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Aggressively altruistic
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Ha! I do this sometimes but I'm not sure it's quite altruism. In part it's because I've worked in hospitality and know how difficult it can be. In part it's because I dislike chaos around me.
The Manchester social in the summer, the glasses were everywhere over the bar, the bar staff were clearly short staffed and I thought I'd help out by collecting them all and putting them in the right place. Also meant it was easier for people to order their drinks without worrying about knocking over the dregs from another glass. Someone bought me a tequila shot after watching me do it which was sweet but not needed. I was fuelled by enough tequila to do it and not care.  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Ha! I do this sometimes but I'm not sure it's quite altruism. In part it's because I've worked in hospitality and know how difficult it can be. In part it's because I dislike chaos around me.
The Manchester social in the summer, the glasses were everywhere over the bar, the bar staff were clearly short staffed and I thought I'd help out by collecting them all and putting them in the right place. Also meant it was easier for people to order their drinks without worrying about knocking over the dregs from another glass. Someone bought me a tequila shot after watching me do it which was sweet but not needed. I was fuelled by enough tequila to do it and not care. "
Maybe not altruism but the alliteration was too much to pass up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of you is the most readable poster on here 
Definitely Tea. I waffle on far too much to resemble readable qualities. "
Not a bad guess in a 50/50
Have another try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? "
Aggressive tidying, yes. Some people are just so unaware of the shit they leave behind. Or they don't care.
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Last night following a social, during the horologium of ØØ.ØØhours, I gave two erstwhile Fabbers of the Nøcturnal Fellowship a tour around Mayfair, Park Lane and Piccadilly.
They ooh'd and aah'd at the bright lights and big city before I swiftly and unceremoniously dumped them at Bond Street Station.
My altruism and benevolence only went so far. (And I was yearning to get home for a sit-down wee!)
Would that meet with your approval,
oh •Chai Minkey•...? |
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When I return my trolley after putting the shopping in the vehicle, I always collect up any stray trolleys along the way and put them back.
The supermarket have obviously got fed up of having to retrieve them as I now see they have the pound coin chain locks on them now, so you have to take it back to the trolley park to get your pound out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often stack all the glasses and cutlery when in a cafe or restaurant.
I pick stuff of supermarket floors and put it back on the shelf too.
It never occurred to me that this is weird?..  |
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"I'm more a sloth like tidy upper than a whirling dervish "
Here's a tip ..... I sloth clean at times too ..
I have a pack of lemon wipes behind the t.v.... When im listening to the news or sommat I don't need to look at. I wipe the t.v over , the t.v. table and the fireplace surround n hearth.
FAB Tip of the day. No charge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of you is the most readable poster on here
Is it the one with the pretty face and the big tits ?"
 I'd only noticed the words but now you mention it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of you is the most readable poster on here
Is it the one with the pretty face and the big tits ?"
But it's all about leagues granny so I'll just keep reading the posts. |
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"Tidying up to help others out? Not anything other than being a human is it?
If that's your definition of being human then there's not many about. "
Fewer and fewer perhaps. But don't lose the faith! We can do it. It's our world. And better to be in if its a bit less rubbishy |
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"Tidying up to help others out? Not anything other than being a human is it? "
Bloody Hell BFM .... have you taken a naivety pill ?
The rubbish strewn around streets here ( shopping areas and bin days ) is bloody astronomical ....
Messing things up seems to be more about being a human being |
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I must admit that I can't get over how people can spill things and not see how important it is to clear it up quickly.
I was at a wake before Xmas when a drink was spilled in a bump.... everyone was lovely about it .... everyone apologised.... everyone walked off with the drink to sit at a table.
I knew that someone would go slipping and sliding at any moment in a packed hall so I went to the very busy bar staff and got a paper roll......
Not my mess but definitely my problem, my conscience...... I cleaned it up but im sure it was as selfish as it was altruistic. I had ME in mind mostly. |
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"Tidying up to help others out? Not anything other than being a human is it?
Bloody Hell BFM .... have you taken a naivety pill ?
The rubbish strewn around streets here ( shopping areas and bin days ) is bloody astronomical ....
Messing things up seems to be more about being a human being"
I don't get out much... But my living room is free from litter... Mostly... Apart from after the pubs close. Then it's all tinnies and kebab wrappers. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? "
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts? |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? "
For women...... Yes  |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts? "
Could be a bit ocd? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Could be a bit ocd? "
I think you cold be right but her home is not meticulously tidy or clean - so it kind of feels more like this hyper sense of duty towards everybody?
For clarity as Granny mentioned on this thread, a spillage is different and needs cleaning up immediately for obvious reasons but I am talking about a tidying that I am more than happy to do on my own after everybody has left and had a good time.
The manic need to clear up really does ruin what is usually a comfy, cosy and fun atmosphere.  |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Could be a bit ocd?
I think you cold be right but her home is not meticulously tidy or clean - so it kind of feels more like this hyper sense of duty towards everybody?
For clarity as Granny mentioned on this thread, a spillage is different and needs cleaning up immediately for obvious reasons but I am talking about a tidying that I am more than happy to do on my own after everybody has left and had a good time.
The manic need to clear up really does ruin what is usually a comfy, cosy and fun atmosphere. "
I know what you mean... A friend I do odd jobs for is the same... I put down a spanner after use and when I turn round to pick it up again its gone missing... Not only has it gone but its already been out back in the cupboard under the stairs... To say it's frustrating is an under statement. |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts? "
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When the shopping baskets are all in a pile at the tills because people cant flip a handle back, I have to re arrange them so they all stack neatly and can be kicked under the end of the conveyor out the way. |
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By *amantMan
over a year ago
Alnmouth |
Lost my wallet at a gig in London, it had all the cash in it I had for the weekend. £200 about 10 years ago. My girlfriend at the time was remarkably understanding and got me to submit a lost possession thing at the venue website a couple of days later. A week passes and I get an email back saying they had it. As I was in Newcastle, I couldn't just hop down at short notice, they understood completely and posted it to me and blankly refused to accept postage for it. Everything was there, down to the last pound. My remarkable naivety had gone completely unpunished and I'd learned someone will always give you a reason to have faith in humanity, even in the least expected circumstances. |
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"Lost my wallet at a gig in London, it had all the cash in it I had for the weekend. £200 about 10 years ago. My girlfriend at the time was remarkably understanding and got me to submit a lost possession thing at the venue website a couple of days later. A week passes and I get an email back saying they had it. As I was in Newcastle, I couldn't just hop down at short notice, they understood completely and posted it to me and blankly refused to accept postage for it. Everything was there, down to the last pound. My remarkable naivety had gone completely unpunished and I'd learned someone will always give you a reason to have faith in humanity, even in the least expected circumstances. "
yes agreed |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ... "
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality) |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? "
......................... ...
Haha..very savvy observation! I think there's a difference between genuinely wanting to help and hating helping but wanting to appear helpful..if that makes sense |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)"
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
For those of you thinking someone tidying up or putting things in their right place, have you considered the person doing can't help themselves as they need to see the area clear, or random things put into the correct places?
Sometimes we feel compelled to straighten up the items placed around the checkout, or om shelves as we wait our turn.
Or, see trolleys lying around that need to be put together, because they are lonely
I wish someone would come and passive aggressively clean my kitchen today. Someone had a little soirée in there last night and has left me to clear up  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"For those of you thinking someone tidying up or putting things in their right place, have you considered the person doing can't help themselves as they need to see the area clear, or random things put into the correct places?
Sometimes we feel compelled to straighten up the items placed around the checkout, or om shelves as we wait our turn.
Or, see trolleys lying around that need to be put together, because they are lonely
I wish someone would come and passive aggressively clean my kitchen today. Someone had a little soirée in there last night and has left me to clear up "
Priceless  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table. "
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table. |
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"For those of you thinking someone tidying up or putting things in their right place, have you considered the person doing can't help themselves as they need to see the area clear, or random things put into the correct places?
Sometimes we feel compelled to straighten up the items placed around the checkout, or om shelves as we wait our turn.
Or, see trolleys lying around that need to be put together, because they are lonely
I wish someone would come and passive aggressively clean my kitchen today. Someone had a little soirée in there last night and has left me to clear up "
Same here but it was me that soiree'd |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table. "
Never thought of that |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table. "
Nanna .... ???? Shit comfortably ..... tsk |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"One of you is the most readable poster on here
Is it the one with the pretty face and the big tits ?
Oh, I thought he meant Meli.
Oh Bad Nanna ...... tsk
May Meli bite you on the buttocks. "
Good luck with that...my arse is huge. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table. "
I totally agree with the offer and the act of helping. I just find her unstoppable immediacy mostly ruins the end of a good night. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table.
Nanna .... ???? Shit comfortably ..... tsk "
Yea, no one wants to shit with plates all over the place |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table.
I totally agree with the offer and the act of helping. I just find her unstoppable immediacy mostly ruins the end of a good night. "
What about grabbing the plates from her, putting your face against hers and growling "*Insert name*... leave...the...fucking...plates...alone"? |
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If it helps at all .....
I feed a good friend every Sunday evening. I cook and then he offers to clear ....
I don't want to clear as I want to sit, converse..... and what evers.
It isn't what ensues after ...... Me going No leave it ! No! No! and him going Oh yes..... yes ... you cooked and I don't want you moaning about the dishes that gets me so much as the ritual of it .... one of us is going to have to back off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table.
I totally agree with the offer and the act of helping. I just find her unstoppable immediacy mostly ruins the end of a good night.
What about grabbing the plates from her, putting your face against hers and growling "*Insert name*... leave...the...fucking...plates...alone"? "
This  |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table.
I totally agree with the offer and the act of helping. I just find her unstoppable immediacy mostly ruins the end of a good night. "
I think we all have a friend or two who have an almost pathological trait like this. They literally cannot help themselves. |
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By *amantMan
over a year ago
Alnmouth |
"If it helps at all .....
I feed a good friend every Sunday evening. I cook and then he offers to clear ....
I don't want to clear as I want to sit, converse..... and what evers.
It isn't what ensues after ...... Me going No leave it ! No! No! and him going Oh yes..... yes ... you cooked and I don't want you moaning about the dishes that gets me so much as the ritual of it .... one of us is going to have to back off. "
I am that person except I only do it if I feel an awkward pause. Usually conversation flows so freely, there's no hurry. As soon as that pause happens though, I have to help. I'm not the cook so I feel I have to do something. I can't not do it. |
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By *onMashMan
over a year ago
Lichfield |
"Last night following a social, during the horologium of ØØ.ØØhours, I gave two erstwhile Fabbers of the Nøcturnal Fellowship a tour around Mayfair, Park Lane and Piccadilly.
They ooh'd and aah'd at the bright lights and big city before I swiftly and unceremoniously dumped them at Bond Street Station.
My altruism and benevolence only went so far. (And I was yearning to get home for a sit-down wee!)
Would that meet with your approval,
oh •Chai Minkey•...?"
Brilliant |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ... "
Put signs up. Get a QI klaxon that you press when her hand errs near a plate... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Put signs up. Get a QI klaxon that you press when her hand errs near a plate... "
Or get a butler in |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"If it helps at all .....
I feed a good friend every Sunday evening. I cook and then he offers to clear ....
I don't want to clear as I want to sit, converse..... and what evers.
It isn't what ensues after ...... Me going No leave it ! No! No! and him going Oh yes..... yes ... you cooked and I don't want you moaning about the dishes that gets me so much as the ritual of it .... one of us is going to have to back off. "
Jump on his cock the minute you finish dessert. |
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"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Put signs up. Get a QI klaxon that you press when her hand errs near a plate...
Or get a butler in"
I know what you're thinking,. You're thinking "Did she already tell me six times or only five?" Now to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a 30cm pampered chef cast iron pan, the most powerful frying pan in the world and will knock your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's a no from me! They're usually doing *favours* you've not asked for  and expect *payback* at some point or another, or they're simply try-hards which also gives me the ick  |
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Fuckin' don't get me started on this, Tea babe:
I once met this lad, he was a top lad really, kinda looked like that fella from the film Kingpin which is like a prequel to The Big Lebowski, anyway nice looking fella, really lovely wife, and they were having a rough time, y'know?
So I gave them a million dollars. Straight up. No catch.
I said to them, "here are, have a million dollars" and they were like "noooo we caaaaan't take your money mister handsomeman nooooo" and I was like "That's not my name, take the cash you bellends"
This went on for 3 months. Three fuckin' months!
By the end of it I was like "Look you dicks, you're having this money or I will put you in The Hunger Games or something" and they were like "FINE but you have to sleep with the missus no takebacksies", so begrudgingly I did, except not very begrudgingly.
Then they used the cash to make a movie about it all, made me look like a right dick but also like Robert Redford so fair's fair on that, anyway nice lad for a cuck, lovely dong on him to be fair. |
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"Fuckin' don't get me started on this, Tea babe:
I once met this lad, he was a top lad really, kinda looked like that fella from the film Kingpin which is like a prequel to The Big Lebowski, anyway nice looking fella, really lovely wife, and they were having a rough time, y'know?
So I gave them a million dollars. Straight up. No catch.
I said to them, "here are, have a million dollars" and they were like "noooo we caaaaan't take your money mister handsomeman nooooo" and I was like "That's not my name, take the cash you bellends"
This went on for 3 months. Three fuckin' months!
By the end of it I was like "Look you dicks, you're having this money or I will put you in The Hunger Games or something" and they were like "FINE but you have to sleep with the missus no takebacksies", so begrudgingly I did, except not very begrudgingly.
Then they used the cash to make a movie about it all, made me look like a right dick but also like Robert Redford so fair's fair on that, anyway nice lad for a cuck, lovely dong on him to be fair. "
•
Brilliant!!
There's a subtle allegorical reference to this analogy. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself?
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have one particular friend who (in MY house where I am hosting) starts clearing up plates when people literally just had their last piece of dessert.
I have asked her not to on a number of occasions, I have even been blunt and told her she sort of ruins the party atmosphere when bringing in the reality of tidying up but she does not seem capable of taking this on board.
She is a decent person and a good friend but this habit irritates me enormously. I am thinking it is borne out of a false, hypervigilant sense of duty and altruism.
To me it feels like passive aggression though.
Thoughts?
Okay. I've read it twice and admittedly I don't know either of you, the depth of your friendship or your history, so based only on the information above ( and fully holding the belief that you know what you think about the situation anyway ) here's my two penneth.
I'm assuming you are both pretty stable. ( that might be my first mistake )
I don't see it as passive aggressive. Yes she has a desire to clear the plates and I could make many possible reasons and maybe never arrive at the true conclusion so all I have at the moment is .....
She has a desire to clear the plates ASAP
YOU don't want her to.
It's your house.
You've asked her not to before.
She still does.
Working on that - It's not passive aggression.
It's very active. She gets up after being asked not to and takes the lead in your home.
It may not be aggressive at all as you may not have made yourself clear and made a wishy washy statement about clearing plates.
So ... make yourself more clear is one possibility. After that ...
Granted, perhaps stating that it causes an atmosphere of almost unrest is not clear enough, perhaps her desire to clear up is just stronger than hearing that message and respecting my wish (I am not being sarcastic here btw.)
We have been good friends for over 25 years ...
Maybe she just cannot help herself out of an overwhelming sense of duty (actually, this would fit the general personality)
It didn't sound sarky. It makes perfect sense.
I'd let her clear the plates but tell her not to clear them until you tip the wink .......
I've been in a position where i'd rather clear plates than listen to the clap trap around the table.
If someone has been kind enough to cook me dinner, the least I can do is clear the plates so we can chat shit comfortably while we finish our drinks.
I like it when staff clear the plates in a restaurant so we can have our drinks on a nice, clean table.
I totally agree with the offer and the act of helping. I just find her unstoppable immediacy mostly ruins the end of a good night.
What about grabbing the plates from her, putting your face against hers and growling "*Insert name*... leave...the...fucking...plates...alone"? "
I have not tried that one yet... |
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|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"One of you is the most readable poster on here
Is it the one with the pretty face and the big tits ?
Aww you think I've got a pretty face Granny!  Yep, that's all I'm taking from this. "
I like that approach!!! |
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"One of you is the most readable poster on here
Is it the one with the pretty face and the big tits ?
Aww you think I've got a pretty face Granny! Yep, that's all I'm taking from this. "
I thought he was talking to tea Meli  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Last night, post drinking and dancing, I watched a friend running around, tidying up trolleys that had been left haphazardly. It occurred to me that this was one of the most aggressive acts of social conscience and altruism that I’ve seen.
Have you ever seen such acts or perpetrated ones yourself? "
I sometimes participate in sacrificial giving / generosity , but not due to conscience, and try to keep it as private as possible. When I see public displays of altruism I always wonder about the real motives - guilt , insecurity, wanting to be liked etc |
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