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To all those who are
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also dating on normal dating apps (or have done in the past), do you have a policy on how and when you talk about your Fab lifestyle (if at all)?
In the past I have always kept my two lives completely separate. As soon as a dating relationship became sexual I have hidden my fab profile and not played with anyone except my partner.
I’m curious to know whether anyone has maintained fab (no judgment) and actually disclosed it to their new partner. How did it go?
Have you ever been recognised from either app?
I actually dated someone for a couple of months who disclosed very quickly she was sexually voracious. I had an amazing time with her but I moved away. Turns out she then created a couples profile with her new guy!! I wish I’d thought to discuss it with her. |
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I have a tinder but barely use it.
I'm very open about who I am and what I want. If we've made it to meeting in person they already know I'm solo poly and enjoy the things I do. No point pretending to be something I'm not. |
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"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys. "
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one."
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose |
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"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose "
That's a shame. If somebody had told me in the days when I was dating I'd have been quite interested in how that all came about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose "
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no. |
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"also dating on normal dating apps (or have done in the past), do you have a policy on how and when you talk about your Fab lifestyle (if at all)?
In the past I have always kept my two lives completely separate. As soon as a dating relationship became sexual I have hidden my fab profile and not played with anyone except my partner.
I’m curious to know whether anyone has maintained fab (no judgment) and actually disclosed it to their new partner. How did it go?
Have you ever been recognised from either app?
I actually dated someone for a couple of months who disclosed very quickly she was sexually voracious. I had an amazing time with her but I moved away. Turns out she then created a couples profile with her new guy!! I wish I’d thought to discuss it with her."
My neurodivergent brain cannot handle secrets, lies and truth withholding that are intentional. I've been told I'm too honest by many people.
For example. I'm not going to tell my partner all of my sexual experiences upfront but if they ask I will tell them even if it makes them jealous or insecure. It's not my job to fix their insecurity. Just as they can't fix my insecurity.
I've been single for 9 years and part of that I've always been on dating apps saying I'm solo polyamorous.
I've spent too many years, pretending, masking, suppressing, and living for other people. It's time now to live for myself. If other people want to come along for the ride, great. If they don't want to come along, that's ok too. Sad but ok.
I don't have any regrets luckily and I do get recognised because my face is all over the internet. I prefer to live a sex-positive lifestyle but I understand for a lot of people they get the thrill from it being taboo, escapism and some sort of dirty little secret.
I unfortunately (and fortunately?) am not one of those people who can look at sex in a disconnect from my normal life. I'm practically a hippie, wanting free love ( and good sex) for all. Basically have turned in the Black Gwenyth Paltrow amongst my peers. Lol! |
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"I have a tinder but barely use it.
I'm very open about who I am and what I want. If we've made it to meeting in person they already know I'm solo poly and enjoy the things I do. No point pretending to be something I'm not."
Hear! Hear! to Solo Poly has been doing it for 9 years and swinging is right up my street for sharing a connection with multiple people.
So proud of my Tribe. Lol! but I belong to many Tribes as a Maverick should. |
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"I don't date in the conventional way I would make it clear I'm not into exclusively with anyone I met x"
Knowing what I know about myself, the type of man I'd be exclusive with is a rare commodity so I need to get on with the rest of my life as best I can and not wait around for him to turn up. Lol! |
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"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys. "
I love separating the wheat from the chafe.
Wah too much chafe these days. Lol! |
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"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose "
anyone who says those things to you..comes under the following descriptions:
1. Calling a woman a slag - misogynist
2. Saying that they don't share: Selfish and possibly unkind
3. Worried that someone else will fuck you better: insecure.
None of these types of descriptions of people do I ever want to be in any kind of relationship ( romantic or platonic) ever again.
I don't need their kind of negativity directed at me or other people. |
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"
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no."
Please explain what you mean by "a relationship type of person"
In my head, I understand that life partnerships living together, LAT, and marriages on Fab are relationships. or is FAB relationships a special category?
I'm not sure if a monogamous relationship is no different from a non-monogamous relationship apart from not having an emotional/sexual/romantic connection with another person. That's why people can have emotional affairs I guess?.. the ethical bit comes in about whether you lie, betray and keep the truth and secrets from your relationship partner. |
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"To all those who are about to date, we salute you. "
I date....it's called a social but it could turn into a sexual. Lol! I'm so happy that I've learnt to live my life solo.
Knowing what I know about myself now, there's a reason why I can't partner with people and that's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no."
Yeah I totally get this perspective
Some of the comments I’ve had have made it tempting for me to not say anything |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose
anyone who says those things to you..comes under the following descriptions:
1. Calling a woman a slag - misogynist
2. Saying that they don't share: Selfish and possibly unkind
3. Worried that someone else will fuck you better: insecure.
None of these types of descriptions of people do I ever want to be in any kind of relationship ( romantic or platonic) ever again.
I don't need their kind of negativity directed at me or other people."
You are my new hero |
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"also dating on normal dating apps (or have done in the past), do you have a policy on how and when you talk about your Fab lifestyle (if at all)?
In the past I have always kept my two lives completely separate. As soon as a dating relationship became sexual I have hidden my fab profile and not played with anyone except my partner.
I’m curious to know whether anyone has maintained fab (no judgment) and actually disclosed it to their new partner. How did it go?
Have you ever been recognised from either app?
I actually dated someone for a couple of months who disclosed very quickly she was sexually voracious. I had an amazing time with her but I moved away. Turns out she then created a couples profile with her new guy!! I wish I’d thought to discuss it with her.
My neurodivergent brain cannot handle secrets, lies and truth withholding that are intentional. I've been told I'm too honest by many people.
For example. I'm not going to tell my partner all of my sexual experiences upfront but if they ask I will tell them even if it makes them jealous or insecure. It's not my job to fix their insecurity. Just as they can't fix my insecurity.
I've been single for 9 years and part of that I've always been on dating apps saying I'm solo polyamorous.
I've spent too many years, pretending, masking, suppressing, and living for other people. It's time now to live for myself. If other people want to come along for the ride, great. If they don't want to come along, that's ok too. Sad but ok.
I don't have any regrets luckily and I do get recognised because my face is all over the internet. I prefer to live a sex-positive lifestyle but I understand for a lot of people they get the thrill from it being taboo, escapism and some sort of dirty little secret.
I unfortunately (and fortunately?) am not one of those people who can look at sex in a disconnect from my normal life. I'm practically a hippie, wanting free love ( and good sex) for all. Basically have turned in the Black Gwenyth Paltrow amongst my peers. Lol!"
Great for you, Maverick!! I enjoyed reading this and I’m so pleased you have found your groove and it’s working for you.
I think that’s the big secret to life - you do you and if people want in they’re welcome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no.
Please explain what you mean by "a relationship type of person"
In my head, I understand that life partnerships living together, LAT, and marriages on Fab are relationships. or is FAB relationships a special category?
I'm not sure if a monogamous relationship is no different from a non-monogamous relationship apart from not having an emotional/sexual/romantic connection with another person. That's why people can have emotional affairs I guess?.. the ethical bit comes in about whether you lie, betray and keep the truth and secrets from your relationship partner."
What is LAT?
Relationship type people I mean those I'd consider a proper romantic relationship with. Whatever that means. Monogamous likely.
FWB types can still have an emotional connection with the sex.
I wouldn't have a relationship with someone off Fab because I wouldn't trust them. That's on me, not them. |
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"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no."
Same here! If I feel the ‘normal’ relationship is going well I pause from fab.
I see so many great couples in the forums that have either met on fab or their relationship evolved to include swinging. I don’t doubt it takes a lot of work, conversation, trust and security; but I would cherish that if I had it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tell them straight away, always.
More often than not, it doesn’t go down very well at all.
Really separates the men from the boys.
This doesn’t surprise me! What’s the worst reaction you’ve had?
I’ve always figured it would be taken worse by women than men, purely because I’d expect more men to find it a turn on, but I’m happy to be shouted down on that one.
It’s usually something along the lines of slag or I don’t share
Just worried someone else could fuck me better I suppose
This is why I never tell a relationship type of person about Fab.
FWB types I only tell them if I can tell they'd be up for Fab fun. Otherwise hell no.
Yeah I totally get this perspective
Some of the comments I’ve had have made it tempting for me to not say anything "
I've also found that relationship types are more likely to slag me off to other people for 'being a slag' or not being straight. My FWB are more discreet for various reasons.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Always kept the 2 separate, my ex had seen me here before we met and when we knew we were going to be together we both deleted our profiles.
Newly single again and not dating or on dating sites at the moment but any men I meet for a date for a potential relationship I view differently to a sex meet.
I have no problem with monogamy, infact that's always my goal, love and monogamy.
Fab is for the in-between stages of my love life |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
I don't date. Tried it and it wasn't for me. I have a Tinder account that I use when I'm away from London but I'm totally honest about my lifestyle and it is surprising how many people that I have matched with on Tinder are also on Fab, or that other site beginning with F |
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"Always kept the 2 separate, my ex had seen me here before we met and when we knew we were going to be together we both deleted our profiles.
Newly single again and not dating or on dating sites at the moment but any men I meet for a date for a potential relationship I view differently to a sex meet.
I have no problem with monogamy, infact that's always my goal, love and monogamy.
Fab is for the in-between stages of my love life "
Same here. I love my time on fab but, given a choice, I’d gladly give it up for the right person and a monogamous relationship. |
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