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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My eldest daughter is leaving school this year and wants to go off to college. Not a problem you say just let her go !!
But she has special needs and although she is 16 this year she is at least 2yrs/3yrs behind her peers, she was even held back in primary school because she was so far behind and did year 3 twice, so when it came to her going into year 5, i was told that because of puberty etc she would have to go up into Secondry with the peers of her own age consequently she completely missed yr 5 straight to yr 6. I have found a course which she wants to do at our nearest college and they do have a good understanding of special needs and help is put into place, that is fantastic with me. BUT AND IT IS A BIG BUT!!!!
Her father (my ex) wants to put her in as an average student and make her work like one.
I am the prime carer for both my daughters and he only has them 4 nights a week, so i think i should have the right to proceed the way i know is best for my daughter and not throw her into the lions den just like he wants !!
This is very critical time for her as this could map her future!!
What do you think, am i wrong and say nothing about her needs like my ex wants or am i right in getting the help that she needs to proceed in life !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you should seek advice from the college where trained staff will have a better understanding of how make sure students with specific special needs are given the best options available…  |
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As a mother to a teenager with slight special needs myself, I would seek as much advice as possible from the chosen college as the above posters have suggested.
Only got 2 years to go until I'm in this situation, good luck xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My boy is 13 with special needs and i had no option but for him to move to a specialist support school from year 6. We'd kept him back at year 2!
My son's school has a 6th form which takes kids that have managed in main stream high school but aren't yet ready for college. They then move to a local college at 18. Maybe your local area has a similar system?
Not easy is it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seek advice as others have said but would it not be a good idea to discuss it with your daughter to to know her thoughts aswell!!"
She knows what she wants to do and where to go, but has difficulty in putting words together that makes sense. She will start on the subject in hand and within 5 mins its something completely different, you have to stop her and pull her back to what we are talking about.Her friends find it a right giggle but know her well !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is she statemented? If so the college will be given that information by the school. Children with SEN should be given as much support as possible to reach their full potential and if the college is aware of her needs they will be able to provide her with that.
Good luck
Ruby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seek advice as others have said but would it not be a good idea to discuss it with your daughter to to know her thoughts aswell!!
She knows what she wants to do and where to go, but has difficulty in putting words together that makes sense. She will start on the subject in hand and within 5 mins its something completely different, you have to stop her and pull her back to what we are talking about.Her friends find it a right giggle but know her well !! "
Have you spoke to her about wether she wants to take the support available or do it how your ex is suggesting?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is she statemented? If so the college will be given that information by the school. Children with SEN should be given as much support as possible to reach their full potential and if the college is aware of her needs they will be able to provide her with that.
Good luck
Ruby"
No she is not Statemented, but she is on what Essex call "Action plus" the next down to a statement.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd let the college know of her needs and let them be the deciding factor in how to progress, they see hundreds of students pass through and will know what is best for your daughter.
Maybe they can come to some compromise if you feel she needs support and your ex doesn't, they can tailor the course to suit your daughter, for example induct her into mainstream and give support only as and when she needs it. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I don't think it matters who is the prime carer, if both parents are involved in their child there should be discussion between both and both veiws should be thought equal.
Personally I would get lots of advice from the college etc and ALL make a decision from there. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
" She will start on the subject in hand and within 5 mins its something completely different, you have to stop her and pull her back to what we are talking about."
Sounds like most people on these forums!! 
Joking aside, Im sure the college will be able to give you some great advice and then you can all sit down, look at the options and take it from there. Good luck and Im sure it will work out well x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't understand why your ex would want to put her into a totally new and strange environment without support. Even if she doesn't need it surely it's better to have it in place just in case. I obviously don't know your daughter but the young people I've worked with wouldn't cope without some support.
Best advice is to discuss it with the college senco. Good luck and I hope she does well x |
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