I see often that people are not looking for people in their 20s because they are seen as less mature to the swinging environment compared to someone who may be in their 40s.
I've been in the scene 2 years nearly now and prefer to meet couples. I have definitely matured a lot through experience rather than my age.
So I ask, does age matter so much for maturity of them joining or does it moreso go of how long that person has been in the lifestyle? (This is outside age preferences due to similar ages to your children, etc). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see often that people are not looking for people in their 20s because they are seen as less mature to the swinging environment compared to someone who may be in their 40s.
I've been in the scene 2 years nearly now and prefer to meet couples. I have definitely matured a lot through experience rather than my age.
So I ask, does age matter so much for maturity of them joining or does it moreso go of how long that person has been in the lifestyle? (This is outside age preferences due to similar ages to your children, etc)."
I couldn't separate the age thing from the rest of it. No matter how mature the person might be, if they're a similar age to my kids (they used to be kids but they aren't anymore and this makes me feel old) then I'd have a very difficult time in rationalising a meet with them in my head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I ask, does age matter so much for maturity of them joining or does it moreso go of how long that person has been in the lifestyle? (This is outside age preferences due to similar ages to your children, etc)."
I think it's realism - I've had lovers 10-15 years younger than me and 10-15 years older than me, but much younger than that and it seems unrealistic whilst much older and I might be accused of necro...  |
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I tend to prefer people older than myself.
There are exceptions for sure, but I always feel like people don't finish becoming people until at least 25 for women, nearer 30 for men, and I'd rather stick to people I'm more likely to have long term compatibility with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age isn’t this issue for me. (It is a number…to a point).
Maturity helps, but being on the same level is more important to me. And that can be any age, eg, I like to be a little immature sometimes, and so do some older people.
But in answer to your question, I don’t search by age, I just hope I get to like someone enough to want to meet them, I’d then check their age, sometimes it’s a surprise.   |
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"I see often that people are not looking for people in their 20s because they are seen as less mature to the swinging environment compared to someone who may be in their 40s.
I've been in the scene 2 years nearly now and prefer to meet couples. I have definitely matured a lot through experience rather than my age.
So I ask, does age matter so much for maturity of them joining or does it moreso go of how long that person has been in the lifestyle? (This is outside age preferences due to similar ages to your children, etc).
I couldn't separate the age thing from the rest of it. No matter how mature the person might be, if they're a similar age to my kids (they used to be kids but they aren't anymore and this makes me feel old) then I'd have a very difficult time in rationalising a meet with them in my head "
I completely get that, I'd never want someone to feel that when meeting me. I have had the opposite with a much older gentleman so I understand completely. |
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"I tend to prefer people older than myself.
There are exceptions for sure, but I always feel like people don't finish becoming people until at least 25 for women, nearer 30 for men, and I'd rather stick to people I'm more likely to have long term compatibility with."
So it's more likely to develop into more with someone nearer your preferred age group. Is that due to having similar things in common or more just from your experience that people older than 20s are more likely to want the social side? |
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Maturity is such a varied term we think. What's mature behaviour in our eyes might not meet the threshold for someone else....
We think it's more a case of not blanket banning people by age and more judging them on their interactions with us. We've seen many a 20 year old that actually turns out to be more mature than a 40 year old! |
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Thanks for your responses everyone, I always go for those who seem more invested and understanding of the social side, so more experienced so to say but the age won't matter as much.
Unless, as someone mentioned 25 yo threshold due to the brain chemistry. I'd be less likely to see more long term prospects there. |
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"So it's more likely to develop into more with someone nearer your preferred age group. Is that due to having similar things in common or more just from your experience that people older than 20s are more likely to want the social side?"
I'm more poly than swing, so youthful exuberance doesn't excite me as much as the whole person. One of my partners I have zero common interests with, so I doubt it's to do with that. I just tend to connect better with people slightly older than myself. Though one of my partners is in his 20s, he's just an old soul I think. |
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For us the age limits were set predominantly with men in mind and the ages she finds attractive. In general she finds me under 35 too immature, for instance, however a 30 year old woman likely not, ultimately it’s around who she can find that certain something with though.
I (him) need to connect on some level other than a nice arse or great breasts, and the further from your own age, the less likely you are to find that connection. I’m well aware that can come across as being a patronising old git but the older I’ve got the more I’ve been able to appreciate how immature I probably was in my younger years, despite considering myself to have the wisdom of Solomon! |
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maturity comes with age I think. Certainly some people in their 20s and 30s are mature for the number of years they've lived but their attitudes and references will usually be of their time and sometimes reflect a different way of thinking about things where sex is concerned. |
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As someone who very much places great importance on my lower age filter because of my kids ages I can honestly say maturity at any age doesn't factor into the equation at all.
It wouldn't matter to me how mature or experienced someone in their 20s may be because I have no intention of testing that.
In saying that though, experience and sexual maturity are not something I really place any emphasis on at any age.
I joined this site aged 52 with very little sexual experience and as such I'm much more comfortable with those of a similar age and similar level of experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to prefer people older than myself.
There are exceptions for sure, but I always feel like people don't finish becoming people until at least 25 for women, nearer 30 for men, and I'd rather stick to people I'm more likely to have long term compatibility with."
I think the first 50 years of childhood are amongst the worst for most men.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends if they can string a sentence together or hold a conversation, if they can then that's absolutely fine.
We just tend to find, not all but most we speak to younger than us it's like trying to get blood from a stone 
We tend to get on better with people a bit older than us.
Miss S x |
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By *icknHMan
over a year ago
Ilfracombe |
"I see often that people are not looking for people in their 20s because they are seen as less mature to the swinging environment compared to someone who may be in their 40s.
I've been in the scene 2 years nearly now and prefer to meet couples. I have definitely matured a lot through experience rather than my age.
So I ask, does age matter so much for maturity of them joining or does it moreso go of how long that person has been in the lifestyle? (This is outside age preferences due to similar ages to your children, etc)."
Not about age for me, more that I love a good conversation. So a lady that enjoys that too (of any age) is good for me |
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