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Offsetting dinner!
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Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date? |
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I'm normally paying or going halves. I've had a few guys offer but it's fair if we both go.
That being said, I do believe in the rule of who asks should pay if its not going half, which is why I normally pay. I way to forward to be waiting around for someone to ask me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?"
I went on a first date once, when the waiter brought the bill he gave it to her instead of me. She looked at it with a look of disgust and pushed it across the table to me saying "that's yours".
I was fully intending to pay anyway, but that just struck me as being incredibly rude. There was no second date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always go halves on first dates at least. If I’m seeing a guy regularly and we earn about the same, then continue to go halves. If he earns much less than me (usually the case), then I prefer to pay more. I dint tend to have anything to do with men who earn more than me
I have a kink thing where I enjoy paying, so if he earns less than me and is open to it, I will pay (but I will be honest about what I expect in return). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I pay, it’s out of generosity, and with zero expectations of anything. If I’m meeting someone out for any sort of meal, that’s the sole reason I’m there. Not to worm my way into a sexual situation. |
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?
I went on a first date once, when the waiter brought the bill he gave it to her instead of me. She looked at it with a look of disgust and pushed it across the table to me saying "that's yours".
I was fully intending to pay anyway, but that just struck me as being incredibly rude. There was no second date"
I like that waiter though they should have just out in on the table.  |
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"Always go halves on first dates at least. If I’m seeing a guy regularly and we earn about the same, then continue to go halves. If he earns much less than me (usually the case), then I prefer to pay more. I dint tend to have anything to do with men who earn more than me
I have a kink thing where I enjoy paying, so if he earns less than me and is open to it, I will pay (but I will be honest about what I expect in return). "
If you have had 'that' conversation and they were happy with it....then I'd say (if I were them) what's in the desert menu |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd pay for dinner (or offer to pay) unless the woman had told me it was her treat.
Sex would be a separate thing. I'm not paying for sex, I'm paying for her company and (hopefully) intelligence, sparkling wit and repartee. Well, someone has to.
However, if any women would like to buy me dinner in the expectation of sex, I'm free... |
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"I'd pay for dinner (or offer to pay) unless the woman had told me it was her treat.
Sex would be a separate thing. I'm not paying for sex, I'm paying for her company and (hopefully) intelligence, sparkling wit and repartee. Well, someone has to.
However, if any women would like to buy me dinner in the expectation of sex, I'm free..."
Here's living in the hope |
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True story, I once went out for a meal with Chris Eubank’s then wife in Dubai. Her words were “I’m taking you out for dinner”, it was a work thing and she was my client but the way she phrased it was definitely her shout.
Anyway, we went to a stupidly fancy expensive French place and when the bill arrived she announced, with a rather unsubtle air, her departure to the bathroom and I was left with a bill of around £500! The expense claim went in as soon as I got back to the UK. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?"
Never expect sex or anything else if I pay for gifts or treats. My enjoyment comes from the giving not receiving.
If I invite them out, it is my treat. Of they insist of paying their way I won’t stop them or cause a scene.
If they invite me out or suggest it, I may offer to pay for it all, but I would be pissed if they did it on the expectation that I would be doing so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"However, if any women would like to buy me dinner in the expectation of sex, I'm free...
Here's living in the hope "
Form an orderly queue, ladies. No pushing at the back! |
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"If a guy buys dinner is the assumption that he expects a little something?
Ladies do you feel like that has or you ever has been the situation?"
They might expect something, but they don't always get it.
This is why I prefer a coffee date, less pressure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I paid for my bosses dinner a few days ago (simply because it was quicker for me to do so). I expect a pay rise. Not sex.
I don’t mind paying, share the bill. I’m easy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I paid for my bosses dinner a few days ago (simply because it was quicker for me to do so). I expect a pay rise. Not sex.
I don’t mind paying, share the bill. I’m easy.
Easy you say   "
Especially if she pays! |
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"I paid for my bosses dinner a few days ago (simply because it was quicker for me to do so). I expect a pay rise. Not sex.
I don’t mind paying, share the bill. I’m easy.
Easy you say
Especially if she pays! "
Dinner booked for 7pm, don't be late |
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I always try to pay for dinner/drinks but never expect that simple act to lead to sex. I have learnt over the years that many women these days do not like me to pay for everything and I can understand the psychology behind that rationale….
…the problem is that this is the way I was raised in a single parent family, with sisters and a close grandmother and it was impressed upon me that a man should always pay and behave as a “gentleman” (whatever definition that falls under now).
So I am often faced with a dilemma, insist, because to not do so is against my teaching (and actually makes me feel bad/guilty) or accept that the woman I am out with has the right to do as she pleases too and that it could be considered controlling to be belligerent about it.
These days I just offer with no fanfare and if it’s accepted then great, if not, then okay, we will go Dutch |
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Personally I am always happy to pick up a bill and will never assume it implies any obligation.
One of the things that does amuse me is that we have a fair few (younger) women at work who are very pro woman/strong woman/ independent woman - which I think is great. You sit around at lunch and listen to them talking about last nights date and they are mortified that they should be expected to pay their share on a date. They don’t seem to see the contradiction. |
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I have always offered to pay half, but I'm not ever going to cause a scene if they insist on paying. If men ever did that I'd offer to get the drinks if we went onto somewhere else. Or pick up the tab if we met again.
I've never felt that any man expected anything just because they paid for dinner or drinks...perhaps I've just been lucky with who I've met....or maybe men in general aren't the devious, mysoginistic cretins that some people make them out to be.
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"I have always offered to pay half, but I'm not ever going to cause a scene if they insist on paying. If men ever did that I'd offer to get the drinks if we went onto somewhere else. Or pick up the tab if we met again.
I've never felt that any man expected anything just because they paid for dinner or drinks...perhaps I've just been lucky with who I've met....or maybe men in general aren't the devious, mysoginistic cretins that some people make them out to be.
"
I'd say that is a fair point and I don't think that they are either.
In fact, when I've mentioned to other women about going out for dinner with a guy or for drinks their inference has been that it would be on the guy....that is not how I stay. |
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I’d rather pay and then maybe they get drinks afterwards or something - there’s nothing worse than working out who got what and splitting it.
I wouldn’t expect anything just because I got the meal either. If we seen each again, maybe they’d pay next time or not…it wouldn’t bother me.
Money is just money…a friendship is much more valuable… 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am sooooo over all of that shite!!
My expectations from meeting any person is that they engage as much as I do, that's it.
If they don't then I take it as I wasn't to their liking (not something that bothers me, I'm quite eccentric so it's not unusual) |
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We/I would expect to take turns in buying drinks if on a social and if food is involved, we'd expect to pay for what we'd had and the guy we're meeting to pay for his. It's a bit uneven/unfair when it's a couple meeting a single person, because obviously there's two of us consuming things. |
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?"
• No.
"How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?"
• I know of no other feeling. I always seem to pay. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If it is someone new I'm meeting I will go halves with them on a meal.I think it is very presumptuous to expect someone to pay just because they are a man. If they insist on paying I will pay next time if we meet again.But I prefer especially at first to just go dutch with the bill.
My fwb and I take turns if we are out for meals etc. I would never expect him or anyone else to pay for me just because I'm a woman.
As for expectations yes some men do think if they pay they are owed something in return but in my experience they are few and far between thankfully. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Saw the thread title and immediately assumed this was a "how many miles do I need to jog" or "how long do we have to have sex for tonight" in order to burn off the calories consumed at dinner.... 
My bad. Carry on...... 
A |
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I try to go dutch as I think it's fair....if the guy insists like for dinner then usually if we go for drinks after then I'll get those or something; I don't like the thought of him thinking I'm using him for his money!
It is nice to be treated though...that's usually with someone I know rather than a first date type situation  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I pay or go halves. I quite like taking someone out for a meal, especially a man. Not sure why, not thought too much into it.
If I've paid for a hotel, I'm happy for someone to pay for dinner. I've never had someone expect sex because they've bought me a matcha latte or cinnamon roll. Maybe it's different if it's dinner with someone new. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've paid with no expectations of anymore to follow...I've also been paid for, so swings n roundabout.
Expectations are a fucker though, which lead to disappointment and resentment..
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex? "
Yes
" How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date? "
Yes, she’s getting it good and proper
" Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ? "
Hahahahaha 
"If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks? "
Damn right she does
" Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?"
The hot jism |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do not ever expect anyone to pay for anything i had, in case its making me nervous.
But i had a meet the other day, a random, casual social and i didnt mind him paying for my j2o...
Yesterday i went on a date and i paid for everything, dinner, drinks - wasn't the first one, and he insisted on paying, on dates before.
But i prefer to go halves.
Expecting anything is a noooo in return of wine and dine... Or so.
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex? Yes
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date? Yes, she’s getting it good and proper
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ? Hahahahaha
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks? Damn right she does
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date? The hot jism "
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If its just a meal then halves or one pays for the meal and one the drinks.
I'm not particularly bothered about who pays for what it usually gets sorted.
But I wouldn't expect a guy to pay for everything |
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"Saw the thread title and immediately assumed this was a "how many miles do I need to jog" or "how long do we have to have sex for tonight" in order to burn off the calories consumed at dinner....
My bad. Carry on......
A"
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
No one will say yes will they?
I don’t associate dinner with sex at all, , dinner is different , I enjoy it for it’s own sake. I don’t mind who pays , take in turns , pay half each whatever is comfortable for her
If I want sex I’ll tell them - many women want sex and not dinner! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Up until 2weeks ago, i had started seeing a girl for about 3mths, went "out" about 15times, in all that time I paid for every meal (average £100 plus) apart from two dates, where she cooked for me at home, and she paid for us to go bowling. 
I felt the relationship was very one way, as it happens, she wasnt over her ex |
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"Up until 2weeks ago, i had started seeing a girl for about 3mths, went "out" about 15times, in all that time I paid for every meal (average £100 plus) apart from two dates, where she cooked for me at home, and she paid for us to go bowling.
I felt the relationship was very one way, as it happens, she wasnt over her ex "
If having to pay all the time was bothering you, why didn't you suggest doing something other than going out for food when you were meeting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I paid for my bosses dinner a few days ago (simply because it was quicker for me to do so). I expect a pay rise. Not sex.
I don’t mind paying, share the bill. I’m easy.
Easy you say
Especially if she pays!
Dinner booked for 7pm, don't be late "
Haha. I have a big appetite |
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"No one will say yes will they?
I don’t associate dinner with sex at all, , dinner is different , I enjoy it for it’s own sake. I don’t mind who pays , take in turns , pay half each whatever is comfortable for her
If I want sex I’ll tell them - many women want sex and not dinner! "
I want sex and not dinner. If I'm full up the last thing I want is a session.
I'd be happy to curl up and cuddle |
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?"
If she offers to pay half, I'm happy to pay the whole bill with no expectations of anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?
If she offers to pay half, I'm happy to pay the whole bill with no expectations of anything "
What if she offered to pay the would bill??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys if you pay for drinks or dinner do you do so in the hope of getting sex?
How do you feel if the lady automatically expects you to pay on a date?
Ladies, do you offer to go dutch on a date ?
If he buys dinner do you pay for the the drinks?
Ladies, do you expect a man to pay for whilst on a date?"
If I take a lady out to dinner or lunch I would pay probably because I am old fashioned. By being gentlemanly is there an expectation or ulterior motive absolutely not.
There are standards in life that should be upheld. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It really irks me the entitlement of a man should pay. I went for dinner with a guy last night and although he offered which I appreciate, going halves is the only right thing to do in my opinion. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"No one will say yes will they?
I don’t associate dinner with sex at all, , dinner is different , I enjoy it for it’s own sake. I don’t mind who pays , take in turns , pay half each whatever is comfortable for her
If I want sex I’ll tell them - many women want sex and not dinner!
I want sex and not dinner. If I'm full up the last thing I want is a session.
I'd be happy to curl up and cuddle "
I’m the same, going out for dinner should not be a prelude to sex , or if it is maybe just some tapas , otherwise I’m napping by 10 |
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"It really irks me the entitlement of a man should pay. I went for dinner with a guy last night and although he offered which I appreciate, going halves is the only right thing to do in my opinion."
I agree. It's 2023.
Women aren't sat at home doing the dishes anymore. |
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"It really irks me the entitlement of a man should pay. I went for dinner with a guy last night and although he offered which I appreciate, going halves is the only right thing to do in my opinion."
Such entitlement irks me too |
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"No one will say yes will they?
I don’t associate dinner with sex at all, , dinner is different , I enjoy it for it’s own sake. I don’t mind who pays , take in turns , pay half each whatever is comfortable for her
If I want sex I’ll tell them - many women want sex and not dinner!
I want sex and not dinner. If I'm full up the last thing I want is a session.
I'd be happy to curl up and cuddle
I’m the same, going out for dinner should not be a prelude to sex , or if it is maybe just some tapas , otherwise I’m napping by 10"
You and me both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nah.
i buy drinks or dinner because im wanting a drink or hungry!
i go on "dates" because i enjoy company doesnt always need to lead to sex. sometimes best it doesnt to let ot build up for the next meet. Or because the company was shit |
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Tom will usually pay as he prefers quality restaurants and fine dining. He is never taken for a mug though and his lovely nature has been mistaken in the past for granted. He once offered a looker at a crowded bar a drink and she said she knew the bar staff and accepted but suggested she ordered. She did. A treble gin and tonic ...
What happened next .... |
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"Tom will usually pay as he prefers quality restaurants and fine dining. He is never taken for a mug though and his lovely nature has been mistaken in the past for granted. He once offered a looker at a crowded bar a drink and she said she knew the bar staff and accepted but suggested she ordered. She did. A treble gin and tonic ...
What happened next ...."
A treble gin, what a liberty!
Tell us.... what happened next? |
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"Tom will usually pay as he prefers quality restaurants and fine dining. He is never taken for a mug though and his lovely nature has been mistaken in the past for granted. He once offered a looker at a crowded bar a drink and she said she knew the bar staff and accepted but suggested she ordered. She did. A treble gin and tonic ...
What happened next ....
A treble gin, what a liberty!
Tell us.... what happened next?"
He read the Daily Mail app on his phone? |
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"Tom will usually pay as he prefers quality restaurants and fine dining. He is never taken for a mug though and his lovely nature has been mistaken in the past for granted. He once offered a looker at a crowded bar a drink and she said she knew the bar staff and accepted but suggested she ordered. She did. A treble gin and tonic ...
What happened next ....
A treble gin, what a liberty!
Tell us.... what happened next?"
The barmaid explained that Tom actually owned the pub and would not be taken for a ride. True Story |
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By *amantMan
over a year ago
Alnmouth |
I always try and pay for the meal on the basis that if I'm doing it, somebody else doesn't need to worry about it. If we go for a drink afterwards, they can get the first round if they insist. It doesn't ensure sex, chances are the person you're with actually enjoys your company a lot. A film at home tends to be a quicker way of getting it from my experience but it's not my thing. Though I am on here so I'm not opposed to quick sex. |
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"If a guy buys dinner is the assumption that he expects a little something?
Ladies do you feel like that has or you ever has been the situation?"
For this reason I pay or at least go halves, I hate feeling as if someone has expectations that I somehow owe them something, especially sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy buys dinner is the assumption that he expects a little something?
Ladies do you feel like that has or you ever has been the situation?
For this reason I pay or at least go halves, I hate feeling as if someone has expectations that I somehow owe them something, especially sex."
The whole debate is presumptuous that all men have ulterior motives. Jesus we are all not that weird! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tom will usually pay as he prefers quality restaurants and fine dining. He is never taken for a mug though and his lovely nature has been mistaken in the past for granted. He once offered a looker at a crowded bar a drink and she said she knew the bar staff and accepted but suggested she ordered. She did. A treble gin and tonic ...
What happened next ...."
ET you’re from Essex jellied eels and a can of Rola Cola is fine dining. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never expect a man to pay the whole bill, I'd expect to pay half. I wouldn't expect anyone to assume I was paying the whole bill unless I said it would be my treat or words similar on inviting them out. I'd apply this to friends and any gender regardless.
In a fab situation, I'd most certainly expect to pay half as we are both there for the same reason whether that leads to more or not.
If a guy expected sex for buying dinner that's a red flag to me.
However some guys insist on paying and me insisting on paying half can upset them or cause a little friction if that's what they want to do. So I don't push it to that point.
I think expecting a man to pay is wrong and outdated.
I've heard women say that if they're not taken out their man won't get sex for a good while when they've been married to the man etc and I think that's just awful. Personally I don't understand that at all.
However if a guy is paying other costs like travel and hotel or a club I'd insist on at least paying for dinner or drinks etc where I could.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I meet someone socially via the Internet, it is never with any intention that any monetary transaction comes at a 'price' for either party
Maybe we should re-phrase a 'no strings' meet as a 'no purse strings' meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
Thanks I accept. What time will you pick me up and will it be a Sunday roast?"
But do you require sex afterward? Or will the cheeseboard do? |
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I just order separately, that way everyone pays for what they have. Halving a bill is almost always unfair, typically one will have had more expensive things than the other. That remains the same in a relationship for me - I don't want to mix my finances at all. The partner I do going-out things the most, we still each pay our own share after four years. Occasionally one will treat the other - this will be expressly stated by the one offering. This is how we both prefer it to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
Thanks I accept. What time will you pick me up and will it be a Sunday roast?
But do you require sex afterward? Or will the cheeseboard do? "
Er very difficult if I go for the former will you getting the bill? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just order separately, that way everyone pays for what they have. Halving a bill is almost always unfair, typically one will have had more expensive things than the other. That remains the same in a relationship for me - I don't want to mix my finances at all. The partner I do going-out things the most, we still each pay our own share after four years. Occasionally one will treat the other - this will be expressly stated by the one offering. This is how we both prefer it to be. "
Romance lives! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll always at least offer to go halves, and if I can’t afford that then I don’t go in the first place "
This!! I have no expectations of a guy to pay, in fact it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I’d expect to go Dutch. However, It’s caused issues for me in the past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
Thanks I accept. What time will you pick me up and will it be a Sunday roast?
But do you require sex afterward? Or will the cheeseboard do?
Er very difficult if I go for the former will you getting the bill?"
If I get the bill can we keep it to the 2 meals for a tenner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
Thanks I accept. What time will you pick me up and will it be a Sunday roast?
But do you require sex afterward? Or will the cheeseboard do?
Er very difficult if I go for the former will you getting the bill?
If I get the bill can we keep it to the 2 meals for a tenner? "
Realistically that’s a McDonald’s? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
Thanks I accept. What time will you pick me up and will it be a Sunday roast?
But do you require sex afterward? Or will the cheeseboard do?
Er very difficult if I go for the former will you getting the bill?
If I get the bill can we keep it to the 2 meals for a tenner?
Realistically that’s a McDonald’s?"
And that my friends is how my chatting up
And flirting normally works out nowadays!!… unlos  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
I'd say dinner but then there is not much chance if sex if I've eaten dinner"
I’ll crank the radiators up, you’ll soon be taking your clothes off. |
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"Would anyone like to go out for lunch?
I'd say dinner but then there is not much chance if sex if I've eaten dinner
I’ll crank the radiators up, you’ll soon be taking your clothes off. "
Something tells me that you have my number |
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