FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Thank you, Fabsters

Thank you, Fabsters

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Soooooooo, as some of the lovely folk here know, I have been incarcerated in Chez NHS since 22 Jan and suffered from horrific pain and loss of mobility for a good week prior to that, which I spent living upstairs mainly on my own. Mr KC lovingly left me little packed lunches and flasks of tea but he had to go to work.

I was admitted to a women's health ward because my initial presentation and history of gynae issues suggested a possible ovarian torsion or mass or something similar, and I was also experiencing bladder symptoms. I finished up with an indwelling catheter, which was only removed on Tuesday this week.

Anyhow, getting diagnostic scans in this institution seems to be problematic and it has taken two weeks of doctors arguing and passing the buck for an MRI scan to be carried out. A cursory ultrasound was done about three days after my arrival to put the ovarian theory to bed. Yesterday, the results were shared and make perfect sense.

I am suffering from a significant exacerbation and progression of degenerative disc disease. I have disc issues at all lumbar levels, with particularly bad issues between L4 to S1. New news since previous scans is the degree of spinal stenosis, which is also affecting all levels on the left hand side. This causes neurogenic claudication and weakness in my legs and feet probably some of my bladder symptoms.

I have experienced a disc prolapse before and have also given birth to two children without a single iota of pain relief. But this has been something else. I have never experienced pain like it and it has been relentless, never ending, constant and unremitting.

I'm taking mega super duper strong painkillers but I seem to be a poor metaboliser and so the effect is limited to making the pain more tolerable. Physios have been torturing me daily since last week and I am just about able to drag my left leg forward and use all my upper body strength to make slow progress on a walking frame. I cannot scale stairs.

I have been told directly by a doctor that I am bed blocking and they have been trying to get rid of me since before the MRI was carried out. Tomorrow, I will be unceremoniously dumped upstairs in my house by the ambulance service, where I will remain. The good news among all this shitshow is our bungalow move is on for next Friday so, all things being well, all I need to do is fling myself down the stairs once, to leave the house for ever. It's good news but tinged with sadness at effectively being forced to move areas and house just because of my health (we have investigated trying to adapt the house etc and it simply was not feasible for various reasons, not least because we'd have to pay for every single penny ourselves).

I am missing Mr KC so much, he's only really been able to visit at weekends because he has our young daughter at home and can't drive. It was our daughter's 6th birthday on Saturday which of course, I missed. I haven't been to work for 3 weeks and desperately miss my normal routine, even though continuing to work has been painful and stressful at times.

Throughout my stay here, lots of Fabsters have been checking in on me, more so than some so-called friends. I've had few visitors in the 18 days of my stay so far (small family and few friends in the area) so receiving messages etc from people here has somewhat compensated.

I'm hopeful that I will be able to stop taking this horrible pain medicine at some point and return just to my baseline Pregabalin. I want to get back to work and my wheelchair sports and the gym. I want to spend time with my daughter and family and more than anything, I want a day off* from the pain.

*Not going to happen

I worry about how this is going to progress and worsen, because it ain't going to get better. It's been really hard to stay sane and positive etc. but knowing there are people I can message at 2am has been really cathartic.

So, as I prepare for the next stage in my incarceration (returning to Upstairs), thank you everyone for the messages and for the entertainment on the forum.

PS: It's my choice to share the above. If anyone disagrees and doesn't want to know my tale of woe, please hit the "back" button and instead comment on whether squirt is piss or something more suitable. Ta.

Much love and affection to all,

Mrs KC

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Away for Christmas

To be hone OP...

I'm just kidding!

I'm genuinely terrible at expressing feelings on such matters, so won't say much. I tend to joke and attempt humour to lighten the mood and bring a bit of light to whoever is suffering but always know there is empathy and compassion for what you are going through behind what I say.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aizyWoman over a year ago

west midlands

I'm glad you've finally got some answers OP and are going home, I am sorry for all the pain you are in, hopefully your move to your bungalow will make things slightly easier for you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

Aw Mrs. I’m sorry you’re still in pain. My inbox is always open if you ever want a chat about anything. There are many odd things I like to chat about.

When I was laid up for 3 months over summer, fab was a lifeline to me too xx

Mrs m

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your story shows your strength and resilience. I hope your move will be a turning point for you and you can get back to a full family life. Wishing you all the best.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Hello lovely x

Just hold on the thought that the end of the house with stairs is near….

Will they be able to do anything about your back/spine/discs in the future?

J x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Hello lovely x

Just hold on the thought that the end of the house with stairs is near….

Will they be able to do anything about your back/spine/discs in the future?

J x"

I don't know if anything can be done. There's no spinal or neurology at this hospital so they're referring me back to the big regional place where I was previously discharged from. Heaven knows how long until an appointment or whether they'll even accept the referral to be honest.

There's absolutely nothing in the short to medium term unfortunately.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have read some of your earlier posts, but I didn't know the extent of what you are experiencing. I wish I had been one of those people you were able to reach out to. Maybe I can be someone you message from now on.

You are so positive, you are inspirational. Huge hugs and much love to you all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'd say 'get well soon' but that of course is unlikely.

But hopefully the house move will help, the NHS will stop being wankers - I've seen many a bed blocker over the years but you're definitely not one of those - and the pain will eventually subside a little.

Great to hear the NW contingent of Fab has been so supportive.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I'd say 'get well soon' but that of course is unlikely.

Great to hear the NW contingent of Fab has been so supportive.

Some of the things I've seen whilst on this ward, beggar belief.

Most of the nurses and HCAs (but not all) have been lovely and caring and supportive, despite regularly being short staffed and under resourced. To have something as simple as paracetamol frequently running out is just a joke, for example. They are so keen to send people home and are short on diagnostic capacity, that they are sending people home too soon and without knowing if they have anything serious going on. An "urgent" scan takes 4-5 days here, for example, and that was for a lady with query uterine rupture after a hysteroscopy.

It's bonkers.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Hey Mrs KC, what a frustrating saga you’ve lived through! I’ve followed your progress (or lack thereof!) over the past few weeks and I’m dreadfully sorry you’re going through this pain and uncertainty.

Somehow you’ve managed to keep your sense of humour and I enjoy reading your updates and filthy fun haha.

I’m so pleased your bungalow move happened in the end, hopefully that will help you and Mr KC (he sounds like a bit of a ledge btw).

I hope the good old nhs is able to offer you some valid treatment and give you genuine hope for a pain free life. Good on you for keeping those goals in your sights.

Always happy to chat if you’re bored but I’m unable to stay awake past midnight these days!!

Servavo fidem

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

You’ve had a pretty shite time of it but hopefully the bungalow move will be the start of a more positive time, home wise at least.

Chin up lovely x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

Whoa, you've been through the ringer, KC.

Really glad the move's imminent. I hope things improve and you do get back to work, to the gym and to sports soon. I can imagine how much you're missing normality. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for the odd pain free day for you too. But rest assured we'll be here to chat rubbish on the forum at any time!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Hey Mrs KC, what a frustrating saga you’ve lived through! I’ve followed your progress (or lack thereof!) over the past few weeks and I’m dreadfully sorry you’re going through this pain and uncertainty.

Somehow you’ve managed to keep your sense of humour and I enjoy reading your updates and filthy fun haha.

I’m so pleased your bungalow move happened in the end, hopefully that will help you and Mr KC (he sounds like a bit of a ledge btw).

I hope the good old nhs is able to offer you some valid treatment and give you genuine hope for a pain free life. Good on you for keeping those goals in your sights.

Always happy to chat if you’re bored but I’m unable to stay awake past midnight these days!!

Servavo fidem

Mr KC is an absolute gem. Not once in all the time I've been incapacitated (over 6yrs now) has he ever complained. He's been in sole charge of the house and our daughter for three weeks now and still working FT. He's been getting up even earlier, bed later. Dealing with house move stuff and a conked out boiler. All sorts. And still he doesn't complain. He might not be able to visit me so often but his energy and time is best spent keeping some normality for our daughter. She needs her daddy there with her.

So yes, my husband is the absolute best and I adore him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

I am glad to hear that you have finally got some answers. Possibly not the ones that you hoped, but at least you know.

I am also glad that you finally have a moving date and that you will eventually be reunited with your family and not confined to the upstairs.

I really hope that your situation eases xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

Ah, KC. I'm glad you're going home - I've worried about you being in there. And as you say, not long til you're in the bungalow.

Let's just hope they get their finger out & the outpatient referrals come through swiftly

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Ah, KC. I'm glad you're going home - I've worried about you being in there. And as you say, not long til you're in the bungalow.

Let's just hope they get their finger out & the outpatient referrals come through swiftly

I'm okay here, fortunately able to advocate for myself and speak up. Some people don't have that luxury and that worries me. I'd not have achieved diagnosis like I have, without complaining. To have to fight and argue whilst crippled in pain and totally reliant on staff is very difficult and as you know Red, I've encountered some unpleasant staff, as well as lovely ones.

I desperately want to be home with my family but without being able to do the stairs and unable to move without my wheelchair until the last couple of days, it's just not been possible.

I just hope that the bungalow is all we hope it will be

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ldFashionedGentMan over a year ago

Chelmsford

Hi Mrs KC

I am reading your story for the first time in astonishment at all that you’ve been through and how strong you are having gone through all of that. I do not believe for a second I’d be able to deal with it all.

Hopefully you get some positive answers soon, and maybe just maybe the outpatient referrals surprise you with a quick appointment time.

I truly hope Mr KC and yourself can get the support you need. Good luck with the move

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Ah, KC. I'm glad you're going home - I've worried about you being in there. And as you say, not long til you're in the bungalow.

Let's just hope they get their finger out & the outpatient referrals come through swiftly

I desperately want to be home with my family but without being able to do the stairs and unable to move without my wheelchair until the last couple of days, it's just not been possible.

I just hope that the bungalow is all we hope it will be

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Hurrah, we're getting one of the nice night nurses tonight. Thank sherbet for that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inkyInkedBiWoman over a year ago

"Soooooooo, as some of the lovely folk here know, I have been incarcerated in Chez NHS since 22 Jan and suffered from horrific pain and loss of mobility for a good week prior to that, which I spent living upstairs mainly on my own. Mr KC lovingly left me little packed lunches and flasks of tea but he had to go to work.

*Not going to happen

So, as I prepare for the next stage in my incarceration (returning to Upstairs), thank you everyone for the messages and for the entertainment on the forum.

Much love and affection to all,

Mrs KC "

It makes me sad to read you’re in so much pain lovely

Have they said if they can do anything to help besides pain relief?

The messages and friends comments struck a chord with me, as it’s during the worst times in your life you’ll see the true colours of those that say they care for you.

Big love xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

" It makes me sad to read you’re in so much pain lovely

Have they said if they can do anything to help besides pain relief?

The messages and friends comments struck a chord with me, as it’s during the worst times in your life you’ll see the true colours of those that say they care for you.

Big love xxx"

Other than trying to re-gain my already shit mobility from before this episode, I'm not sure of anything that can be done, no. I'm waiting for re-referral to a spinal specialist and so I'll have to wait for that.

The pain is twofold. One is stabby-stabby nerve impingement pain at the hip and thigh and the second is called allodynia, or hypersensitivity. The skin on my lower leg and foot is so hypersensitive that I can't tolerate bedsheets or a towel or anyone's touch on it. It physically hurts, burns, to have any touch on it. I'm annoyed because after my daughter's delivery, I had pretty bad allodynia and it took a good 3yrs to get under control. But it's even worse than ever right now, so getting dressed is going to be fun

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Sending you biggest kisses and massive hugs lovely lady. May your days be full of glittery cocks and other lovely distractions to get you through this awful time

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

" May your days be full of glittery cocks "

Don’t encourage her!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!"

It would cheer me up though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!"

What’s not to love about glitter and cocks? And then a glittery cock is just the icing on the cake

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!

It would cheer me up though

I’m really not happy with how it turned out. Have YOU ever tried maintaining a parping great stiffy while glitterising it?! Coz it ain’t bleedin easy!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eard and BoobsCouple over a year ago

Portstewart

You are such a good humoured person I can kind of understand the pain meds I'm on long tec myself but if you ever want to vent or gossip please just get in touch and alough it would be through a screen I'd love to keep you entertained with my bad homour

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!

It would cheer me up though

I’m really not happy with how it turned out. Have YOU ever tried maintaining a parping great stiffy while glitterising it?! Coz it ain’t bleedin easy!!

I have often tried to maintain a stiffy, but I might or might not have been the owner of said appendage

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!

It would cheer me up though

I’m really not happy with how it turned out. Have YOU ever tried maintaining a parping great stiffy while glitterising it?! Coz it ain’t bleedin easy!!

I have often tried to maintain a stiffy, but I might or might not have been the owner of said appendage

Where were you when I was trying to make this work?! Oh, right…

I may try again soon, depending on demand.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

" May your days be full of glittery cocks

Don’t encourage her!!!!

It would cheer me up though

I’m really not happy with how it turned out. Have YOU ever tried maintaining a parping great stiffy while glitterising it?! Coz it ain’t bleedin easy!!

I have often tried to maintain a stiffy, but I might or might not have been the owner of said appendage

Where were you when I was trying to make this work?! Oh, right…

I may try again soon, depending on demand."

Also, if it's bleedin', you're doing it wrong

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck KC, what an update

Gutted that the plan is for you just to endure the pain... I'm sure levels of care vary depending what postcode you are in.

Good to hear the bungalow is on the horizon tho .. It will definitely help with your mental health at least to feel part of the family again.

I always amazed at your resilience and how you seem to take the worst of news in your stride and just get on with it.i just wish you didn't have to.

I hope you your follow up wait isn't too long.. You must be eager to get back to work

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm glad you have answers, but I'm so sorry about your ordeal

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sending you virtual hugs and strength

And some W40. Just in case.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Fuck KC, what an update

Gutted that the plan is for you just to endure the pain... I'm sure levels of care vary depending what postcode you are in.

Good to hear the bungalow is on the horizon tho .. It will definitely help with your mental health at least to feel part of the family again.

I always amazed at your resilience and how you seem to take the worst of news in your stride and just get on with it.i just wish you didn't have to.

I hope you your follow up wait isn't too long.. You must be eager to get back to work

Honestly? It's really hard to keep going. There have been several occasions during this admission where I've broken down. I've seen the mental health team. It's so, so difficult to stay positive. I just have to plod on......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Sending you virtual hugs and strength

And some W40. Just in case. "

Do I apply the WD-40 vaginally, orally or anally, Dr. Bearded?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I've not been on the forums bery long but your good humour and resilience has shone through despite the crappy time you've had. So glad the bungalow move is imminent!

J xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fuck KC, what an update

Gutted that the plan is for you just to endure the pain... I'm sure levels of care vary depending what postcode you are in.

Good to hear the bungalow is on the horizon tho .. It will definitely help with your mental health at least to feel part of the family again.

I always amazed at your resilience and how you seem to take the worst of news in your stride and just get on with it.i just wish you didn't have to.

I hope you your follow up wait isn't too long.. You must be eager to get back to work

I honestly can't imagine what its like for you.. And also for your family xx My heart breaks for you, it really does. I wish i could do/say more to help

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

That term 'bed blocker' annoys me a LOT. You're not a bed blocker you're a person.

I hope you get home safely and the move goes smoothly.

What ongoing treatment will you be having?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sending you virtual hugs and strength

And some W40. Just in case.

Do I apply the WD-40 vaginally, orally or anally, Dr. Bearded?

I let you choose. I am a gentleman.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"That term 'bed blocker' annoys me a LOT. You're not a bed blocker you're a person.

I hope you get home safely and the move goes smoothly.

What ongoing treatment will you be having?"

When we've moved, new GP will have to arrange physio and OTs to assess at home but until I'm seen by the spinal team (re-referring from here as outpatient), then nothing specific will be offered from the spinal perspective. I imagine that the answer to your question is "not an awful lot".

I complained about the doc saying I was bed blocking. This same doc also tried to tell me the MRI scan was "normal for my age". Then an orthopaedic doc came along and said it most definitely was not normal, when considered along with my pattern of symptoms and went on to describe the stenosis etc. Stenosis causes claudication and that is exactly what I am experiencing in my lower leg and foot especially.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Sending you virtual hugs and strength

And some W40. Just in case.

Do I apply the WD-40 vaginally, orally or anally, Dr. Bearded?

I let you choose. I am a gentleman. "

Please can you warm it up before you insert it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *heOriginalLoisWoman over a year ago

London

Mrs KC, I seldom come on here now and have stopped posting but on seeing this had to send you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Mrs KC, I seldom come on here now and have stopped posting but on seeing this had to send you

You are a very kind lady and thank you so much for your

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

Hope the pain abates somehow to tolerable levels.

Big shout out to Mr KC as well hope he’s looking after himself he sounds like the best of dudes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sending you virtual hugs and strength

And some W40. Just in case.

Do I apply the WD-40 vaginally, orally or anally, Dr. Bearded?

I let you choose. I am a gentleman.

Please can you warm it up before you insert it?

Hell no. I am still a real man with a micro penis and I can count upto 7.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You know I don't even know what half of that means, but I'm so delighted you got an answer. I can only begin to imagine how tough it has been these past few weeks, especially missing your girls birthday.

I feel like sometimes life really throws some serious shit at people, but you always come across as so resilient and genuine. I am sure moving into this new bungalow will bring plenty of smiles and independence. I hope you are blessed with many gentle pain free days. Sending you love KC.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"That term 'bed blocker' annoys me a LOT. You're not a bed blocker you're a person.

I hope you get home safely and the move goes smoothly.

What ongoing treatment will you be having?

Ah yes, I have permanent loss of sensation in my right leg and foot due to stenosis... preferable to the pain though.

Is there a surgical option?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"That term 'bed blocker' annoys me a LOT. You're not a bed blocker you're a person.

I hope you get home safely and the move goes smoothly.

What ongoing treatment will you be having?

Ah yes, I have permanent loss of sensation in my right leg and foot due to stenosis... preferable to the pain though.

Is there a surgical option? "

I HOPE there's a surgical option but this hospital cannot venture an opinion. I join the regular outpatient waiting list for review by spinal at the regional centre and until then, I really have no idea unfortunately.

My stenosis causes really bad claudication and I also have some numbness on the sole of my foot. The hypersensitivity has reactivated though so that's more of a problem than the numbness for now.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Hope the pain abates somehow to tolerable levels.

Big shout out to Mr KC as well hope he’s looking after himself he sounds like the best of dudes. "

Mr KC IS the very best. He looked knackered when he visited at the weekend. I worry about him and feel immensely guilty for needing so much from him and for not being there to help him. He never complains though, he just soldiers on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"You know I don't even know what half of that means, but I'm so delighted you got an answer. I can only begin to imagine how tough it has been these past few weeks, especially missing your girls birthday.

My immense thanks for your kind words, Ms Lemon. One day, we will go to the Shopping Shitty and have cheap coffee and put the world to rights

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My immense thanks for your kind words, Ms Lemon. One day, we will go to the Shopping Shitty and have cheap coffee and put the world to rights

Yes. I'm actually back in Manchester for a few days in May. I *might* have some free time for a coffee. Please don't try and bum me though. I will let you know once I figure out what I'm doing. I'd really love to meet you though for a chat and hug.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

My immense thanks for your kind words, Ms Lemon. One day, we will go to the Shopping Shitty and have cheap coffee and put the world to rights

I don't think bumming is allowed in the Shopping Shitty. I believe drug use is strongly encouraged though

Let me know if it is convenient nearer the time, but I would also love to meet you, for sure!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Somehow you’ve managed to keep your sense of humour and I enjoy reading your updates and filthy fun haha.

I’m so pleased your bungalow move happened in the end, hopefully that will help you and Mr KC (he sounds like a bit of a ledge btw).

I hope the good old nhs is able to offer you some valid treatment and give you genuine hope for a pain free life. Good on you for keeping those goals in your sights.

Always happy to chat if you’re bored but I’m unable to stay awake past midnight these days!!

Servavo fidem

So yes, my husband is the absolute best and I adore him

He sounds like the sort of chap for whom I would buy a beer, and there are precious few I would say that about! Best wishes to you and yours for the future.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

^^^I think he would like a Corona with a lime in it, please. He definitely deserves one. Thank you for your kind words

I wouldn't be here today without the support and encouragement of my husband.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

Mrs KC, your experience so sadly echoes some of the things that my dad told me of his final few months in hospital care at the other end of the country. The "bed blocker" incident makes me want to go off on a ranting polemic against the government, but this is not the time or place - just take it that I am well and truly burning on your behalf.

I'm very glad to hear that the bungalow is finally happening and hope that this at least gives some logistic help with home life. Please add me to your list of folk who are often awake at unearthly hours, if you find yourself staring at the ceiling during the small hours and you can't find anyone else online to help pass the time, try dropping me a message. Whether you want to discuss the latest scientific advancements, exchange curses about government ministers, chat about dogging (always take your DoggingBlanket™), or speculate about if it is indeed just piss, if I'm conscious I'll be very happy to waste time with you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"That term 'bed blocker' annoys me a LOT. You're not a bed blocker you're a person.

I hope you get home safely and the move goes smoothly.

What ongoing treatment will you be having?

Ah yes, I have permanent loss of sensation in my right leg and foot due to stenosis... preferable to the pain though.

Is there a surgical option?

My stenosis causes really bad claudication and I also have some numbness on the sole of my foot. The hypersensitivity has reactivated though so that's more of a problem than the numbness for now."

I'm genuinely sorry,

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stay strong OP, good days will come.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unsexual MemelordWoman over a year ago

Midlothian

I don't know you, but I'm heart sorry for you, what an ordeal. Your strength and resilience is immense. I sincerely hope you can return to some normality of your life once you're in a home without the obstacle of stairs, and that they find an effective pain management for you. As someone who has chronic pain yet is very resistent to pain relief, I know what a bitch it is, I truly sympathise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I only admire and feel for you. I doubt I'd be as positively managing, in the same situation. Hoping your move next week goes to plan.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *.L.0460.Woman over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Oh my God, what a horrendous time you've had

Your husband sounds like a wonderful man & your daughter has 2 very strong parents.

I hope your move goes smoothly & I'm sending you a big hug xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

I'm off to use the solitary "accessible" loo and clean my teeth. Then I'll spend eleventy thousand minutes trying to find a comfortable way for my bad leg to sleep. The pain from the touch of bed covers etc is off the scale

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's sounds awful, I really feel for you, I hope you can be somewhat comfortable and a little happier and less in pain soon

Miss S x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/02/23 09:38:26]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

I wonder if you can make a frame at home that sits up a foot or so above your legs.. So the quilt can't touch you-like a tent type arrangement ? You might have to get creative with turning the quilt around maybe and then have something on your top half. I have no idea how practical this is, but it might help a little for a few nights maybe

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

Thank you! When it was like this back in 2017, I just stuck my leg out of the bed and laid it on top.

The wonderful news today is that our daughter started with a vomiting bug overnight and Mr KC is worried he will also catch it. If he gets it, I'll be a bit snookered because I'll be relying on him to bring food and drink AND I don't want to catch it either. I've told the docs here but doubt it will stop them getting rid of me.

When will we catch a break?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief"

Yay, thank you! I will take a look

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

Thank you! When it was like this back in 2017, I just stuck my leg out of the bed and laid it on top.

When will we catch a break?! "

For gods sake!

Can you speak to someone on the physio team or social care, they might be able to delay your discharge.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief

Yay, thank you! I will take a look

Blanket raiser made me snort with laughter

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

Thank you! When it was like this back in 2017, I just stuck my leg out of the bed and laid it on top.

When will we catch a break?!

For gods sake!

Can you speak to someone on the physio team or social care, they might be able to delay your discharge.

I spoke with my nurse this morning. I'll tell the physios when they turn up to torture me. I certainly wouldn't make it to the bathroom to puke! And I really don't want a sick Mr KC making food, bringing it and infecting me. I don't want him to get sick either but seeing as he's been mopping up from our daughter overnight since midnight, it's probably inevitable. And it means she won't be able to go to her best friend's birthday party too. Why is life so fucking shit?! She was really looking forward to it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

Zimmer frame and hacksaw? Think that might work as a support frame for you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief"

I’m sure I’ve seen these in hospital beds anyway? I’m assuming for the likes of burns victims or post-op folk who can’t have things touching their dressings. Don’t mean to patronise KC, but have you enquired of the staff there?

Sending you big hugs and good thoughts to get you through today

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ong-leggedblondWoman over a year ago

Next Door

Mrs KC, what horrendous situation you're in. Sending you, your wonderful hubby and daughter big hugs.

I hope things improve today for you all and continues to get better.

Message if you ever want a rant in private.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief

Sending you big hugs and good thoughts to get you through today

I've not asked for any such aids here, no. I've just put up with it or stuck my leg out. At home, I might get one. I'm supposed to be taken home by ambulance today but they're on strike (although they made the booking in that knowledge yesterday), so hopefully no need to worry about the hospital sleeping arrangements anymore.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh found it - it's called a Bed Cradle - Blanket Raiser - Duvet Tunnel - Pressure Care Aids - Bedroom Aid - Pressure Relief

Sending you big hugs and good thoughts to get you through today

Bloody hell, don't put up with it.. Ask woman!! Demand!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Oh my goodness!!! I can somewhat relate, having dodgy discs myself and pain that won't just fuck off ... But that sounds horrendous!

I am always about if you need a chat or just cute photos of cats to brighten your day

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I hope you can get someone from social care to bat for your side. As you need all of your strength to recover, let alone argue with the hospital who want you out before you are due. These disability shops can be expensive, so don't be shy about asking anyone here if they have an old one that's going spare.

Your other half is a life saver: well done him!

All the best.

...My other half says has messaged you already and I know how much having a trusted chauffeur,, bag carrier, wheelchair pusher and sexy butler

can be in making life a lot more bearable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Try adult social care, or whatever it may be called, for and aids or assistance you need in the home x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I hope you can get someone from social care to bat for your side. As you need all of your strength to recover, let alone argue with the hospital who want you out before you are due. These disability shops can be expensive, so don't be shy about asking anyone here if they have an old one that's going spare.

Your other half is a life saver: well done him!

All the best.

...My other half says has messaged you already and I know how much having a trusted chauffeur,, bag carrier, wheelchair pusher and sexy butler

can be in making life a lot more bearable."

The only downside is Mr KC can't drive. I am the only driver and so that does present some challenges. He thinks he's going to try driving lessons again and see if he can get an auto licence...... I don't want him to do something he feels really uncomfortable about, though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *affeine DuskMan over a year ago

Caerphilly

That's a really moving and humbling read.

I hope things get easier or more comfortable, in whatever form that takes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Try adult social care, or whatever it may be called, for and aids or assistance you need in the home x"

We move into a different local authority in a week's time so will be phoning them that same day to get them out for an assessment ASAP. The physios here will also tell them of my existence, apparently.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"As I prepare to bed down for what I hope is the final night here, I want to say thank you again, for all the lovely comments and messages. They really do help one keep their pecker up.

Thank you! When it was like this back in 2017, I just stuck my leg out of the bed and laid it on top.

When will we catch a break?!

For gods sake!

Can you speak to someone on the physio team or social care, they might be able to delay your discharge.

I don't know why life is so fucking shit for some people and I won't patronise you with look on the bright side-isms.

I really hope things turn around for your family and particularly you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I'm writing this here because I have no other way of externalising my rant!

Things I don't understand...

1) During my stay, I have been subjected 3x a day to invasive and personal inspections of my groin, bottom, under breasts and various other places, by HCAs and other staff. This is allegedly because I am high risk of bed sores. They've also had me on a kind of inflatable mattress, which has actually been quite uncomfortable because it sags and makes bed to wheelchair transfers hard and painful. Yet, they have not assessed my bed at home. No consideration has been made of the fact I will have to spend MORE time in/on bed at home, because I won't have my wheelchair up there to transfer to. So, why the insistence on inspecting my groin by candlelight at midnight?!

2) Heparin injections.

I've been injecting heparin into my tummy daily since arrival, to combat the risk of DVT. I look like I've been beaten up by a boxer. However, no-one has mentioned continuing with these at home. I used them at home when I was bed bound in the pregnancy.

3) Going home to plague-ville

They still wish to send me home, despite norovirus or similar at home. The rationale for insisting on sending me home from an otherwise empty 4 bed bay? I am at risk of hospital acquired infection etc. Hilarious

4) My ability to walk

I have been making slow and painful progress with 2 physios, managing to achieve the longest distance of from 1 side of the bed to the other; rest; return to start. It's not far. It's on shiny linoleum so I can easily pivot on my good foot. At home, there's carpet, a narrow gap at the end of the bed (so much so that they provided an extra narrow walking frame) and nowhere to rest halfway. I don't feel like I am able to make it the distance (with turns) to my bathroom from my bed, but physios insist I am okay to do it.

Here endeth the rant

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The issue is likely that the management and funding are compartmentalised.

As is the liability from any hospital acquired condition or infection.

They want you off their list for both these things.

In NI I believe a patient cannot be discharged unless a care package is fully in place. That would include the facilities like bed and access. As well as daily care if assistance is required for health or hygiene, etc.

Not sure how things work elsewhere.

Basically the flaw in our system of 'not our job/problem/responsibility ' is kicking in where they are more concerned with the budget and the admin, passing the buck, than the longterm care given.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Yeah, I understand that they don't want me to catch something here, but they're sending me home right into the thick of pukes-ville

This is a women's health ward. It's mainly gynae post-surgery, gynae illness and early pregnancy stuff. It's a fairly low risk environment, as hospitals go.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Other bizarre things to rant about!

"Protected mealtimes"

Staff zealously prevent visitors coming during mealtimes, but every single evening, the medicine round has taken place during the evening meal and I've been asked to do my heparin injection then. I have to put down my fork to jab myself. Ward rounds in the morning happen during breakfast and the physios have come just as lunch has been served, multiple times. What a mockery of "protected mealtimes"!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rtyIanMan over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Wishing you all the best going forward and with the move young lady x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

The physios have just been to torture me again. I'm sat sitting waiting for the ambulance, which could be any time from now till bedtime. Drinking tea and randomly scrolling through my phone, as I sit alone in my bay.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Away for Christmas

"Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

Next time any physios come to visit you, tell them they would make a fortune in the kink services world!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

Next time any physios come to visit you, tell them they would make a fortune in the kink services world! "

They're coming to my house next and we don't even accommodate! No-one reads the profile!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Away for Christmas

"Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

Next time any physios come to visit you, tell them they would make a fortune in the kink services world!

They're coming to my house next and we don't even accommodate! No-one reads the profile! "

A car meet? They might be classy like that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Ah, KC. The nightmare continues...

I can only hope that the mental plus of being out of that goddamn place will bolster you more than all the negatives.

Next time any physios come to visit you, tell them they would make a fortune in the kink services world!

They're coming to my house next and we don't even accommodate! No-one reads the profile!

A car meet? They might be classy like that"

I'll have to borrow Polly's DoggingBlanket™ to keep me warm

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I am now at home. Two men from the private service actually carried me up all the stairs in the house in a way that seemed very bad for their backs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I am now at home. Two men from the private service actually carried me up all the stairs in the house in a way that seemed very bad for their backs

And the bungalow countdown begins, keep safe Mrs KC and hopefully the

germs won't come xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I am now at home. Two men from the private service actually carried me up all the stairs in the house in a way that seemed very bad for their backs

And the bungalow countdown begins, keep safe Mrs KC and hopefully the

germs won't come xxx"

It's really quite uncomfortable sitting on our bed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"I am now at home. Two men from the private service actually carried me up all the stairs in the house in a way that seemed very bad for their backs

And the bungalow countdown begins, keep safe Mrs KC and hopefully the

germs won't come xxx

It's really quite uncomfortable sitting on our bed

Ah, no!

Get some painkillers inside you. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh gosh.. Are you settled with drugs in reach?

Is hubby vomming yet?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

Mind telling us the hospital so I can avoid it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Oh gosh.. Are you settled with drugs in reach?

Is hubby vomming yet? "

He's not yet puked. He's obviously fucking knackered though because she was sick about every half an hour from midnight to 06:30.

I've taken some of my liquid meds yeah. The pills are due at 20:30 ish. I'm Googling all sorts of special gizmos to make bed sitting comfier. We got rid of the big sausage pillow I had when I was pregnant because it was gathering dust, but have just ordered a new one!! I'm looking at those frames to keep the covers off my leg too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I just bought one of the frames to keep the bedcovers off my leg. Hospital bed clothes are a thin sheet and light blanket. The duvet at home is much heavier and it's even worse. I can't get comfy at all!!! Currently have bad leg stuck out on top of the covers, so my arse is also hanging out and just a small triangle of bedding over my hips. I've had to resort to putting a nightie on for warmth and I ALWAYS sleep in the nude

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh heck, i hate sleeping with my arse hanging out of the bed.. Hope a bear doesn't sniff it whilst you are asleep

Excited for the duvet lifter!! Hope it helps x

How are you going to get downstairs when you move.. What about a rescue chair that offices use for fire/rescue ... Omg or what about getting actual firemen round

i think i might be free that day, I'll make them some tea and rub them down with oil

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

I've been in the work bunker for a few weeks, OP, and am only just now gingerly emerging, so have only just read this. It is wonderful to think that in the middle of your godawful chronic pain - I have some idea of how cruel and debilitating that can be - you found the emotional strength and space to think of others and to thank people. And it's beautiful to think of Fab people giving you concrete, real-world emotional support,sometimes in a way friends of much-longer standing seem reluctant,or unable, to do. What a tribute to the love in our community. I, too, have experienced this, and it makes me want to cry happy tears sometimes.

I am so sorry for every pain, physical and otherwise, you have undergone, and for those still waiting round the corner,as Wodehouse says of Fate,with the sock full of wet cement. May the stairs smooth for your descent, and your bones be kind, when you move into your new and, I hope, happy home.

You two are amazing and inspiring. I hope you know that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

^^^Thanks folks.

Midnight - getting down the stairs on moving day? Honestly not sure. I'm assuming that the combined might of my brother (a sturdy chap), Mr KC and my son will be able to drag me down somehow. Maybe between the three of them, they can get me down in my wheelchair or they could put the mattress down the stairs and I'll slide down. Alas, being manhandled by a lovely firefighter would hurt a LOT so it's not on my to-do list.

I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling already. I had a little cry on Mr KC this morning because of the sheer pain involved in getting off the bed and to the loo with my frame. It's excruciating. I honestly just want to give up. But I can't give up. It's really hard to stay positive and motivated. What the fuck is the point?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wonder if an epidural type injection would help? An associate i know has injections several times a year to help with spine issues and pains.. The pain doesn't completely go away but she can function and she has some mobility.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I wonder if an epidural type injection would help? An associate i know has injections several times a year to help with spine issues and pains.. The pain doesn't completely go away but she can function and she has some mobility. "

I've tried these before. I think they work really well when there's just one lumbar level causing the pain. My problem is at multiple levels and so that's probably why the nerve root block injections didn't work. I have to get a consultation with the spinal docs before being able to access such things anyway and I've just been referred back. My referral is normal urgency so I'm joining a long waiting list. NHS website says currently, average wait from referral is....

......51 weeks.

A year

One year before I can consult with a specialist.

I won't be able to access anything other than physio and pain meds in that time.

A fucking year

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

......51 weeks.

A year

One year before I can consult with a specialist.

I won't be able to access anything other than physio and pain meds in that time.

A fucking year

A year in a developed country. It's terrible

Is there any chance that this is an episode that will abate?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

......51 weeks.

A year

One year before I can consult with a specialist.

I won't be able to access anything other than physio and pain meds in that time.

A fucking year

A year in a developed country. It's terrible

Is there any chance that this is an episode that will abate? "

There's a chance, yes and I hope it does. I've just seen that the wait at a different regional spinal centre is 31wks and we're moving closer to that, so I think when we change GP, I'll ask them to refer me there instead. Only 7-8 months or so

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

Hi op. Really sorry that I wasn’t aware of this earlier but I’ve been online very little lately.

So sorry to hear you’re having such a shit time with your health - and hope the bungalow move - although unwelcome at the moment - proves to be a new lease of life for you - giving you far more time together with your lovely family. Xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Sensitive topic/question here Mrs KC, but could going private be an option? I absolutely don’t expect you to answer publicly, but just wanted to put it out there.

I did for my snip and will be for an autism assessment, but I’m conscious they are drops in the ocean compared to the myriad of diagnostic and operative procedures you would face.

Clearly it would be costly, but probably a damn sight quicker.

Anyway, as I said just a thought.

I sincerely hope your current situation is a blip (albeit a monumental one) in terms of pain and despair. If you’re feeling like it can’t get much worse then that means it can definitely get better.

Your wonderful daughter will be well again very soon and the heroic Mr KC will have his energy back. You’ll be in your bungalow and can cause havoc in your wheeled chariot. Plus you’ve got us filthy perverts to amuse! What a dubious honour!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I can afford private consultation and can ask for the NHS scans to be sent, but we can't afford any sort of private spinal surgery so it seems pointless to see a consultant. Nerve root injections didn't work in the past, although I might be able to use my Grandad's money for one of those. Not keen though, if we think it might not work again

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"^^^Thanks folks.

You won't give up, because you are a fighter and yes there are blips and there will be more to get through. But you are on a countdown to the big move which will be life changing for you all. The amount of steel grit and determination and emotional resilience you have is inspirational to us all. Keep going xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *.L.0460.Woman over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"I can afford private consultation and can ask for the NHS scans to be sent, but we can't afford any sort of private spinal surgery so it seems pointless to see a consultant. Nerve root injections didn't work in the past, although I might be able to use my Grandad's money for one of those. Not keen though, if we think it might not work again

When I had cosmetic surgery in Poland, I met patients who were there for spinal surgery who I crossed paths with in the hotel. Maybe there could be a specialist a bit further afield who would be more affordable xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I was looking at options in Lithuania actually. I was reading about there being very high standards there and good outcomes. I suppose I just worry about the aftercare and stuff. I will do some research.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*Not going to happen

So, as I prepare for the next stage in my incarceration (returning to Upstairs), thank you everyone for the messages and for the entertainment on the forum.

Much love and affection to all,

Mrs KC "

I'm so sorry your going through this. To talk about it like you have You sound extremely strong and brave lady x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am really sorry that you’re struggling so much

Going private is a choice that you might not have to find yourself though. There is such thing as ‘right to choose’, I am not quite sure how this would work in your case but in my experience, I shortened my waiting for an ADHD assessment from 2 years to 4 months using this and asking to be referred to a private provider. I am pretty sure the same could be applied to your case and finding a private provider that will accept ‘right to choose’ referrals. I hope this helps

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I can only find Right To Choose referrals around ADHD, autism and mental health treatment/diagnosis. I can't find it around other things. There's the right to choose the clinic but there aren't many options for neurosurgery/spinal surgery. Only two hospitals in the north west......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?"

We're getting the removal firm to pack. Between now and Thursday, we're going through all the cupboards and drawers and garage and chucking/recycling what we don't need. We had a family friend here earlier to help with the garage. I'm coordinating from my bed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

The timing is actually weirdly good. If we weren't moving so soon, I'd be stuck upstairs indefinitely, relying on others to bring food/drink and in agony each time I need to hop to the loo. As it is, by next week, I shall be able to go to the loo by wheelchair.

A man from the hospital discharge team came just before to "see I'd been discharged to a place of safety". He said the commode had to be against a wall (impossible in here) but it's no good anyway. He then announced all the questions were irrelevant because we're moving out and politely excused himself. There was no checking if I was actually safe or able to make it to the bathroom. He didn't ask how I was receiving food and drink, he simply noted my son was around (because he answered the door).

Excellent!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

Excellent!"

Can you report him? Box ticking is such bullshit.

You also have something else to concentrate on, hope that takes the edge off the pain a little bit. I understand it probably doesn't. X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Ohhhhhh... Hmmm....fix one thing and another one goes wrong! Can it go the other way - instead of across, can it go 'up' from the end of the bed??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Ohhhhhh... Hmmm....fix one thing and another one goes wrong! Can it go the other way - instead of across, can it go 'up' from the end of the bed?? "

No. If it was turned around, I'd not be able to slide my leg inside the frame. The only way to use it is width-ways. We'll have a see later as to whether it encroaches too much. He might just have to cope for now......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

Excellent!"

Ah yes the 'crisis team'. That would be the same people who discharged my doubly incontinent, unable to move mother with a fractured vertebra into the care of a 90 year old.

I wish these things were more widely known.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

Excellent!

Ah yes the 'crisis team'. That would be the same people who discharged my doubly incontinent, unable to move mother with a fractured vertebra into the care of a 90 year old.

I wish these things were more widely known. "

Sounds safe as houses

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"My bed cover frame arrived!! It's excellent for getting the covers off me. It might take over the bed a bit much though, Mr KC might find himself clinging on at the edge

Hooray!

How's the packing for the move going?

This is brilliant! It might seem like terrible timing but even though it will be difficult it will be so worth it to be on one level. Something very soon to look forward to.

Excellent!

Ah yes the 'crisis team'. That would be the same people who discharged my doubly incontinent, unable to move mother with a fractured vertebra into the care of a 90 year old.

I wish these things were more widely known.

Sounds safe as houses

Yeah. She ended up on the floor with two sofa cushions underneath her for three nights until we got her into a care home for six weeks. The way vulnerable people are treated is shocking but I don't need to tell you that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

I know how hard I'm finding things - I have no idea how very frail/elderly people or people who have absolutely no help or support cope. Social care services are pretty much non existent

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I know how hard I'm finding things - I have no idea how very frail/elderly people or people who have absolutely no help or support cope. Social care services are pretty much non existent

They're either still in hospital, or at home with carers, or at home on their own trying to cope

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh my goodness Mrs KC, I've just seen this. Had no idea. I'm so sorry. It's a bag of shit with a shit chaser. You, however, are bloody awesome. Even if you don't believe that yourself right now. Fingers crossed for the move.

Mrs TMN x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *enrietteandSamCouple over a year ago

Staffordshire

the kc’s.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Good luck with the move.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X"

Mr KC is carrying out a monumental spring clean over the course of this week. He did the garage and outside yesterday. He's done our daughter's room and the loft so far today and I think some of the kitchen. We're taking everything that doesn't end up in the skip or a charity bag.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X

Is Mr KC Knackered but finding it almost therapeutic? Is he hinting at a hand job for his hard work lol I wish you well in your move xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X

Is Mr KC Knackered but finding it almost therapeutic? Is he hinting at a hand job for his hard work lol I wish you well in your move xx"

He's knackered to the point I'm worried about him. He won't hear anything about my concerns though. He's enjoying getting rid of crap we don't need yes, it's 15yrs of accumulated stuff.

He's not made a solitary sexual suggestion no. He's left me to sleep for much of today because I've felt really shitty and cold. He's been dispensing tea and hugs as required though......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/02/23 18:57:48]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So sorry to read this, you are being treated in a terrible way. I hope things improve, especially when you've moved to the bungalow, hopefully the NHS works better there ... we can wish for that xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X

Is Mr KC Knackered but finding it almost therapeutic? Is he hinting at a hand job for his hard work lol I wish you well in your move xx

He's knackered to the point I'm worried about him. He won't hear anything about my concerns though. He's enjoying getting rid of crap we don't need yes, it's 15yrs of accumulated stuff.

He's not made a solitary sexual suggestion no. He's left me to sleep for much of today because I've felt really shitty and cold. He's been dispensing tea and hugs as required though......"

So basically he's superman

(there's no emoji for that lol)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"Just out of interest OP, when you move are you having a kind of spring clean? Is everything going with you or are you having one of them 'never used it why did we buy this!' sort outs? X

Is Mr KC Knackered but finding it almost therapeutic? Is he hinting at a hand job for his hard work lol I wish you well in your move xx

He's knackered to the point I'm worried about him. He won't hear anything about my concerns though. He's enjoying getting rid of crap we don't need yes, it's 15yrs of accumulated stuff.

He's not made a solitary sexual suggestion no. He's left me to sleep for much of today because I've felt really shitty and cold. He's been dispensing tea and hugs as required though......

So basically he's superman

(there's no emoji for that lol)"

If more men were like him, the world would be a better place. Honestly. He's amazing.

I feel so so shitty today

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

"The issue is likely that the management and funding are compartmentalised.

As is the liability from any hospital acquired condition or infection.

They want you off their list for both these things.

Not sure how things work elsewhere.

Basically the flaw in our system of 'not our job/problem/responsibility ' is kicking in where they are more concerned with the budget and the admin, passing the buck, than the longterm care given."

The answer to this is that the England situation is totally fucked. Last year my 90 year old father, who could not walk more than ten paces even with a zimmer, was forcibly discharged from a hospital in Cornwall back to his home when all authorities were in the full knowledge that:

- There was nobody at home. I live 300 miles away, and the couple he was sharing the house with were in Greece!

- He didn't have a key to the door and the house was locked up. They actually sent a locksmith with him to break the door open, dump him inside, and fit a new lock.

- There was zero care arrangements in place. The local care authority had phoned me and under pressure admitted that they knew he was being sent home, that they had no care visitors available, and that they did not even have a timetable for when visits might be arranged.

- They were in full knowledge that he would be totally unable to procure any food once whatever supplies were in the house ran out. He was totally computer illiterate, unable to even operate a mobile phone.

- If he had a fall while unaccompanied, it would likely be fatal. He did have an emergency call beeper on a string around his neck, but on the previous occasion where he had to use it (a couple of months earlier, leading to this current stay in hospital) it had taken 36 hours for an ambulance to arrive, with several 999 calls being denied as "you are not an emergency".

Ultimately I managed to get a personal friend of mine (from fab in fact) who lived not too distant from him, to look in on him and ensure he was at least safe for the several days before his housemates returned from Greece. There was still no local authority care package in place, and in fact nothing was ever put in place before several weeks later my father returned to hospital for the final time.

He remained in hospital until the cause of his illness finally being diagnosed as terminal cancer, then he had to remain in a bed in a shared general ward for several weeks longer until a hospice place became available. During these weeks he was treated as being a bed blocker and repeatedly told they could do nothing to help him. This included not even helping him get to the toilet.

When he was finally moved to a hospice, he had to be put onto strong pain control medication such that he had little consciousness or understanding of where he was. He died two weeks later.

The entire situation was supposedly illegal, but the system is organised such that there is no clear chain of responsibility and nobody that can be personally prosecuted. Not even government ministers as they split the departments such that health can always blame care and vice versa.

#governmentmurderers.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

......51 weeks.

A year

One year before I can consult with a specialist.

I won't be able to access anything other than physio and pain meds in that time.

A fucking year

A year in a developed country. It's terrible

Is there any chance that this is an episode that will abate? "

England is no longer a developed country. It is now on a par with many third world countries - everything available for the rich and powerful few, crumbs for everyone else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

Oh Mrs KC

Sorry to read you're going through so much! Lots of love from both of us

LvM & K

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

......51 weeks.

A year

One year before I can consult with a specialist.

I won't be able to access anything other than physio and pain meds in that time.

A fucking year

A year in a developed country. It's terrible

Is there any chance that this is an episode that will abate?

England is no longer a developed country. It is now on a par with many third world countries - everything available for the rich and powerful few, crumbs for everyone else."

We're nowhere near on a par with a third world country.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ildbillkidMan over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Mrs.kc, I'm sorry and hope your better, didn't know till this p.m.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"...England is no longer a developed country. It is now on a par with many third world countries..."

"We're nowhere near on a par with a third world country. "

•

Yes we are: check out Tasmania (sic).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oubleswing2019Man over a year ago

Colchester

Hoping the house move goes well, and sorry to hear of your extended stay in Hospital. I hope they can sort something out for you, if only to alleviate the constant pain and get you on to a more managed and stable pain-management pathway. If new options present themselves long term for relief, I hope these are made available to you as well.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Thank you, all. It's proving pretty stressful to be incapacitated, feeling like shit, trying to do everything (Mr KC) and moving house at a week's notice. VERY stressful

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move? "

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

You both deserve superman badges. Good luck for today. In 12 hours hopefully you'll both be sat having a cuppa looking at everything, but hold hands and think we fucking did it!!! X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

You both deserve superman badges. Good luck for today. In 12 hours hopefully you'll both be sat having a cuppa looking at everything, but hold hands and think we fucking did it!!! X"

We jolly well hope so! Thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

Out by 12? Good luck and I wish you speedy removal people and a big enough lorry. Our company send one that was too small

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

Good luck, I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rtyIanMan over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

All the best for today xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

Out by 12? Good luck and I wish you speedy removal people and a big enough lorry. Our company send one that was too small

Most of the stuff got packed and moved out yesterday. The lorry is so big that I'm nervous about it fitting down the road of the new place! We're not sure of exact exit time, awaiting a phone call.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *urvy ClarissaWoman over a year ago

wigan

You have my upmost sympathy! I’ve had long spells laid up in bed with a prolapsed disc. I was immobile for months due to horrific pain at 22 but did have surgery to rectify that one. It’s plagued me again on and off since but It does always eventually improve, despite me thinking it never will, so don’t write yourself off!

You’ll get there! X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm confused with the days.. Is it next week that you move?

Nope, it's today!!!!! All systems are go......

Out by 12? Good luck and I wish you speedy removal people and a big enough lorry. Our company send one that was too small

Most of the stuff got packed and moved out yesterday. The lorry is so big that I'm nervous about it fitting down the road of the new place! We're not sure of exact exit time, awaiting a phone call. "

We've always had a midday deadline. Last move the money was over by 10:30 on both sides and our purchasers kept harrassing the agent for the keys which added to the stress of the too small van and me finding a six foot long fitted wardrobe full of clothes we'd forgotten to pack at 11:45

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

Solicitor has confirmed funds are moving, so it's all happening. Currently have 3 men in my room

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Solicitor has confirmed funds are moving, so it's all happening. Currently have 3 men in my room

Shame that you are not feeling up for it!

Hope that the move goes smoothly and you settle in to your new home quickly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Solicitor has confirmed funds are moving, so it's all happening. Currently have 3 men in my room

Whoop! It's been a long road. Here's to your next chapter xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

"Solicitor has confirmed funds are moving, so it's all happening. Currently have 3 men in my room

Excellent! Thinking of you and wishing all the best. Hope that you know where you packed the tea bags and mugs. Xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

We can collect our keys!!!! Huzzah!

We're nearly ready to go

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"We can collect our keys!!!! Huzzah!

We're nearly ready to go

Congratulations!! Hope the move goes well x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"We can collect our keys!!!! Huzzah!

We're nearly ready to go

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

Public Service Announcement:

The next organised Fab Social will be held at Chez KC², summer ball, house warming party, in the Orangery, surrounded by the topiary hedges, lily pond, a menagerie of sorts and a rose-gilded aviary of songbirds.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *Jones1983Man over a year ago

Liverpool

"Public Service Announcement:

Will the hot tub be set up too?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"Public Service Announcement:

Thanks, Nero. Assuming dress code is Black Tie?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple over a year ago

North West

We're in! We did it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Public Service Announcement:

Will there be pampas grass out the front, or just the usual shopping trolley in the drive with an upside down pineapple in it to help us know which house to enter?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We're in! We did it

Congratulations - now get some rest.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We're in! We did it

You know what you should do you should have fellow forumites come round and do all the unpacking whilst you and superman just sit with ya feel up and point "that goes there"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)