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What do you think?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
That needs some thinking about lol x"
Yeh. I just read it somewhere and it had me put my coffee down and think for a moment.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Hmmm. Possibly.
I think what I lacked has resulted in my wariness to seek it out in adult relationships because a part of me doesn't believe I deserve it. Doesn't believe anyone could. That's only a small part of me though! When I'm emo-ing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting quote op. I'm not sure. I think we consciously or unconsciously continue the pattern and seek out the same dynamic (even if only briefly before we become more aware) So if we felt unloved/ unimportant as a child,a relationship with a similar dynamic would feel familiar and comfortable because that is what we have known and come to expect. The pattern can of course be broken. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
A bike?"
I was going to say - Sure, I want Spider-Man themed birthday parties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
A bike?
I was going to say - Sure, I want Spider-Man themed birthday parties. "
You still can, Woody. It's not too late. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I don't think that's true for me at all but I am very aware I am immensely lucky to have a loving and supportive family, which they always have been.
I think I look for the consistency and love I had growing up  |
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We grew up in different times, without the internet and mobile phones. So the way people interact or can interact is a lot more now. Awareness is also a lot more.
I agree with the sentiment though as I strive to alway be open and approachable with my children and be there for them.
K
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think that's true for me at all but I am very aware I am immensely lucky to have a loving and supportive family, which they always have been.
I think I look for the consistency and love I had growing up "
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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago
East Yorkie |
Yeh i think so. As a child i was constantly bullied and put down by others and lacked any sort of confidence. Socially awkward’ always in the background. Social media can help with that its like a mask but it can also bring things crashed back to normal pretty quick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
So true  "
This was very much me a few years ago (difficult mom/sibling relationship. ..)
I identified this then worked on myself |
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Not for me, at least not consciously. But I can see why it might be true for some, especially (only?) if talking about LTR and seeking belonging, security and stability that they may have felt they missed in childhood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
"
I believe this is true.
But I'm not sure I like the personal implications this has for my life.  |
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Absolutely, I like to think I'm doing pretty well at attaining what I feel I lacked during a difficult childhood. I won't let people's past mistakes affect the role I play in my children's lives or how I work at my marriage x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
"
I think more, what i lacked in childhood defined me as an adult and was instrumental in my decision not to carry on my gene pool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
"
This is one of those questions with a non definitive answer because people's opinions and thoughts will be based around their own experiences
Some say yay, some say nay.
As an academic I would say humans are biologically driven to be social....our early interactions and attachments shape us so yes your statement could be true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
"
Nope , never wanted to be the centre of attention as a kid don't want it now and certainly don't want it in a relationship , to be with a woman that wants to be the centre of attention..that they think the World rotates around them ..?.. absolutely no thanks . |
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Control and discipline? I had a pretty free, occasionally wild childhood, the product of parents who partied hard when they weren't taking in numerous waifs and strays!
Maybe there is something to it...
Cherry x |
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"Not sure on relationships but certainly with food! Alot of what I remember as a child revolved around being hungry! Have to try and keep cuboards/fridge/freezer well stocked these days x"
I hadn't thought of that one. I don't remember being hungry but there were a lot of us and we always had half a tomato each and mum would cut mars bars into sections for us. I vowed that I would always eat whole tomatoes, whole mars bars and whole Tim's of soup when I grew up  .
The funny thing is I doubt I could eat a while mars bar and nowadays I doubt I could buy a tomato |
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"Not sure on relationships but certainly with food! Alot of what I remember as a child revolved around being hungry! Have to try and keep cuboards/fridge/freezer well stocked these days x
I hadn't thought of that one. I don't remember being hungry but there were a lot of us and we always had half a tomato each and mum would cut mars bars into sections for us. I vowed that I would always eat whole tomatoes, whole mars bars and whole Tim's of soup when I grew up .
The funny thing is I doubt I could eat a while mars bar and nowadays I doubt I could buy a tomato "
Ha ha yes true! Tbh I eat a lot less these days 2! Were 5 of us children parents did their best both worked ! We did allways have a holiday though! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say it applies to those who act infantile as adults? So called "daddy/mummy issues" working it's way to surface sometimes in very strange ways.
Other than that I think I seek the relation I have seen to be working, surviving and thriving. A recreation of that. Not filling the gaps of for example not feeling loved enough or other stereotypical things like absentee parent being replaced by someone acting in that capacity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”
"
No, but what I got and what I witnessed is what I'll never tolerate or accept or seek. |
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"Not for me, but what I packed in childhood I make sure my children don't.
Mrs "
Pretty much this. I've modelled my adult and parenting life on doing precisely the opposite to my parents. I have my maternal grandparents as role models. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not for me, but what I packed in childhood I make sure my children don't.
Mrs
Pretty much this. I've modelled my adult and parenting life on doing precisely the opposite to my parents. I have my maternal grandparents as role models. "
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