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Cheating partner
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I don't want to know the details of where/when,good/bad etc. but feel like my bottom dropped from my world
Some of you guys (and ladies even) must have been in similar situation ??
I want to forgive,maybe in time even forget (well,put to back of my mind at least) but everytime I close my eyes all I can do is picture them two together and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I can't trust her again,even when she says she going to local shop and be back in like 15 minutes (No,I've not told her I don't trust her),but with her 'now estranged friend' and her guy living within spitting distance almost from our place it seems inevitable when I let my guard down in slightest it will all go down once more
What would your advice be on this one  | |||
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"Yes we are on here,but that's as meeting as a couple obviously. Recently found out my gf (17+ years together,3 children) has been cheating (not within anyone from here may I add) but a 'supposedly' good friend of hers on/off fella.. She still denying anything 'much really' happened but yet his version of events to his on/off gf tells a different story.
I don't want to know the details of where/when,good/bad etc. but feel like my bottom dropped from my world
Some of you guys (and ladies even) must have been in similar situation ??
I want to forgive,maybe in time even forget (well,put to back of my mind at least) but everytime I close my eyes all I can do is picture them two together and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I can't trust her again,even when she says she going to local shop and be back in like 15 minutes (No,I've not told her I don't trust her),but with her 'now estranged friend' and her guy living within spitting distance almost from our place it seems inevitable when I let my guard down in slightest it will all go down once more
What would your advice be on this one "Im going to be a little blunt here. If you trust his word over your partners word your an idiot. Best way I see it have a word with her and make it known what hes said to you. You will either get a reaction or you wont. Though you can say hes no longer trusted near her and possibly visa versa. | |||
"Yes we are on here,but that's as meeting as a couple obviously. Recently found out my gf (17+ years together,3 children) has been cheating (not within anyone from here may I add) but a 'supposedly' good friend of hers on/off fella.. She still denying anything 'much really' happened but yet his version of events to his on/off gf tells a different story.
I don't want to know the details of where/when,good/bad etc. but feel like my bottom dropped from my world
Some of you guys (and ladies even) must have been in similar situation ??
I want to forgive,maybe in time even forget (well,put to back of my mind at least) but everytime I close my eyes all I can do is picture them two together and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I can't trust her again,even when she says she going to local shop and be back in like 15 minutes (No,I've not told her I don't trust her),but with her 'now estranged friend' and her guy living within spitting distance almost from our place it seems inevitable when I let my guard down in slightest it will all go down once more
What would your advice be on this one "I don't ever think you can continue a relationship with someone that has betrayed you in this way, your lives will never be the same again, you will never trust her and want to know where she is going and who with every time she leaves the house, you will want to know who she is texting with, this will drive you in sane even more so, she will always feel like your watching her every move, questioning everything she is doing ( even though she has given you good reason to) she will be compleatly miserable and there might be a chance that she will never do it again, and yet still living under your watchful eye. But she might do it again, over and over..look after yourself..she did this...not you. | |||
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" Ultimately though, the paranoia of where is she, what is she doing, may drive you both apart anyway. " Not to mention the fact he's posted the relationship woes from a profile they share | |||
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"Without wishing to distract from the main issue, if you are (were) on here as a couple, surely she can also log on, edit your profile, and see this post? I'm not sure that would help in this situation." Yes,but only ever me (well 99% of the time)it was left to myself to look for any potential meets and if I found somebody I thought she might like then I'd show her and we would decide as a couple then proceed from there..yes..I guess she could log in herself,as their are few devices that could connect but I know for a fact she never has done this  | |||
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"It's hard but it can work out but.... Only if both of you are willing to try, it doesn't sound like she's being honest still which isn't the best start. If you both want things to work then she's gotta prove she can be trusted and that means speak the truth now, if she's still hiding things then I wouldn't hold much hope. I've been there and it's hard and soul destroying, it hurts it's shit but if your both working at it that does get easier, I can say forgiveness may come in time but forgetting not so much it just gets easier to handle. Wishing you all the best op. Mrs " This, if both parties willing to work at it it can get better but when one not it won’t be easy  | |||
"You need to sit her down and talk to her. Tell her what he’s said, tell her how it has made you feel. Be honest and open with her. You can’t fix the relationship on your own and you need to know the truth. Not just go on what someone else has told you. You know her, you’ll know if she’s lying." I haven't seen him since well before I found anything had been going on..and I've only heard 'ass end' of comments that he had come clean to this gf of his (I guess hoping to save something for himself out of it all) and says both were to blame,neither of them did all the running. This is where the problem lies I guess,she has learning difficulties to a certain degree and I could sit here down and tell her how I feel/how upset I am/asking her why she felt need to do what she has done but within 15 minutes of conversation ending she'd be back to square one,insisting she has done nothing wrong,she thinks what she has done isn't wrong. I know she still lying,simple little things such as they have been seen together in one location by a good friend of mine just by chance.. | |||
"Yes we are on here,but that's as meeting as a couple obviously. Recently found out my gf (17+ years together,3 children) has been cheating (not within anyone from here may I add) but a 'supposedly' good friend of hers on/off fella.. She still denying anything 'much really' happened but yet his version of events to his on/off gf tells a different story.
I don't want to know the details of where/when,good/bad etc. but feel like my bottom dropped from my world
Some of you guys (and ladies even) must have been in similar situation ??
I want to forgive,maybe in time even forget (well,put to back of my mind at least) but everytime I close my eyes all I can do is picture them two together and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I can't trust her again,even when she says she going to local shop and be back in like 15 minutes (No,I've not told her I don't trust her),but with her 'now estranged friend' and her guy living within spitting distance almost from our place it seems inevitable when I let my guard down in slightest it will all go down once more
What would your advice be on this one "Quick Update : Think some people may have got the idea I have spoken to this guy since I found out anything had being going on,truth be I not seen him for couple months at least.. Still back to square one again,with gf insisting she is innocent,obviously not ! It was his cheated on gf who said he tried coming clean with her,saying it was nothing serious,neither of them did all running etc. but she wanted nothing to do with his bs and his ass was out of her life.. Like I said in op I don't want all 'dirty details' I want/need to know why,that's all..at least then 'if' I had done something wrong I could at least know not to repeat it ! My eldest son got wind of all this and he was going mad on phone telling his mum what he thought of her and again same response from her 'I haven't done anything wrong' and that seemed to cool his temper somewhat then when saying goodbye to each other she comes out with 'I'm sorry,I won't do it again'..Erm..thought you were innocent ?? I really feel like I'm losing it here,lack of sleep,worry,not eating beginning to tell on me. I made op as I have no friends who I'm in contact/could trust enough to ask for help with this one,hence me posting here,as sometimes easier talking to complete strangers. In ideal situation I'm guessing my 1st choice would be stay together (simply as she is mum to my three amazing boys),been together for years,and overall get on brilliantly,which kind of made it harder when I found out all this..all I know she's not left the house for more than 10 minutes since it was all uncovered,before that I was lucky if I saw her for more than 10 minutes in a day ! I haven't played my 'trump card' as yet,only because if she reads this update she'd have time elaborate excuse once more ..my apologies for lengthy post/update here | |||
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" Ultimately though, the paranoia of where is she, what is she doing, may drive you both apart anyway. Not to mention the fact he's posted the relationship woes from a profile they share " Maybe that's intentional. Maybe he can't find a way to bring certain elements into conversation so he's hoping she'll see this and open conversation herself. | |||
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"Yes we are on here,but that's as meeting as a couple obviously. Recently found out my gf (17+ years together,3 children) has been cheating (not within anyone from here may I add) but a 'supposedly' good friend of hers on/off fella.. She still denying anything 'much really' happened but yet his version of events to his on/off gf tells a different story.
I don't want to know the details of where/when,good/bad etc. but feel like my bottom dropped from my world
Some of you guys (and ladies even) must have been in similar situation ??
I want to forgive,maybe in time even forget (well,put to back of my mind at least) but everytime I close my eyes all I can do is picture them two together and it's driving me insane.
I feel like I can't trust her again,even when she says she going to local shop and be back in like 15 minutes (No,I've not told her I don't trust her),but with her 'now estranged friend' and her guy living within spitting distance almost from our place it seems inevitable when I let my guard down in slightest it will all go down once more
What would your advice be on this one
Im going to be a little blunt here.
If you trust his word over your partners word your an idiot.
Best way I see it have a word with her and make it known what hes said to you.
You will either get a reaction or you wont.
Though you can say hes no longer trusted near her and possibly visa versa.
I haven't spoke to him,nor want to ever !
It's what his gf has told me,he says neither of them made all the running and he can only apologise..no idea if they are still together or not now.
Tbh,since it all blew up,she's only left the house once to pop to shop,there and back in like 15 minutes,whereas before she'd be gone from dawn till dusk 6 days,7 if she could a week.
So I know they haven't met/spoken/text (we don't have mobile devices) but that trust thing is what I'm finding harder than I ever imagined,for now it's just living together,amicabally as can be,after all she's mum to our 3 lads,hopefully see light at end of this dark tunnel...one day
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"I haven't spoke to him,nor want to ever ! It's what his gf has told me,he says neither of them made all the running and he can only apologise..no idea if they are still together or not now. Tbh,since it all blew up,she's only left the house once to pop to shop,there and back in like 15 minutes,whereas before she'd be gone from dawn till dusk 6 days,7 if she could a week. So I know they haven't met/spoken/text (we don't have mobile devices) but that trust thing is what I'm finding harder than I ever imagined,for now it's just living together,amicabally as can be,after all she's mum to our 3 lads,hopefully see light at end of this dark tunnel...one day" Gone for a week  Sounds like she was having a proper affair. Hugs to you | |||
"I haven't spoke to him,nor want to ever ! It's what his gf has told me,he says neither of them made all the running and he can only apologise..no idea if they are still together or not now. Tbh,since it all blew up,she's only left the house once to pop to shop,there and back in like 15 minutes,whereas before she'd be gone from dawn till dusk 6 days,7 if she could a week. So I know they haven't met/spoken/text (we don't have mobile devices) but that trust thing is what I'm finding harder than I ever imagined,for now it's just living together,amicabally as can be,after all she's mum to our 3 lads,hopefully see light at end of this dark tunnel...one day Gone for a week Sounds like she was having a proper affair. Hugs to you " | |||
"I haven't spoke to him,nor want to ever ! It's what his gf has told me,he says neither of them made all the running and he can only apologise..no idea if they are still together or not now. Tbh,since it all blew up,she's only left the house once to pop to shop,there and back in like 15 minutes,whereas before she'd be gone from dawn till dusk 6 days,7 if she could a week. So I know they haven't met/spoken/text (we don't have mobile devices) but that trust thing is what I'm finding harder than I ever imagined,for now it's just living together,amicabally as can be,after all she's mum to our 3 lads,hopefully see light at end of this dark tunnel...one day Gone for a week Sounds like she was having a proper affair. Hugs to you "Once you have a good contract and Solicitor, you should be able to see the light from the woods. | |||
"I haven't spoke to him,nor want to ever ! It's what his gf has told me,he says neither of them made all the running and he can only apologise..no idea if they are still together or not now. Tbh,since it all blew up,she's only left the house once to pop to shop,there and back in like 15 minutes,whereas before she'd be gone from dawn till dusk 6 days,7 if she could a week. So I know they haven't met/spoken/text (we don't have mobile devices) but that trust thing is what I'm finding harder than I ever imagined,for now it's just living together,amicabally as can be,after all she's mum to our 3 lads,hopefully see light at end of this dark tunnel...one day" Maybe seek couples counselling if you've decided to try and fix things? In reality watching your partners every move won't cure anything. It'll probably just end up making you both miserable | |||
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"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up." Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? " Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. | |||
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"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought." As a solo woman I'll go out on a limb here and say there's a whopping difference between agreeing to play together, vs having an affair | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought." They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. " I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….. | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….." | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….." Dont ever swing with a partner then, as jealousy causes issues and it's not fair on others. | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….. Dont ever swing with a partner then, as jealousy causes issues and it's not fair on others." No shit Sherlock | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….. Dont ever swing with a partner then, as jealousy causes issues and it's not fair on others. No shit Sherlock " Rude!  | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….. Dont ever swing with a partner then, as jealousy causes issues and it's not fair on others. No shit Sherlock Rude! "Yes, it was apologies. | |||
"I can save him the money by suggesting to watch all the Tony Soprano and Dr Melfi therapy Sessions. At the end of the day it’s about the kids, not how you fucked it up. Aye, all about their kids, and he possibly wants to save their relationship vs busting it apart? Fair point, but I’m a straight male on a swingers site, the whole point of swingers are they don’t get Jealous I thought. They weren't swinging though, she went behind his back. I don’t care, this is why I’m selective about whom I let in. I’m the Jealous type, sooooooooo…….. Dont ever swing with a partner then, as jealousy causes issues and it's not fair on others. No shit Sherlock Rude!
Yes, it was apologies."I’m my own worst enemy | |||
