FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Tough time on fab
Tough time on fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You really need to try stand out. Imagine you went on auto trader and every ad just said 'I am a car' with a close up of the engine. That's basically how useful one line and a cock pic is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, I'd rather see a torso, or something suggestive for the photo. The username isn't bad.
Try describing a bit about yourself, what you like, what you've got to offer.
Other people will also say, join in the forum's, go to socials and clubs, get yourself known - that is also good advice.
Plus, read other people's profiles, men, women, couples, TV/TS. See what other people put, and find a balance that works for you.
Ultimately, it's your profile and should reflect you.
Good luck  |
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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago
Kingsbridge |
I think it’s a fantastic site. Of course it needs patience but that’s life in general. There is certainly something for everyone here if you are patient. Stick with it, you’ll get there eventually! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You really need to try stand out. Imagine you went on auto trader and every ad just said 'I am a car' with a close up of the engine. That's basically how useful one line and a cock pic is "
Best explanation ever!!! |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x"
get rid of the cock pic nobody wants to see it as your avatar and do better with your write up after all your profile is your advert here, you will still be a guy amongst thousands mind  |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x"
I can see a few reasons why! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a newbie single male so realise I’m a small drop in a large ocean but I’m relaxed about it, I’ve joined with limited expectations, and I’m going to enjoy trying.
 |
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"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x"
Think most folk have hit it on the head with the contents of yer profile mate. That being said, I have very little in the way of images down there, and a fairly legible text on my profile… Still get hee haw.
Quite simply, there’s too many arsehole guys on here that ruin it for the decent ones. What can be done about it I’ve no idea. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
No blurb in the bio, 1 cock pic, there is nothing about you, who you are what you are looking for, what you have to offer.you only get out what you put in, take a look at some of the other single guys profiles on here, get a feel for what to include in your bio, what sort of pics look good, something that shows who you are, your personality.
You are one of hundreds of single guys on here, your profile is your shop window, sell yourself
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here "
Having standards and taking pride in themselves means up their own arse?? So women should just shag a man coz they asked?? |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Don't say things like the guy above as that also won't help you
Add to that his profile is only 0.3% better
How to make friends and influence people eh
Maybe they could team up  "
Tag team
3 pics and a paragraph |
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"Don't say things like the guy above as that also won't help you
Add to that his profile is only 0.3% better
How to make friends and influence people eh
Maybe they could team up
Tag team
3 pics and a paragraph "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here
If up my own arse means not fucking every mediocre offering in my inbox, I'm quite happy up here  "
Did you mention arse young lady  |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
If you can't work out the answer yourself when looking over your own profile then the hard times will continue. If you read your own profile as another person what would make you think yes this person is interesting. |
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here
If up my own arse means not fucking every mediocre offering in my inbox, I'm quite happy up here
Did you mention arse young lady "
Oh Tracey.
When am I nor obsessing over either my arse or my throat these days? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here
Having standards and taking pride in themselves means up their own arse?? So women should just shag a man coz they asked?? "
Unfortunately, a lot of guys that join fab think exactly that, and it's been like that for years |
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By *hiversMan
over a year ago
Dinas Powys |
"If you can't work out the answer yourself when looking over your own profile then the hard times will continue. If you read your own profile as another person what would make you think yes this person is interesting."
This, the numbers aren't in your favour to begin with... need to put a bit of effort in to the profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I appreciate that there have been countless other threads on the same topic. However, they have asked for advice how to improve, not an assassination. No, there was not a lot to go on. I saw that. But rather than all the negativity, why not encourage, make suggestions, help each other out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here "
Arrest this man on a charge of fabicide.
It’s interesting to see how some men react when put into a situation where women hold most of the cards. They’re not used to it, and they really don’t react well to it. |
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I think "tough time in Fab" is what 99% of all members face. I've had plenty of people say I'm really good looking, i can get dates on dating sites, etc., yet Fab remains illusive. A couple of emails here and there but nothing materialises. You have to realise that there are literally hundreds of men for every single woman on here. You could be the perfect match for someone but there's another two hundred emails in her inbox.
Basically treat this place as a novelty only. It works for some, but the vast majority don't get anywhere. I learned very early on not to hinge my self-esteem and self-image on this place. |
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"I appreciate that there have been countless other threads on the same topic. However, they have asked for advice how to improve, not an assassination. No, there was not a lot to go on. I saw that. But rather than all the negativity, why not encourage, make suggestions, help each other out. "
Couldn’t agree more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think "tough time in Fab" is what 99% of all members face. I've had plenty of people say I'm really good looking, i can get dates on dating sites, etc., yet Fab remains illusive. A couple of emails here and there but nothing materialises. You have to realise that there are literally hundreds of men for every single woman on here. You could be the perfect match for someone but there's another two hundred emails in her inbox.
Basically treat this place as a novelty only. It works for some, but the vast majority don't get anywhere. I learned very early on not to hinge my self-esteem and self-image on this place."
Maybe distance is not playing in your favour either or simply you're not looking for the same other people is. I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer
That said, use fab to your advantage for sure, but don't let it get to you (I have and it's no fun) |
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"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x
I can see a few reasons why!"
Ok, so what I doing wrong? |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x
Think most folk have hit it on the head with the contents of yer profile mate. That being said, I have very little in the way of images down there, and a fairly legible text on my profile… Still get hee haw.
Quite simply, there’s too many arsehole guys on here that ruin it for the decent ones. What can be done about it I’ve no idea. "
I object to being called an arsehole, I'm a cock  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x"
My skill is learning that I cannot please others, I can only please myself.
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think we have upset him?"
I hope not. Hopefully OP's profile is just temporarily down for maintenance and he'll come back and wow us all! I get a good vibe from his post, I think he seems alright, just needs a bit of profile vajazzling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient you’ll find someone nice lot of women up there own arse on here
And some *lovely* guys, too "
Still to find one, red 
All I’ve found so far are liars and players |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
" I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer. "
That's a nice thing to say, but genuine question, why would you go for a coffee with him if he was closer? What's the attraction?
I'm not trying to pick an argument, it's meant as a real discussion.
Cheers,
Gbat |
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Fab is just fab. You tend to get rewarded for the amount of effort that you put in, as part of the larger represented demographic on the site you have to put in more effort.
Eventually this may lead to diminishing returns in that effort does not equal reward.
I no longer actively engage with others and just have an active profile with some pics up, I have grown very conscious of the detrimental effect that fab can have on a single man’s mental health and so I only come online when I get an email ping from fab or if I want to do a bit of perving.
There are more nuanced alternatives out there now, which I am proving to be more successful on, fab feels a little lack-lustre these days, there are things that could be done to reinvigorate it, and who knows maybe change will come. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer.
That's a nice thing to say, but genuine question, why would you go for a coffee with him if he was closer? What's the attraction?
I'm not trying to pick an argument, it's meant as a real discussion.
Cheers,
Gbat "
I haven't said there is attraction, have I? He seems like a mature guy, participates in the forums in a respectful manner and, overall, he doesn't seem desperate.
A coffee is a coffee, nothing else involved or expected. |
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"I think "tough time in Fab" is what 99% of all members face. I've had plenty of people say I'm really good looking, i can get dates on dating sites, etc., yet Fab remains illusive. A couple of emails here and there but nothing materialises. You have to realise that there are literally hundreds of men for every single woman on here. You could be the perfect match for someone but there's another two hundred emails in her inbox.
Basically treat this place as a novelty only. It works for some, but the vast majority don't get anywhere. I learned very early on not to hinge my self-esteem and self-image on this place.
Maybe distance is not playing in your favour either or simply you're not looking for the same other people is. I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer
That said, use fab to your advantage for sure, but don't let it get to you (I have and it's no fun) "
The prude women of Sussex are no fun.  I've thought of going to one of the socials but I tend to end up having my kids those weekends. Thank you though. You're not the first to say distance is an issue. Just the way it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite my being relentlessly entertaining, I find fab a grind sometimes (often). But I don’t complain about it. Does it help? Genuine Q. Does anyone find it leads to a better fabsperience? |
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" I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer.
That's a nice thing to say, but genuine question, why would you go for a coffee with him if he was closer? What's the attraction?
I'm not trying to pick an argument, it's meant as a real discussion.
Cheers,
Gbat
I haven't said there is attraction, have I? He seems like a mature guy, participates in the forums in a respectful manner and, overall, he doesn't seem desperate.
A coffee is a coffee, nothing else involved or expected."
Thank you. :-x
And a coffee is a coffee, nothing else expected. And yes, I'm not desperate, actually even said no to someone recently as I didn't think I could meet their criteria, which was just incompatible with my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is just fab. You tend to get rewarded for the amount of effort that you put in, as part of the larger represented demographic on the site you have to put in more effort.
Eventually this may lead to diminishing returns in that effort does not equal reward.
I no longer actively engage with others and just have an active profile with some pics up, I have grown very conscious of the detrimental effect that fab can have on a single man’s mental health and so I only come online when I get an email ping from fab or if I want to do a bit of perving.
There are more nuanced alternatives out there now, which I am proving to be more successful on, fab feels a little lack-lustre these days, there are things that could be done to reinvigorate it, and who knows maybe change will come. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer.
That's a nice thing to say, but genuine question, why would you go for a coffee with him if he was closer? What's the attraction?
I'm not trying to pick an argument, it's meant as a real discussion.
Cheers,
Gbat
I haven't said there is attraction, have I? He seems like a mature guy, participates in the forums in a respectful manner and, overall, he doesn't seem desperate.
A coffee is a coffee, nothing else involved or expected.
Thank you. :-x
And a coffee is a coffee, nothing else expected. And yes, I'm not desperate, actually even said no to someone recently as I didn't think I could meet their criteria, which was just incompatible with my life. "
See? Exactly what I mean x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First of all be visual but not too visual, if you want torso or cock shots on your profile and face photos hidden then that’s ok just have torso as profile photo and then make your profile about you, be positive and funny, don’t take it all too serious, remember no one owes you anything so if want their time you have to earn it…. There I said something philosophical, do I get a badge |
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It's a tough gig OP and you definitely need a thick skin to put up with the presumed lack of interest, especially when it seems others around you are doing fine.
Usually a good bio is a place to start. What you're looking for, when you're usually free, possible fantasies you might want to play out and then you can find like-minded people from there. Some good pictures would also help. Nothing too graphic, but thighs, torso, bum and also use props that can help show your personality. Once those things are in place, everything else is out of your control and you can only hope the people who like your profile get in touch as it's much easier for your mental health as opposed to messaging countless profiles and getting no replies.
Good luck OP, and ignore the negative comments. Some people can forget how tough this place is and it makes them jaded |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So wait I'm a little confused...sorry I'm also new...so in summary... do I post more or fewer grotesque, unfiltered, poorly lit pictures of my unwashed erect penis?
Also foreskin lint: in or out this season?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can offer a course on how to excel at fab.
Can I have your Word on that? Hopefully you can provide a good Outlook. The course better not be OneNote"
You'll just have to Power past that Point of the course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm only here to perv at photos, sod contacting anyone, my advice to OP is get down the pub, take a dog for a walk in the park wander round a supermarket, try fb dating or any dating site. Just my 2 cents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really not hit the ground at all on here, seem to get myself so far occasionally and then can’t get anything to materialise…maybe I’m just not what people are after true! But I know I am pretty terrible at online blurbs etc! So I know I’m not exactly selling myself very well on my profile but I’d love for a bit of help, if anyone has a skill for these sort of things lol x"
Unhide profile, that helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can offer a course on how to excel at fab.
Can I have your Word on that? Hopefully you can provide a good Outlook. The course better not be OneNote"
For you, I shall Excel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So wait I'm a little confused...sorry I'm also new...so in summary... do I post more or fewer grotesque, unfiltered, poorly lit pictures of my unwashed erect penis?
Also foreskin lint: in or out this season?
"
Hope you don't mind me using you as an example, but I personally think you've cracked it so it's a teaching moment !
Jokey forum comment + good profile pic makes you look at the profile...
Funny status = still interested...
Nice, varied pics so you get a good feel for what they look like...
Natural sounding text...
Quite possibly will get a message or at least a wink
Nice work !
Ps I'm pretending I didn't see the disclaimer. Also the irony of an invisible person like me critiquing anyone's profile, good or bad, isn't lost on me before anyone else points it out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you for the helpful suggestions, I really appreciate them.
And the non-helpful ones too, they made me smile.
(See what I did there? It’s called irony) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So wait I'm a little confused...sorry I'm also new...so in summary... do I post more or fewer grotesque, unfiltered, poorly lit pictures of my unwashed erect penis?
Also foreskin lint: in or out this season?
Hope you don't mind me using you as an example, but I personally think you've cracked it so it's a teaching moment !
Jokey forum comment + good profile pic makes you look at the profile...
Funny status = still interested...
Nice, varied pics so you get a good feel for what they look like...
Natural sounding text...
Quite possibly will get a message or at least a wink
Nice work !
Ps I'm pretending I didn't see the disclaimer. Also the irony of an invisible person like me critiquing anyone's profile, good or bad, isn't lost on me before anyone else points it out! "
Aww thank you. This is incredibly kind and more than a little generous of you.
Now if you would be amso kind as to share your thoughts with every other woman on this site I'd be most grateful! Mwah!! |
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profile avatar blank and profile hidden
you obviously haven't tried hard enough to meet the basic minimum standards of every other guy here so no wonder you aren't getting any meets!!!
computer says NO |
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I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife... |
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife..."
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is. |
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is."
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right? |
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is.
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?"
The difference is that on here many of the things people are doing wrong are excellent filters and offering specific advice only gives them a way around those filters.
I'd happily offer advice in the workplace especially if asked but not if that advice was going to give that person credit for achieving something by taking shortcuts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You really need to try stand out. Imagine you went on auto trader and every ad just said 'I am a car' with a close up of the engine. That's basically how useful one line and a cock pic is "
No ….. but also yes!!
No, because we are not cars…. But that’s the best discription of peoples profiles here. There many that can display character through photos one words, and those that haven’t yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is.
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?"
You can't compare the two, a specific task in workplace will have a right way of doing it. There's isn't a right way of doing fab.
Also, the profile, the bio, the pictures, it's YOU. No-one else knows you like you.
You can't oh do XYZ and you'll guarantee success.
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"You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?"
This isn't the workplace, this isn't a colleague.
It's also very subjective. What I enjoy seeing in a profile is not what the next person enjoys.
The responses mostly point out the things that are pretty universally disliked. Ie only 2 poorly shot dick pics, and no effort to actually get across who they are, what they want and what they actually offer. Yes in short hand, because it should be blatantly obvious. |
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is.
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
The difference is that on here many of the things people are doing wrong are excellent filters and offering specific advice only gives them a way around those filters.
I'd happily offer advice in the workplace especially if asked but not if that advice was going to give that person credit for achieving something by taking shortcuts."
But surely even high level advice such as highlighting his best qualities in his photos and bio isn't getting around filters, it's to help put his best foot forward to meet people he might want to meet and who want to meet him. The profile gets his foot in the door and the rest is up to him. The work analogy makes no sense because if they get credit taking shortcuts, then it's a problem with your advice, not with them. |
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is.
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
You can't compare the two, a specific task in workplace will have a right way of doing it. There's isn't a right way of doing fab.
Also, the profile, the bio, the pictures, it's YOU. No-one else knows you like you.
You can't oh do XYZ and you'll guarantee success.
"
You're right that it won't guarantee success and there is no right way of doing Fab. But if that's the case, then there's no wrong way either which makes everyone saying what's wrong with his profile utterly pointless. You can't have it both ways which is why I mentioned giving an indication of what people might like and never said it would guarantee meets for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is.
You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
You can't compare the two, a specific task in workplace will have a right way of doing it. There's isn't a right way of doing fab.
Also, the profile, the bio, the pictures, it's YOU. No-one else knows you like you.
You can't oh do XYZ and you'll guarantee success.
You're right that it won't guarantee success and there is no right way of doing Fab. But if that's the case, then there's no wrong way either which makes everyone saying what's wrong with his profile utterly pointless. You can't have it both ways which is why I mentioned giving an indication of what people might like and never said it would guarantee meets for him. "
Hey I offered my course. I did my bit. |
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"You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
This isn't the workplace, this isn't a colleague.
It's also very subjective. What I enjoy seeing in a profile is not what the next person enjoys.
The responses mostly point out the things that are pretty universally disliked. Ie only 2 poorly shot dick pics, and no effort to actually get across who they are, what they want and what they actually offer. Yes in short hand, because it should be blatantly obvious."
So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm seeing a lot of comments telling the OP why his profile is terrible but a serious lack of genuine comments advising him how to improve it. I'm pretty sure he said he knows his profile isn't great but guess that doesn't stop some twisting the knife...
Telling someone where they're going wrong should be enough. If they can't work out how to fix it from that information and need someone to spell our every detail then whatever they did end up with would just be someone else's profile and not remotely indicative of who OP is."
Precisely.
I once offered up some advice to someone who was struggling with their profile and made the suggestion of looking at a few other male profiles to get an idea of what might and might not work and to get a feel to what makes a good profile.
Checked back on that thread a few days later and just happened to glance at the guys profile to see if he'd taken any advice on board only to discover that he had literally copied my profile text word for word and, what made it obvious to anybody looking at it was that I'd made some comments in my profile about certain pictures but this guy hadn't uploaded any.
This is perhaps just one extreme example, but the point being made above is that there's only so much guidance you can give someone and you can get to a point of doing their work for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey I offered my course. I did my bit.
He hid his profile - that'll work for sure now."
He probably hid his profile because the vast majority of comments he got back were negative, rarely anything constructive.
|
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"So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit""
Honestly? Because the effort someone puts in generally mirrors the effort they get back.
One line of text and zero effort before asking someone else to do the work for them? Its gonna be a pretty short response from me.
If you can't work out how to communicate with people via text and images then it's unlikely that any amount of help with the profile would make the direct communications any more interesting. |
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" I wouldn't mind going for a coffee if you were closer.
That's a nice thing to say, but genuine question, why would you go for a coffee with him if he was closer? What's the attraction?
I'm not trying to pick an argument, it's meant as a real discussion.
Cheers,
Gbat
I haven't said there is attraction, have I? He seems like a mature guy, participates in the forums in a respectful manner and, overall, he doesn't seem desperate.
A coffee is a coffee, nothing else involved or expected."
Damn, I don't drink coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit"
Honestly? Because the effort someone puts in generally mirrors the effort they get back.
One line of text and zero effort before asking someone else to do the work for them? Its gonna be a pretty short response from me.
If you can't work out how to communicate with people via text and images then it's unlikely that any amount of help with the profile would make the direct communications any more interesting."
Which I would agree with, except for the fact that he was genuinely asking for pointers, trying to better his profile. That's not being lazy, that's asking for help and wanting to do better.
|
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"So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit"
Honestly? Because the effort someone puts in generally mirrors the effort they get back.
One line of text and zero effort before asking someone else to do the work for them? Its gonna be a pretty short response from me.
If you can't work out how to communicate with people via text and images then it's unlikely that any amount of help with the profile would make the direct communications any more interesting."
To be fair, he did mention he wasn't very good at writing out a blurb and I can see where he's coming from. How do you even begin to write about yourself in a concise way that comes across well. Maybe I'm too invested in this because when I started, I took shit pictures and had an awful bio. It was only through reading the forums that it helped me understand what I need to put across so not really a fan of the negativity when others ask the same. |
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"You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
This isn't the workplace, this isn't a colleague.
It's also very subjective. What I enjoy seeing in a profile is not what the next person enjoys.
The responses mostly point out the things that are pretty universally disliked. Ie only 2 poorly shot dick pics, and no effort to actually get across who they are, what they want and what they actually offer. Yes in short hand, because it should be blatantly obvious.
So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit""
Because laziness goes way beyond 1 line bios.
From experience it extends to taking people's pics and bios (3 times so far including by a long time forumite) and being too lazy to even take my name off the pics.
Obviously my thoughts on offering advice will have been influenced by that but in general many women over the years have spoken on here about being catfished by people behind profiles who couldn't maintain the persona other peoples advice had created for them. |
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"You can also give high level advice without telling them step by step how to do it. Saying "your bio is awful" or "your pictures are terrible" doesn't really give much in the way of helping them fix it. Imagine in the workplace someone was doing something wrong, would you just tell them what they were doing wrong without any guidance of how to do it right?
This isn't the workplace, this isn't a colleague.
It's also very subjective. What I enjoy seeing in a profile is not what the next person enjoys.
The responses mostly point out the things that are pretty universally disliked. Ie only 2 poorly shot dick pics, and no effort to actually get across who they are, what they want and what they actually offer. Yes in short hand, because it should be blatantly obvious.
So why is it not right to point out things that are apparently universally liked to help him along the way? Such as mentioning what he's into, what he's looking for etc instead of doing the lazy "1 line = shit"
Because laziness goes way beyond 1 line bios.
From experience it extends to taking people's pics and bios (3 times so far including by a long time forumite) and being too lazy to even take my name off the pics.
Obviously my thoughts on offering advice will have been influenced by that but in general many women over the years have spoken on here about being catfished by people behind profiles who couldn't maintain the persona other peoples advice had created for them. "
I meant the people saying it were lazy... |
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"To be fair, he did mention he wasn't very good at writing out a blurb and I can see where he's coming from. How do you even begin to write about yourself in a concise way that comes across well. Maybe I'm too invested in this because when I started, I took shit pictures and had an awful bio. It was only through reading the forums that it helped me understand what I need to put across so not really a fan of the negativity when others ask the same."
By writing something is a good start. I'd happily help edit something for someone, but I'm not doing it completely from scratch when there isn't even the slightest bit of actual content provided to include.
There are a thousand guides online to writing such things, and a thousand threads of people asking for and getting advice even if they only look on fab.
I appreciate the being overdefensive about things, I'm guilty of that myself sometimes. I don't feel my response was particularly negative, just short. I can't give advice if there's no information available to give advice on. |
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"By writing something is a good start. I'd happily help edit something for someone, but I'm not doing it completely from scratch when there isn't even the slightest bit of actual content provided to include.
There are a thousand guides online to writing such things, and a thousand threads of people asking for and getting advice even if they only look on fab.
I appreciate the being overdefensive about things, I'm guilty of that myself sometimes. I don't feel my response was particularly negative, just short. I can't give advice if there's no information available to give advice on."
Yeah, but saying "write something good" isn't really helpful either. Surely saying "write what you're looking for on Fab or what qualities you have that people might like" is better than saying his bio is crap. There's a happy medium between being short and doing everything for them |
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"Yeah, but saying "write something good" isn't really helpful either. Surely saying "write what you're looking for on Fab or what qualities you have that people might like" is better than saying his bio is crap. There's a happy medium between being short and doing everything for them"
I said write something. Not write something good. Nor did I call anything crap. |
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"Yeah, but saying "write something good" isn't really helpful either. Surely saying "write what you're looking for on Fab or what qualities you have that people might like" is better than saying his bio is crap. There's a happy medium between being short and doing everything for them
I said write something. Not write something good. Nor did I call anything crap."
Sorry, I mis-read your first sentence. And you may not have, but a lot of people above have essentially said as much |
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"Sorry, I mis-read your first sentence. And you may not have, but a lot of people above have essentially said as much"
Essentially they have. Because, essentially, that's what it is. Some people prefer more sugarcoating but it is what it is.
Had there been any actual data provided to work from, things may have been different. As it is we know absolutely nothing about OP and what they want, offer, or who they are beyond a picture of a penis. I can't tell them what's good to highlight or how to word something better if they haven't even bothered to provide something to work from. |
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By *empusMan
over a year ago
Poole |
Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple? |
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"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?"
7 weeks is honestly nothing on here, I had my first meet with a couple after a few months but I was one of the lucky ones |
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By *empusMan
over a year ago
Poole |
"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?
7 weeks is honestly nothing on here, I had my first meet with a couple after a few months but I was one of the lucky ones "
Good to hear. Thanks |
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"Sorry, I mis-read your first sentence. And you may not have, but a lot of people above have essentially said as much
Essentially they have. Because, essentially, that's what it is. Some people prefer more sugarcoating but it is what it is.
Had there been any actual data provided to work from, things may have been different. As it is we know absolutely nothing about OP and what they want, offer, or who they are beyond a picture of a penis. I can't tell them what's good to highlight or how to word something better if they haven't even bothered to provide something to work from."
So you can say what people universally dislike but if it was anything positive, you can only speak from your own preferences? Seems a bit like picking and choosing |
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"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?
7 weeks is honestly nothing on here, I had my first meet with a couple after a few months but I was one of the lucky ones
Good to hear. Thanks"
Use the forums, be yourself and go to social events. Also avoid posting negative status updates or being twatish towards people, especially on the forums.
Just think of this like any other social media and don't expect anything. |
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"So you can say what people universally dislike but if it was anything positive, you can only speak from your own preferences? Seems a bit like picking and choosing"
Is there an issue with picking and choosing?
And yes. Without any idea of what OP actually has to offer there is no advice to give beyond do more from the point they are at. |
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"So you can say what people universally dislike but if it was anything positive, you can only speak from your own preferences? Seems a bit like picking and choosing
Is there an issue with picking and choosing?
And yes. Without any idea of what OP actually has to offer there is no advice to give beyond do more from the point they are at."
There is when you only do it to suit your own narrative.
And do more, ok cool. I think I'm done with this discussion. Not gonna specify why though |
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"So you can say what people universally dislike but if it was anything positive, you can only speak from your own preferences? Seems a bit like picking and choosing
Is there an issue with picking and choosing?
And yes. Without any idea of what OP actually has to offer there is no advice to give beyond do more from the point they are at.
There is when you only do it to suit your own narrative.
And do more, ok cool. I think I'm done with this discussion. Not gonna specify why though "
Most people do pick and choose based on what suits them best
Cool beans. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You really need to try stand out. Imagine you went on auto trader and every ad just said 'I am a car' with a close up of the engine. That's basically how useful one line and a cock pic is "
Brilliant! Really made me laugh.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was the above about how op can get laid? If yes send me the TLDR please and thanks "
What is TLDR?
If I learn anything from this discussion, I want it to be this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?"
When I first started using fab, 10 years ago, on average, a single guy could wait six months to get a first meet, as it was for me. Now, with an even higher ratio of meb to women, expect that to have extended to about a year |
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By *empusMan
over a year ago
Poole |
"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?
When I first started using fab, 10 years ago, on average, a single guy could wait six months to get a first meet, as it was for me. Now, with an even higher ratio of meb to women, expect that to have extended to about a year"
Thanks for feedback. 6 months is a lot longer than I was expecting, but a year... Wow! Joined shortly after a female friend of mine, she is having multiple meets a week now. Think I need to go old school again and not rely on this online stuff. Cheers : ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?
When I first started using fab, 10 years ago, on average, a single guy could wait six months to get a first meet, as it was for me. Now, with an even higher ratio of meb to women, expect that to have extended to about a year
Thanks for feedback. 6 months is a lot longer than I was expecting, but a year... Wow! Joined shortly after a female friend of mine, she is having multiple meets a week now. Think I need to go old school again and not rely on this online stuff. Cheers : )"
Of course she does. Men outnumber women by around 100 to 1 so she can pick and choose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Was the above about how op can get laid? If yes send me the TLDR please and thanks "
The secret formula for getting laid is :
1)being in the right place
2)at the right time
2)being attractive to the person
3)having some kind of chemistry
4)having free time at the same time
5)when the moon is facing Venus...
Easy! |
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"You really need to try stand out. Imagine you went on auto trader and every ad just said 'I am a car' with a close up of the engine. That's basically how useful one line and a cock pic is "
This is one of the best fab analogies we've seen yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Was the above about how op can get laid? If yes send me the TLDR please and thanks
What is TLDR?
If I learn anything from this discussion, I want it to be this.
Too
Long
Didn't
Read"
Thank you. |
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"Same issue here. Great comments so far, thank you. Very open to feedback on improving my profile too if anyone is in the mood x
7 weeks on fab and starting to feel like I am not wanted here. How long did any of you single guys have to wait for first meet with a woman/couple?
When I first started using fab, 10 years ago, on average, a single guy could wait six months to get a first meet, as it was for me. Now, with an even higher ratio of meb to women, expect that to have extended to about a year
Thanks for feedback. 6 months is a lot longer than I was expecting, but a year... Wow! Joined shortly after a female friend of mine, she is having multiple meets a week now. Think I need to go old school again and not rely on this online stuff. Cheers : )"
Oh yes; it's very easy to get meets in Fab if you have a vagina |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Was the above about how op can get laid? If yes send me the TLDR please and thanks
The secret formula for getting laid is :
1)being in the right place
2)at the right time
2)being attractive to the person
3)having some kind of chemistry
4)having free time at the same time
5)when the moon is facing Venus...
Easy! "
exactly its just luck sometimes and what one person doesn't like another likes  |
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"Was the above about how op can get laid? If yes send me the TLDR please and thanks
The secret formula for getting laid is :
1)being in the right place
2)at the right time
2)being attractive to the person
3)having some kind of chemistry
4)having free time at the same time
5)when the moon is facing Venus...
Easy! "
|
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