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Same wavelength...?
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"We're not all on the same wavelength when it comes to sex "
Are we physically the same though? I mean there must be some commonalities?
And are we different because of our different experience and backgrounds? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Definitely not , there’s just as much variation in here as there is outside "
So how much are we programmed to like for example certain parts of the sex act, kissing for example?
Nature, nurture or something else as well? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. "
Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?"
Societal influences, peer influences, parental influences, exposure to different things at developmentally important times in life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
"
All cut from the same cloth, made in different patterns though |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
Societal influences, peer influences, parental influences, exposure to different things at developmentally important times in life "
Do you therefore think that if two people came across the same kink they would respond the same way if they had been brought up in a similar way? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
All cut from the same cloth, made in different patterns though "
So like somebody else said, external influences make us like or dislike something sexually? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Masses of variation. I love that. I hate assumptions. "
I do as well, love variation and somebody making assumptions for example that because you are a woman you MUST love oral sex....irritates me.  |
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"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
All cut from the same cloth, made in different patterns though So like somebody else said, external influences make us like or dislike something sexually? "
I think it's nature and nurture.
Offbeat example (for everyone but me) - the ancient Greeks would likely have considered oral a taboo kink. Mouths were disgusting (also, pockets). |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think we're an orchestra. Many people have things in common, like the string section.
But some of us are tubas, bassoons, or piccolos, and stand out from the crowd."
Do we have a somewhat more complicated and difficult life as a result? |
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"I think we're an orchestra. Many people have things in common, like the string section.
But some of us are tubas, bassoons, or piccolos, and stand out from the crowd.Do we have a somewhat more complicated and difficult life as a result? "
Definitely |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
All cut from the same cloth, made in different patterns though So like somebody else said, external influences make us like or dislike something sexually?
I think it's nature and nurture.
Offbeat example (for everyone but me) - the ancient Greeks would likely have considered oral a taboo kink. Mouths were disgusting (also, pockets)."
Interesting - in fairness our mouths ARE a dirty place, no kidding, which is why a human bite that draws blood, can be so dangerous. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"No, I think yes we are all the same instrument but with many variations and we all like to be played and play differently.
Mrs "
Where in your opinion do the variations between us originate? |
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I think that basically we are all the same. We like to think we're different, unusual,quirky, not like all the others. When it comes right down to it and the outer layers are peeled away 99% of us are ordinary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?"
I think the programming is a combination of nature and nurture. So our DNA programming means we might like or dislike some things. Equally our upbringing and life experiences influence what we might find distasteful or unpleasant. So for example a child who is attacked by a dog may always be nervous around dogs after that.
As for kink I don't feel qualified to work out where it comes from lol but I can only imagine it is influenced by a combination of our natural DNA programming and things that we experience in life. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think that basically we are all the same. We like to think we're different, unusual,quirky, not like all the others. When it comes right down to it and the outer layers are peeled away 99% of us are ordinary "
Are you thinking in terms of biochemical reactions etc or stuff that comes from the head, like thoughts etc?
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
I think the programming is a combination of nature and nurture. So our DNA programming means we might like or dislike some things. Equally our upbringing and life experiences influence what we might find distasteful or unpleasant. So for example a child who is attacked by a dog may always be nervous around dogs after that.
As for kink I don't feel qualified to work out where it comes from lol but I can only imagine it is influenced by a combination of our natural DNA programming and things that we experience in life. "
In the same way that makes people with apparently similar dispositions choose very different paths? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
Societal influences, peer influences, parental influences, exposure to different things at developmentally important times in life
Do you therefore think that if two people came across the same kink they would respond the same way if they had been brought up in a similar way? "
Not so much if their upbringings were similar but I think they would if they’d both been exposed to whatever it was in a similar situation.
Eg if two teenagers had a particularly stereotypically sexy teacher who wore black rimmed specs and high heels then they may well both have a thing for sexual partners who wore the same.
Speaking more kinky, if naughty kids got a boner when they were spanked then they may well need spanking to be a part of their adult sex life  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
Societal influences, peer influences, parental influences, exposure to different things at developmentally important times in life
Do you therefore think that if two people came across the same kink they would respond the same way if they had been brought up in a similar way?
Not so much if their upbringings were similar but I think they would if they’d both been exposed to whatever it was in a similar situation.
Eg if two teenagers had a particularly stereotypically sexy teacher who wore black rimmed specs and high heels then they may well both have a thing for sexual partners who wore the same.
Speaking more kinky, if naughty kids got a boner when they were spanked then they may well need spanking to be a part of their adult sex life "
Thinking of that last comment about spanking, I can see that potentially being a massive part in adult sexuality. |
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"I think we're an orchestra. Many people have things in common, like the string section.
But some of us are tubas, bassoons, or piccolos, and stand out from the crowd.Do we have a somewhat more complicated and difficult life as a result?
Definitely "
Yes, definitely x E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
I think the programming is a combination of nature and nurture. So our DNA programming means we might like or dislike some things. Equally our upbringing and life experiences influence what we might find distasteful or unpleasant. So for example a child who is attacked by a dog may always be nervous around dogs after that.
As for kink I don't feel qualified to work out where it comes from lol but I can only imagine it is influenced by a combination of our natural DNA programming and things that we experience in life. In the same way that makes people with apparently similar dispositions choose very different paths? "
Life is full of so many variables, and so many things can influence a path someone takes. So yes 2 apparently similar people could end up on completely different paths. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?
Societal influences, peer influences, parental influences, exposure to different things at developmentally important times in life
Do you therefore think that if two people came across the same kink they would respond the same way if they had been brought up in a similar way?
Not so much if their upbringings were similar but I think they would if they’d both been exposed to whatever it was in a similar situation.
Eg if two teenagers had a particularly stereotypically sexy teacher who wore black rimmed specs and high heels then they may well both have a thing for sexual partners who wore the same.
Speaking more kinky, if naughty kids got a boner when they were spanked then they may well need spanking to be a part of their adult sex life Thinking of that last comment about spanking, I can see that potentially being a massive part in adult sexuality. "
Be interesting to do a survey in say 10/20 years to see if the rate of sexual spanking has dropped since parents have come away from spanking as a punishment in recent times  |
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"No, I think yes we are all the same instrument but with many variations and we all like to be played and play differently.
Mrs Where in your opinion do the variations between us originate? "
Social, personality, life experience, every single thing that makes each and every one of us unique.
Mrs |
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"I think that basically we are all the same. We like to think we're different, unusual,quirky, not like all the others. When it comes right down to it and the outer layers are peeled away 99% of us are ordinary Are you thinking in terms of biochemical reactions etc or stuff that comes from the head, like thoughts etc? "
I'm thinking in terms of base reactions. Survival instinct etc.
In my opinion everything else overlays that and is social conditioning, down to upbringing, experience and life triggers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
All cut from the same cloth, made in different patterns though So like somebody else said, external influences make us like or dislike something sexually? "
Personally I believe we're a product of both nature and nurture, we're born with some inherent traits and dispositions, that either get turned on or off..
And some are a learnt behaviour, slash conditioning through whatever medium that might be, operant, vicarious, postive, negative, the things were told, things we see. Life experience most certainly plays a part. As they say in psychology, only thing in life that is quarenteed is that we're born "tabula rasa" a blank slate, when it comes to behavioural traits.. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I think that basically we are all the same. We like to think we're different, unusual,quirky, not like all the others. When it comes right down to it and the outer layers are peeled away 99% of us are ordinary "
I see what you're saying but I prefer to think of it slightly differently.
We're all basically the same - most (note most - not all)human anatomy is the same from person to person based on gender with variations in size and shape.
But mentally we're all individuals. Based on a combination of experiences, upbringing, education, exposure, familial influences and those of family and peers.
Rather than all being ordinary I like to think we're all exceptional.
And by that I mean unique, rather than exceptional in terms of ability or status.
A |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Definitely not , there’s just as much variation in here as there is outside So how much are we programmed to like for example certain parts of the sex act, kissing for example?
Nature, nurture or something else as well?"
My view after reading a lot of this stuff a few years back is it’s almost all learned behaviour / nurture.
If you’re of reasonable or high intelligence and self aware, instinct plays very little part in your preferences.
Instinct and biology comes into play for survival , knowing what food your body needs , choice of sexual partner for women (not men!)but things higher up Maslows hierarchy like preferences haven’t been around long enough for evolution to have any impact |
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"Are we really, I mean REALLY?
Inspiration came from another thread where somebody said we are all the same (instrument) but like being played differently.
True or not?
"
Definitely not, this site is a meeting place but for all different reasons, lots of guys focus on sex and say in their profiles looking for same thinking people and the badly written profiles reflect their success here, the username sexually motivated the pics all of the cock. So they come to forums and start the sexually motivated threads 'this thread is for women only' to get the interaction with women that they can't get from direct messaging. Some women just come into forums for a laugh and a giggle. Some are here cheating on their partners. Some are looking for relationships. Some are holier than thou. |
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"I think that basically we are all the same. We like to think we're different, unusual,quirky, not like all the others. When it comes right down to it and the outer layers are peeled away 99% of us are ordinary Are you thinking in terms of biochemical reactions etc or stuff that comes from the head, like thoughts etc?
I'm thinking in terms of base reactions. Survival instinct etc.
In my opinion everything else overlays that and is social conditioning, down to upbringing, experience and life triggers. "
Exactly a lot of people are here because the relationships they were in or in some cases still are in have broken down, no sex for years, no interaction, no laughs etc |
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"I would say that we're not all the same instrument. We all have unique personalities,characters and unique bodies so we all act and interact differently. We're more like a symphony orchestra with lots of different instruments making their own unique sound. Nice analogy!
Are we programmed to find some things particularly pleasant and others more distasteful?
Where does so-called kink come from?"
Lots of kinks come from childhood and trauma. I've met people who associate pain with love, one guy who spent a lot of time in hospital as a teen had a big thing for medical play/nurses. |
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"Definitely not , there’s just as much variation in here as there is outside So how much are we programmed to like for example certain parts of the sex act, kissing for example?
Nature, nurture or something else as well?
My view after reading a lot of this stuff a few years back is it’s almost all learned behaviour / nurture.
If you’re of reasonable or high intelligence and self aware, instinct plays very little part in your preferences.
Instinct and biology comes into play for survival , knowing what food your body needs , choice of sexual partner for women (not men!)but things higher up Maslows hierarchy like preferences haven’t been around long enough for evolution to have any impact "
Well said. based on my own reading and experiences I would agree with this. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Wow - thank you for all your diverse and very interesting contributions.
My own stance: I think we have basic similarities and "bodily" functions, responses and needs (Maslow indeed).
But just like there a so many shades of the colour red alone, we also have plenty of nuances, with which we are born.
Then there are the external factors as several people stated, the experience of hospitals possibly nurturing fantasies and kinks in that direction or if spanking in childhood happens around the time of the emerging sexuality, I would be surprised if that association did not foster a kink in that direction. Just examples....
So arguably the longer we live, play, feel and experience... the richer the tapestry of our potential future experiences. Maybe we get kinkier as we age?
But then, some people are slowly going back to the preference of a more vanilla experience.
Interesting either way... whatever lies beneath the murky waters of our sexuality, sensuality and desires. |
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