FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Respectful disagreement
Respectful disagreement
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It's becoming increasingly difficult. It seems that language is almost being stretched, in different corners of the internet, to create almost subdialects. So "woke" "virtue signalling" etc provoke eye rolls from me while someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum use them unironically. Without common language, the most fundamental building blocks, how can we share ideas that are seen in a common light? Do we even have a shared reality anymore? |
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By *omad77Man
over a year ago
Sheffield |
My friends and I always love a good debate where we don't agree, it never ends terribly between us and we're always able to respect the others opinion even if we oppose or disagree, we've always stayed friends and always make sure we can laugh about it. Can never seem to find others that can be so civil about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A dying art?
Discuss ..."
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues. |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues. "
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"A dying art?
Discuss ..."
Situationally dependant. Often based entirely on who's involved.
It's perfectly possible to respect differing opinions and views. It's much easier when they're presented in a sensible manner of course and not just thrown out there as a hand grenade comment, or as an unsubstaintiated 'fact' devoid of any rational or logical argument, evidence or proof.
People get passionate about their own opinions of course, but also about the view of others when they find them either completely offensive, irrational or lacking any thought.
When discussions get heated it's not always because people disagree with a notion.
It's how it's delivered by the other party and the motive for saying something in the first place.
You can be 100% right and yet still come across as a grade A twat in your delivery.
A |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ..."
I have been guilty of getting a little frustrated and hot headed at work when debating matters with colleagues, so I’m far from innocent on that score. But it is usually a subject about which I am passionate or directly invested, so I champion causes.
On Fab, I try to be balanced because we are such a diverse bunch. That said, I have uttered the exact words of “Respectfully, I disagree” and set out my rationale.
What I refuse to do is engage in personal attacks or sniping at comments/views. And I hate it when people do.
The world is a wonderful place full of wonderful people - how boring would it be if we all thought the same?
Debate is good and healthy. It’s just such a shame the 642 morons we elect to debate on our behalf in parliament cannot conduct themselves with sufficient decorum to secure our collective confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People start crying when there’s adult conversations to be had
Or people interpret disagreement as crying, emotional, etc."
I think some cry when I say vag is life. I like what I like init |
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With strangers on the internet,would say yes.Many ppl think their opinion is the only right opinion.
With friends we've many different debates/views about all manner of things.Its good to see/hear why others think/see things differently to you. |
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Definitely a dying art. I used to love debating topics and find that common ground on opinions or politely disagree and let no harm come between.
Unless it’s going to cause harm, violence, racist attacks or incite etc, then you’re going to get hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A dying art?
Discuss ..."
Yes very much so.
You are instantly labelled all sort
Sorts of things for having different opinions. Resorting to personal insults when they can't back up their opinions.
Quite immature behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?"
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes. And no.
I think that there are still those who enjoy a good debate and do it successfully, by which I mean they engage with another's ideas, are respectful and don't fall back on ad hominem slants to their points, don't patronise or think their views carry more validity because they're delivered more loudly. There are several posters who spring to mind easily and I enjoy reading their posts in debates.
I think that too oft people think that if you disagree with their view, you dislike them. It's not their point you have an issue with/don't believe, it's them. And that's when it descends into chaos. Occasionally amusing but chaos nonetheless. Which is a shame really because I think it's good to have a wealth of viewpoints brought to the fora.
I don't want to live in a tedious echo chamber of sycophancy, I like those who can challenge me. Love new information I haven't considered rather than assuming I know it all. So few challenge me and I get away with typing absolute bollocks, it's always a tiny bit thrilling when someone does.
 |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought."
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes. And no.
I think that there are still those who enjoy a good debate and do it successfully, by which I mean they engage with another's ideas, are respectful and don't fall back on ad hominem slants to their points, don't patronise or think their views carry more validity because they're delivered more loudly. There are several posters who spring to mind easily and I enjoy reading their posts in debates.
I think that too oft people think that if you disagree with their view, you dislike them. It's not their point you have an issue with/don't believe, it's them. And that's when it descends into chaos. Occasionally amusing but chaos nonetheless. Which is a shame really because I think it's good to have a wealth of viewpoints brought to the fora.
I don't want to live in a tedious echo chamber of sycophancy, I like those who can challenge me. Love new information I haven't considered rather than assuming I know it all. So few challenge me and I get away with typing absolute bollocks, it's always a tiny bit thrilling when someone does.
"
Eloquently put.
 |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought.
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation?"
Some people don't keep it within the walls of the forum and use their profile text and status updates to continuously dig at people whom they claim have offended them.
Others even start secondary threads to have a rant about how offended they are about someone on another thread and how they know so many others are discussing them behind their backs.
How do we know they are actually offended? We don't really but it's all about perception on here and there are plenty of people who will rush to their aid if they shout about the offence while ignoring who pulled the pin in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people are right some people are wrong,some people are more right than others, some people think they are right all the time some people are wrong all the time,some people......oh forget it |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought.
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation?
Some people don't keep it within the walls of the forum and use their profile text and status updates to continuously dig at people whom they claim have offended them.
Others even start secondary threads to have a rant about how offended they are about someone on another thread and how they know so many others are discussing them behind their backs.
How do we know they are actually offended? We don't really but it's all about perception on here and there are plenty of people who will rush to their aid if they shout about the offence while ignoring who pulled the pin in the first place. "
Oh, there's bad behaviour on all levels and all sides, but I suspect some people jump to "offended" as a way to stifle argument.
You prefer Marmite and I prefer Vegemite? How dare you be so horrendously offended by Vegemite, you're stifling my free speech blah blah blah.
... Maybe you just prefer Vegemite and have good reason to?
(I'm using a ridiculous example on purpose) |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought.
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation?
Some people don't keep it within the walls of the forum and use their profile text and status updates to continuously dig at people whom they claim have offended them.
Others even start secondary threads to have a rant about how offended they are about someone on another thread and how they know so many others are discussing them behind their backs.
How do we know they are actually offended? We don't really but it's all about perception on here and there are plenty of people who will rush to their aid if they shout about the offence while ignoring who pulled the pin in the first place.
Oh, there's bad behaviour on all levels and all sides, but I suspect some people jump to "offended" as a way to stifle argument.
You prefer Marmite and I prefer Vegemite? How dare you be so horrendously offended by Vegemite, you're stifling my free speech blah blah blah.
... Maybe you just prefer Vegemite and have good reason to?
(I'm using a ridiculous example on purpose)"
You prefer Marmite. I know what I mean |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yes. And no.
I think that there are still those who enjoy a good debate and do it successfully, by which I mean they engage with another's ideas, are respectful and don't fall back on ad hominem slants to their points, don't patronise or think their views carry more validity because they're delivered more loudly. There are several posters who spring to mind easily and I enjoy reading their posts in debates.
I think that too oft people think that if you disagree with their view, you dislike them. It's not their point you have an issue with/don't believe, it's them. And that's when it descends into chaos. Occasionally amusing but chaos nonetheless. Which is a shame really because I think it's good to have a wealth of viewpoints brought to the fora.
I don't want to live in a tedious echo chamber of sycophancy, I like those who can challenge me. Love new information I haven't considered rather than assuming I know it all. So few challenge me and I get away with typing absolute bollocks, it's always a tiny bit thrilling when someone does.
Eloquently put.
"
Thank you.  |
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"Yes. And no.
I think that there are still those who enjoy a good debate and do it successfully, by which I mean they engage with another's ideas, are respectful and don't fall back on ad hominem slants to their points, don't patronise or think their views carry more validity because they're delivered more loudly. There are several posters who spring to mind easily and I enjoy reading their posts in debates.
I think that too oft people think that if you disagree with their view, you dislike them. It's not their point you have an issue with/don't believe, it's them. And that's when it descends into chaos. Occasionally amusing but chaos nonetheless. Which is a shame really because I think it's good to have a wealth of viewpoints brought to the fora.
I don't want to live in a tedious echo chamber of sycophancy, I like those who can challenge me. Love new information I haven't considered rather than assuming I know it all. So few challenge me and I get away with typing absolute bollocks, it's always a tiny bit thrilling when someone does.
"
Oh Meli I  this.
I really enjoy a good discussion and I enjoy having my views challenged. I like to test my own views and beliefs and I don't want to live my entire life in an echo chamber.
When opinions vary wildly I want to be able to ask a lot of questions to understand how two people can be faced with the same set of facts or circumstances yet come up with such differing conclusions.
I love a good exchange of views where nobody feels as though they have to "win" at all costs.
There are maybe two sites online where I can do that and it doesn't descend into squabbling and name-calling. Thankfully in real life I have friends with many varying viewpoints and we have some great discussions over coffee and cake! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought.
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation?"
I know they're offended when they comment saying they've been offended, outraged or words along those lines in response to another forumite's comments. Never claimed to be a mind reader. |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?
Adults have disagreements and move on.
People who think the world revolves around them get offended.
There are a handful of people in the world whose opinions truly matter to me, they're the only ones capable of offending me. A faceless profile spouting nonsense or the ramblings of a stuffed vagina on a swingers forum don't deserve a second thought.
How is it possible to know what a faceless profile is thinking when they're writing on a forum?
Are they offended, or is that your interpretation?
I know they're offended when they comment saying they've been offended, outraged or words along those lines in response to another forumite's comments. Never claimed to be a mind reader."
Fair enough. I just think - per my first comment - that language has been weaponised and that certain words and concepts are directly used to lay waste to any hope of respectful discourse.
It wasn't a pointed question at you. |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ..."
No... plenty of people on TV , radio, online and in real life debate and disagree agreeably.
However what is relatively new and increasing is the rise of opinions instead of facts, blatant gaslighting, combined alongside with a more aggressive ( trolling) attitude.
So it's not dying....no...it just lives in tandem with something else entirely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
No... plenty of people on TV , radio, online and in real life debate and disagree agreeably.
However what is relatively new and increasing is the rise of opinions instead of facts, blatant gaslighting, combined alongside with a more aggressive ( trolling) attitude.
So it's not dying....no...it just lives in tandem with something else entirely."
We respectfully disagree.  |
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"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Yes. Totally. It’s rife in the forums. Someone posts a message that does not break any rules or go outside any guidelines. Something they are totally entitled to express.
Then others read it and feel they have the right to not be offended by what has been stated. Wake up. You don’t !
An argument often ensues.
What's the difference between being offended and disagreement?"
Bloody big difference! There are many things that I can disagree with you or any other person about, but defend to the death your right to hold those views. But there are many arseholes whose very existence offends me so much that if I was on a submarine they would deserve nothing better than shoving into the nearest airlock and pressing the "cycle" button... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A dying art?
Discuss ...
Wow I missed this earlier
You know that you and I can happly
And respectfully disagree.
Love debating with you ."
But is that a rarity these days? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. Part of respectfully disagreeing includes expanding on your point as to why you disagree which is lost over social media by people who want to get their point across to those with short attention spans in as few characters as possible, and therefore a civilized debate can't happen as you can't judge the tone of voice either.
You also lose that human element of respect over the internet if you feel like you're just arguing with a screen as opposed to seeing that a very real person is behind it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everyone comes here for a debate though. Some just want to put across their own personal opinion on the particular subject matter and that’s it.
A lot of us don’t have the time, desire or inclination to have to justify every point we make with long drawn out forum debates. |
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