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You know your poorly when...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

.. you've owned a Deluxe Wand for a week and you've only used it once lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or when you have 1 wank in 3 weeks

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

i'm not poorly but not used mine since last saturday...i'm a good girl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you cant get out of bed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can tell when I'm feeling utterly shite when I'm not horny. I can use my bullet every day at least 3 times (insatiably high sex drive) but if I'm feeling like crap it stays in the shag bag.

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By *oulou45Woman over a year ago

Bucks

When I get lots of offers to rub on my chest and I reply with a fo. Or do I do that anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you cough and fill your wellies.

Know someone who did just that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

...... all you want to drink is vimto.

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By *exki11enWoman over a year ago

Bristol

When you turn down alcohol (that's when OH knew I was really ill over Christmas lol)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you turn down alcohol (that's when OH knew I was really ill over Christmas lol) "

I was about to say when I don't/can't drink a glass of wine

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"When you cough and fill your wellies.

Know someone who did just that "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I couldn't face my morning pot of coffee or my usual 10 fags

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By *mumaWoman over a year ago

Livingston

When it hurts to blink

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the co-op funeral service pulls up outside your front door

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You enjoy watching countdown

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By *inktherapyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"When I get lots of offers to rub on my chest and I reply with a fo. Or do I do that anyway lol"

Oh yes - I had 'feeling rough' as a status to put people off. The amount of offers I got to rub 'special lotion' on my chest and the like was really annoying - I had to really control myself and not type back 'f**k off, I'm ill'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only thing you want to rub when you get into bed is vapour rub on your chest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you bleed from your ears.

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By *inktherapyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

...you'd rather take a wheat bag to bed than a bullet or a man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

... when I go off food.

Besides, I don't have time to be ill!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are both ill with bad flu,i (Sarah) haven't been very well for weeks, I had that norovirus for two weeks with tonsilltis with it til Xmas day then new yrs day comes the flu.. plus new yrs day is my mams birthday so I couldn't go and see her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the co-op funeral service pulls up outside your front door"

pmsl that made me chuckle

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well i dont use vibrators on their own. Just as an enhancement when i have someone one with me. Ive got my first cold in 13 years think it could be as im run down

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By *he Original TTMan over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"When I get lots of offers to rub on my chest and I reply with a fo. Or do I do that anyway lol"

So that's a no then.......

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