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Would you

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool

Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not when I'm on my period and not when you're on your period.

F

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Not when I'm on my period and not when you're on your period.

F"

Every leap year then? It's a date!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

You seem a little frustrated OP x

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By *adyBugsWoman  over a year ago

cognito

Self fucking seems way easier and more accessible to be fair. So I fuck me too. It is Valentines after all

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually

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By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Someone’s still not able to wank…

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By *herry delightWoman  over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I don't think you would want me to fuck you as when I switch I am not a nice person. XXX

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

You seem a little frustrated OP x "

A little!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Self fucking seems way easier and more accessible to be fair. So I fuck me too. It is Valentines after all "

Seems fucking and self love!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


""

I'll take that as a yes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh I so would

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Someone’s still not able to wank… "

I attempted, and failed!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I don't think you would want me to fuck you as when I switch I am not a nice person. XXX "

I'm far too delicate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I would not. I don't think it would be consentual and you wouldn't like it.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Oh I so would "

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"No I would not. I don't think it would be consentual and you wouldn't like it. "

Valid answer, good sir!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Someone’s still not able to wank…

I attempted, and failed! "

you need to be ambidextrous - maybe a little more practice?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs

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By *viatrixWoman  over a year ago

Redhill


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Yeah. With a body like that I think I would. *nods*

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Someone’s still not able to wank…

I attempted, and failed!

you need to be ambidextrous - maybe a little more practice?"

Seems like too much effort

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs

"

Nope! 100% of my own creation!...

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

Yeah. With a body like that I think I would. *nods* "

Only think? Needs 100% certainty

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By *isge BeathaWoman  over a year ago

Here, There and Everywhere


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Absolutely, when the Moon is in orbit with Mars.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs

Nope! 100% of my own creation!... "

I am sure it's a quote from the Jamie Gumm character from SOTL when he's pratting about in his skin suit

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By *alking HeadMan  over a year ago

Bolton

You say your straight, but then say you would fuck yourself hard, if you were someone else. Now I'm not offering, your not my type, but I know some guys who might help you out.

You might want to be careful how you word things on here!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

Absolutely, when the Moon is in orbit with Mars. "

Wait a minute...

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs

Nope! 100% of my own creation!...

I am sure it's a quote from the Jamie Gumm character from SOTL when he's pratting about in his skin suit "

Shhhhhhh! Don't ruin it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Well. You do tickle my fancy

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"You say your straight, but then say you would fuck yourself hard, if you were someone else. Now I'm not offering, your not my type, but I know some guys who might help you out.

You might want to be careful how you word things on here!"

I said nothing about if I were somebody else.

Oh I know exactly what to expect with wording when it comes to this place.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

Well. You do tickle my fancy "

I swear, I did no such tickling of any fancies!

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By *isge BeathaWoman  over a year ago

Here, There and Everywhere


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

Absolutely, when the Moon is in orbit with Mars.

Wait a minute... "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

I would but... geography... and I'm a retired fkr

Did you ever notice how retired is re- tired.

Like not just a bit done in, but totally shagged out.

Tired out the once, then re-tired...

That's me atm

XxkissesxX

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

I would but... geography... and I'm a retired fkr

Did you ever notice how retired is re- tired.

Like not just a bit done in, but totally shagged out.

Tired out the once, then re-tired...

That's me atm

XxkissesxX"

A bit like just when you thought you were out they pulled you back in? I mean in a total none sexual way!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

I would but... geography... and I'm a retired fkr

Did you ever notice how retired is re- tired.

Like not just a bit done in, but totally shagged out.

Tired out the once, then re-tired...

That's me atm

XxkissesxX

A bit like just when you thought you were out they pulled you back in? I mean in a total none sexual way! "

Or when I'm playing solo and as I go to get up and shower decide to have another and another and another and can't work my abs out for 3 days after

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

I would but... geography... and I'm a retired fkr

Did you ever notice how retired is re- tired.

Like not just a bit done in, but totally shagged out.

Tired out the once, then re-tired...

That's me atm

XxkissesxX

A bit like just when you thought you were out they pulled you back in? I mean in a total none sexual way!

Or when I'm playing solo and as I go to get up and shower decide to have another and another and another and can't work my abs out for 3 days after "

I prefer that description!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I’m not into blokes so your arse whole is safe. But I’ll fuck your life in the blink of an eye. I’m good at that.

The mr

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By *rhugesMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Sounds as though you are really into yourself

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I’m not into blokes so your arse whole is safe. But I’ll fuck your life in the blink of an eye. I’m good at that.

The mr "

I'm very good at doing that myself!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Horny much?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I absolutely would. The Scouse things a little off putting but as long as you don't make a sound we are good to go my friend!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Horny much?"

Frustrated

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I absolutely would. The Scouse things a little off putting but as long as you don't make a sound we are good to go my friend!"

PreyToTheFairies has also made this clear many times!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Horny much?

Frustrated "

Oh, I can't help. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh baby yes please now imagine this you are in a hotel room and I knock at your door. "You asked for your toilet to be unblocked sir?" I say as I enter room 6969. I go to the lilac ensuite and see the big floater in the toilet but don't worry because I have brought my plumbing tools along and as I put on my latex gloves I can feel with my sensitive eyeballs your penis stiffen as your dream comes true of finally watching a woman deal with your shit. As I break it down with my fingers you remove your pants and ask me if I'd like to have penetrative sex. I say yes and don't even have the time to take off my gloves. I pull up my 78 inch long professional plumbing gown and reveal my hairy minge as I bend over the toilet. You don't like the sight but any hole is a goal when your dream is coming true. You guide your big fat cock into my wet warm minge and it only takes four thrusts before you pull out and dunk my head down the toilet as you erupt all over my professional plumbing gown. But don't worry I didn't drown in the toilet because it is blocked and there is not much water left after all of my previous work.

You are embarrassed and so am I but at least we both had satisfying and unique sex. I pull my professional plumbing gown back down and ask if you want to watch me finish the job. You lean against the sink with your cock now flaccid and watch as I work my magic. I finally finish up and leave your toilet sparkling clean. I thank you for the sex, and you awkwardly grin and ask me to shake your penis as a gesture of gratitude. I leave the room and we never mention it again to our friends or family.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Horny much?

Frustrated

Oh, I can't help. Sorry. "

Its the thought that counts

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I absolutely would. The Scouse things a little off putting but as long as you don't make a sound we are good to go my friend!

PreyToTheFairies has also made this clear many times! "

It's cool it's what gags were made for!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Oh baby yes please now imagine this you are in a hotel room and I knock at your door. "You asked for your toilet to be unblocked sir?" I say as I enter room 6969. I go to the lilac ensuite and see the big floater in the toilet but don't worry because I have brought my plumbing tools along and as I put on my latex gloves I can feel with my sensitive eyeballs your penis stiffen as your dream comes true of finally watching a woman deal with your shit. As I break it down with my fingers you remove your pants and ask me if I'd like to have penetrative sex. I say yes and don't even have the time to take off my gloves. I pull up my 78 inch long professional plumbing gown and reveal my hairy minge as I bend over the toilet. You don't like the sight but any hole is a goal when your dream is coming true. You guide your big fat cock into my wet warm minge and it only takes four thrusts before you pull out and dunk my head down the toilet as you erupt all over my professional plumbing gown. But don't worry I didn't drown in the toilet because it is blocked and there is not much water left after all of my previous work.

You are embarrassed and so am I but at least we both had satisfying and unique sex. I pull my professional plumbing gown back down and ask if you want to watch me finish the job. You lean against the sink with your cock now flaccid and watch as I work my magic. I finally finish up and leave your toilet sparkling clean. I thank you for the sex, and you awkwardly grin and ask me to shake your penis as a gesture of gratitude. I leave the room and we never mention it again to our friends or family."

This is an incredible flight of fancy! I enjoy the fact that the plumbing gown is professional

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh baby yes please now imagine this you are in a hotel room and I knock at your door. "You asked for your toilet to be unblocked sir?" I say as I enter room 6969. I go to the lilac ensuite and see the big floater in the toilet but don't worry because I have brought my plumbing tools along and as I put on my latex gloves I can feel with my sensitive eyeballs your penis stiffen as your dream comes true of finally watching a woman deal with your shit. As I break it down with my fingers you remove your pants and ask me if I'd like to have penetrative sex. I say yes and don't even have the time to take off my gloves. I pull up my 78 inch long professional plumbing gown and reveal my hairy minge as I bend over the toilet. You don't like the sight but any hole is a goal when your dream is coming true. You guide your big fat cock into my wet warm minge and it only takes four thrusts before you pull out and dunk my head down the toilet as you erupt all over my professional plumbing gown. But don't worry I didn't drown in the toilet because it is blocked and there is not much water left after all of my previous work.

You are embarrassed and so am I but at least we both had satisfying and unique sex. I pull my professional plumbing gown back down and ask if you want to watch me finish the job. You lean against the sink with your cock now flaccid and watch as I work my magic. I finally finish up and leave your toilet sparkling clean. I thank you for the sex, and you awkwardly grin and ask me to shake your penis as a gesture of gratitude. I leave the room and we never mention it again to our friends or family."

Lemon please write an erotic novel because I hand on heart would buy that shit. Not his to clarify. I don't need that momento.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Oh baby yes please now imagine this you are in a hotel room and I knock at your door. "You asked for your toilet to be unblocked sir?" I say as I enter room 6969. I go to the lilac ensuite and see the big floater in the toilet but don't worry because I have brought my plumbing tools along and as I put on my latex gloves I can feel with my sensitive eyeballs your penis stiffen as your dream comes true of finally watching a woman deal with your shit. As I break it down with my fingers you remove your pants and ask me if I'd like to have penetrative sex. I say yes and don't even have the time to take off my gloves. I pull up my 78 inch long professional plumbing gown and reveal my hairy minge as I bend over the toilet. You don't like the sight but any hole is a goal when your dream is coming true. You guide your big fat cock into my wet warm minge and it only takes four thrusts before you pull out and dunk my head down the toilet as you erupt all over my professional plumbing gown. But don't worry I didn't drown in the toilet because it is blocked and there is not much water left after all of my previous work.

You are embarrassed and so am I but at least we both had satisfying and unique sex. I pull my professional plumbing gown back down and ask if you want to watch me finish the job. You lean against the sink with your cock now flaccid and watch as I work my magic. I finally finish up and leave your toilet sparkling clean. I thank you for the sex, and you awkwardly grin and ask me to shake your penis as a gesture of gratitude. I leave the room and we never mention it again to our friends or family."

I am now 100% convinced you just input words and an AI comes up with a story

Well, there is my future wank material once I am able to effectively wank again. Thank you for your contribution.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Go on then OP. Seen as you put it so eloquently

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By *r laidbackMan  over a year ago

London & New Brighton

With all due respect.... Am i the only one thinking " well go fuck yourself then" come on its too big an opportunity not to say that, you laid it out lol

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"With all due respect.... Am i the only one thinking " well go fuck yourself then" come on its too big an opportunity not to say that, you laid it out lol"

Oh I thought the exact same thing when making the post!

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

If I had the proper equipment... Oh wait... Let me just strap something on...

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"If I had the proper equipment... Oh wait... Let me just strap something on... "

Put it awa. Don't you come near me with that thing!

... Oh so this is what it feels like to say that

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By *ickshawedCouple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Can we just spoon? I've no energy for fucking

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't fuck me.

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'm far too shy for that kinda thing

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Can we just spoon? I've no energy for fucking "

I mean I do like spooning. And I guess we can... But not really in line with the thread is it.

Would you spoon me? I'd spoon me. I'd spoon me hard. I'd spoon me so hard.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't fuck me."

But if I were you and you were me, would you fuck me?

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'm far too shy for that kinda thing "

That's okay CG, you can have a bro hug.

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By *hunky GentMan  over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I'm far too shy for that kinda thing

That's okay CG, you can have a bro hug. "

Deal

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan  over a year ago

Bourne lincs

Would u spank me or cane me ?

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would u spank me or cane me ?"

I would not

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By *ickshawedCouple  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Can we just spoon? I've no energy for fucking

I mean I do like spooning. And I guess we can... But not really in line with the thread is it.

Would you spoon me? I'd spoon me. I'd spoon me hard. I'd spoon me so hard."

I prefer the spoon to be soft, but if it turns into a fork it can be hard

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By *ottodot123Couple  over a year ago

Gillingham

Based on your profile pic it's a yes from me

Ms Dot

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Can we just spoon? I've no energy for fucking

I mean I do like spooning. And I guess we can... But not really in line with the thread is it.

Would you spoon me? I'd spoon me. I'd spoon me hard. I'd spoon me so hard.

I prefer the spoon to be soft, but if it turns into a fork it can be hard "

The spoon may be the only soft thing though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry OP, never top guys. Truth is, I don't even like guys, but do enjoy cock, go and figure, oh the irony.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Sorry OP, never top guys. Truth is, I don't even like guys, but do enjoy cock, go and figure, oh the irony. "

That's okay! I accept your decision.

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Too old for me sorry!

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.

Too old for me sorry! "

Understandable

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry OP, never top guys. Truth is, I don't even like guys, but do enjoy cock, go and figure, oh the irony.

That's okay! I accept your decision. "

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By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Till your nose flows floods of cum.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

Do you have a lovely handsome face, OP? That's a deal breaker

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Till your nose flows floods of cum. "

This guy gets it

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you have a lovely handsome face, OP? That's a deal breaker "

But which answer breaks the deal!?

I do not

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

I'd fuck me.

Can't remember the actual/rest of the question because I'm busy one handed typing this as I think about fucking myself.

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'd fuck me.

Can't remember the actual/rest of the question because I'm busy one handed typing this as I think about fucking myself.

"

That's the gist of it anyway

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't fuck me.

But if I were you and you were me, would you fuck me? "

I'd be a man, so I'd fuck anything.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple  over a year ago

Southampton


"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard."

Oh definitely

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't fuck me.

But if I were you and you were me, would you fuck me?

I'd be a man, so I'd fuck anything."

Rude! But you have a point

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Do you have a lovely handsome face, OP? That's a deal breaker

But which answer breaks the deal!?

I do not"

Excellent, I'll defo bang you then. Do you mind wearing *this* lovely mask, please?

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By *aitonel OP   Man  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Do you have a lovely handsome face, OP? That's a deal breaker

But which answer breaks the deal!?

I do not

Excellent, I'll defo bang you then. Do you mind wearing *this* lovely mask, please? "

No masks!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Do you have a lovely handsome face, OP? That's a deal breaker

But which answer breaks the deal!?

I do not

Excellent, I'll defo bang you then. Do you mind wearing *this* lovely mask, please?

No masks! "

I thought we could role play

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