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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How much trust do you need for being on fab?
It takes a lot of trust that someone is who they say they are, behind a profile text.
It takes trust that someone will turn up when they say they will…. And there’s more trust that needs to be given.
But why do we place faith in strangers? Is it hope that people are generally good people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a woman especially, trust is important but it's more faith on here. You have to have faith in your own instincts, gut feelings and the person you choose to meet privately will do you no harm. Trust is built after you know a person but you need to take the leap of faith to get there. |
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All depends what others do with your trust.
I've never once doubted that people would turn up because of the conversation beforehand and I've never had a no show.
People have trusted me with information and I've never abused that but unfortunately others are quite happy to use it as currency.
Those I do trust though are in no doubt that I do and it is reciprocated. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net."
I still treat people as individuals, but I’m definitely a little more suspicious to new people coming into my messages online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment
Then i went to a social and realised people genuinely don't give a fuck 
I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location |
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It takes some level of trust, I mean as a couple to be here a huge level of trust between us is required if there's any trust issues there then fab isn't the place.
For meets, I do kinda trust that what they say is true, they'll meet when they say, they look like their pics and they are the age they say they are, also that they aren't going to tie me up in their loft, I think it's easier as a couple we have each other should any issues arise, but yeah a certain level of trust must be there to meet I'd say.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment
…..
I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location "
Are you some kind of superhero?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment
…..
I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location
Are you some kind of superhero? "
I can't tell you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes some level of trust, I mean as a couple to be here a huge level of trust between us is required if there's any trust issues there then fab isn't the place.
For meets, I do kinda trust that what they say is true, they'll meet when they say, they look like their pics and they are the age they say they are, also that they aren't going to tie me up in their loft, I think it's easier as a couple we have each other should any issues arise, but yeah a certain level of trust must be there to meet I'd say.
Mrs "
This^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually two years
I got wait 2 years. How about 2 weeks then I can get in your pants
You first need to message. That would be a great start
But men on here message first"
You can wait for me to message you then  |
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"I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net.
I still treat people as individuals, but I’m definitely a little more suspicious to new people coming into my messages online. "
Yep we treat people as individuals but I've been kicking around internet forums since Handbag days and in that time I've witnessed some spectacular catfishing, before it was a word. A cup of coffee and a chat at least proves a person who looks vaguely as described exists, the rest is down to luck and judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I joined here as a trusting person. Now I am not. I trust myself and my instincts and that’s enough for me. "
^^ this.
I've recently lost faith in the goodness, kindness and humanity of people. A long con and a fake friend have cured me of trusting or looking. Hence the closed profile.
I always guarded against the obvious players and users but not him & it's often those closest you have to watch out for.
I'm not on here cheating or have anything to hide or be ashamed of so I'm rather open about my personal info, to a point.
But as far as feelings go. No chance. Not any more. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Trust is built over time. I would never trust someone I barely know especially on here. It's why I have a social before I plan anything else with anyone on here. Because yes people have turned up who were nothing like their pics or how they were when chatting on here.
Even when meeting someone more than once off here it takes a long time before I would fully trust anyone,in fact there is one person on here I can say I completely trust on here and that trust is mutual we have built that up over a long time of getting to know each other.
Others have fooled me for short periods but they were never real friends anyhow. It was always one sided.We live and learn though and don't make the same mistakes again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to think I can trust everyone at first until they say things or give me a reason not to and then I can decide if I want to carry on chatting to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eh, usually I'd say it takes a good while of constant chatting, videos, voice notes etc. But occasionally you'll get a good feeling about someone and you just trust your gut that they are genuine even if you've not spoken loads. I do prefer to take my time getting to know someone. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"How much trust do you need for being on fab?
It takes a lot of trust that someone is who they say they are, behind a profile text.
It takes trust that someone will turn up when they say they will…. And there’s more trust that needs to be given.
But why do we place faith in strangers? Is it hope that people are generally good people? "
I guess it depends how you're using the site really.
We mainly meet in clubs so little trust required for that. The club will always be there and if someone we're planning to meet doesn't show then there'll be others there and we always have eachother.
In terms of working out who's real? Pretty easy in many a case. Most we'd probably want to meet at some point are active in the forums, have met and been verified by people we know, or people known by people we know, or by clubs etc. It's kind of a Kevin Bacon 'six degrees of separation' thing. When you've been on the site over a decade and watched the comings and goings you'll know some people are real just by their site activity and history.
With newbies and non forum users it's just a case of being sensible. Trust won't be there initially of course but there are those we'd give the benefit of the doubt to without question and those we'd be more cynical about from the get go.
But we don't rush anything. Ever. So trust can be built over however long it takes and if we get let down ever then it won't have been anything that has cost us time, money or effort. So no biggie. And we rarely give second chances.
A |
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. Life changes is doesn’t it? 
Trust is earned not given freely.