FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is Snobbish To Call Yourself Saposexual?
Is Snobbish To Call Yourself Saposexual?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Basically, what it says in the title.
A quick definition, saposexual is 'A behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use'
I've seen it suggested its snobbish to consider one, but I'm not sure. I think it's definitely pretentious, but that's not the same thing.
I don't think there's anything innately discriminatory (which snobbishness is) about valuing, prioritising and seeking out intelligence in sexual partners.
Thoughts?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Um.
Generally if I see someone say it, I think they're a wanker.
Same as people who say they're nice or genuine or whatever.
Nothing wrong with being the thing, it's the broadcasting that makes them look like wankers to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nothing wrong with being the thing, it's the broadcasting that makes them look like wankers to me."
I think I agree with this; its a very clumsy way of telling people what you think of yourself.
So here's a question: is there a better way of saying, 'I think I'm intelligent and I'm looking for intelligent people', without being so blunt?
Also, for the record, I've never referred to myself as saposexual. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically, what it says in the title.
A quick definition, saposexual is 'A behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use'
I've seen it suggested its snobbish to consider one, but I'm not sure. I think it's definitely pretentious, but that's not the same thing.
I don't think there's anything innately discriminatory (which snobbishness is) about valuing, prioritising and seeking out intelligence in sexual partners.
Thoughts?
"
I take it you mean Sapiosexual? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not really. If being a sapiosexual in some way implied that you were more intelligent than anyone else, that you were proud of being more intelligent or that if you weren’t as intelligent then you’re somehow not as “good” then maybe, but my understanding of it is that it does mean this, just that you are attracted to people of a relatively high intelligence.
Like I might not think I am attractive or petty but I can be attracted to those that I think are.
I don’t see myself as above average in the intelligence stakes but I can be attracted to those who are.
Is that snobby ?
Oh well just my weird ramblings again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nothing wrong with being the thing, it's the broadcasting that makes them look like wankers to me.
I think I agree with this; its a very clumsy way of telling people what you think of yourself.
So here's a question: is there a better way of saying, 'I think I'm intelligent and I'm looking for intelligent people', without being so blunt?
Also, for the record, I've never referred to myself as saposexual. "
Uh.
I think it's as on par a statement as I think I'm attractive and I'm only looking for attractive people.
Mostly I just make it pretty clear who I am and if someone asks why I'm not interested try to stick to just not feeling any compatibility as the reason as opposed to making it feel like I'm ripping apart their intelligence / wit / appearance / whatever. I might not get someone's humour, I might have different areas of intelligence as priorities, but that doesn't mean the other person is bad or wrong, just not compatible with me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not really. If being a sapiosexual in some way implied that you were more intelligent than anyone else, that you were proud of being more intelligent or that if you weren’t as intelligent then you’re somehow not as “good” then maybe, but my understanding of it is that it does mean this, just that you are attracted to people of a relatively high intelligence.
Like I might not think I am attractive or petty but I can be attracted to those that I think are.
I don’t see myself as above average in the intelligence stakes but I can be attracted to those who are.
Is that snobby ?
Oh well just my weird ramblings again "
Exactly! it's possible to be attracted to someone or something you are not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not really. If being a sapiosexual in some way implied that you were more intelligent than anyone else, that you were proud of being more intelligent or that if you weren’t as intelligent then you’re somehow not as “good” then maybe, but my understanding of it is that it does mean this, just that you are attracted to people of a relatively high intelligence.
Like I might not think I am attractive or petty but I can be attracted to those that I think are.
I don’t see myself as above average in the intelligence stakes but I can be attracted to those who are.
Is that snobby ?
Oh well just my weird ramblings again
Exactly! it's possible to be attracted to someone or something you are not. "
And added to that, it’s just one of the things that can attract me to someone , not the only thing or that it’s a “must have” quality. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Basically, what it says in the title.
A quick definition, saposexual is 'A behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use'
I've seen it suggested its snobbish to consider one, but I'm not sure. I think it's definitely pretentious, but that's not the same thing.
I don't think there's anything innately discriminatory (which snobbishness is) about valuing, prioritising and seeking out intelligence in sexual partners.
Thoughts?
"
are you a sapiosexual Op? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find all 'preferences' snobby. It's just a wet hole or a drippy pole. Why does the rest of the meat body need to be attractive?
Tick the box and fuck it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?"
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'"
Someone doesn't have to be intelligent to find intelligence attractive.
I don't really like the term for a few reasons, disagree with its application by a fair few posters on here but... I don't think it's pretentious. Not true sometimes? Yes, definitely. Meh, it's just a label and if someone thinks they are that, I don't have too much energy to give it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just like any other label or preference. It’s just a way of attracting people who would suit their criteria and be an ideal meet for them.
I’ve never looked up the term sapiofile other than what’s on this post, but it sounds like they want more than just a bit of hide the sausage. They will most likely want to play sexual mind games if you will.
But I’m no expert, that’s just my two p’s worth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'"
Why is it seen as pretentious? We raise others with low self esteem up. Yet when someone expresses their self assurance and high esteem we think it's a negative |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'
Why is it seen as pretentious? We raise others with low self esteem up. Yet when someone expresses their self assurance and high esteem we think it's a negative"
 How dare they like themselves! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose."
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?"
If you’re thick and want someone on the same wavelength. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'
Why is it seen as pretentious? We raise others with low self esteem up. Yet when someone expresses their self assurance and high esteem we think it's a negative
How dare they like themselves!"
Because we’ve all got to be self deprecating obviously |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'
Someone doesn't have to be intelligent to find intelligence attractive.
I don't really like the term for a few reasons, disagree with its application by a fair few posters on here but... I don't think it's pretentious. Not true sometimes? Yes, definitely. Meh, it's just a label and if someone thinks they are that, I don't have too much energy to give it. "
What she said! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"What if you’re intelligent, professional and genuine are you spurned forever?"
Yep. You've got no chance. The only way you could be spurned harder would be if you were attractive with an actual personality. Those two things can never co-exist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'
Why is it seen as pretentious? We raise others with low self esteem up. Yet when someone expresses their self assurance and high esteem we think it's a negative
How dare they like themselves!"
Those self assured sapiosexual heckers hey, running around telling everyone how intelligent they are!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?"
Possibly they themselves are, to quote, ‘thick as mince’ and find interacting with people of ,supposedly, higher intelligence, intimidating.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?
If you’re thick and want someone on the same wavelength."
Thick is definitely discriminatory and segregationist |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've never used the term to describe myself (gaps in my education caused by my parents' lifestyle have put pay to that idea long ago and I've been on the catch up ever since...)
or actively looked for somebody to meet who does, either...
but I have to admit I do find people with more than a few brain cells more interesting than those who struggle to string a sentance together.
Is there a name for somebody in the middle between brilliant and daft then? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?
If you’re thick and want someone on the same wavelength.
Thick is definitely discriminatory and segregationist "
I see a tongue in cheek comment on here still has the desired effect  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince? "
See, this is how intelligent I am, when I originally read this, I thought it meant 'thick' as in 'large', and thought to myself, 'what an odd comment'
Tell that what you will |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am definitely attracted to intelligent articulate and confident women.
But sumptuous breasts are also a a factor in the the elixir of attraction.......... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?
If you’re thick and want someone on the same wavelength.
Thick is definitely discriminatory and segregationist
I see a tongue in cheek comment on here still has the desired effect "
It does indeed! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am definitely attracted to intelligent articulate and confident women.
But sumptuous breasts are also a a factor in the the elixir of attraction.........."
I could have sworn all you needed was a pulse just a day or two ago. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
See, this is how intelligent I am, when I originally read this, I thought it meant 'thick' as in 'large', and thought to myself, 'what an odd comment'
Tell that what you will"
Too much porn. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically, what it says in the title.
A quick definition, saposexual is 'A behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use'
I've seen it suggested its snobbish to consider one, but I'm not sure. I think it's definitely pretentious, but that's not the same thing.
I don't think there's anything innately discriminatory (which snobbishness is) about valuing, prioritising and seeking out intelligence in sexual partners.
Thoughts?
"
Not even a little. People can say and like what they want. I don't think this makes them snobbish at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there a name/label for people who attracted to others who are thick as mince?
Predatory?
It would depend on the reasoning I suppose.
I suppose. What would be the nonpredatory reasoning though?
If you’re thick and want someone on the same wavelength.
Thick is definitely discriminatory and segregationist
I see a tongue in cheek comment on here still has the desired effect "
You see, your not as thick as you thought you were, are you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am definitely attracted to intelligent articulate and confident women.
But sumptuous breasts are also a a factor in the the elixir of attraction..........
I could have sworn all you needed was a pulse just a day or two ago."
Actually it was a faint intermittent pulse. Does that preclude having sumptuous breasts? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am definitely attracted to intelligent articulate and confident women.
But sumptuous breasts are also a a factor in the the elixir of attraction..........
I could have sworn all you needed was a pulse just a day or two ago.
Actually it was a faint intermittent pulse. Does that preclude having sumptuous breasts?"
Preclude no. But if all you need is that then it's a separate game.
Like saying heterosexual but actually any willing body will do regardless of meeting the criteria proposed in the term. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am definitely attracted to intelligent articulate and confident women.
But sumptuous breasts are also a a factor in the the elixir of attraction..........
I could have sworn all you needed was a pulse just a day or two ago.
Actually it was a faint intermittent pulse. Does that preclude having sumptuous breasts?
Preclude no. But if all you need is that then it's a separate game.
Like saying heterosexual but actually any willing body will do regardless of meeting the criteria proposed in the term."
Actually the proposition specifically stated a woman. I linked the cerebral requirements to bodily attributes so it’s the same game.
So, in summary an intelligent articulate confident and curvy lady with asthma perhaps?
There that’s tidied that up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people think that someone looking for a sapiosexual are themselves an intellectual.
This isn't always the case.
"
Absolutely correct. I think the text book definition is 'someone aroused by or attracted to intelligence'.
And ill admit, i do understand it..i have an attraction for female historians.
And i certainly wouldnt class myself as intelligent |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And in answer to your question, Op, i dont see anything wrong with it.
Some people are attracted to others who make them laugh.
Or bad boys/girls
Or musicians.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s probably considered more snobbish by those who don’t identify that way. I’d consider myself inclined to use that word to describe myself, but I do t feel it strongly enough to want to put in on a profile. But it’s up there with Professional ad a bit of a trigger word for some, and let’s say is not the professionals who object to that word, as a rule of thumb. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It •may• be interpreted as snobbish when that term is applied recklessly on a profile as a 'boilerplate' but not followed up in subsequent dialogues/chats.
Watch out for the ones who prescribe in being "basorexic", such as me.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
I'll admit the first time I saw sapiosexual on a profile I had no idea what it meant I had to google it, so I am probably not what they are looking for! 
I don't find it snobbish or pretentious, if I see it I just take it as someones preference and treat it as such, if I don't feel I fit someones preferences I just move on don't give it a second thought. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If it's an actual kink - as in, someone is specifically aroused by intelligence, even in the absence of any other desirable attribute - then it is no worse, or better,than a kink for latex, or big cocks, breasts, etc. But like all such things, it is at best limiting and at worst objectifying. It's no less dehumanising to be just a brain than to be just a vagina.
If, on the other hand, it means that intelligence in a sexual partner is what philosophers would call a necessary but insufficient condition for sexual desire - a pre-requisite, but not enough on its own - then it fits me, and I'm sure lors of other people. But IF that is what it means, then the word is etymologically confusing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'"
I'm a woman attracted to men with body hair. Am I saying I think I'm a man with body hair ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If it's an actual kink - as in, someone is specifically aroused by intelligence, even in the absence of any other desirable attribute - then it is no worse, or better,than a kink for latex, or big cocks, breasts, etc. But like all such things, it is at best limiting and at worst objectifying. It's no less dehumanising to be just a brain than to be just a vagina.
If, on the other hand, it means that intelligence in a sexual partner is what philosophers would call a necessary but insufficient condition for sexual desire - a pre-requisite, but not enough on its own - then it fits me, and I'm sure lors of other people. But IF that is what it means, then the word is etymologically confusing."
I quite agree with most of your statement - it is part of an overall attraction, not sufficient on its own. Without it, nothing would happen for me.
Being sapiosexual is neutral and non judgmental. As such I cannot see how it could be offensive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Incidentally op why do you find it pretentious?
I think its pretentious because it's often a short-hand way of indicating what you think of yourself, as if saying answering the question: 'tell me you think you're intelligent, without telling me you think you're intelligent'"
No i think you have misunderstood it - they are attracted to intelligence
I see it as a descriptive word that would tick a box.. I cannot fathom why it would make you feel inferior?
Surely like all descriptive words, read it and move on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Nothing at all wrong with being attracted to intelligence.
I’m not sapiosexual ( I may be demisexual, another big word) but I have had many partner who are sapiosexual 
What I don’t like is people who tell me they are intelligent. They almost always are not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's sapiosexual , always has been . The bastardised spelling saposexual appeared on Urban Dictionary and has gone through other forms of communication with supposed sapiosexuals not noticing. Amusing ..... arf !
Intelligence does attract me but i'd rather have a fun , fit , fuck than a clever limp dick ...
Anyone saying they are sapiosexual on here is PRETENTIOUS with a capital TWAT....
Just say you love intelligence |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thinking about it, sapiosexual is just finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing. It doesn’t actual infer any intelligence regarding the person who is identifying that way.
I might find big boobs sexually attractive or arousing, doesn’t mean I have them
I might find french accents sexually attractive or arousing, doesn’t mean I have one
I might find submissive women sexually attractive or arousing, doesn’t mean I am also submissive… see where this is going?
So, if you find someone calling themselves sapiosexual, it’s probably a reach to then add in your mind “because I too, am intelligent, and therefore am looking for people who are good enough for me”, then I think it more likely you are the one with the issue if you don’t like it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"It's sapiosexual , always has been . The bastardised spelling saposexual appeared on Urban Dictionary and has gone through other forms of communication with supposed sapiosexuals not noticing. Amusing ..... arf !
Intelligence does attract me but i'd rather have a fun , fit , fuck than a clever limp dick ...
Anyone saying they are sapiosexual on here is PRETENTIOUS with a capital TWAT....
Just say you love intelligence "
Not sure I would agree - no, actually I am quite sure I don't agree. Ooops, sorry GC
For me "loving intelligence" means I am simply attracted to intelligence whereas "sapiosexual" equates to been attracted to intelligence more so than to any other traits e.g. humour, values etc.
It is a fine line tbf but for me personally, the sapiosexuality is definitely more appropriate than just the love of intelligence.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve always got the impression that a lot of people picked up on the term ‘sapiosexual’ because it’s just a really nice-sounding word. If feels good to say. To roll around your tongue. All that jazz.
And yeah, it’s a little obscure (or it was) so there’s an implied exclusivity there as well. Like it or not, people often enjoy feeling a little superior. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Feel it's a question of which kind intelligence you find attractive..
Emotional, Academic, Social etc.. As with any label there's a huge interpretation and frankly we enjoy people who appeal on these elements, but also we find physically attractive..
Yeah!! Picky   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual "
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ? "
And even if it did, why would it be vain to call yourself an intellectual anyway ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ? "
I kinda think some people use the term because they feel it *does* imply their own emotional maturity/intelligence though. Just some people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ? "
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are "
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" For me "loving intelligence" means I am simply attracted to intelligence whereas "sapiosexual" equates to been attracted to intelligence more so than to any other traits e.g. humour, values etc.
It is a fine line tbf but for me personally, the sapiosexuality is definitely more appropriate than just the love of intelligence.
"
That's the important bit, and why I know I'm definitely not one. Intelligence as a pull factor? Yes. But above all else, or on its own? No.
(And that's before you get to the 'how are we defining/measuring intelligence' piece.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
"
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative. "
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative.
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors."
I get that but sapiosexual is such a vague term, that I don't find it useful. But that's just me and I dislike it's impreciseness |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
" For me "loving intelligence" means I am simply attracted to intelligence whereas "sapiosexual" equates to been attracted to intelligence more so than to any other traits e.g. humour, values etc.
It is a fine line tbf but for me personally, the sapiosexuality is definitely more appropriate than just the love of intelligence.
That's the important bit, and why I know I'm definitely not one. Intelligence as a pull factor? Yes. But above all else, or on its own? No.
(And that's before you get to the 'how are we defining/measuring intelligence' piece.)"
I quite agree with you - it just helps to decide whether somebody is for you or not! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge "
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. "
touché |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative.
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors.
I get that but sapiosexual is such a vague term, that I don't find it useful. But that's just me and I dislike it's impreciseness "
I don't find it vague. It describes a person who is turned on by intelligence.
I know that someone describing themselves as such wouldn't get much of a boner talking to me.
There are different levels of intelligence and someone not particularly clever might look at me and think I have a brain |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to. "
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. touché "
Do you find clever women attractive? Some men are intimidated by intelligence in women. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on how you define intelligence, if it's being able to spout Nietzsche etc then I'm thick if it's how to get your heating going again or the intricacies of the bodies reaction to pressure and decompression then I'm quite bright  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. touché
Do you find clever women attractive? Some men are intimidated by intelligence in women."
I enjoy nice people if youre intelligent and nice thats a bonus |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. touché
Do you find clever women attractive? Some men are intimidated by intelligence in women."
You hit on something really important for me.
So I consider myself (very) straight but... I am attracted to intelligent women. It is not a physical thing, or perhaps that is not where it starts or ends but there can definitely be an attraction.
As for the "type" of intelligence, for me to be attracted the person does not have to have a degree or formal qualification.
It is more an ability and desire to think original thoughts, to ponder in abstract terms, challenge, question underlying concepts and it can touch on anything, from cultural differences, languages, music... you name it.
Thanks for asking - such a good question!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Its certainly very vain to call yourself sapiosexual
May I ask why? As has already been said many times, liking someone who is intellectual in no way implies that you are an intellectual yourself does it ?
because you're calling yourself it which implies you are
But you can like traits in other people that you’re not yourself can’t you ? And even if someone is intellectual is that a bad thing ? Just picking a name out of thin air , would it have been vain for Stephen Hawkin to declare he was an intellectual?
yes but my point is you're calling yourself it..... So in my opinion thats vain, surely its for others to judge
In my world, you have every right to think that referring to oneself as sapiosexual is based on vanity.
Just in the same way that every sapiosexual has the right to use or not use the term to refer to themselves.
It is really so simple. touché
Do you find clever women attractive? Some men are intimidated by intelligence in women.I enjoy nice people if youre intelligent and nice thats a bonus "
Good point, because somebody like might just see it the other way round. I enjoy intelligent and respectful people and a sense of humour, good looks ...whatever could be a bonus. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative.
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors.
I get that but sapiosexual is such a vague term, that I don't find it useful. But that's just me and I dislike it's impreciseness
I don't find it vague. It describes a person who is turned on by intelligence.
I know that someone describing themselves as such wouldn't get much of a boner talking to me.
There are different levels of intelligence and someone not particularly clever might look at me and think I have a brain "
Hmm, given me food for thought. I randomly find people interesting if they have passion for a subject and that doesn't necessarily mean intelligence to me, but they're very often linked.
But do agree what people's idea of intelligence varies. But I guess on a profile that says they're sapiosexual, how would I know I was intelligent enough or not? Be mortified to say hello there I'm intelligent and they thought I was as draft as a brush |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread. "
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative.
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors.
I get that but sapiosexual is such a vague term, that I don't find it useful. But that's just me and I dislike it's impreciseness
I don't find it vague. It describes a person who is turned on by intelligence.
I know that someone describing themselves as such wouldn't get much of a boner talking to me.
There are different levels of intelligence and someone not particularly clever might look at me and think I have a brain
Hmm, given me food for thought. I randomly find people interesting if they have passion for a subject and that doesn't necessarily mean intelligence to me, but they're very often linked.
But do agree what people's idea of intelligence varies. But I guess on a profile that says they're sapiosexual, how would I know I was intelligent enough or not? Be mortified to say hello there I'm intelligent and they thought I was as draft as a brush "
I hope this does not sound patronising as it is not intended to : Going by the posts I have seen from you, I get the impression that you enjoy an intelligent conversation and that qualifies in my books (I am being serious!) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread.
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true. "
It's the actual word that people find "snobbish", because it's a complex word that isn't often used in every day language.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
"
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread.
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true.
It's the actual word that people find "snobbish", because it's a complex word that isn't often used in every day language.
"
I think that's it. And I would say that *some* people probably do use it about themselves as some kind of filter. In a "if you don't know what this word means, we won't get on" kind of way.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread.
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true.
It's the actual word that people find "snobbish", because it's a complex word that isn't often used in every day language.
I think that's it. And I would say that *some* people probably do use it about themselves as some kind of filter. In a "if you don't know what this word means, we won't get on" kind of way.
"
Perhaps it is true that it is because it is not an everyday word like "sexy" or "leggy" or "intelligent".
It is an assumption though (and you are perfectly entitled to make it)that it is a filter for everybody. It would not be a filter for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think so yes. A little self absorbed and arrogant. And who are you to define intelligence anyway? I mean how much do you think of yourself to be able to pick and choose who is intelligent enough and who is unworthy? It's fine to be attracted to someone who you deem as intelligent, but I don't think it's something that needs to be stated. And when I see it, kind of puts me off because it gives off nothing but pretentious vibes. But maybe I'm jealous because I'm a big dummy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I just find it an odd term. Attracted to intelligence is kind of meaningless, and by that I mean I can talk at a world expert level on my speciality. But say physics I'm an absolute moron.
To me it's a bit like saying I find pretty people attractive. It's really subjective and hence not very informative.
You don't have to be a whizz at everything to be intelligent.
You show signs of intelligence by showing knowledge and understanding of a subject, or many subjects.
Some people are attracted to Scientists. Some are attracted to Authors.
I get that but sapiosexual is such a vague term, that I don't find it useful. But that's just me and I dislike it's impreciseness
I don't find it vague. It describes a person who is turned on by intelligence.
I know that someone describing themselves as such wouldn't get much of a boner talking to me.
There are different levels of intelligence and someone not particularly clever might look at me and think I have a brain
Hmm, given me food for thought. I randomly find people interesting if they have passion for a subject and that doesn't necessarily mean intelligence to me, but they're very often linked.
But do agree what people's idea of intelligence varies. But I guess on a profile that says they're sapiosexual, how would I know I was intelligent enough or not? Be mortified to say hello there I'm intelligent and they thought I was as draft as a brush I hope this does not sound patronising as it is not intended to : Going by the posts I have seen from you, I get the impression that you enjoy an intelligent conversation and that qualifies in my books (I am being serious!) "
I took it as a compliment, thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Basically, what it says in the title.
A quick definition, saposexual is 'A behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use'
I've seen it suggested its snobbish to consider one, but I'm not sure. I think it's definitely pretentious, but that's not the same thing.
I don't think there's anything innately discriminatory (which snobbishness is) about valuing, prioritising and seeking out intelligence in sexual partners.
Thoughts?
"
I presume you mean sapiosexual.
No i dont thing its snobbish, i just think theyre trying to sound clever or aloof.
Just say you like smart people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
"
Think I killed it with my question -sorry |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense? "
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread.
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true.
It's the actual word that people find "snobbish", because it's a complex word that isn't often used in every day language.
I think that's it. And I would say that *some* people probably do use it about themselves as some kind of filter. In a "if you don't know what this word means, we won't get on" kind of way.
Perhaps it is true that it is because it is not an everyday word like "sexy" or "leggy" or "intelligent".
It is an assumption though (and you are perfectly entitled to make it)that it is a filter for everybody. It would not be a filter for me. "
No, nor me. I was more saying some use the term as some kind of attempted filter. I would also say that anyone using it that way is a bit of a dick, in my opinion!
This is where the subjectivity comes in, though, isn't it? I like to think I am a reasonably intelligent chap so would not be put off messaging someone referring to themselves as sapiosexual, if other stuff suggested we'd get on. But there's still every chance they'll think I'm some kind of dimwit if their measure of intelligence was different to mine! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
Think I killed it with my question -sorry "
No, I was deleting my sentence to write something else and hit post |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent?"
No, I guess not. I would also still enjoy a conversation with somebody who does not seem to have much empathy or warmth but I would not necessarily be attracted to them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It doesn't mean your intelligent it means your attracted to intelligence. I'm attracted to intelligence far more than looks and I'm a dumbo You are NOT a dumbo, lady! "
Thankyou but my late partner was very intelligent same as the guys I used to meet usually had at least one degree. I went to a shit comprehensive school and got my a levels as a mature student
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I don’t know about sapiosexuals being snobbish but there seems to be a lot of inverted snobbery being expressed on the thread.
That was what I was referring to - maybe people, myself included, sometimes associate a trait with a word, as an example "sapiosexual" a bit up their own whatsit, whereas that is not necessarily true.
It's the actual word that people find "snobbish", because it's a complex word that isn't often used in every day language.
I think that's it. And I would say that *some* people probably do use it about themselves as some kind of filter. In a "if you don't know what this word means, we won't get on" kind of way.
Perhaps it is true that it is because it is not an everyday word like "sexy" or "leggy" or "intelligent".
It is an assumption though (and you are perfectly entitled to make it)that it is a filter for everybody. It would not be a filter for me.
No, nor me. I was more saying some use the term as some kind of attempted filter. I would also say that anyone using it that way is a bit of a dick, in my opinion!
This is where the subjectivity comes in, though, isn't it? I like to think I am a reasonably intelligent chap so would not be put off messaging someone referring to themselves as sapiosexual, if other stuff suggested we'd get on. But there's still every chance they'll think I'm some kind of dimwit if their measure of intelligence was different to mine!"
I hear you!
I can obviously only speak for myself and I would say (said it earlier somewhere on this thread) that I do not "measure" intelligence or differentiate between a mathematical genius, a poet, a composer or any particular qualification - they are irrelevant to me.
The ability to think for yourself, to be critical, to ask questions, to be interested in our world and what makes it tick ... enjoying those are the sort of questions I would include as a sign of intelligence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent?No, I guess not. I would also still enjoy a conversation with somebody who does not seem to have much empathy or warmth but I would not necessarily be attracted to them. "
Which is why we need the long conversation in the first place.
I can feel attraction to someone who has no formal qualifications and had a basic education, if they have interesting life stories to regale.
I've spent time with very intelligent men who just want to turn off their brain and enjoy something carnal. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It doesn't mean your intelligent it means your attracted to intelligence. I'm attracted to intelligence far more than looks and I'm a dumbo
Who are you replying to? "
Noone I was just saying my bit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to.
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
"
The debate is entirely about what people associate with the word in my opinion and how it makes *them" feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"It doesn't mean your intelligent it means your attracted to intelligence. I'm attracted to intelligence far more than looks and I'm a dumbo You are NOT a dumbo, lady! Thankyou but my late partner was very intelligent same as the guys I used to meet usually had at least one degree. I went to a shit comprehensive school and got my a levels as a mature student"
Qualifications don't equate to intelligence. I think you're underestimating yourself.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent?No, I guess not. I would also still enjoy a conversation with somebody who does not seem to have much empathy or warmth but I would not necessarily be attracted to them.
Which is why we need the long conversation in the first place.
I can feel attraction to someone who has no formal qualifications and had a basic education, if they have interesting life stories to regale.
I've spent time with very intelligent men who just want to turn off their brain and enjoy something carnal."
So very very true!
...
I think I am beginning to fancy you now! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"It doesn't mean your intelligent it means your attracted to intelligence. I'm attracted to intelligence far more than looks and I'm a dumbo You are NOT a dumbo, lady! Thankyou but my late partner was very intelligent same as the guys I used to meet usually had at least one degree. I went to a shit comprehensive school and got my a levels as a mature student
Qualifications don't equate to intelligence. I think you're underestimating yourself.
"
This^^^ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to.
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
The debate is entirely about what people associate with the word in my opinion and how it makes *them" feel. "
Perhaps people feel inadequate when they see labels like sapiosexual or sapiophile.
It's purely an adjective. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent?No, I guess not. I would also still enjoy a conversation with somebody who does not seem to have much empathy or warmth but I would not necessarily be attracted to them.
Which is why we need the long conversation in the first place.
I can feel attraction to someone who has no formal qualifications and had a basic education, if they have interesting life stories to regale.
I've spent time with very intelligent men who just want to turn off their brain and enjoy something carnal. So very very true!
...
I think I am beginning to fancy you now! "
And I don't have an O Level to my name |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
I don't think they are co-dependent. Would you get into a long conversation with someone who you didn't find intelligent?No, I guess not. I would also still enjoy a conversation with somebody who does not seem to have much empathy or warmth but I would not necessarily be attracted to them.
Which is why we need the long conversation in the first place.
I can feel attraction to someone who has no formal qualifications and had a basic education, if they have interesting life stories to regale.
I've spent time with very intelligent men who just want to turn off their brain and enjoy something carnal. So very very true!
...
I think I am beginning to fancy you now!
And I don't have an O Level to my name "
See? That's my point entirely |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to.
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
The debate is entirely about what people associate with the word in my opinion and how it makes *them" feel.
Perhaps people feel inadequate when they see labels like sapiosexual or sapiophile.
It's purely an adjective."
Maybe or excluded or they genuinely don't like people who find intelligence attractive or describe themselves as professional |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to.
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
The debate is entirely about what people associate with the word in my opinion and how it makes *them" feel.
Perhaps people feel inadequate when they see labels like sapiosexual or sapiophile.
It's purely an adjective.
Maybe or excluded or they genuinely don't like people who find intelligence attractive or describe themselves as professional "
Some people like to thrust their intelligence and qualifications in our faces; which can be off-putting.
I remember sitting with a doctor, in his lounge, sipping wine, and he was gobsmacked that I knew who Alan Bennett was.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense? "
Demi is simply secondary attraction. I mean I can have sex with people I’ve just met if they are pretty , but it’s no way near as good as when secondary acctraction kicks in after a few dates, or in some cases a year of messaging on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I describe myself as a demisexual, hoping that the people reading knows what it means.
So here is my question because I kind also relate to that a bit and sometimes the sapio is at odds with the demi - like fighting each other. Does that make any sense?
Demi is simply secondary attraction. I mean I can have sex with people I’ve just met if they are pretty , but it’s no way near as good as when secondary acctraction kicks in after a few dates, or in some cases a year of messaging on here "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Um.
Generally if I see someone say it, I think they're a wanker.
Same as people who say they're nice or genuine or whatever.
Nothing wrong with being the thing, it's the broadcasting that makes them look like wankers to me."
Puts me in mind of that joke...
How do you someone is vegan?
They'll tell you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder what terms are acceptable to either describe oneself or who one is attracted to.
I think that is a really important consideration; you stated earlier that the debate is reminiscent of the one on "professional" and I quite agree.
In a climate that lends to apologising before one has committed an offense (no judgment applied from my part btw) maybe the debate is about what people ASSOCIATE with a word rather than the word itself?
Just a thought.
The debate is entirely about what people associate with the word in my opinion and how it makes *them" feel.
Perhaps people feel inadequate when they see labels like sapiosexual or sapiophile.
It's purely an adjective.
Maybe or excluded or they genuinely don't like people who find intelligence attractive or describe themselves as professional
Some people like to thrust their intelligence and qualifications in our faces; which can be off-putting.
I remember sitting with a doctor, in his lounge, sipping wine, and he was gobsmacked that I knew who Alan Bennett was.
"
On the other hand someone I know saw me doing a crossword, asked to look at the clues and when they saw it was cryptic threw the paper down calling me a 'bloody brainy cow'. Apart from the fact that I'm no Alice Roberts, I wasn't shoving my limited ability to solve cryptic clues in her face but she chose to insult me because of her feelings about herself.
I love Alan Bennett though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think people are losing track of the purpose of a profile - it's to attract the people you might want, and to repulse the people you don't.
If you feel angry or excluded by the use of this word, then console yourself with the thought that you probably wouldn't have got on with this person anyway, and be grateful to them for being more honest than most.
Now if we could just make it so people felt they could write "I'm a racist homophobe with body odour and a complete inability to keep to appointments, and looking for similar" then all our lives would be much easier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
