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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been asked several times by a variety of different women, "Are you an Alpha male?. This left me dumbfounded, because I'm definitely not an Alpha male, and I know that because I actually looked into what it is to be can alpha, and why women are so obsessed with finding one is a mystery when you actually get a definitive account of what it is to be an Alpha male or female.
So for all those ladies who told me that I wasn't suitable here's something to think about.
Taken from the research of the Good Men Project.
The ‘so-called’ Alpha Male.
When men brag about themselves or someone being an alpha male, many negative traits were discovered. They’re often dominating, vulgar, short-tempered, sexists, and violent. These types of attributes have hindered men for far too long. Having spoken about the mistakes made in my past, many have fallen into the trap of toxic ideas about what makes a man a man. The Armed Forces, which promoted a culture of toxic masculinity. An idealized version of masculinity very few men actually lived up to and the ones that did were the most miserable to be around.
Men should not be striving to be an asshole or bully or both.
Some men think being an alpha male means dominating other people. And always making yourself the de facto leader. It’s a statement that holds true for all people, ‘no one person knows everything, but every person knows something.’ You may be okay with leading a camping trip, or organising a party or a business meeting. But if you get more than a flat tire on your car, then you're going to follow the lead of any person who knows a helluva lot more about cars than you do to fix the problem.
The most common and outdated idea of being an Alpha Male was that it was OK to be a bully. To belittle others and make yourself look bigger than the rest.I
This is a negative trait which no one admires, so it doesn't pay to be like that. If a man started a fistfight because someone cut them off in traffic on the way to work, are they displaying a mature sensible attitude or a primitive chest beating one?
Q. So What's better than being an Alpha?
A. Being An Evolving man/woman
The kind of man that makes a mark in this world isn’t a so-called ‘Alpha Male” that bullies their way to the top. If you make it to the top that way, they’ll be plenty of people waiting for your downfall. And when you do fall, you’ve been such an asshole no one will help you when you’re down.
An evolved man is a man that leaves his mark but in a positive way. They’ve uplifted others, traveled far and wide, been teachers, and mentors to those who needed direction, they continue to learn and grow. This isn’t saying that an evolved man can’t make mistakes. Or that an evolved man must be perfect at all times. It isn’t about being the uber agreeable nice guy that tries to get along with everyone and never stands up for themselves or others.
No, an evolved man is assertive, always keeps their word, they’re kind, considerate and supportive of others. They’re the type of men in leadership who are willing to step aside when the time comes. They’re the type who build up others around them, including the women in their lives. And they’re the ones to learn from their mistakes. So ladies say goodbye to the outdated idea of the ‘alpha male’ being the guy you want, because it’s some stupid shit made up by humans to classify the different roles of the Wolves in a pack, not the people in your lives.
Now it's time for everyone else to put their own stamp on this.
"
Having all of those traits doesn't automatically mean someone is as your describing. It's knowing how to use them in the right situations. You've got to learn how to control yourself before you try to control others |
Generally anyone who considers themselves any of the Alpha, Sigma, or more evolved than all of that fall into the same category as nice guys to me. If you have to say it and tell me all the ways you fit that ideal, then it's not being demonstrated, and we're incompatible.
and don’t want to become one either 
