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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put them in a blender and use them as a face mask. There's still nutrients in there you know.
Can also be used as backup baby food. I mean, they aren't going to complain are they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Poke them through next doors letterbox 
Before or after the penis?"
I don’t have one so the penis is irrelevant 
If however, the neighbour stuck his penis out the other way while I was poking my leftover roast dinner through then we’d have an issue  |
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"Celebrating Grumpy's leftover custard, circa 2019-2020, which shall never be forgotten.
When leftovers have become far too grim to eat, what do you do with them?
Wrong answers only."
Personally I thought my accidental porn distribution thread was my lowest point  |
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"Celebrating Grumpy's leftover custard, circa 2019-2020, which shall never be forgotten.
When leftovers have become far too grim to eat, what do you do with them?
Wrong answers only.
Personally I thought my accidental porn distribution thread was my lowest point "
I love this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I send them into my local Conservative association and make up some bizarre name and call it a traditional English dish only now allowed to be sold again due to Brexit |
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"Celebrating Grumpy's leftover custard, circa 2019-2020, which shall never be forgotten.
When leftovers have become far too grim to eat, what do you do with them?
Wrong answers only."
It all goes in a big pot in the garden to ferment. It slowly breaks down over a few years until I can harvest the resultant slop. It’s carefully separated in my distillery to produce several low quality drinking products.
The top layer, in which there is hardly any solid matter or living organisms, becomes the finest sipping liqueur.
The next level down is the whisky, called Friskey because it’ll blow your bollocks off. Which is handy because there’s no way you’re siring children after this.
Next comes the Slopka. Proper session stuff, albeit with several as yet unidentified and classified swimming creatures. Some floating solid matter but the rest sinks to the bottom.
The penultimate layer produces OutCider. So named because when she drinks it, everything suddenly becomes outside her. Half solid, half liquid; this ‘drink’ is fun at parties but will mainly be bought by 16 year olds.
The final disgusting swill sitting at the bottom is scraped from the bottom of the barrel. This loose solid mass is packaged in old plasterer’s buckets and sent to the House of Commons and served with a sprig of fresh parsley and cracked black pepper. |
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"Celebrating Grumpy's leftover custard, circa 2019-2020, which shall never be forgotten.
When leftovers have become far too grim to eat, what do you do with them?
Wrong answers only.
It all goes in a big pot in the garden to ferment. It slowly breaks down over a few years until I can harvest the resultant slop. It’s carefully separated in my distillery to produce several low quality drinking products.
The top layer, in which there is hardly any solid matter or living organisms, becomes the finest sipping liqueur.
The next level down is the whisky, called Friskey because it’ll blow your bollocks off. Which is handy because there’s no way you’re siring children after this.
Next comes the Slopka. Proper session stuff, albeit with several as yet unidentified and classified swimming creatures. Some floating solid matter but the rest sinks to the bottom.
The penultimate layer produces OutCider. So named because when she drinks it, everything suddenly becomes outside her. Half solid, half liquid; this ‘drink’ is fun at parties but will mainly be bought by 16 year olds.
The final disgusting swill sitting at the bottom is scraped from the bottom of the barrel. This loose solid mass is packaged in old plasterer’s buckets and sent to the House of Commons and served with a sprig of fresh parsley and cracked black pepper."
Sounds hipster  |
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