Been there, seen it, done it all,
Five, eleven, cock quite small!
On here, my heart I’ll try to mend,
Sadly marriage had to end!
I’m like a fifty year old surf dude,
And into stuff that’s pretty rude!
On head is mop of wavy grey hair,
Smooth elsewhere, I’m not a bear!
Most think I’m really off my head,
But need some raunchy fun in bed!
I like to sit and sip cold cans,
I’ve got one of those kids that’s trans!
My other lad, he sells cars,
It’s not my thing, I’m into bars!
For fifty, I’m extremely fit,
But wake up weekends feeling shit!
Not type to have a private reg,
Have allotment, grow my own veg!
Not much left on bucket list,
Travelled world getting pissed!
Silver anniversary wasn’t my thing,
But right girl would get wedding ring!
I’m moving fast. I’ve got a cheek,
I only left my wife last week!
You’ll never see me read a book,
I’ll be in kitchen, like to cook!
I’m generous, certainly not mean,
And you should try my lamb tagine!
DIY stuff, that’s my skill,
I’d fix your leaks, there’d be no bill!
If you’re a girl with a perfect ass,
I’d trim your hedge and cut your grass!
Got to have a little boast,
Ran marathons. New York. Gold Coast!
Some think I’m a dumb ass tube,
Can do the 6x6 Rubik’s cube!
Social distancing, I have a goal,
To find a girl with glory hole!
Never again will life be drab,
I've not looked back since I joined Fab!
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