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Whose line is it anyway

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Remember that show? It had a segment which Mock The Week also uses called Unlikely Things...

So this particular thread is:

Unlikely things you'd hear in a porn film.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well, that's you washer fixed luv. That'll be 20 quid please

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Remember that show? It had a segment which Mock The Week also uses called Unlikely Things...

So this particular thread is:

Unlikely things you'd hear in a porn film."

Right. That's the washing machine fixed. I'll be off then.......

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Shall we just snuggle up on the sofa and watch telly?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/03/23 20:10:22]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I don't want to meet your lesbian lover dear

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

I'll start:

"I'd love to accept a blowjob in payment for the pizza but I've got more deliveries to make"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh sorry no thanks I'm married.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

To be honest, I’m not really in the mood for a threesome.

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Oh, so much for me starting. Looks like loads have already joined in, lmao

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire

Are those skid marks!!??

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By *orphia2003Woman  over a year ago

Tonypandy.

It's far too cold to be standing around in your underwear love. Go and put something warm on.

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

No, I don’t need a hand with this wank thanks.

No, I’m quite capable of soaping up the girls on my own thanks.

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

I'm not sure I want to lick that. Did you wash your arsehole properly with soap before we started?

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By *istyPeaksCouple  over a year ago

braintree

Actually - that’s really not doing it for me. Could you slow down a touch.

Please please finger blast me with those ) inch acrylic nails…. Mmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No love I will pay the taxi fair I don't want a BJ

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London


"Actually - that’s really not doing it for me. Could you slow down a touch.

Please please finger blast me with those ) inch acrylic nails…. Mmmmm

"

Right?! I often wondered if that was actually pleasurable or the girl ended up with internal bleeding instead.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are those skid marks!!?? "

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire


"Are those skid marks!!??

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge. "

I’d eat that with a rusty spoon.

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London


"Are those skid marks!!??

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge. "

Brown discharge"? Hhmmmm. Lol

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Are those skid marks!!??

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge. "

Brown discharge is better than blue waffle.

A

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London


"Are those skid marks!!??

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge.

Brown discharge is better than blue waffle.

A

"

WTF is blue waffle?

I fear we're straying from the subject matter slightly. Lol

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Sorry, I really should have knocked before barging into your room.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Thanks for the pizza, keep the change.... as the door closes on him

Tinder

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By *iaisonseekerMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

Well, that'll never fit.

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By *ristolBS3Man  over a year ago

bristol

Sorry love, it's never happened before ??

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By *r.SJMan  over a year ago

Wellingborough

Honestly, you don't need to to strip or put your feet in the stirrups whilst I check your tonsils

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are those skid marks!!??

I am not a pornstar but in my home video my partner said the same thing when he pulled down my big white knickers but luckily it was only brown discharge.

Brown discharge is better than blue waffle.

A

WTF is blue waffle?

I fear we're straying from the subject matter slightly. Lol"

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

Actually, I’m a bit tired tonight. Can we just cuddle?

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Oh my god, oh my god, oh yeah, I'm gonna cum, oh god....actually do you mind if I just cum in the condom?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS  over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

What?? Eww you're old enough to be my dad, no!

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich


"Sorry love, it's never happened before ??"

Er, search "failed castings"

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By *ainbows_can_be_metal_tooCouple  over a year ago

Darlington

"no step mum, I respect my dad too much for this"

Actually my dad is a dick and I haven't seen him in 10 years, I'd happyly fuck anyone he's seeing out of spite

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Oh your lesbian twins are you and you'd like to have sex with me

Sorry I cant I'm a morman on mission would you like read this book.

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By *r_PinkMan  over a year ago

london stratford

ohhhhhhhhhhhh I love small cocks

Never seen a film where that had been uttered

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London


"Oh your lesbian twins are you and you'd like to have sex with me

Sorry I cant I'm a morman on mission would you like read this book."

Alternatively,

"Lesbian Twins?!! I'm not into in cest thanks. It's disgusting."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You want to do what ? Are you fucking joking ? Do I look like a woman that takes it up the arse ? Fuck off you plonker and take the substitutes back with you I ordered seeded not white!.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford


"You want to do what ? Are you fucking joking ? Do I look like a woman that takes it up the arse ? Fuck off you plonker and take the substitutes back with you I ordered seeded not white!."

Not worry madam I can seed it for won't take but a moment .

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Please don't squirt. It costs so much to get this carpet and upholstery shampooed.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Excuse me we are having picnic not dogging .

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By *kmale201633Man  over a year ago

Southampton

What on earth are you doing, this establishment states a professional massage service! Get your hands off my boobs and I demand to see the manager - you'll be fired for this.

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London

Sorry, I am NOT going down there. Smells like a fishmongers

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By *partharmonyCouple  over a year ago

Ruislip

When is comes to economics, sre you a Keynsian or more of a monetarist?

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By *partharmonyCouple  over a year ago

Ruislip

Forget all this lust. Let's just go and read Marx together.

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By *izzy69 OP   Man  over a year ago

London


"When is comes to economics, sre you a Keynsian or more of a monetarist? "

Oh surely that line's been in one of Ben Dover's movies??!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fuck me like Brexit fucked the uk.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry, your just to big for me. I prefer smaller.

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By *iaisonseekerMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

I just walked in on the babysitter furiously dildoing her vayjayjay and told her that was completely unprofessional behaviour and invited her to leave.

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By *ustus555Couple  over a year ago

NG 21

Is it OK if we just talk.

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By *atthew78Man  over a year ago

Winsford

Right I'm off then see you next weekend

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'll just pop upstairs to scrape off the sheets.

(Bless you, Rik Mayall lol)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mmm you taste just like granny.

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