FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Making first contact
Making first contact
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I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message | |||
"When i was single ALL my meets were through me making first contact, i used to get the meets I wanted then. "Oh I wish, I've always been backward at coming forward, never been good at getting the guys I want, once I have them tho, that's a different matter, don't mind asking for what I want then  | |||
"When i was single ALL my meets were through me making first contact, i used to get the meets I wanted then.
Oh I wish, I've always been backward at coming forward, never been good at getting the guys I want, once I have them tho, that's a different matter, don't mind asking for what I want then "Thats the only way fab worked for me, i used to message 5 guys i liked the look of, id get on average 4 messages back then by the time id talked and found out a bit more about them id meet two, better than getting exasperated with your inbox trust me.  | |||
I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first | |||
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"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
"Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens. | |||
"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first "Good luck, you'll be fine | |||
"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?" I would offer my self to you by making the first move but you don't like smokers x | |||
"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens."If anyone messages me, just call me ET.... | |||
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"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first
Good luck, you'll be fine "Fingers crossed. And toes and eyes | |||
"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens.
If anyone messages me, just call me ET...."Careful with that glowing end | |||
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"Im crap at it too. Im always talking to quite a few people and we becoming good friends. But im not juat able to say 'lets meet on this day'. Im always waiting for them to make the first move and ask me to meet. Lost out on a lot of meets due to this. Think to myself that if they like me and have been chatting to me for such time, they will ask to meet. I dont want to seem pushy and ask for a meet. But maybe i should x But hey, tis is the life of a swinger. Good luck x "And if they've analysed it similarly then that's a silly way to not meet someone and potentially have some great some great sex with them. | |||
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"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you "Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete  | |||
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"Most of the people Ive met have been where I have made first contact. I think its a bit unfair for people to complain about rubbish first messages etc when they dont bother sending them themselves. Besides, I prefer to find what I want, rather than waiting to see what Im offered.... " | |||
"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it "I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try | |||
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"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it
I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try "Tuts @ word victim  your gorjus and you should go for what you want | |||
xx | |||
"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!
"haha ditto | |||
"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you
Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete "Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself? | |||
"I never make first contact anymore, the last few times I have the guys suddenly come over all arrogant and have spoke to me like crap "Yes has happened to me a few times too, but if guys stopped making contact every time someone got snotty there would be a bit of a drought out there.... You just have do what we say about everything else - ignore it and move on. | |||
"I am on a bit of a I am not sending message type mood at the moment.. However when I am active in meeting then I will send messages an usually a well thought out one.. if they reply they reply if not move on to the next one... xx"your quite a rarity on here miss | |||
"I never make first contact anymore, the last few times I have the guys suddenly come over all arrogant and have spoke to me like crap "Well you don't deserve that hun, but you shouldn't let that stop you, there are lots of respectful, nice guys out there. | |||
"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it
I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try "You need a kick up the arse with your self confidence Mrs... You are a gorgeous lovely woman... Just take the bull by the horns and go for it..... !!! | |||
"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you
Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete
Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself? "Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then | |||
"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!
"Baa, bleet, ba, ba, baaaaaaaa. Hope it was as good for you  | |||
"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!
Baa, bleet, ba, ba, baaaaaaaa. Hope it was as good for you "You silver tongued devil you!! | |||
"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it
I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try
You need a kick up the arse with your self confidence Mrs... You are a gorgeous lovely woman... Just take the bull by the horns and go for it..... !!!"Awwwww ty hun  if I do get my arse kicked and go for it, I could be sending messages till next Christmas....there's a lot of flippin nice people out there lol  | |||
"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you
Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete
Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself?
Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then "Not if you call me sugarkisses I will just forward it on lol | |||
"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you
Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete
Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself?
Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then
Not if you call me sugarkisses I will just forward it on lol"Haha ok maybe I will send you one, but what are you gonna do with it? | |||
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"You lot should try being a single man for a day!! At least you'll more than likely get a response! " Haha and you should try being a single woman, get some of the messages we get lol, it's swings and roundabouts | |||
now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies | |||
"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "How could men turn you down ur stunning x | |||
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"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "you're joking, i cant believe you get replies like that | |||
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"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "Maybe that is what he fancied at that time.. Varity is the spice of life... though not very tactful I must say.. | |||
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"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "well i know what id tell him, and i agree, some guys dont know when there lucky, i bet he feels special now, thinking hes got two women chasing himm | |||
"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy! " Variety is the spice of life.... | |||
"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy! Variety is the spice of life.... "Definitely | |||
"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "Just shows that us fat old birds still have pulling power | |||
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"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth. | |||
"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy! Variety is the spice of life.... "Oi cheeky chops!! Thats my line lol variety is definately the spice of life, and i have the spices to go with it tooo lol. Hungry now. Going to go and do aome cooking. Hope you all have a good day. Ps. TJandM your special..i have seen you in the chat rooms. Your lush (have to give credit where its due) | |||
"Not having a type is fine...... What isn't is telling us he can't be free for the next 3 weeks and then arranging a meet openly in chat for tomorrow after already saying he was too busy.... Just a no would of done "That is a different matter. I have given up trying to work out what the "too busy" really means. For some it can mean that they fancy something different and couldn't commit to being in a certain place at a certain time when asked. For others it can mean they are game players. Only you can decide whether you are still happy to meet him. | |||
"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special
Just shows that us fat old birds still have pulling power " | |||
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"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "I'd never send a message like that after reading some ladies profiles (yes I read them) | |||
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"I'm rubbish at it too but mainly down to the fact that I am aware I'm an acquired taste so leave it to the guys to contact me!! But if its a guy I've already met then I have no hesitation in contacting for a meet!!" I am excatly the other way round...I am terrible at asking for the 2nd meet...fear of rejection most definately... | |||
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"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks
I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message"I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again. | |||
"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward . I like sexually suggestive messages!! I love getting first messages from women, even the ones that say 'no chance sucker, dream on and don't look at my profile again' type ones. JJ x " | |||
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"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks
I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message
I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again."thats a good way, bt mst be like a job interview 4 the poor guy | |||
"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks
I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message
I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again. thats a good way, bt mst be like a job interview 4 the poor guy "lol.. I know what you mean and I sometimes say that to them.. sorry if this feels like an interview where you are being notified afterwards. Tbh it is not quite like that... and if I have really good vibes about a guy I would say so on the day. It is really more for those situations where I feel that something is missing in the chemistry. | |||
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"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?" Im the same, i have never made first contact with anyone, even in clubs i never make the first move, if i see a guy i like i just keep walking past him in the hope i grab his attention and he gives me some kind of sign hes interested, if he dont then i feel i havnt made a fool of myself by asking him for him to say no, im also the same with guys i have met, i never ask anyone for a re meet, i think a lot take that as im not interested, when thats not always the case i just wait for them to ask me first, again that way i know they want to meet me again without making a fool of myself by asking them only for them to say no, if i see someone on here i like the look of, i take off my stealth mode and go look at their profile again so they can see i have looked at them then i go back into stealth mode before i look at anyone else, that way i will get their attention and if they like the look of me hopefully mail me, it does actually work i have got a lot of meets by doing that
I guess we just do it the way that works for us, im not a very confident person so i do it the way i feel best | |||
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"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?" I've never sent first message, takes all my time to reply to messages I get, never have time to go browse | |||
"I would not make the first move - and never have done. Despite my confident outgoing nature I am a tiny bit old fashioned in the sense that for me it is up to the guy to make the first move. And before I get shot by the more emancipated ladies on here... I know it is not pc... but hey that is how I was raised and I am comfortable with it. "act like a lady.. now open ur legs..now u arent! woohooo xxx | |||
"I would not make the first move - and never have done. Despite my confident outgoing nature I am a tiny bit old fashioned in the sense that for me it is up to the guy to make the first move. And before I get shot by the more emancipated ladies on here... I know it is not pc... but hey that is how I was raised and I am comfortable with it.
act like a lady.. now open ur legs..now u arent! woohooo xxx"PMSL (Not very ladylike I know ) ... | |||
"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special
Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth."
I'm not sure why anyone would think a rejection like that was a kick in the teeth.
I never get mail because I've set my profile so I don't show up on searches. I can't understand anyone that would want to spend ages trawling through unsuitable messages.
I always send first mails. And most of the time I don't get replies...
I think I must really be a single male??!! | |||
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"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward . JJ x "I'm exactly the same! I started all polite like you said...Hi, really like your profile etc... but this didn't seem to have much effect! Mind you, I did try a more straight forward approach after that, and that particular message got deleted aswell!! | |||
"IMHO, everyone suffers rejection blues from time to time. Luckily, mine don't last long, as I have other interests in life to keep me busy and occupied. Besides, I know I am not everyone's cup of tea. "In what way? | |||
"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special
Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth.
I'm not sure why anyone would think a rejection like that was a kick in the teeth.
I never get mail because I've set my profile so I don't show up on searches. I can't understand anyone that would want to spend ages trawling through unsuitable messages.
I always send first mails. And most of the time I don't get replies...
I think I must really be a single male??!! "Don't be daft Norman | |||
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"Best thing to do to get started is get on a cam in the chat rooms. That way people can see you and basically know that you're not a fake. Be yourself and be honest with people. After a while you'll come to know a few people on there and eventually you'll build up a friend group and then take it from there. Remember if at any point you don't feel safe then just back away. Have fun. " I agree with that. When I first joined the site I made quite a few friends in the chat rooms. Not been in there for months though. | |||
"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?" I guarantee you most guys wish they got contacted first now and again. Take any no thanks you may possibly get as people who have bad taste lol. | |||
"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it
Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens."Well after all women ARE from Venus | |||
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"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward . JJ x
I'm exactly the same! I started all polite like you said...Hi, really like your profile etc... but this didn't seem to have much effect! Mind you, I did try a more straight forward approach after that, and that particular message got deleted aswell!! "Thanks for that help ....lol JJ x | |||
"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did? Im the same, i have never made first contact with anyone, even in clubs i never make the first move, if i see a guy i like i just keep walking past him in the hope i grab his attention and he gives me some kind of sign hes interested, if he dont then i feel i havnt made a fool of myself by asking him for him to say no, im also the same with guys i have met, i never ask anyone for a re meet, i think a lot take that as im not interested, when thats not always the case i just wait for them to ask me first, again that way i know they want to meet me again without making a fool of myself by asking them only for them to say no, if i see someone on here i like the look of, i take off my stealth mode and go look at their profile again so they can see i have looked at them then i go back into stealth mode before i look at anyone else, that way i will get their attention and if they like the look of me hopefully mail me, it does actually work i have got a lot of meets by doing that
I guess we just do it the way that works for us, im not a very confident person so i do it the way i feel best"Omgosh, you sound just like me | |||
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