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Surprise...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please.  |
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Um. I used to be surprised by it all the time when I had no self confidence.
With where I am now I think I'm pretty adept at recognising when someone is into me.
But sometimes there's a pleasant surprise from someone I thought was way too amazing to be interested in my weird chaos  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please. "
Yeah, massively surprised a couple of times. I'm absolutely awful at reading flirty signs, or telling when someone is actually interested. You basically need to tell me straight or I'll just assume you're being nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh hell yes. I said this just recent. I can’t m remember the last time anyone told me a compliment on my looks. And it kind of makes you feel I sexy, and unattractive. So if someone was to say, I want you in my room and I’ll be naked waiting in 5 minutes,…I’d be shocked.
And anyone I have met from here and had something sexy with, even if it was a kiss, I was suprised because some keep there hands very close to their chests. … and they have a lovely chest.  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Honestly, yes.
Though mostly from those that don't know me. Or had no interaction prior.
I'll admit I tend to win people over once they know me. If they had not shown interest prior but then do, it's less of a surprise at least. If that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I was recently very surprised to find out how someone feels about me.
I didn't expect it.
I'm rubbish at reading signs though and have often just thought someone was being friendly when in fact it was because they fancied me.
I've also got myself into bother before because I can be quite flirty in general, and I've had people take that as a sign of genuine intent |
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"Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please.
Yeah, massively surprised a couple of times. I'm absolutely awful at reading flirty signs, or telling when someone is actually interested. You basically need to tell me straight or I'll just assume you're being nice "
This just about sums it up for me. Am always surprised when that kind of interest is shown in me  |
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By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago
Near Warrington |
I am genuinely surprised when I get a nice compliment, and I suppose that's because I'm very ordinary in male mode. It's nice, kind and generous. And I'm not talking about the "I want to shag you" ones, which of course can be the password on occasion lol |
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Yes. I can’t flirt and I have difficulty to make an eye contact so it would take a marching band and an elephant for me to actually notice someone is flirting with me.
For most of the time I just think someone is being nice or has no other options available but I know it all comes from years of childhood trauma and I’m doing my best to heal myself. Fab helps, surprisingly. |
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I’m never surprised that people are attracted to me.
I don’t have two heads or an eye in the middle of my forehead.
I can converse with people on all levels of society and I’m really good at faking sincerity.
I would consider myself as equal to any other when it comes to attractiveness.
This is not a sarcastic post, people should have more faith in themselves.
You, yes YOU, are just as worthy and capable of triggering attraction as anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like others I'm poor at interpreting signs and being able to distinguish between flirting and real intent. But yes I have been very pleasantly surprised a couple of times and it does the world for self confidence. |
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By *rMonkeyMan
over a year ago
Somewhere |
At the moment, yes. Not that it happens often, and I've completely lost my ability to read people, I was good at it.
Pretty sure a lack of self confidence and doubting myself is the reason why. Just can't seem to fix it.
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"I’m never surprised that people are attracted to me.
I don’t have two heads or an eye in the middle of my forehead.
I can converse with people on all levels of society and I’m really good at faking sincerity.
I would consider myself as equal to any other when it comes to attractiveness.
This is not a sarcastic post, people should have more faith in themselves.
You, yes YOU, are just as worthy and capable of triggering attraction as anyone else. "
We know. But we meant attraction that doesn't shrink as the balls do. |
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"Like others I'm poor at interpreting signs and being able to distinguish between flirting and real intent. But yes I have been very pleasantly surprised a couple of times and it does the world for self confidence."
I completely agree. I'm often shocked when people ask to play in clubs. Part may be self confidence but I also think part of it for me is that I love the social and forget other people also want that. Mainly in clubs.
In private meets I ask, but it's always with the same disclaimer that I won't be offended if they say no. |
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Yes, I was approached to meet them when I was single and I was pretty taken aback. I had no inkling that they thought of me that way or would ever want to meet me. But they did and we made it happen.
Tinder x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, there’s been a few times where I’ve had a message off someone and I’ve been genuinely shocked they found me attractive.
As for reading signs, I’m much better at reading them in person rather than on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Until they've seen my face I take it all with a pinch of salt.
Salts all well and good. I like to add some pepper. It’s a bit more spicy. "
Bit of pepper spray and neither of us will care what the other looks like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Until they've seen my face I take it all with a pinch of salt.
Salts all well and good. I like to add some pepper. It’s a bit more spicy.
Bit of pepper spray and neither of us will care what the other looks like "
Well no.. But …..also yes. |
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"I’m never surprised that people are attracted to me.
I don’t have two heads or an eye in the middle of my forehead.
I can converse with people on all levels of society and I’m really good at faking sincerity.
I would consider myself as equal to any other when it comes to attractiveness.
This is not a sarcastic post, people should have more faith in themselves.
You, yes YOU, are just as worthy and capable of triggering attraction as anyone else.
We know. But we meant attraction that doesn't shrink as the balls do."
Did I get it wrong again Granny. (I’m now channeling that Dick Emery character of the father and son in the leather). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like others I'm poor at interpreting signs and being able to distinguish between flirting and real intent. But yes I have been very pleasantly surprised a couple of times and it does the world for self confidence.
I completely agree. I'm often shocked when people ask to play in clubs. Part may be self confidence but I also think part of it for me is that I love the social and forget other people also want that. Mainly in clubs.
In private meets I ask, but it's always with the same disclaimer that I won't be offended if they say no. "
I love the social aspect too. Im not at all surprised you are asked to play... I think your personality helps with that in building up the rapport with people.
Being open helps avoid any misunderstanding so if you wave in my direction I'm not saying no
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Genuinely 100% I am always surprised if someone is attracted to me. It’s not self deprecating, I’m actually quite self confident (I think most people know that).
I’m not surprised so much by the thought that someone could find me attractive. It’s more I’m surprised when I find out, because I honestly hand on heart don’t see the cues. At all. I just quite naively assume that everyone is just being friendly. So there’s a tip for people. With me you actually have to speak it out. (Or just snog my face off - that I understand).
Mrs m |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm awful at reading sexual interest and attraction in me as I'll always interpret it as them being nice or just flirty in a playful way. I find it really surprising when I find that they are genuinely attracted to me and a large part of that is because I really don't know if I'm anyone's type. What I mean by that is you see couples together and it makes sense seeing them with each other, I can't say the same for myself which which makes it tougher to guage that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t read signs on here at all. In person I can if I’m in flirt mode myself. If I’m distracted with something, like at work I tend to miss them until later when I realise…..  |
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I have to be told outwardly that they find me attractive. I don't easily pick up on body-language or any subtle and sexually-charged inflections in their writing manner when they're messaging me, unless the messages are forthright and/or brazen. |
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It always takes me by surprise. It's one thing to exchange messages and joke around with people but if they actually want to go beyond the penpal stage and meet me, it does surprise (and thrill!) me. Whilst I always hope, it also surprises me if after meeting, they are genuinely attracted to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I was recently very surprised to find out how someone feels about me.
I didn't expect it.
I'm rubbish at reading signs though and have often just thought someone was being friendly when in fact it was because they fancied me.
I've also got myself into bother before because I can be quite flirty in general, and I've had people take that as a sign of genuine intent"
I know it's alot me finding you hot Bellaseas but you have to face facts ok! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It always takes me by surprise. It's one thing to exchange messages and joke around with people but if they actually want to go beyond the penpal stage and meet me, it does surprise (and thrill!) me. Whilst I always hope, it also surprises me if after meeting, they are genuinely attracted to me. "
Well could I get to the penpal stage..? |
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"It always takes me by surprise. It's one thing to exchange messages and joke around with people but if they actually want to go beyond the penpal stage and meet me, it does surprise (and thrill!) me. Whilst I always hope, it also surprises me if after meeting, they are genuinely attracted to me.
Well could I get to the penpal stage..? "
Oh, well that certainly took me by surprise!
Yes. |
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"Yea all the time.
I get on far better with woman than men, have more female friends and completely miss the clues when they are interested. "
100% this. And since, going way way back to when I was at school, I'm absolutely terrified of rejection, I never make the first move. I've often been told, years after it was too late, that someone fancied me. But I'd rather miss out on an opportunity for something magical than misread the signs.
Cowardly, but I've been like this for 30 years now, so I don't think it will change now. Sometimes people say I'm aloof or hard to get to know, but it really isn't deliberate. |
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"Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please. "
You mean there’s people in the world that possibly don’t fancy me?? 
Very surprising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please.
You mean there’s people in the world that possibly don’t fancy me??
Very surprising."
you don't have to worry about that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my late teens/early twenties I had a couple of issues with guys in a friendship group going all weird on me, because it turned out they fancied me.
I had no clue, I just thought we were great friends.
I found it quite disappointing too, good male friends who don’t ruin it by trying to fuck you, can be difficult to find  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my late teens/early twenties I had a couple of issues with guys in a friendship group going all weird on me, because it turned out they fancied me.
I had no clue, I just thought we were great friends.
I found it quite disappointing too, good male friends who don’t ruin it by trying to fuck you, can be difficult to find "
This is genuinely an issue for hot women to be fair. But you know. Fuck them? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"In my late teens/early twenties I had a couple of issues with guys in a friendship group going all weird on me, because it turned out they fancied me.
I had no clue, I just thought we were great friends.
I found it quite disappointing too, good male friends who don’t ruin it by trying to fuck you, can be difficult to find "
To be fair teenage hormones and immaturity often still running wild at that stage so will often blind them. For some that attitude never goes.
There are more guys out there than you think that value the friendship over actual lust. |
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I'm terrible at reading signs. Even if they straight out say it I genuinely think it's cus they're desperate for a shag.
Hubs goes mad but it's kinda just how I am. I don't see it and when I do feel "hot" at a club or something noone ever speaks to me anyway lol so that kinda backs up my "evidence". I don't have a resting bitch face and will talk to anyone but scared of approaching and being told nah sorry. Yes even at 40 I'm like a scared virgin
Until its time to play that is...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes, if I haven't previously picked up on the signals, which is most of the time. Quite often I just think someone is being friendly only to get told later that they were madly flirting.
I'm not surprised that some people will find me attractive. I'm a firm believer that everyone will float someone's boat.
Nell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you/have you been surprised when you find out someone finds you sexually attractive before?
Or how they feel about you?
Would you generally say you're quite good at reading sexual interest/thoughts on you?
No self deprecating, "yes, all the time because no one ever fancies me nonsense." Please. "
Very aware I'm no Adonis, or oil painting.
Just a machine.
Not universally attractive, kind of get told 'Theres something about you'
I think I'm pretty good at reading signals though. |
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I'm not the best at reading signs to be fair, I've had to be told on occasion by female colleagues when someone was flirting with me and I was oblivious 
I'm always pleasantly surprised to find out someone is attracted to me |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I’m pretty good at reading the signs, body language and gestures if meeting in person say at a social
As for me I’m pretty straightforward in letting someone know if I find them hot. Life is too short for missed opportunities |
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Yes, I'm quite often surprised on here, where there have definitely been a few people who I've been really surprised/flattered have messaged.
Less so in real life where I think I'm ok at reading body language, and can normally tell if someone fancies me, though I'll be very careful not to over-assume and might still then miss the opportunity to do anything about it, though! |
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I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm always surprised. Not in a self depreciating "no one ever fancies me" way, I've had partners and been married (and have a partner now), so clearly people have fancied me.
But I don't see it. Past the "you have boobs and that's all I need to get a boner" of course.
I'm especially surprised when someone I find attractive actually returns the feeling... mostly I just think they want to be friends.
Comes from a lifetime of usually being the friend watching others pair off, and of being seriously put down by exes, randomers and strangers. I do try not to listen to their voices in my head when someone flatters me, but it's hard.
So yes, I'm surprised.
Except obviously when the Hemsworth and the Hiddlestone start fighting over me. That will come as no shock  |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc"
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends "
Then I think it would a ah ok moment but not overly a surprise that they value friendship first.
Ftr I'm not sure admitting that you find someone attractive means making a move on a swingers site
Marc |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc"
What about if they tell you in private? |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they tell you in private?"
Very good question. For me it’s about why it’s only in private. If they are gushing about many other people on the forums then I question it
Marc |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends
Then I think it would a ah ok moment but not overly a surprise that they value friendship first.
Ftr I'm not sure admitting that you find someone attractive means making a move on a swingers site
Marc "
To some it might. It depends on their comfort levels of admitting attraction I guess. Some think a wink is making a move for instance
I'd say as friends it's harder to say, as they don't want to ruin the friendship, especially if the attraction is not reciprocated
And as I'm old, what does Ftr stand for |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends
Then I think it would a ah ok moment but not overly a surprise that they value friendship first.
Ftr I'm not sure admitting that you find someone attractive means making a move on a swingers site
Marc
To some it might. It depends on their comfort levels of admitting attraction I guess. Some think a wink is making a move for instance
I'd say as friends it's harder to say, as they don't want to ruin the friendship, especially if the attraction is not reciprocated
And as I'm old, what does Ftr stand for "
For the record |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends
Then I think it would a ah ok moment but not overly a surprise that they value friendship first.
Ftr I'm not sure admitting that you find someone attractive means making a move on a swingers site
Marc
To some it might. It depends on their comfort levels of admitting attraction I guess. Some think a wink is making a move for instance
I'd say as friends it's harder to say, as they don't want to ruin the friendship, especially if the attraction is not reciprocated
And as I'm old, what does Ftr stand for "
I’m old too and forgetful but I think the op was about have you ever been surprised that someone fancied you
I’m not sure how we got into this rabbit hole
Marc |
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Yes, I have had this happen to me, it was a very nice surprise.
I'm rubbish at reading any signs.
I'm quite shy, I struggle with what to say (or reply if a message) and this doesn't help. I was an outgoing person until a few yrs ago.
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On the forums, fairly clueless, I can't really tell the difference between flirty banter and genuine interest.
In our inbox, people find us attractive from the neck down and still want to meet after face pics.
I can usually, but not always, tell in person so there have been some definite surprises. We've been married for 20 years and it was only last summer that we started going to clubs. So I'm very out of practise at recognising the signals
J |
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"I would have to say no though there is 2 parts to this.
Firstly I don’t put people in a higher level than me so no must meet list or celebrity fab list.
Secondly I’m way too old to mess around playing games. We can all be adults and admit attraction early on or not. If someone secretly finds me attractive but wouldn’t say so on the forum if they are a forum user then it’s a no go from me.
There might be a oh ok moment but I wouldn’t call it a surprise as I like to know peoples intentions up front.
Marc
What about if they find you hot, but wholeheartedly respect your relationship and its boundaries, so wouldn't consider making a move, as they are happy to have you both as friends
Then I think it would a ah ok moment but not overly a surprise that they value friendship first.
Ftr I'm not sure admitting that you find someone attractive means making a move on a swingers site
Marc
To some it might. It depends on their comfort levels of admitting attraction I guess. Some think a wink is making a move for instance
I'd say as friends it's harder to say, as they don't want to ruin the friendship, especially if the attraction is not reciprocated
And as I'm old, what does Ftr stand for
I’m old too and forgetful but I think the op was about have you ever been surprised that someone fancied you
I’m not sure how we got into this rabbit hole
Marc"
Totally my fault. I like to waffle and look at things from different perspectives |
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