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Light n shade
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Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love. "
Congrats on opening up and seeking help.
I finally did at the end of December and am currently signed off work and working through my issues.
Definitely helps to talk about it! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love. "
Takes strength and courage to admit we need help, even more so to actually accept..there is power in that, and not doing alone.
So fair play to you Op...from what I know your much loved on the forums, so take the strength and support where you can |
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"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love.
Congrats on opening up and seeking help.
I finally did at the end of December and am currently signed off work and working through my issues.
Definitely helps to talk about it! Xx"
That's the point I was at previously when I had the full on breakdown. I was off work 9 months, and I cannot go back down that road, I gotta catch it. I may take a few weeks off but I really really don't wanna go back down the hole. |
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"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love. "
•
Thank you Brian. Let me know when you're ready for Woo'ing.
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"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love.
•
Thank you Brian. Let me know when you're ready for Woo'ing.
"
Man, I've been shut down since you know who did you know what, maybe after this I'll be up for dick again  |
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"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love.
Takes strength and courage to admit we need help, even more so to actually accept..there is power in that, and not doing alone.
So fair play to you Op...from what I know your much loved on the forums, so take the strength and support where you can "
Thank you, I really appreciate it |
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"Stay strong you cunt
We’re here if you need help and someone to talk to   "
Cheers bitch, the comfort of my bed has become more of a cocoon and hidey hole. I'm just finding the world so fucking ugly and frustrating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love.
Congrats on opening up and seeking help.
I finally did at the end of December and am currently signed off work and working through my issues.
Definitely helps to talk about it! Xx
That's the point I was at previously when I had the full on breakdown. I was off work 9 months, and I cannot go back down that road, I gotta catch it. I may take a few weeks off but I really really don't wanna go back down the hole."
I get that.
I had a bad start to 2021, and then took 6 months off travelling and moving home. And the last year I couldn't hold a job down, previously had worked for 20 years, but just wasn't working. Finally decided that maybe taking the time to focus on addressing what's up was worth it for a month or two. Then get back to work.
It's such a personal thing though as well I guess. What works for 1 won't always work for someone else.
Really hope the doc can help you! |
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" The times are tough right now so that doesn't help. But you're a good example for us all in talking and sharing your troubles. And being stubborn can be a good thing honey. Lol. x"
It really doesn't. Having to watch every penny and go to a place 5 days a week that's probably doing me more harm in the headspace than good in the wallet is a sign of the times |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
I get you OP its a shitty place but you have had the strength to put your hand up and say oi fuckers I need some help, I've been there.
The week I just had away really helped me at this moment in time.
Stay strong young lady you got this and there's always some fucker on here to talk bollox with, I do videos in cold water called bollox from the river, that's my therapy room and my antidepressant 
xxxx
https://www.youtube.com/@bolloxfromtheriver5686/videos |
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Just don't let them fob you off and chuck pills at you. They might be a stop gap to help, but they don't tackle the root cause.
Also maybe get a MoT blood test, see if you have any deficiencies. I speak from experience on that! The right supplements can really help x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Hey - I have someone similar in my life. I kind of know she may never be ‘normal’, there’s really bad times and not so bad times and occasionally really good times.
There is a charity that offers 1 or 2 week retreats , you need referral from NHS crisis team: when things get bad this really helps her - it’s all healthy eating , yoga , workshops , pampering , massage army nights and no Wi-Fi etc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wanted to give a kind word and share where I'm at.
I ain't been "me" for a bit now. Been trying to ignore it to no avail. Found myself having no motivation to do anything really.
Recently I've been noticing the physical signs. Clenched jaw, chattering teeth (that I only notice coz I hear them), sleeping to pass time, insomnia when I need to sleep, all that kinda shizzle.
Sunday was a bad un, I lashed out at work (at a toilet roll of all things), having suicidal thoughts (not that I believe I'd act on them) but they've been happening regularly over "silly" stuff.
So, I'm back at the docs Tuesday after being off meds for 5 years.
I'm a stubborn cunt, and if I can admit I need help and recognise the signs I hope it brings some comfort to you all that everyone faces their own challenges, and it's ok to ask for help.
Much love. "
This is good news (getting help, not the feeling shit), really happy for you. xx |
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I never knew. I never realised P.P...
Well I realised you were a cunt but not that you'd been suffering n such 
That was brave to share. Thanks for that and you make sure you get all the help you need and keep us updated. Cos we need to know you are okay.... xx xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You really are so well loved, the poster above (fab turned me grey ) was very perceptive observing that. You’re not alone, and if you need a chat, I’d be happy to listen x
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Thought I'd give you a wee update.
Spoke to the doc, back on citalopram, been for blood tests. Got smear, weight n cholesterol check next week.
Signed off for 2 with intention of reviewing, so not to go back unless I feel up to it.
Docs surgery called to say the doc needs to discuss my blood results and the appointment is the 9th. I'm working on the presumption that if it was anything serious or urgent I'd be seen sooner, so chances are I'm vitamin deficient like last time.
Thank you all for your well wishes and concern. It means tons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done for seeking help. And glad you're getting taken seriously!
I sought help for the first time last year after putting it off again and again. Finally had to speak with an emergency Dr one evening and an action plan for medication and therapy was put in place immediately.
Didn't ever want to go on meds, and I've had to increase the dose but I wouldn't be here now without them |
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"Thought I'd give you a wee update.
Spoke to the doc, back on citalopram, been for blood tests. Got smear, weight n cholesterol check next week.
Signed off for 2 with intention of reviewing, so not to go back unless I feel up to it.
Docs surgery called to say the doc needs to discuss my blood results and the appointment is the 9th. I'm working on the presumption that if it was anything serious or urgent I'd be seen sooner, so chances are I'm vitamin deficient like last time.
Thank you all for your well wishes and concern. It means tons "
Take care x |
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AHH blessings upon you and your strength for your honesty and openness.
It's hard admitted you need help particularly after being off the Meds for so long,but it sounds like you are sensible enough to put pride to one side and go to the GP.
I have been off the medication for a few years now and some days I think I'm better off without then I'll have an episode which we know isn't something that is a quick deal.
An episode is something that builds up.
I applaud your strength and power to get help.
Well done and I wish you well and sending a big ol'virtual hug even if you are not a huggy person we all need some arms around us from time to time to make us feel safe and sound xx |
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"AHH blessings upon you and your strength for your honesty and openness.
It's hard admitted you need help particularly after being off the Meds for so long,but it sounds like you are sensible enough to put pride to one side and go to the GP.
I have been off the medication for a few years now and some days I think I'm better off without then I'll have an episode which we know isn't something that is a quick deal.
An episode is something that builds up.
I applaud your strength and power to get help.
Well done and I wish you well and sending a big ol'virtual hug even if you are not a huggy person we all need some arms around us from time to time to make us feel safe and sound xx"
I feel like if I was hugged at the moment I'd just dissolve into a pool of tears. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"Thought I'd give you a wee update.
Spoke to the doc, back on citalopram, been for blood tests. Got smear, weight n cholesterol check next week.
Signed off for 2 with intention of reviewing, so not to go back unless I feel up to it.
Docs surgery called to say the doc needs to discuss my blood results and the appointment is the 9th. I'm working on the presumption that if it was anything serious or urgent I'd be seen sooner, so chances are I'm vitamin deficient like last time.
Thank you all for your well wishes and concern. It means tons "
Sorry to hear you have been struggling Peachy, good you have been to the docs and they are running some tests, hope it includes the hormones and thyroid check along with the vitamins etc. January can be a tough month for a lot of people unfortunately  so hope you start to feel lots happier soon, sending hugs xx |
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Well done on recognising you needed to take the step and reach out for help again, sounds similar to me, my bloods all came back and my vitamin d had tanked and explained a lot of my symptoms, I hope you get some more answers when you speak to them. Take as much time as you feel ypu need, you work a stressful job so make sure you're in a good place and ready xx
Tinder x |
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"Thought I'd give you a wee update.
Spoke to the doc, back on citalopram, been for blood tests. Got smear, weight n cholesterol check next week.
Signed off for 2 with intention of reviewing, so not to go back unless I feel up to it.
Docs surgery called to say the doc needs to discuss my blood results and the appointment is the 9th. I'm working on the presumption that if it was anything serious or urgent I'd be seen sooner, so chances are I'm vitamin deficient like last time.
Thank you all for your well wishes and concern. It means tons "
Take it step by step I’m on a phased return to work at the moment apart from the meds my best thing was talking through my situation with a support group . It’s weird what a stranger can tell you about yourself after a few hours . Take care . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"AHH blessings upon you and your strength for your honesty and openness.
It's hard admitted you need help particularly after being off the Meds for so long,but it sounds like you are sensible enough to put pride to one side and go to the GP.
I have been off the medication for a few years now and some days I think I'm better off without then I'll have an episode which we know isn't something that is a quick deal.
An episode is something that builds up.
I applaud your strength and power to get help.
Well done and I wish you well and sending a big ol'virtual hug even if you are not a huggy person we all need some arms around us from time to time to make us feel safe and sound xx
I feel like if I was hugged at the moment I'd just dissolve into a pool of tears."
Have you got anyone who can come round and hug you anyway? Tears can be a wonderful release.
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Update:
Had nurse today for smear & weight check. I was under the impression they were doing cholesterol too but that had already been done with my blood test last week.
I knew I had something in my bloodwork that was off kilter coz I've got an appointment with the doc next week to discuss the results.
Well the nurse let slip that I've got a big vitamin b12 deficiency combined with high cholesterol. I've since learned that low b12 can literally knock you off your feet, causes irritability (got it) vision problems (been saying for a good year my eyes are getting terrible) all sorts of other goodies, including major fatigue. Been spending my days off in bed coz I'm pure exhausted. Memory loss too, I ain't been going mad all this time. There's an actual reason I've been asking myself "what the fuck was I doing?" I was thinking it was just me getting old but I ain't fucking there yet! And.....depression! Yep, it all makes perfect sense.
So, docs next week to discuss things and see if there's an underlying cause and get an action plan together. |
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"Update:
Had nurse today for smear & weight check. I was under the impression they were doing cholesterol too but that had already been done with my blood test last week.
I knew I had something in my bloodwork that was off kilter coz I've got an appointment with the doc next week to discuss the results.
Well the nurse let slip that I've got a big vitamin b12 deficiency combined with high cholesterol. I've since learned that low b12 can literally knock you off your feet, causes irritability (got it) vision problems (been saying for a good year my eyes are getting terrible) all sorts of other goodies, including major fatigue. Been spending my days off in bed coz I'm pure exhausted. Memory loss too, I ain't been going mad all this time. There's an actual reason I've been asking myself "what the fuck was I doing?" I was thinking it was just me getting old but I ain't fucking there yet! And.....depression! Yep, it all makes perfect sense.
So, docs next week to discuss things and see if there's an underlying cause and get an action plan together."
Not sure how I missed this tread originally. So glad you're getting a diagnosis. Please do keep us all updated. Remember you have a lot of friends on these forums.
XX |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Ah Princess Peach. Really good to read you're starting to get answers and support. That initial step to take isn't an easy one but I hope it continues giving you answers and solutions.
Sending you love as ever. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"Update:
Had nurse today for smear & weight check. I was under the impression they were doing cholesterol too but that had already been done with my blood test last week.
I knew I had something in my bloodwork that was off kilter coz I've got an appointment with the doc next week to discuss the results.
Well the nurse let slip that I've got a big vitamin b12 deficiency combined with high cholesterol. I've since learned that low b12 can literally knock you off your feet, causes irritability (got it) vision problems (been saying for a good year my eyes are getting terrible) all sorts of other goodies, including major fatigue. Been spending my days off in bed coz I'm pure exhausted. Memory loss too, I ain't been going mad all this time. There's an actual reason I've been asking myself "what the fuck was I doing?" I was thinking it was just me getting old but I ain't fucking there yet! And.....depression! Yep, it all makes perfect sense.
So, docs next week to discuss things and see if there's an underlying cause and get an action plan together."
Glad to hear your getting sorted, so many people with B12 deficiency lately for some strange reason, hopefully they will get things sorted for you quickly x |
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By *B69Woman
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
I recently had a course of B12 jabs and now on 1 tablet aday for 100 days till next blood test, also have high cholesterol, did feel a little brighter after them and feeling positive so time will tell I guess. Hope you feel the benefit and back to yourself soon. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I can't believe I missed this thread! PP I'm so glad you went to the doctors, hopefully they will get you back on track asap. Enjoy your time off, I know you work hard! Always here for a chat if needs be x |
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By *oonloverWoman
over a year ago
bognor regis |
"Update:
Had nurse today for smear & weight check. I was under the impression they were doing cholesterol too but that had already been done with my blood test last week.
I knew I had something in my bloodwork that was off kilter coz I've got an appointment with the doc next week to discuss the results.
Well the nurse let slip that I've got a big vitamin b12 deficiency combined with high cholesterol. I've since learned that low b12 can literally knock you off your feet, causes irritability (got it) vision problems (been saying for a good year my eyes are getting terrible) all sorts of other goodies, including major fatigue. Been spending my days off in bed coz I'm pure exhausted. Memory loss too, I ain't been going mad all this time. There's an actual reason I've been asking myself "what the fuck was I doing?" I was thinking it was just me getting old but I ain't fucking there yet! And.....depression! Yep, it all makes perfect sense.
So, docs next week to discuss things and see if there's an underlying cause and get an action plan together."
B12 deficiency can be a bitch. I have 10 weekly injections and by week 8 can definitely feel I need the next one. Good luck |
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Im so cool.