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Are you an only child?
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I dunno, I just feel really guilty sometimes. And try to justify not having another kid. But I don't think I can leave her without one. I don’t even mind if they aren't super close, I just want her to have that sibling bond and some proper family other than me and her dad.
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"I guess I feel sad because although she has family here she doesn't have any family that would be close in age which bothers me more than it should. I come from a big family and siblings and cousins were a massive part of my life growing up. I just don't want her childhood to feel empty if she never finds a friend she can call her bestie... but part of me really doesn't want to go through childbirth again or get too caught up thinking about what the future holds for any more kids I bring into this world.
I dunno, I just feel really guilty sometimes. And try to justify not having another kid. But I don't think I can leave her without one. I don’t even mind if they aren't super close, I just want her to have that sibling bond and some proper family other than me and her dad.
"Adoption? Another Child, not your own...  | |||
But we do have a laugh together, and we would fight to the death, for each other. That fun and the loyalty means a lot | |||
"No" Ah I see.  | |||
"I’m an only child. I was spoilt. With love. The only downside is that I cannot share things. I’ve never had to and I often don’t want to, so I am probably selfish. I would have liked an older brother but it is what it is. I have two children and their arguments stress me out. My mum had four brothers and she said they were gits. They pushed her (in her pram!) down a hill when they were all young. "Your poor mum. Sounds like my childhood too.
Yes that's the joy of having more than one I suppose. I'll have all that stress to enjoy. | |||
xx | |||
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"And how do you feel about it? Do you ever feel lonely? I'd really like to just have one child but the thought of my little human growing up without any siblings makes me sad. So how was it for you?" I'm not an only child but wish I was!! Siblings aren't always a source of love & comfort. My son is an only child. He's grown to be a kind, mature, interesting 21 year old who makes friends easily & is universally liked. Because we only had him, our house was the hub for all of his friends to gather so he was never lonely. | |||
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"And how do you feel about it? Do you ever feel lonely? I'd really like to just have one child but the thought of my little human growing up without any siblings makes me sad. So how was it for you? I'm not an only child but wish I was!! Siblings aren't always a source of love & comfort. My son is an only child. He's grown to be a kind, mature, interesting 21 year old who makes friends easily & is universally liked. Because we only had him, our house was the hub for all of his friends to gather so he was never lonely. " I totally get that! I have a difficult relationship with most of my brothers and they have brought me nothing but misery but I can't imagine life without them. My little one does have loads of friends but nobody yet who is a big constant in her life. She's still tiny so I'm sure it will come, I just worry if it doesn't and then she has nobody around. I'm overthinking it I know. | |||
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"I think this is one of those things that there won't ever be a truely helpful answer since pretty much everyone is biased toward their own experience and won't ever have experienced the other side to give a good comparison, especially when circumstances growing up will have been highly different. " Yes you're right. I was hoping this would solve my problem but it didn't. I think I'm going to do it but *screams* why is it so difficult?!
I have considered adoption though! I'd love to. I'll see what happens over the next few years. | |||
"For what it’s worth I have a younger brother. We are totally different people and fought like hell growing up. We don’t talk at all so I never felt like I had a brother, if that makes sense. I do hear that only children are often considered independent, good at making new friends and close to their parents. All of these sound pretty good. If childbirth is the big thing, are women able to opt for caesarean section? Please forgive the naivety of this question, I don’t know whether that’s valid/offensive." A cesarean wouldn't make it any easier. I've never had one, but from what women have told me it's much worse than a vaginal delivery. You're cut wide open and then you've got a newborn to look after, you'll have no rest. I'm hoping I'll never have to go down that route. It's not just childbirth too. I was very sick in pregnancy, and my daughter was unwell. And then the sleepless nights and days that last for what feels like a lifetime. And all that worrying and anxiety. I wouldn't change my little one but it's hard work. | |||
"I have one brother. Fought like cat & dog when younger but are close now. We have a huge family with lots of cousins so had such lovely memories of growing up together, we’d all meet at my grandads three times a week. Now all the cousins have kids so they’re close too. " I wish my little one had that. She did until we moved country but we had no choice. I feel like being surrounded by family when you're young makes a big difference. | |||
"And how do you feel about it? Do you ever feel lonely? I'd really like to just have one child but the thought of my little human growing up without any siblings makes me sad. So how was it for you? I'm not an only child but wish I was!! Siblings aren't always a source of love & comfort. My son is an only child. He's grown to be a kind, mature, interesting 21 year old who makes friends easily & is universally liked. Because we only had him, our house was the hub for all of his friends to gather so he was never lonely. I totally get that! I have a difficult relationship with most of my brothers and they have brought me nothing but misery but I can't imagine life without them. My little one does have loads of friends but nobody yet who is a big constant in her life. She's still tiny so I'm sure it will come, I just worry if it doesn't and then she has nobody around. I'm overthinking it I know. " I think you might be just a little bit, but that's what loving parents do!! The thing is, your child will only be accustomed to their own upbringing, so that'll be normal. Sure, kids can compare with their mates when they're older, but that's normal. All of their friends with siblings will likely be doing the same, wishing they were only children!!! | |||
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"And how do you feel about it? Do you ever feel lonely? I'd really like to just have one child but the thought of my little human growing up without any siblings makes me sad. So how was it for you?" Only child. At least I thought I was. Grew up as one. Discovered I had siblings a few years ago. Spoke to one of them and they accused me of only turning up due to death in their family and that I was after an inheritance. (In truth I knew nothing of the death) I put the phone down and have no intention of getting entangled with them. Managed 54 years on my own thanks. | |||
"For what it’s worth I have a younger brother. We are totally different people and fought like hell growing up. We don’t talk at all so I never felt like I had a brother, if that makes sense. I do hear that only children are often considered independent, good at making new friends and close to their parents. All of these sound pretty good. If childbirth is the big thing, are women able to opt for caesarean section? Please forgive the naivety of this question, I don’t know whether that’s valid/offensive. A cesarean wouldn't make it any easier. I've never had one, but from what women have told me it's much worse than a vaginal delivery. You're cut wide open and then you've got a newborn to look after, you'll have no rest. I'm hoping I'll never have to go down that route. It's not just childbirth too. I was very sick in pregnancy, and my daughter was unwell. And then the sleepless nights and days that last for what feels like a lifetime. And all that worrying and anxiety. I wouldn't change my little one but it's hard work. " Ah ok, yes that makes total sense. I know pregnancy can be a huge burden, physically and emotionally. I hadn’t appreciated it’s also about not looking after a newborn. I’ve never experienced that but can only begin to imagine how much it takes out of parents, not least if you also have their sister to sort out. Perhaps a rescue is the way forward. | |||
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"I'm have a sister two years younger than me, I don't think we were really close as kids. She moved away, only 20 miles, married and we only saw each other at family gatherings once or twice a year. After 15 years, she and her husband moved closer, only 8 miles away . Two years later, she's 40 and announces that she's pregnant despite being told at 20 that she couldn't have kids. I visited her the day my nephew was born and promised that I would be the best uncle I could be. We became very close, I used to babysit every week and sometimes take him away for a night in the camper. He's been spoilt rotten by me, both sets of grandparents, etc. But he's now a pleasent well mannered 16 year old, he's never been lonely and I think he's had a great childhood. I wouldn't worry, kids get used to their circumstances. " Aww, your nephew sounds like a lucky lad to have you guys as his family | |||
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Such a dilemma. Especially going back and forth with the idea, but then I think if I don't want another one I can't surley have one for the sake of just having another so she can have a sibling? But will I feel different when she's a bit older. I don't know.
Miss S x | |||
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"And how do you feel about it? Do you ever feel lonely? I'd really like to just have one child but the thought of my little human growing up without any siblings makes me sad. So how was it for you?" Yes, alone. | |||
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"I’m an only child and wouldn’t change it for the world! My mam and dad are my best mates and we are a complete team. I only have one daughter and do sometimes think I wish she had a sibling - for the only reason when she is older she has some support when we are not here or are poorly and need help. I am aware if my parents health declines I am kind of a one woman band on that front x" Even if you had another siberling, you might have ended up being there only support. For me my daughter has always helped out with her grandma. Something im thankful of. | |||
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"I am not. But as no one is talking to one another, it is sort of the same " yes this too, sounds like my lot ! | |||
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It's been amazing reading from so many different perspectives.
Thank you Elephantis for that wonderful response. It's the lack of family here that make this feel worse than what it is I think. I don't know why I worry, because she is social and gets on with everyone. But it's the lack of something solid I suppose. But what you said is correct, kids are good at adapting.
Thank you to those who shared privately too. 
I apreciate it besties. | |||
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"I’m an only child… n it’s never bothered me. Until now with an ill parent. There’s no one to help out. " Having siblings guarantees nothing! Even though I am physically disabled myself, I often have to push my brother into doing things for Dad. Not because he's unfeeling, but because he has a job and two young children to support. But I physically cannot do much to help nowadays. I know many families where siblings fall out over the split of "care" of ill or elderly parents. | |||
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"I’m an only child… n it’s never bothered me. Until now with an ill parent. There’s no one to help out. " I once called a helpline in desperation because I was at the end of my tether with my mum and dad. The very nice woman who answered asked if I had siblings. I replied that I did until it came to helping with mum and dad when I was effectively an only child. | |||
"I’m an only child… n it’s never bothered me. Until now with an ill parent. There’s no one to help out. Having siblings guarantees nothing! Even though I am physically disabled myself, I often have to push my brother into doing things for Dad. Not because he's unfeeling, but because he has a job and two young children to support. But I physically cannot do much to help nowadays. I know many families where siblings fall out over the split of "care" of ill or elderly parents. " Me too. The only reason I haven't fallen out with my brother's is because I've made a conscious decision not to. | |||
"Limoncello, you must think about your own health and sanity in this too. You said you'd had a lot of sickness (often gets worse in subsequent pregnancies) and a tough labour. And might feel it very challenging to have the baby and your daughter to care for at the same time (though I'm sure you'll work that out). Don't make the decision for your daughter, because ultimately she will be just fine as a single child. Make it for you and your partner and especially for your own wellbeing, as you have to grow the baba inside your lovely body and fire it out from your vay-jay-jay. And you might choose to sacrifice your magnificent boobsticles for the greater good of mankind. You and also your partner should be the main focus of your decision "Thanks Kayceeeeeeee KC kinky. You are always a very wise woman with your words. | |||
