FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it right to ask for a face pic with first msg
Is it right to ask for a face pic with first msg
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This is something that’s troubled me for some while and I wanted to get the view of others in the same situation. You see a profile, they have no face pics but stipulate in their profile. Your first msg must have, your more likely to get a reply or blocked if you don’t provide a face pic. I know the easiest thing to do is just skip on by, however so many profile now have one of the above, plus they say they don’t have any on their profile for this and that reason (We all have family and jobs). We all know how poor responses can be because everyone says they’re inundated. I think how many times I’ve blindly sent personal data to a stranger and how data collection works, what’s going on with fab? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do or do not. There is no try.
It’s our decisions to do stuff, not others. I’d suggest just to do what you think is right and are comfortable with.
What someone will do with my pictures is beyond my imagination, and I do t give out my details to apply for a loan or credit card.  |
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"Do or do not. There is no try.
It’s our decisions to do stuff, not others. I’d suggest just to do what you think is right and are comfortable with.
What someone will do with my pictures is beyond my imagination, and I do t give out my details to apply for a loan or credit card. "
True, fair point and love the yoda ref lol  |
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Yes. I don't want to waste anyone's time, better to get the is there facial attraction question answered straight away. Some will send, some will not, but being upfront and clear is what any of us can do. Do I Spam my face to anyone I like no. But if we are likely to be going to meet at a social then yes. On dating sites your profile face is up front and foremost, the majority of the time anyway regarding data collection |
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All good points but playing devil advocate here, people can do far more criminal damage with an image of a person face than any other personal data etc. You’d be surprised how much info you could obtain just from someone photo without them sharing it. Plus it’s easier to set up new fake credit card accounts etc than drain a account? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s asked and they have none to show I see it as an over inflated ego, where they value themselves (no doubt unjustly) above others - defo don’t comply! |
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"Yes. I don't want to waste anyone's time, better to get the is there facial attraction question answered straight away. Some will send, some will not, but being upfront and clear is what any of us can do. Do I Spam my face to anyone I like no. But if we are likely to be going to meet at a social then yes. On dating sites your profile face is up front and foremost, the majority of the time anyway regarding data collection "
Yeah that makes sense, if likely to meet that makes sense and all for upfront. But surely if they feel that way then they should be up front and have a face pic in their profile? x |
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"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction "
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
Thats all well and good but you send a face pic and get no reply its only curtious to say yes or no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good points but playing devil advocate here, people can do far more criminal damage with an image of a person face than any other personal data etc. You’d be surprised how much info you could obtain just from someone photo without them sharing it. Plus it’s easier to set up new fake credit card accounts etc than drain an account? "
That’s just spreading false fear.
Since when was a face picture enough to open a credit account?
Everyone on FB or Instagram would be drowning in fake applications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, agree with post above, it's a bit fearmongering. How does a face pic let you apply for a credit card?
Face pic in the opener shows you likely aren't a time waster, let's you 'see the goods' up front and avoid issues down the line when you realise you just aren't attracted at all. |
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"All good points but playing devil advocate here, people can do far more criminal damage with an image of a person face than any other personal data etc. You’d be surprised how much info you could obtain just from someone photo without them sharing it. Plus it’s easier to set up new fake credit card accounts etc than drain an account?
That’s just spreading false fear.
Since when was a face picture enough to open a credit account?
Everyone on FB or Instagram would be drowning in fake applications. "
Yeah I don’t want to spread false fear or upset anyone and I’m sorry if that how it come across. It was hypothetical possibilities how it can be used and not suggesting someone would try to use a photo to open an account lol. It takes a bit more effort than that otherwise, yes we’d all be drowning in fake debt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always send a face pic with the first message, I agree with other people's sentiments just speeds things up. I don't insist on a face pic from others in the first message but generally without one they are unlikely to get a reply |
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I’d prefer to remain fairly low key for personal reasons, so I’m a little reluctant to show face in a first message.
I would never send a face pic to a blank profile before I knew enough about them to feel comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send a face photo with a first message, even if they've asked for it. I will send one after a few messages have been exchanged and I feel I'm interested. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've never asked for a face pic on here. Usually though if we chat for a while we exchange pics .
In saying that I've had my face pic shown to others on here by someone I had considered to be a friend at one point.But then considering the fact she showed me other people's faces as well I should have known it would happen at some point. It's something I don't agree with sharing other people's pics and info on here and that's the main reason I won't share a face pic early on. Too much info is shared in groups outside of fab. And while no you can't open bank accounts etc with someone's face pic there have been people outed on social media etc thanks to those who do share others info on here.
And as for those who demand one in a first message of course they are allowed to ask for whatever they want no one has to comply with it though. And personally I won't jump through hoops for anyone on here especially just to try and make first contact.
The excuse people are inundated with messages is also true on certain cases but that again us their choice,the site provides the tools to drastically cut down on incoming messages if they want. I don't get many because I don't see the point in getting tons of messages off people who I most likely won't want to reply to anyhow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never asked for a face pic on here. Usually though if we chat for a while we exchange pics .
In saying that I've had my face pic shown to others on here by someone I had considered to be a friend at one point.But then considering the fact she showed me other people's faces as well I should have known it would happen at some point. It's something I don't agree with sharing other people's pics and info on here and that's the main reason I won't share a face pic early on. Too much info is shared in groups outside of fab. And while no you can't open bank accounts etc with someone's face pic there have been people outed on social media etc thanks to those who do share others info on here.
"
That is shocking  |
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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago
Paisley Scotland |
"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x"
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Strangely enough despite people who claim that men won't get anywhere on here if they don't share facepics, I've managed to do ok without sending one in all my time here.
I don't need to gauge attraction because I'll always chat for quite a while before meeting for a social. I may or may not share a pic at that stage so we will recognise each other and for no other reason.
I've learned not to trust people on here because I've also had my facepic and personal details shared with others in groupchats.
I've been told at socials that people recognised me from my pic in the chatgroup despite the fact I'd never been in the chatgroup and wouldn't have shared a pic even if I had been.
On a similar thread last year I was able to say that of the people who posted before me I had met 4 of them and only knew one of their real names.
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I often wonder when I see forum besties tagging each other how they would feel if they knew their pal was sharing their details and telling everyone how hideous their pics were and how they were a thundercunt while also bodyshaming.
Most don't have to look too far outside their circle for any crap they get on here. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x"
So you're saying it's 'dangerous' to privately send a face pic, but you want others to have their face pics on their public profile?!
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If people are asking for things that seem unreasonable to you, don't do what they're asking. It's an absolute waste of your energy to be concerned about it because there's no way you can require anyone asking for face pictures with a first message to have one on public display themselves, no matter how unfair you feel it is. |
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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago
Bath |
"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x"
I ask for a face pic via my profile. I don’t want to waste my time. If I’m not attracted to you then I’m not going to waste my time chatting for ages first.
I’m also not worried about saving other peoples time, I’m worried about my own time. If you send a message not knowing what I look like then that’s a choice you have made.
No one has to do as I ask and if they are not happy about it then don’t message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's right for the person requesting it. And that's all that really matters.
If you don't like the wording/requests on someone's profile then just don't message them.
If you don't like the direction or tone an interaction on here is taking end it.
I never understand people taking issues with how someone else uses the site unless they are being purposefully insulting to others |
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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago
Bath |
"Strangely enough despite people who claim that men won't get anywhere on here if they don't share facepics, I've managed to do ok without sending one in all my time here.
I don't need to gauge attraction because I'll always chat for quite a while before meeting for a social. I may or may not share a pic at that stage so we will recognise each other and for no other reason.
I've learned not to trust people on here because I've also had my facepic and personal details shared with others in groupchats.
I've been told at socials that people recognised me from my pic in the chatgroup despite the fact I'd never been in the chatgroup and wouldn't have shared a pic even if I had been.
On a similar thread last year I was able to say that of the people who posted before me I had met 4 of them and only knew one of their real names.
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I often wonder when I see forum besties tagging each other how they would feel if they knew their pal was sharing their details and telling everyone how hideous their pics were and how they were a thundercunt while also bodyshaming.
Most don't have to look too far outside their circle for any crap they get on here."
Sounds like you are chatting to some pathetic & sad individuals if they keep peoples details to spread around. |
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"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
"
I think this is shocking behaviour |
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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago
Bath |
"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I think this is shocking behaviour"
It is shocking. I feel sorry for whoever it is. They clearly don’t have much going on in their own life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I think this is shocking behaviour
It is shocking. I feel sorry for whoever it is. They clearly don’t have much going on in their own life. "
Does she do promo work too? I'll send her my headshots |
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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago
Bath |
"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I think this is shocking behaviour
It is shocking. I feel sorry for whoever it is. They clearly don’t have much going on in their own life.
Does she do promo work too? I'll send her my headshots"
Hahaha  |
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"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I think this is shocking behaviour
It is shocking. I feel sorry for whoever it is. They clearly don’t have much going on in their own life. "
It's easy to be paranoid about sharing, especially when you hear about stuff like this. It was months before I felt inclined to share my actual name with my FWB. |
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"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x
So you're saying it's 'dangerous' to privately send a face pic, but you want others to have their face pics on their public profile?!
"
Surely by the OP's logic that's far more dangerous |
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"Strangely enough despite people who claim that men won't get anywhere on here if they don't share facepics, I've managed to do ok without sending one in all my time here.
I don't need to gauge attraction because I'll always chat for quite a while before meeting for a social. I may or may not share a pic at that stage so we will recognise each other and for no other reason.
I've learned not to trust people on here because I've also had my facepic and personal details shared with others in groupchats.
I've been told at socials that people recognised me from my pic in the chatgroup despite the fact I'd never been in the chatgroup and wouldn't have shared a pic even if I had been.
On a similar thread last year I was able to say that of the people who posted before me I had met 4 of them and only knew one of their real names.
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I often wonder when I see forum besties tagging each other how they would feel if they knew their pal was sharing their details and telling everyone how hideous their pics were and how they were a thundercunt while also bodyshaming.
Most don't have to look too far outside their circle for any crap they get on here.
Sounds like you are chatting to some pathetic & sad individuals if they keep peoples details to spread around. "
That's the thing. I'm not chatting to them because as soon as they did that I knew my details would also be passed around as soon as I called her out on it.
Based on feedback from others she is still doing it but many people are happy to ignore it or they enable her and others like that simply because they are well verified, have great pics and couldn't possibly be doing anything wrong.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to see faces asap. I don’t want to chat and vibe well with someone and then find out I’m not attracted to them. Unfortunately that’s happened way too often (and I’ve been on the wrong side of it too) I always send face pictures in the first few messages and expect the same back |
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Unlikely. Face pics are for recognising someone for a meet. We’re not looking to fall in love or have a relationship. If someone sends a face pic and they look cute then great but generally a beaming mug sent to us with not much info will look a bit silly. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I like to see faces asap. I don’t want to chat and vibe well with someone and then find out I’m not attracted to them. Unfortunately that’s happened way too often (and I’ve been on the wrong side of it too) I always send face pictures in the first few messages and expect the same back"
We don't mind if a face pic isn't sent in the opening message, although the majority of guys that message us do send one even though we have no stipulation in our profile text asking them to.
But we would expect one after a couple of messages if there's interest on our part having browsed the profile, viewed the public photos and read the veris and incoming messages. If at that point there's no attraction then we'd politely end contact. If there was we'd send ours, at which point they'd be perfectly within their rights to decide we're not for them.
Anyone can ask for anything in their profile. The choice of whether you meet those requests is entirely yours. Don't like them and see them as 'demands'? Move on. Because like it or not if you don't decide to go along with them it's unlikely any contact will progress.
A |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
I don't see an issue in them wanting to see a face pic if you contact them.
However my issue is with those that contact first (rare) with no face pic, and then request/demand you send them a face pic... 
Or have on their profile you must provide one and they never do.
The facial attraction thing is important. And as Harlot says above, better to get that over with first before getting in a deep connection with zero are attraction.
Had that happen a few times now, it is much worse than an early rejection. |
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It's really annoying when someone initiates contact with me then after 2nd message (almost demands on occasion) a face pic from me without offering/ showing any pics of themselves. I don't have face pics freely available because of my job but if I'm initiating contact by messaging someone I tend to offer face pic in the 1st or 2nd message |
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"I don't see an issue in them wanting to see a face pic if you contact them.
However my issue is with those that contact first (rare) with no face pic, and then request/demand you send them a face pic...
Or have on their profile you must provide one and they never do.
The facial attraction thing is important. And as Harlot says above, better to get that over with first before getting in a deep connection with zero are attraction.
Had that happen a few times now, it is much worse than an early rejection. "
I've had this a few times from couples I've never seen before.
One had 80+ veries and their entire message was Facepic and phone number now and we will put you on our to-do list for tomorrow night.
When I said no and told them to read my profile the response was Your loss.Not as if you have options! |
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We never ask for one on first message nor hve one on public profile however we do need to see early on as if there’s no attraction it’s pointless continuing forward that works both ways so as soon as some One does send one we ll send back |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"This is something that’s troubled me for some while and I wanted to get the view of others in the same situation. You see a profile, they have no face pics but stipulate in their profile. Your first msg must have, your more likely to get a reply or blocked if you don’t provide a face pic. I know the easiest thing to do is just skip on by, however so many profile now have one of the above, plus they say they don’t have any on their profile for this and that reason (We all have family and jobs). We all know how poor responses can be because everyone says they’re inundated. I think how many times I’ve blindly sent personal data to a stranger and how data collection works, what’s going on with fab?"
If they are local they want to see if they know you first  |
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By *arkedMan
over a year ago
Trim |
I don't think I've ever sent a pic with a first message, but I've several head / face pics on my profile for all to see.
If someone is only willing to 'bother getting to know me' based on my face then I'm unlikely to message them anyway, because to me (and this is only my opinion) that is such a shallow / superficial approach. Personally speaking, there's a Hell of a lot more to be attracted to than just their face, and the priority for me is what I can gleam of their personality.
Regardless of whether you've pictures or not, if your profile catches my eye I'll message you, and as I said to a lady recently: I'll not ask you for a picture because I'm sure if you want me to have one you'll send it, and if we decide we'd like to meet, I've no problem with my first view of you being when you introdce yourself.
But then nobody's ever accused me of being normal... |
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My view is that people can ask for whatever they like. We have a decision at that point whether we ‘cave’ to their demands.
As a result I have never sent a face pic with a first message through choice |
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I don't ask for one in a first message,but early on if we hit it off .It saves us wasting time if there's no attraction.
I'll happily swap mine too
It annoys me if someone asks for my face pic in a first message ,when they haven't sent theirs though. |
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"I don't see an issue in them wanting to see a face pic if you contact them.
However my issue is with those that contact first (rare) with no face pic, and then request/demand you send them a face pic...
Or have on their profile you must provide one and they never do.
The facial attraction thing is important. And as Harlot says above, better to get that over with first before getting in a deep connection with zero are attraction.
Had that happen a few times now, it is much worse than an early rejection.
I've had this a few times from couples I've never seen before.
One had 80+ veries and their entire message was Facepic and phone number now and we will put you on our to-do list for tomorrow night.
When I said no and told them to read my profile the response was Your loss.Not as if you have options!"
Wow ,that smacks of feeling entitled . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x"
Noone needs to send me a facepic just like a dont need to have a facepic public, each to their own you you al do me |
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People can ask for whatever they want to but if they actually get what they want that is an entirely different story. We have no problem sending a face pic to someone we are interested in after some conversation and we usually say send to receive which we think is fair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t mind sending one as agree, there has to be some attraction there to want to know more. What i don’t agree with is the no response after. If someone has done so, it is surely only courteous to say thanks but no thanks. I fully understand some couples and ladies mailboxes go crazy and I’m very glad mine doesn’t and never will. If you are worried about the potential for follow up messages reply and then block, easy no??? |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I don’t mind sending one as agree, there has to be some attraction there to want to know more. What i don’t agree with is the no response after. If someone has done so, it is surely only courteous to say thanks but no thanks. I fully understand some couples and ladies mailboxes go crazy and I’m very glad mine doesn’t and never will. If you are worried about the potential for follow up messages reply and then block, easy no???"
Once again we are faced with manners over rules, no reply being not interested you just can't get around it I'm afraid, just move on when this happens and it will happen a lot |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s not right or wring it’s their preference .
Don’t really get the problem , you either do as they ask if you’re interested, that’s the decent thing to do. Don’t message them if you disagree with their preference or message without one if you’re a dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t mind sending one as agree, there has to be some attraction there to want to know more. What i don’t agree with is the no response after. If someone has done so, it is surely only courteous to say thanks but no thanks. I fully understand some couples and ladies mailboxes go crazy and I’m very glad mine doesn’t and never will. If you are worried about the potential for follow up messages reply and then block, easy no???Once again we are faced with manners over rules, no reply being not interested you just can't get around it I'm afraid, just move on when this happens and it will happen a lot "
Already had lol. It’s all good |
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"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x
So you're saying it's 'dangerous' to privately send a face pic, but you want others to have their face pics on their public profile?!
"
No, I don’t have any expectations regarding what people display or send. Likewise I wouldn’t say I think it’s dangerous, just something that I’ve worried about before from time to time. Asking my self if I’m being sensible sending a face pic in my first message. I’m personally happy to wait to see how things develop before sending or requesting a face pic. I do more often than not, send a face pic with my first message if asked. However if it’s to save time and I had on my profile, stating if messaging me the first msg must have a face pic. I’d want to lead by example and have one they can view on profile so I’m not asking them to do anything I’ve not been willing to do x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair if it’s decent looking profile and good message send across,we respond with message and picture attached with our faces. Body plays a massive part in this but so do the face and character. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
However I also knew the real name, place of work and what two other women in the thread looked like despite never having met or even chatted.
That was thanks to a well verified fabber who was able to go through her filing system and send them to me unsolicited when I had a disagreement with them on another forum thread.
She felt I could use the details as ammunition.
I think this is shocking behaviour"
Unfathomable... RB - Are they still on the site? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Isn't it awkward when they do send a face pic and they aren't what you are looking for.... how do people deal with that.... "
Unread message, block/delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Isn't it awkward when they do send a face pic and they aren't what you are looking for.... how do people deal with that....
Unread message, block/delete .
I'm just too nice lol "
Give it time on here  |
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"Isn't it awkward when they do send a face pic and they aren't what you are looking for.... how do people deal with that....
Unread message, block/delete .
I'm just too nice lol
Give it time on here "
Lol so true  |
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"If people are asking for things that seem unreasonable to you, don't do what they're asking. It's an absolute waste of your energy to be concerned about it because there's no way you can require anyone asking for face pictures with a first message to have one on public display themselves, no matter how unfair you feel it is."
True, fair point |
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"Yes i always say those who send the 1st message should send a facepic, saves so much time if theres no attraction
True, I don’t mind sending in my first msg. However if it because they want to save time etc and expect it from a person messaging. Why not have a face pic in your profile and save them the time if they’re not attracted? It works both ways really to be honest x
I ask for a face pic via my profile. I don’t want to waste my time. If I’m not attracted to you then I’m not going to waste my time chatting for ages first.
I’m also not worried about saving other peoples time, I’m worried about my own time. If you send a message not knowing what I look like then that’s a choice you have made.
No one has to do as I ask and if they are not happy about it then don’t message. "
Very true x |
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"I don’t mind sending one as agree, there has to be some attraction there to want to know more. What i don’t agree with is the no response after. If someone has done so, it is surely only courteous to say thanks but no thanks. I fully understand some couples and ladies mailboxes go crazy and I’m very glad mine doesn’t and never will. If you are worried about the potential for follow up messages reply and then block, easy no???"
I don’t think it so much of being worried about a reply and ultimately it my/ the senders choice to message. It’s just at times, just as I hit send I’ve suddenly asked myself if I’m being to careless with personal info (in head) and worried or argued it over in my head if I’m been ridiculous or not. 5 mins later I’m over it and tend to settle on the side of I’m worrying over nothing. Otherwise, why be on here lol. However Curiosity got the better of me the other day and wandered or wanted to ask if anyone else get’s those sudden concerns, how do people feel in general about face pics in the first message and put forward/ share some of those worries which I’ve then argued over in head. Yeah I think for me personally it’s good manners to send a reply if someone has made a real effort to message me, even if it was just to say thank but no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t mind sending one as agree, there has to be some attraction there to want to know more. What i don’t agree with is the no response after. If someone has done so, it is surely only courteous to say thanks but no thanks. I fully understand some couples and ladies mailboxes go crazy and I’m very glad mine doesn’t and never will. If you are worried about the potential for follow up messages reply and then block, easy no???
I don’t think it so much of being worried about a reply and ultimately it my/ the senders choice to message. It’s just at times, just as I hit send I’ve suddenly asked myself if I’m being to careless with personal info (in head) and worried or argued it over in my head if I’m been ridiculous or not. 5 mins later I’m over it and tend to settle on the side of I’m worrying over nothing. Otherwise, why be on here lol. However Curiosity got the better of me the other day and wandered or wanted to ask if anyone else get’s those sudden concerns, how do people feel in general about face pics in the first message and put forward/ share some of those worries which I’ve then argued over in head. Yeah I think for me personally it’s good manners to send a reply if someone has made a real effort to message me, even if it was just to say thank but no thanks "
I wouldn't do it, especially when the profile has no shown picture of themselves.
Many people state that their messages aren't even read, I wonder how many sent a face picture, and now wonder what has happened to it. Your right to be careful with your data as it is a billion dollar business now. |
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Does anyone think, in regards to reply’s it would be a really good feature on the site to be able to set up a auto reply “no thanks”message. So then when the user finished with a message and don’t want to connect they can click on a No thanks button option, that logs the user choice and then that takes you back to your messages, like it would normally when you exit of a message.Then at some point over a 24hr period the no thanks message are automatically sent out to the person who sent the original message? |
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"Does anyone think, in regards to reply’s it would be a really good feature on the site to be able to set up a auto reply “no thanks”message. So then when the user finished with a message and don’t want to connect they can click on a No thanks button option, that logs the user choice and then that takes you back to your messages, like it would normally when you exit of a message.Then at some point over a 24hr period the no thanks message are automatically sent out to the person who sent the original message? "
There already is a no thanks button.
It's the no reply button. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone think, in regards to reply’s it would be a really good feature on the site to be able to set up a auto reply “no thanks”message. So then when the user finished with a message and don’t want to connect they can click on a No thanks button option, that logs the user choice and then that takes you back to your messages, like it would normally when you exit of a message.Then at some point over a 24hr period the no thanks message are automatically sent out to the person who sent the original message? "
I have sent messages saying "no thanks" , they then lead to further messages. Now I just delete unwanted messages unread. A lot of messages I receive are from much too far away.... |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Our Penny's worth..
We're guilty of no public face pics (although plenty in private album) and ask for face pic straight away.
Bluntly, we want the attraction there before taking up each other's time, and we're more about faces we like than 'perfect' bodies.
Had the 'body off Baywatch..' a few times (yes we know we're hidden atm)
If we approach, we always send one , would feel hypocritical otherwise..
Unsure why "personal data" would need to be shared though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is something that’s troubled me for some while and I wanted to get the view of others in the same situation. You see a profile, they have no face pics but stipulate in their profile. Your first msg must have, your more likely to get a reply or blocked if you don’t provide a face pic. I know the easiest thing to do is just skip on by, however so many profile now have one of the above, plus they say they don’t have any on their profile for this and that reason (We all have family and jobs). We all know how poor responses can be because everyone says they’re inundated. I think how many times I’ve blindly sent personal data to a stranger and how data collection works, what’s going on with fab?"
They do of course ask but you do not have to send one, anytime l see this on a woman's profile l just ignore that profile and in my own mind tell them to go fuck themselves ..they want a face pic straight away but have no pics of any discription on their profile..no friends only ..no private . nothing...but they want a face pic with your 1st message ?...like l said ..go fuck yourself for asking for one with absolutely none on their profile ...BUT each to their own here..they can say or ask that all they want but a person does not have to send one |
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"Does anyone think, in regards to reply’s it would be a really good feature on the site to be able to set up a auto reply “no thanks”message. So then when the user finished with a message and don’t want to connect they can click on a No thanks button option, that logs the user choice and then that takes you back to your messages, like it would normally when you exit of a message.Then at some point over a 24hr period the no thanks message are automatically sent out to the person who sent the original message?
I have sent messages saying "no thanks" , they then lead to further messages. Now I just delete unwanted messages unread. A lot of messages I receive are from much too far away...."
Yeah that’s a fair point, it wouldn’t be any good if it just leads to more conversation or abusive reply’s x |
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My profile says something like send a pic with your first message or fuck off....
Currently I'm not showing my face publicly on my profile because I'm not meeting. If someone does send me a message with their picture however I will send one of me if asked as I'm polite & feel obliged because of what I preach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you are worried about a swinger using your image in a criminal way, I suggest maybe this isn't the place for you.
I actually don't get that many messages however, as shallow as this maybe, I would like a face pic either in the first message or at least the second, what's the point in becoming penpals for a while, providing a picture when you are satisfied they aren't going to use your image and then there is absolutely no attraction and you have both wasted your time?.
As for another one of your points, Yes, if I do not fancy the person I might perhaps block or I might send a message back saying "sorry not my type", we aren't required or expected to still chat to the person if there is no physical attraction, sometimes I have chatted to guys who I get on instantly and haven't seen a face pic as they didn't want too or couldn't and they send one and I see them and they are not my type, they are still the same funny person or charming but there is just nothing there for me facial wise. |
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By *iyoMan
over a year ago
kent |
I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t. |
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"This is something that’s troubled me for some while and I wanted to get the view of others in the same situation. You see a profile, they have no face pics but stipulate in their profile. Your first msg must have, your more likely to get a reply or blocked if you don’t provide a face pic. I know the easiest thing to do is just skip on by, however so many profile now have one of the above, plus they say they don’t have any on their profile for this and that reason (We all have family and jobs). We all know how poor responses can be because everyone says they’re inundated. I think how many times I’ve blindly sent personal data to a stranger and how data collection works, what’s going on with fab?"
I never send my face pic to an unverified profile, or if they have no pics themselves |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t. "
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either.......... 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
"
Correct me if I'm wrong but unless you are a member you can't see pics, so unless someone else that is on here that works for the same company or something for example and decides to show the boss in which case thars a horrible thing to do and will land them in it too, aren't the people seeing the pics (like the boss who maybe on this site to see them) doing the exact same thing?
I do understand that some people prefer their pics private though. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
Correct me if I'm wrong but unless you are a member you can't see pics, so unless someone else that is on here that works for the same company or something for example and decides to show the boss in which case thars a horrible thing to do and will land them in it too, aren't the people seeing the pics (like the boss who maybe on this site to see them) doing the exact same thing?
I do understand that some people prefer their pics private though."
It's free to join and you can set up a profile in minutes, browse to your hearts content and see all photos.
If you think all profiles are actual people interested in swinging then I have a bridge to sell you.
Yes, people are vindictive and abusive sometimes. I was outed to a precious employer years ago and the onky reason I kept my job was because I'd maintained a level of plausible deniability - no face photos and no visible ink in any public pics.
People are constantly saying 'I got recognised in Tesco' on here and message by some random guy who now freaks me out - and theyre wondering why when they have their face on show.
If you don't need or want any discretion that's entirely your choice.
The vast majority however do.
I'm always slightly worried that those who are happy to post their faces on here with random strangers hanging out the back of them, or with 3 cocks hanging out of their mouth, may have less concern for the privacy of the people they're meeting than those who are less publicly open about their activities.
A |
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"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
"
Whenever this topic is raised on the Irish forum a lot of people compare and contrast and claim that Ireland is a backward country because fabbers don't have facepics showing like "everyone" in the Lounge does.
It's a much smaller community obviously but the same issues prevail in regard to privacy and work restrictions. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
Whenever this topic is raised on the Irish forum a lot of people compare and contrast and claim that Ireland is a backward country because fabbers don't have facepics showing like "everyone" in the Lounge does.
It's a much smaller community obviously but the same issues prevail in regard to privacy and work restrictions. "
'Everyone'....... 
Bless.
A |
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"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
Correct me if I'm wrong but unless you are a member you can't see pics, so unless someone else that is on here that works for the same company or something for example and decides to show the boss in which case thars a horrible thing to do and will land them in it too, aren't the people seeing the pics (like the boss who maybe on this site to see them) doing the exact same thing?
I do understand that some people prefer their pics private though."
You are wrong; any profile in here, free or subscribed member, can view all pics set to public display. Only subscribed members can view videos |
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By *iyoMan
over a year ago
kent |
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
"
I was simply putting my opinion out there . Thanks for explaining your reasons though x |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
I was simply putting my opinion out there . Thanks for explaining your reasons though x "
"If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t."
If it's your opinion that people that don't show their faces aren't doing so because they feel they're doing something they shouldn't be doing then I'd suggest a rethink.
That insinuates that people are either ashamed of being involved in swinging or that for whatever reason they shouldn't be on Fab or participating in this lifestyle.
Neither of which are assumptions I'd ever make about anyone just because they don't post their face on a publicly visible sex/swinging site.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally, I think it's a good idea to see face pictures at the start of any communications, for the simple reason that you could go through several messages of getting to know someone, discussing interests etc and then, when you finally get to see a face pic, if you don't fancy them, it can become rather awkward.
Best to get that bit out of the way at the start I think |
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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago
Kingsbridge |
"I've had the "got any more pics" first message countless times. Instant block.
It's even more cheeky when they have no pics on their own profile."
I think that’s the point isn’t it? If you can’t be bothered to put up any pics at all why ask for someone else’s? Frankly they could be fake anyway, even if verified, so why not cam with them and really find out what they’re like? |
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"I don’t understand why people don’t put face pics on their profile? We’re not doing anything wrong here .
If you don’t want to show your face then maybe you are doing something you shouldn’t.
The fact you don't understand says far more about you than it does someone who doesn't want to show their face.
Why should your lifestyle choices potentially have adverse effects on your family, children, friends, your job etc. ?
Just because you're happy with your choices doesn't change the fact that many in the big, wide world are less tolerant, open, understanding and have negative connotations about the swinging scene.
All well and good if you're single with no kids, don't care if people don't agree with your lifestyle choices, your job doesn't involve dealing with high value clients who demand certain 'standards', or you work in education, or you don't have a reputational disrepute clause in your work contract.....
Yeah. I really don't understand why some people don't want their faces public either..........
Correct me if I'm wrong but unless you are a member you can't see pics, so unless someone else that is on here that works for the same company or something for example and decides to show the boss in which case thars a horrible thing to do and will land them in it too, aren't the people seeing the pics (like the boss who maybe on this site to see them) doing the exact same thing?
I do understand that some people prefer their pics private though.
It's free to join and you can set up a profile in minutes, browse to your hearts content and see all photos.
If you think all profiles are actual people interested in swinging then I have a bridge to sell you.
Yes, people are vindictive and abusive sometimes. I was outed to a precious employer years ago and the onky reason I kept my job was because I'd maintained a level of plausible deniability - no face photos and no visible ink in any public pics.
People are constantly saying 'I got recognised in Tesco' on here and message by some random guy who now freaks me out - and theyre wondering why when they have their face on show.
If you don't need or want any discretion that's entirely your choice.
The vast majority however do.
I'm always slightly worried that those who are happy to post their faces on here with random strangers hanging out the back of them, or with 3 cocks hanging out of their mouth, may have less concern for the privacy of the people they're meeting than those who are less publicly open about their activities.
A"
I post everthing here but certainly respect others privacy! X |
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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago
Shoreditch east London |
"This is something that’s troubled me for some while and I wanted to get the view of others in the same situation. You see a profile, they have no face pics but stipulate in their profile. Your first msg must have, your more likely to get a reply or blocked if you don’t provide a face pic. I know the easiest thing to do is just skip on by, however so many profile now have one of the above, plus they say they don’t have any on their profile for this and that reason (We all have family and jobs). We all know how poor responses can be because everyone says they’re inundated. I think how many times I’ve blindly sent personal data to a stranger and how data collection works, what’s going on with fab?"
Yes but the thing that irritates me is that often, the very same people that make this request don't follow their own rules. If being discreet- a common phrase is their reason for not having face pics in their profile, is taking the piss tbh to think their need for discretion is more important and valid than yrs.
On another note if someone does ask for face pics and none in their profile, I always add, please don't ask for something yr not prepared to send yrself. |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
If you are willing to message someone without seeing their face, that's on you... They want to see your face or they won't respond... Simple... I expect a face pic as you can usually see mine... If I don't get one and I respond then assume I have no interest in meeting you |
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"If you are worried about a swinger using your image in a criminal way, I suggest maybe this isn't the place for you.
I actually don't get that many messages however, as shallow as this maybe, I would like a face pic either in the first message or at least the second, what's the point in becoming penpals for a while, providing a picture when you are satisfied they aren't going to use your image and then there is absolutely no attraction and you have both wasted your time?.
As for another one of your points, Yes, if I do not fancy the person I might perhaps block or I might send a message back saying "sorry not my type", we aren't required or expected to still chat to the person if there is no physical attraction, sometimes I have chatted to guys who I get on instantly and haven't seen a face pic as they didn't want too or couldn't and they send one and I see them and they are not my type, they are still the same funny person or charming but there is just nothing there for me facial wise."
Think to be honest it was more worried that someone posing as a swinger might miss use it some how rather than a genuine swinger but must admit I have soon thought I’m being silly and letting my imagination run away with me lol.
Yeah I agree and can appreciate it not doing anyone any good in the end if they’ve just chatted for a longing time without knowing if there an attraction. To then discover there isn’t an attraction after seeing each other’s face pics. I’m for the most ok with sending a face pic in my first message and always do send a face pic in my fist message if asked. Though I must admit, being asking in the second or first couple of message does sound more balanced and consider approach.
Likewise I completely agree, I know being reject suck but we all know it’s also part of life and though I really appreciate the gesture when someone take the time to say no thanks. No one should have any exceptions or issue if they don’t reply. I know from the start when I joined I never had any expectations of anything from anyone and, me personally I wouldn’t continue to message the person who rejected me after though I know it happens a lot from reading forums and chatting with people.
Yeah I agree I think the auto reject message is a no go. I would never want to encourage that type of behaviour and with the auto bulk reply no’s, it probably would encourage them to try and continue the conversation. x |
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"If you are willing to message someone without seeing their face, that's on you... They want to see your face or they won't respond... Simple... I expect a face pic as you can usually see mine... If I don't get one and I respond then assume I have no interest in meeting you"
Totally agree x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never send a face pic on line it's to dangerous, I prefer to meet up for a cuppa and see how it goes, we all know how bad the Internet is .. so no to face pics tea first lol sry just speaking from experience |
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