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I’m interested in knowing…
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Well if I was in a relationship and it ended I used to give myself three weeks to mooch around and feel sorry for.myself. Then dust myself down and move on. It's different with my late partner as he died |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well if I was in a relationship and it ended I used to give myself three weeks to mooch around and feel sorry for.myself. Then dust myself down and move on. It's different with my late partner as he died"
I am really sorry for your lost and thanks for sharing your point of view  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With relationships, I’m quite brutal, and if they’ve ended….it was for a reason. I can’t be arsed to waste energy moping around so I pretty much just cut ties, removed anything that was associated with them, and went about my existence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share? "
Grief/loss, is so unliner, and no real interventions to be applied to it, for me it's a case of giving time time, going through the phases as they happen.and talking to those close to me, about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, as well as trying not to suppress the feelings attached to grief to avoid complicated grief happening. |
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Aw honey 
Bearing in mind - as you know I’m a stone cold bitch…
Cut all contact
New haircut/nails/shoes
Gin
Night on the tiles with the girls
Then Ice-cream & soppy movies under a blanket the following day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aw honey
Bearing in mind - as you know I’m a stone cold bitch…
Cut all contact
New haircut/nails/shoes
Gin
Night on the tiles with the girls
Then Ice-cream & soppy movies under a blanket the following day."
It seems like something I’d do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aw honey
Bearing in mind - as you know I’m a stone cold bitch…
Cut all contact
New haircut/nails/shoes
Gin
Night on the tiles with the girls
Then Ice-cream & soppy movies under a blanket the following day."
And if it helps I hire out my traffic cone for cuddles  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
Grief/loss, is so unliner, and no real interventions to be applied to it, for me it's a case of giving time time, going through the phases as they happen.and talking to those close to me, about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, as well as trying not to suppress the feelings attached to grief to avoid complicated grief happening."
Very wise and emotionally knowledgeable |
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I chucked myself into my work. Picked up loads of overtime. there something about working angry which relieves stress haha. And then with the extra money. New wardrobe. Shoes holidays car etc. It always falls into place and you end up being slimmer and get back the confidence.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I chucked myself into my work. Picked up loads of overtime. there something about working angry which relieves stress haha. And then with the extra money. New wardrobe. Shoes holidays car etc. It always falls into place and you end up being slimmer and get back the confidence. "
Good for you! I’m happy your coping strategy made you feel so much better |
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My mother passed away in June 2019. If death can be lovely she had a lovely death, just slipping away in front of us. Old age, she just wore out. She had lived a fully independent life in her own home right up to 36 hours before she passed. It was sad. I was not crushed by overwhelming grief but did and still do miss her. At this stage of my life I've dealt with numerous set backs and disappointments and as painful as they are to deal with at the time the pain eases. I've learn to rationalise setback. I'm sure there will be more in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When my mum died I made myself very busy and also talked to people about it a lot
I am really sorry for your loss
Thank you. It's almost a year now  "
I hope time has made it easier for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I remember the different stages of grief and work through them as they come to me, every day is different when I'm facing loss "
It’s an ever evolving pain, isn’t it? Hopefully it’ll get easier for you |
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Relationships: give yourself a period of mooching, then start a new hobby, join a new club or begin a new employment venture.
Grief: Talk to people. Don’t bottle up feelings, don’t judge how you feel- there’s no right or wrong emotional response to loss. If you want to, laugh, cry, shout, feel angry, feel abandoned, then do- but it’s also equally valid to not do these things.
If a close friend or family member is the one doing the grieving- let them do these things without judging them, and talk to them about the deceased, sharing memories is a powerful healing mechanism. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships: give yourself a period of mooching, then start a new hobby, join a new club or begin a new employment venture.
Grief: Talk to people. Don’t bottle up feelings, don’t judge how you feel- there’s no right or wrong emotional response to loss. If you want to, laugh, cry, shout, feel angry, feel abandoned, then do- but it’s also equally valid to not do these things.
If a close friend or family member is the one doing the grieving- let them do these things without judging them, and talk to them about the deceased, sharing memories is a powerful healing mechanism."
Thank you for such a detailed response. Very wise advise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My mother passed away in June 2019. If death can be lovely she had a lovely death, just slipping away in front of us. Old age, she just wore out. She had lived a fully independent life in her own home right up to 36 hours before she passed. It was sad. I was not crushed by overwhelming grief but did and still do miss her. At this stage of my life I've dealt with numerous set backs and disappointments and as painful as they are to deal with at the time the pain eases. I've learn to rationalise setback. I'm sure there will be more in the future. "
It sounds like you are very in tune with yourself, it helps greatly to heal. I am really sorry for your lost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not going to go into much detail but suffice to say unrequited love is the worst.
I lean on my best girl pal for support when I am having a crap period and try and fill my time with other things as much as possible.
Time will slowly heal so I just let the feelings wash over me and know it will get easier and I will move on one day.
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
At times try and do something that can become a challenge keeps the mind busy also. But it can depend upon the circumstances to even find inner self energy. So impact and circumstances has an important role |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not going to go into much detail but suffice to say unrequited love is the worst.
I lean on my best girl pal for support when I am having a crap period and try and fill my time with other things as much as possible.
Time will slowly heal so I just let the feelings wash over me and know it will get easier and I will move on one day.
"
Thank you for sharing |
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"My mother passed away in June 2019. If death can be lovely she had a lovely death, just slipping away in front of us. Old age, she just wore out. She had lived a fully independent life in her own home right up to 36 hours before she passed. It was sad. I was not crushed by overwhelming grief but did and still do miss her. At this stage of my life I've dealt with numerous set backs and disappointments and as painful as they are to deal with at the time the pain eases. I've learn to rationalise setback. I'm sure there will be more in the future.
It sounds like you are very in tune with yourself, it helps greatly to heal. I am really sorry for your lost "
It's important to be aware of your thinking and to catch yourself in the way you are thinking. Regarding my mother.I felt guilt that I didn't become a crumbled mess but also know in my heart I loved and cared for her as a son should. Everything was done for her for this reason and never because I ever thought I had to. My most painful experiences in the past have typically been when relationships have ended which is why I'm now single and have been for many years. I dont want to go through it anymore. But equally I like women and I like being intimate sexually so this site provides me the opportunity for this as opposed to standard relationships. |
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"Not going to go into much detail but suffice to say unrequited love is the worst.
I lean on my best girl pal for support when I am having a crap period and try and fill my time with other things as much as possible.
Time will slowly heal so I just let the feelings wash over me and know it will get easier and I will move on one day.
"
I feel you.... The last few months have been a rollercoaster but fuck it ... Their loss and someone else's gain and all that |
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"When my mum died I made myself very busy and also talked to people about it a lot
I am really sorry for your loss
Thank you. It's almost a year now
I hope time has made it easier for you "
Thank you.
It's never straightforward, she'd had years of ill health and was not the woman she had been. We had also had our 'difficulties '. I had along with my dad cared for her in various capacities for a long time and this made it possible for us to ensure we had no regrets. She was more than ready to die and we were able to be with her. I miss her of course and as time goes on I miss her more but I have never been grief stricken but the loss of her doesn't get easier. |
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share? "
I have a set of 200-300 hundred therapy skills and 6 Mental health-specific support people to talk to. I just throw one of those skills at it multiple times a day and talk to the support once a day until I feel better. Lover dumped me and mooched for a month and was over it surprisingly fast.
Husband attacked me before therapy skills and support was in placed and I'm still dealing with the fall out of a broken marriage 9 years later.
C'est la vie. At least I'm still alive somehow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When my mum died I made myself very busy and also talked to people about it a lot
I am really sorry for your loss
Thank you. It's almost a year now
I hope time has made it easier for you
Thank you.
It's never straightforward, she'd had years of ill health and was not the woman she had been. We had also had our 'difficulties '. I had along with my dad cared for her in various capacities for a long time and this made it possible for us to ensure we had no regrets. She was more than ready to die and we were able to be with her. I miss her of course and as time goes on I miss her more but I have never been grief stricken but the loss of her doesn't get easier. "
It makes sense when you’ve had time to get ready that grief won’t strick you as hard, but it is true, that doesn’t make things easier or the absence less painful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heartbreak comes from many things but I'm assuming it's the emotional kind caused by a partner.
My last partner passed away this time last year and personally I've had a very tough week but that will be memories of happiness that forever live with you, maybe next year I'll celebrate them memories rather than be reminiscent...and that's how I will process and move on.
We all process heartache differently so what works for one won't work for someone else...but I have been there and feel your pain OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I have a set of 200-300 hundred therapy skills and 6 Mental health-specific support people to talk to. I just throw one of those skills at it multiple times a day and talk to the support once a day until I feel better. Lover dumped me and mooched for a month and was over it surprisingly fast.
Husband attacked me before therapy skills and support was in placed and I'm still dealing with the fall out of a broken marriage 9 years later.
C'est la vie. At least I'm still alive somehow."
For all the posts I’ve read from you, I’d say you are a very emotionally capable woman. Things like trauma don’t heal that easily unfortunately, but I’m glad to see you’re putting the steps into it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Heartbreak comes from many things but I'm assuming it's the emotional kind caused by a partner.
My last partner passed away this time last year and personally I've had a very tough week but that will be memories of happiness that forever live with you, maybe next year I'll celebrate them memories rather than be reminiscent...and that's how I will process and move on.
We all process heartache differently so what works for one won't work for someone else...but I have been there and feel your pain OP"
I am deeply sorry for your lost and thank you for being able to share it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cry, sulk, wallow in self pity, sleep lots, eat rubbish, whine to my mates... Then have a word with myself and get over it. "
A woman after my own heart |
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I have a set of 200-300 hundred therapy skills and 6 Mental health-specific support people to talk to. I just throw one of those skills at it multiple times a day and talk to the support once a day until I feel better. Lover dumped me and mooched for a month and was over it surprisingly fast.
Husband attacked me before therapy skills and support was in placed and I'm still dealing with the fall out of a broken marriage 9 years later.
C'est la vie. At least I'm still alive somehow.
For all the posts I’ve read from you, I’d say you are a very emotionally capable woman. Things like trauma don’t heal that easily unfortunately, but I’m glad to see you’re putting the steps into it "
Thanks. It was sort of learn to cope or die. Yeah trauma sucks big time. One step by step. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I have a set of 200-300 hundred therapy skills and 6 Mental health-specific support people to talk to. I just throw one of those skills at it multiple times a day and talk to the support once a day until I feel better. Lover dumped me and mooched for a month and was over it surprisingly fast.
Husband attacked me before therapy skills and support was in placed and I'm still dealing with the fall out of a broken marriage 9 years later.
C'est la vie. At least I'm still alive somehow.
For all the posts I’ve read from you, I’d say you are a very emotionally capable woman. Things like trauma don’t heal that easily unfortunately, but I’m glad to see you’re putting the steps into it
Thanks. It was sort of learn to cope or die. Yeah trauma sucks big time. One step by step."
I feel you, thanks for always being so raw and authentically you. You are an inspiration to a lot of us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just get on with stuff I need to do daily.
There are some days I forget how much it hurts. When i am reminded, I take a deep breath and try to remember how happy I was before I knew I was ever going to meet the love of my life. And then I continue to move forward in my life trying to find that happiness again.
Thanks for reminding me op. *takes a deep breath.
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I have a set of 200-300 hundred therapy skills and 6 Mental health-specific support people to talk to. I just throw one of those skills at it multiple times a day and talk to the support once a day until I feel better. Lover dumped me and mooched for a month and was over it surprisingly fast.
Husband attacked me before therapy skills and support was in placed and I'm still dealing with the fall out of a broken marriage 9 years later.
C'est la vie. At least I'm still alive somehow.
For all the posts I’ve read from you, I’d say you are a very emotionally capable woman. Things like trauma don’t heal that easily unfortunately, but I’m glad to see you’re putting the steps into it
Thanks. It was sort of learn to cope or die. Yeah trauma sucks big time. One step by step.
I feel you, thanks for always being so raw and authentically you. You are an inspiration to a lot of us "
Aww Thanks... Got to keep going for those still here and those who didn't make it. Even if it's just a small action or thought that plants seed for others.
Americans call it paying it forward. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak."
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just get on with stuff I need to do daily.
There are some days I forget how much it hurts. When i am reminded, I take a deep breath and try to remember how happy I was before I knew I was ever going to meet the love of my life. And then I continue to move forward in my life trying to find that happiness again.
Thanks for reminding me op. *takes a deep breath.
"
I am really sorry if I have struck a nerve here. It never gets easier, doesn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Aww Thanks... Got to keep going for those still here and those who didn't make it. Even if it's just a small action or thought that plants seed for others.
Americans call it paying it forward."
There are so many of us here that maybe wish we weren't, so it is truly kind of you to share.
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"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true... "
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true...
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
"
Truly is |
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"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true...
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
Truly is "
It probably doesn’t feel like it now but it does get better with time. It really does |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true...
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
Truly is
It probably doesn’t feel like it now but it does get better with time. It really does "
I appreciate the advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true...
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
"
I've always been giving this analogy to crying ' imagine a old skool steam kettle, without a release valve, the pressure would build and it would explode" its the same either crying to release the emotions otherwise they come out in other ways, generally dysfunctional, maladaptive and inappropriate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a loss so should be dealt with as such.
Allowing enough time to grief was something I’ve learned over the last heartbreak.
We are sometimes so focused on 'getting it over with' that we don't allow ourselves to grief properly sometimes, that is true...
Unfortunately, we are so conditioned by modern society of fast/swipe culture that we forget the basic principles.
Emotions needs to be deeply felt, not just swiped under the carpet with oh so popular now “Next!”
Crying is also cathartic and can have healing properties in itself.
I've always been giving this analogy to crying ' imagine a old skool steam kettle, without a release valve, the pressure would build and it would explode" its the same either crying to release the emotions otherwise they come out in other ways, generally dysfunctional, maladaptive and inappropriate "
I see a valid point, but unfortunately most people don’t choose to emotionally dysfunction, there’s a lot of layers to that |
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I'm a bit of an overthinker myself, so play back various things, could things have been different and such.
So a big aspect for me is making sure I focus on other things so it's not constant but equally leaving time to allow myself to do that so I can move past it rather than just ignore it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm a bit of an overthinker myself, so play back various things, could things have been different and such.
So a big aspect for me is making sure I focus on other things so it's not constant but equally leaving time to allow myself to do that so I can move past it rather than just ignore it"
I can relate to this immensely. Thanks for sharing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Sir lost his battle with cancer in October.
The heartbreak from such an intense relationship has in many ways broken me.
I'm trying to remain positive as I fight my own battle with the big C. I need to live as its what he would have wanted and what I owe myself.
Positive distraction is the way forward from experience x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My Sir lost his battle with cancer in October.
The heartbreak from such an intense relationship has in many ways broken me.
I'm trying to remain positive as I fight my own battle with the big C. I need to live as its what he would have wanted and what I owe myself.
Positive distraction is the way forward from experience x
"
I am so sorry for your lost, I am sure he’d be proud to see you fight |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends what kind
If you mean realship then get banged off everone who wants to till I am over it
Been 11 years not shour it’s working "
You and me both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what kind
If you mean realship then get banged off everone who wants to till I am over it
Been 11 years not shour it’s working
You and me both "
Hugs think my hang up on it is that it’s been so long that maybe we are both different people now that a do over could work if not then at least friendship
This not being friends or talking to a person I love so much is the killer
Despite everything that went on I have forgotten and forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends what kind
If you mean realship then get banged off everone who wants to till I am over it
Been 11 years not shour it’s working
You and me both
Hugs think my hang up on it is that it’s been so long that maybe we are both different people now that a do over could work if not then at least friendship
This not being friends or talking to a person I love so much is the killer
Despite everything that went on I have forgotten and forgiven "
Being able to forget and forgive says a lot about you. It’s always hard to not be able to speak to the ones we love or feel strongly about, but sometimes is the only way to get over something. I’m sorry this is not your case |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
I would say that everyone deals with heartbreaks in many different ways. Havent really been in a relationship in about 6 years but have been on dates a few times but getting a text to say it's not working does cut a knife in deep at times. Only thing you can do is lick your wounds and get up and dust yourself off. Jamming to some punk surprisingly helps too in my case  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what kind
If you mean realship then get banged off everone who wants to till I am over it
Been 11 years not shour it’s working
You and me both
Hugs think my hang up on it is that it’s been so long that maybe we are both different people now that a do over could work if not then at least friendship
This not being friends or talking to a person I love so much is the killer
Despite everything that went on I have forgotten and forgiven
Being able to forget and forgive says a lot about you. It’s always hard to not be able to speak to the ones we love or feel strongly about, but sometimes is the only way to get over something. I’m sorry this is not your case "
Thank you so much x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say that everyone deals with heartbreaks in many different ways. Havent really been in a relationship in about 6 years but have been on dates a few times but getting a text to say it's not working does cut a knife in deep at times. Only thing you can do is lick your wounds and get up and dust yourself off. Jamming to some punk surprisingly helps too in my case "
Hence the thread! Coming from true curiosity about how people does it and if it works. You guys are mostly a very emotionally competent bunch
PS: my current jamming music won’t help much with this matter |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationship wise I’ve never had my heart broken ..When my dad died I didn’t deal with it to well but I was a lot younger then and I’m a different person now .."
Glad you’re feeling more confident nowadays |
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I reiterate what most people are saying. Everybody deals with heartbreak in their own way. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very open and at times emotionally vulnerable. When my marriage ended, i was a complete mess, what kept me going was my children...i had to pull myself together. But cliche as it sounds...time also.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I reiterate what most people are saying. Everybody deals with heartbreak in their own way. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very open and at times emotionally vulnerable. When my marriage ended, i was a complete mess, what kept me going was my children...i had to pull myself together. But cliche as it sounds...time also.."
I really hope you’re in a better place now, children are a powerful reason to keep going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share? "
In eyesight I could of handled it with more decorum than I did.lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
In eyesight I could of handled it with more decorum than I did.lol"
Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all do the best we can with the resources we have at that time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both have had our fair share. Both of us have now lost our parents. Our Dads both died around 10 years ago, Clyde’s mum 2.5 years ago from cancer and my mum died in March from cancer.
Clyde is like a rock and has helped me deal with my mum. He is so philosophical about live and death.
We both had very bad relationship experience. I turned to friends and family and my dog. Clyde dealt with things on his own and came back so strong. When I say you would not believe how badly he was treated, I mean that, but that was 15 years ago.
We are the strongest and happiest we have ever been now we are together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We both have had our fair share. Both of us have now lost our parents. Our Dads both died around 10 years ago, Clyde’s mum 2.5 years ago from cancer and my mum died in March from cancer.
Clyde is like a rock and has helped me deal with my mum. He is so philosophical about live and death.
We both had very bad relationship experience. I turned to friends and family and my dog. Clyde dealt with things on his own and came back so strong. When I say you would not believe how badly he was treated, I mean that, but that was 15 years ago.
We are the strongest and happiest we have ever been now we are together."
I’m sorry that you have to go through so much but I’m really happy you found each other and found a safe heaven in your relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just file it away under Another Life Experience and move on, maybe a little bit wiser.
A different perspective for sure "
Well the only person that cares about it is me, and if I let it hurt, I'm only hurting myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just file it away under Another Life Experience and move on, maybe a little bit wiser.
A different perspective for sure
Well the only person that cares about it is me, and if I let it hurt, I'm only hurting myself."
Respectable of course, but as I said, it’s different, that’s all |
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I’m not good at dealing with emotions so I usually just appear to be dead inside  my last relationship after we broke up and I cried, I think I was in denial for a long time to the point that my ex was worried. I’m just better at internalising it and pushing my emotions deep down  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really well
Erm, ok?  i was lying did it show
Not sure, unfortunately "
years later and still not in full control and vulnerable to the smallest change id say no i dont take well at all i dont have tho sociopath switch im afraid |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not good at dealing with emotions so I usually just appear to be dead inside my last relationship after we broke up and I cried, I think I was in denial for a long time to the point that my ex was worried. I’m just better at internalising it and pushing my emotions deep down "
Sometimes is easier to be guarded with our own emotions, isn’t it? I have always been like this as well, the only time I’ve opened up in my whole life, I’ve been badly hurt, so I guess I’ll be joining you in the pushing down emotions club soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Really well
Erm, ok? i was lying did it show
Not sure, unfortunately years later and still not in full control and vulnerable to the smallest change id say no i dont take well at all i dont have tho sociopath switch im afraid "
Sometimes we don’t acknowledge the fact that we need help to overcome certain things, and that can be painful for you and the people around you. I wish you understanding and healing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share? "
I struggled. I buried myself in music and work. The after effects are that I have some favourite albums I can’t listen to any more |
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In 2019 I lost my mum she was only 65 I was just about to have my son was a very ruff patch in my life still is sometimes but I remember all the laughter the phone calls to talk about absolutely nothing. Will always miss her but she is watching me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When my husband died I’ve never felt heartbreak like it.
Physical pain, aching in my chest.
It’s surreal. I don’t know how I dealt with it. I just survived "
I am really sorry for your lost, you are incredibly strong for having survived such pain |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I struggled. I buried myself in music and work. The after effects are that I have some favourite albums I can’t listen to any more"
It happens to me as well, there are certain albums with a very strong power to make me cry for the subconscious memories it brings to my mind. Sometime I listen to them because I need some sort of cathartic release. Music is a very powerful thing indeed. I hope you are in a better place now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In 2019 I lost my mum she was only 65 I was just about to have my son was a very ruff patch in my life still is sometimes but I remember all the laughter the phone calls to talk about absolutely nothing. Will always miss her but she is watching me "
I am really sorry for your loss, I’m sure she’s looking after you |
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"I tend to continue as before.
Work and keeping busy helps for me.
It works for most people, I’m glad you’re that strong "
Everyone is different. I continued as normal after the breakdown of my marriage but felt numb for a
Very long time. It simply wasn't evident.
Not sure that makes me strong, it was necessary to keep money coming in and a roof over our heads. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to continue as before.
Work and keeping busy helps for me.
It works for most people, I’m glad you’re that strong
Everyone is different. I continued as normal after the breakdown of my marriage but felt numb for a
Very long time. It simply wasn't evident.
Not sure that makes me strong, it was necessary to keep money coming in and a roof over our heads."
It is a coping mechanism, valid like any other, detaching oneself from the painful situation to be able to carry on. There is the opposite side, pain so paralysing the world seems to end. No right or wrong, but being able to carry on is a sign of strength in my book |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I struggled. I buried myself in music and work. The after effects are that I have some favourite albums I can’t listen to any more
It happens to me as well, there are certain albums with a very strong power to make me cry for the subconscious memories it brings to my mind. Sometime I listen to them because I need some sort of cathartic release. Music is a very powerful thing indeed. I hope you are in a better place now "
I am thank you. Low point was 8years ago, I’m gladly and happily long past it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How different people deals with heartbreak in their own way. Would that be something you guys would like to share?
I struggled. I buried myself in music and work. The after effects are that I have some favourite albums I can’t listen to any more
It happens to me as well, there are certain albums with a very strong power to make me cry for the subconscious memories it brings to my mind. Sometime I listen to them because I need some sort of cathartic release. Music is a very powerful thing indeed. I hope you are in a better place now
I am thank you. Low point was 8years ago, I’m gladly and happily long past it"
That is something amazing to read, thanks for sharing your experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk it through with people who want the best for you. The ones who will support your choice, but without cuddling your feelings, helping you to move on rather than entertaining pity party. That's me. What helps you OP? |
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"I tend to continue as before.
Work and keeping busy helps for me.
It works for most people, I’m glad you’re that strong
Everyone is different. I continued as normal after the breakdown of my marriage but felt numb for a
Very long time. It simply wasn't evident.
Not sure that makes me strong, it was necessary to keep money coming in and a roof over our heads.
It is a coping mechanism, valid like any other, detaching oneself from the painful situation to be able to carry on. There is the opposite side, pain so paralysing the world seems to end. No right or wrong, but being able to carry on is a sign of strength in my book "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Talk it through with people who want the best for you. The ones who will support your choice, but without cuddling your feelings, helping you to move on rather than entertaining pity party. That's me. What helps you OP? "
That is a sound strategy if I’ve ever seen one
What helps me? Not much nowadays, feeling happy for others it does brighten my heart a bit. Apart from that, it’s a pity fest and self destructive behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk it through with people who want the best for you. The ones who will support your choice, but without cuddling your feelings, helping you to move on rather than entertaining pity party. That's me. What helps you OP?
That is a sound strategy if I’ve ever seen one
What helps me? Not much nowadays, feeling happy for others it does brighten my heart a bit. Apart from that, it’s a pity fest and self destructive behaviour. "
Aww Cherry. I hope not everyday is like it! We are all allowed a slip up in self love journey. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Talk it through with people who want the best for you. The ones who will support your choice, but without cuddling your feelings, helping you to move on rather than entertaining pity party. That's me. What helps you OP?
That is a sound strategy if I’ve ever seen one
What helps me? Not much nowadays, feeling happy for others it does brighten my heart a bit. Apart from that, it’s a pity fest and self destructive behaviour.
Aww Cherry. I hope not everyday is like it! We are all allowed a slip up in self love journey. "
That is very sweet, thank you I know me and I know my unhealthy coping mechanisms, that’s why I don’t open up, ever. We’re allowed to make the mistake of letting someone in, but just the once. I shall continue being happy for all you strong gorgeous people |
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