in on here.

Single males will never dilute the volume of couples seeking couples.

Singles seeking other singles likewise.

It's easy for us to search for sinhke guys that ARE interested in couples, rather than those just looking for singles, simply by ticking a box in the search facility.

Yes you’re right. Single people who actually meet are not an issue.

Here's what we do.

When we browse and find profiles we're not interested in we block them.

Guarantees they'll never show up again and that future searches won't take hours.

You can boost your chances using advanced search. Most of what you mentioned is there. Verified (but not within 6 months). You can select interests but then that assumes they've listed everything accurately and that they'd be willing to do those things with everyone - unlikely. Straight? No option there but again, just block anyone bi that you come across.

Even in big cities there aren't hundreds of potential meets even using the loosest filters, so after a couple of searches you'll have eliminated most of the people you wouldn't want to meet.

It's a seriously effective way to browse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Not necessarily, an Irish Wolfhound was bred to catch Wolves .

Yeah.

Just means you have to think like one.

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By *heGateKeeperMan over a year ago

Stratford

"I’m not here for sexy times. I’m just here cos it’s a laugh, I learn new shit and the psychology of it all fascinates me

And don’t forget the sociology study bit for a second

Haha no chance. I’m convinced I’ll be proven right

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By *imply DeeWoman over a year ago

Wherever

"I’m not here for sexy times. I’m just here cos it’s a laugh, I learn new shit and the psychology of it all fascinates me

And don’t forget the sociology study bit for a second

Haha no chance. I’m convinced I’ll be proven right "

Ha! The countdown is on. 23 days to go.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not a swinger, never classed myself as one and never will. Joined to find NSA sex which I did at the time. A year later I found my amazing other half and a relationship I wasn't looking for. We don't play with couples and I have no interest in full swap. We are poly and looking for something more than a quick fuck. He was a swinger when I met him, but he's a bit rubbish at it now

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I meant on dating sites, not here. I preferred here as I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I'm married now so thankfully a moot issue.

Yeah same applies on dating sites

If your matches don't look like they do on here you have to understand why that is.

Not a moot issue for the op though, lots of women on here who are looking for a relationship and think they're being conned when a guy just uses them.

Lots of people men and women are open to more than fun

As long as everyone's honest and upfront I don't see an issue .

It's when people deceive others it becomes one.

Of course, there isn't an issue if it's mutual.

To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Not necessarily, an Irish Wolfhound was bred to catch Wolves .

Yeah.

Just means you have to think like one. "

I know exactly what you mean

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