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Making first contact

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm rubbish at it too.

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By *emmefataleWoman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

When i was single ALL my meets were through me making first contact, i used to get the meets I wanted then.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks

I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When i was single ALL my meets were through me making first contact, i used to get the meets I wanted then. "

Oh I wish, I've always been backward at coming forward, never been good at getting the guys I want, once I have them tho, that's a different matter, don't mind asking for what I want then

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By *emmefataleWoman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"When i was single ALL my meets were through me making first contact, i used to get the meets I wanted then.

Oh I wish, I've always been backward at coming forward, never been good at getting the guys I want, once I have them tho, that's a different matter, don't mind asking for what I want then "

Thats the only way fab worked for me, i used to message 5 guys i liked the look of, id get on average 4 messages back then by the time id talked and found out a bit more about them id meet two, better than getting exasperated with your inbox trust me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its always nice to have the women make the first move especially as most of you tend to have so many people after you.

I would say take the plunge you might just suprise yourself, I have more or less stopped sending them out now.

She who dares wins

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

"

Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first "

Good luck, you'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?"

I would offer my self to you by making the first move but you don't like smokers x

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By *kmale421Man  over a year ago

wirral


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens."

If anyone messages me, just call me ET....

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By *eryBigGirlWoman  over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I'm rubbish at it too but mainly down to the fact that I am aware I'm an acquired taste so leave it to the guys to contact me!! But if its a guy I've already met then I have no hesitation in contacting for a meet!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Were all rubbish at it lol. It's the nature of a site....you can't make eye contact or spot a smile. In fact at times its like a job application, but an understanding response is clear indication of a pleasant soul. Be genuine and the genuine folk will shine through.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

I'm ok at it. I just need to get my first meet outta the way. I'll be a bit nervous at first

Good luck, you'll be fine "

Fingers crossed. And toes and eyes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens.

If anyone messages me, just call me ET...."

Careful with that glowing end

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By *ezebelWoman  over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Most of the people Ive met have been where I have made first contact.

I think its a bit unfair for people to complain about rubbish first messages etc when they dont bother sending them themselves.

Besides, I prefer to find what I want, rather than waiting to see what Im offered....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I usually hold me left had up, keeping my index finger and middle finger together and my ring finger and little figner together also, then move the two sets of fingers apart creating a sort of 'v' shape and then I say, "Live long and prosper."

It's usually met with "are you some sort of fucking nutter mate?" before they piss off back to their car.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Im crap at it too. Im always talking to quite a few people and we becoming good friends. But im not juat able to say 'lets meet on this day'. Im always waiting for them to make the first move and ask me to meet.

Lost out on a lot of meets due to this. Think to myself that if they like me and have been chatting to me for such time, they will ask to meet. I dont want to seem pushy and ask for a meet. But maybe i should x

But hey, tis is the life of a swinger. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Im crap at it too. Im always talking to quite a few people and we becoming good friends. But im not juat able to say 'lets meet on this day'. Im always waiting for them to make the first move and ask me to meet.

Lost out on a lot of meets due to this. Think to myself that if they like me and have been chatting to me for such time, they will ask to meet. I dont want to seem pushy and ask for a meet. But maybe i should x

But hey, tis is the life of a swinger. Good luck x

"

And if they've analysed it similarly then that's a silly way to not meet someone and potentially have some great some great sex with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm not shy at all, I just find it difficult to make that first move, maybe I should fire off a few winks and see what happens.

I have a cpl of times asked guys to meet and been let down, maybe that's why I'm a bit reluctant to do it now, but I suppose like someone said, if I make the first move I'll be getting what I want. Hmmmm

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush

Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you "

Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have seen you on cam many times. Your beautiful. You should be confident. If i was within your age range, i would have loved to contact you.

But knowing me, i wouldnt have asked for a meet as of yet. Then i would lose out haha x

Im in such a pickle x

You girls are all lush. Be confident with yourself and that will show. Then you wont have a seconds rest hehe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

im crap at making first contact, my messages seem to come over the wrong way lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I am sure the response women get making the first move won't be as bad as men making the first move. I sent one wink once and have enjoyed every meet I have had with that person.

I have sent some messages and been blocked.

Maybe that should be my challenge for 2013. That or the shut up shop one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Most of the people Ive met have been where I have made first contact.

I think its a bit unfair for people to complain about rubbish first messages etc when they dont bother sending them themselves.

Besides, I prefer to find what I want, rather than waiting to see what Im offered.... "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it "

I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I never make first contact anymore, the last few times I have the guys suddenly come over all arrogant and have spoke to me like crap

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's very very rare anyone makes contact with me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it

I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try "

Tuts @ word victim your gorjus and you should go for what you want

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I am on a bit of a I am not sending message type mood at the moment.. However when I am active in meeting then I will send messages an usually a well thought out one.. if they reply they reply if not move on to the next one... xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!

"

haha ditto

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you

Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete "

Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself?

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By *ezebelWoman  over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"I never make first contact anymore, the last few times I have the guys suddenly come over all arrogant and have spoke to me like crap "

Yes has happened to me a few times too, but if guys stopped making contact every time someone got snotty there would be a bit of a drought out there....

You just have do what we say about everything else - ignore it and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am on a bit of a I am not sending message type mood at the moment.. However when I am active in meeting then I will send messages an usually a well thought out one.. if they reply they reply if not move on to the next one... xx"

your quite a rarity on here miss

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I never make first contact anymore, the last few times I have the guys suddenly come over all arrogant and have spoke to me like crap "

Well you don't deserve that hun, but you shouldn't let that stop you, there are lots of respectful, nice guys out there.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it

I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try "

You need a kick up the arse with your self confidence Mrs... You are a gorgeous lovely woman... Just take the bull by the horns and go for it..... !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you

Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete

Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself? "

Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!

"

Baa, bleet, ba, ba, baaaaaaaa. Hope it was as good for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm also crap at making a first contact with someone as I usually suffer from what I want to say in my head getting lost in translation to my fingers!

Baa, bleet, ba, ba, baaaaaaaa. Hope it was as good for you "

You silver tongued devil you!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Been telling you for ages to go for it .. Glad you've finally decided to seriously think about it

I know hun, but you know my confidence isn't the best and I'm not good at it, but I will find a victim and give it a try

You need a kick up the arse with your self confidence Mrs... You are a gorgeous lovely woman... Just take the bull by the horns and go for it..... !!!"

Awwwww ty hun if I do get my arse kicked and go for it, I could be sending messages till next Christmas....there's a lot of flippin nice people out there lol

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you

Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete

Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself?

Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then "

Not if you call me sugarkisses I will just forward it on lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Just say oi oi I'm sugarkisses. Very pleased to message you

Haha that's exactly the kind of message I get and delete

Is there two sugarkisses or you message yourself?

Haha smart arse, I wont be sending you a message then

Not if you call me sugarkisses I will just forward it on lol"

Haha ok maybe I will send you one, but what are you gonna do with it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You lot should try being a single man for a day!! At least you'll more than likely get a response!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You lot should try being a single man for a day!! At least you'll more than likely get a response! "

Haha and you should try being a single woman, get some of the messages we get lol, it's swings and roundabouts

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "

How could men turn you down ur stunning x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sometimes the first messages that we send, come out wrong and refleft us in a way that we arent.

I like people to try and get to know me, so they know what kind of person i am. And i do genuinely give them a nice surprise.

The messages that i write are too well thought out (apparently it shows that i am thinking too much) i have been told and apparently too long.

But, i thought individuals wanted unique, genuine messages. Sonetimes you just cant win.

Sugar Kisses..keep an eye on my profile. Once im thirty your more than welcome to message me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "

you're joking, i cant believe you get replies like that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "

Maybe that is what he fancied at that time.. Varity is the spice of life... though not very tactful I must say..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "

well i know what id tell him, and i agree, some guys dont know when there lucky, i bet he feels special now, thinking hes got two women chasing himm

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy! "

Variety is the spice of life....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy!

Variety is the spice of life...."

Definitely

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By *ezebelWoman  over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "

Just shows that us fat old birds still have pulling power

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not having a type is fine...... What isn't is telling us he can't be free for the next 3 weeks and then arranging a meet openly in chat for tomorrow after already saying he was too busy.... Just a no would of done

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special "

Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is possible to not have a type, I like slim women and bbws. If someone is sexy, they are sexy!

Variety is the spice of life...."

Oi cheeky chops!! Thats my line lol variety is definately the spice of life, and i have the spices to go with it tooo lol.

Hungry now. Going to go and do aome cooking. Hope you all have a good day.

Ps. TJandM your special..i have seen you in the chat rooms. Your lush (have to give credit where its due)

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Not having a type is fine...... What isn't is telling us he can't be free for the next 3 weeks and then arranging a meet openly in chat for tomorrow after already saying he was too busy.... Just a no would of done "

That is a different matter. I have given up trying to work out what the "too busy" really means. For some it can mean that they fancy something different and couldn't commit to being in a certain place at a certain time when asked. For others it can mean they are game players. Only you can decide whether you are still happy to meet him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special

Just shows that us fat old birds still have pulling power "

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Got chatting to a nice lady on Boxing day evening, met for a coffee the next day, guess she liked my dodgy jokes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm rubbish at it, hence I don't send messages often if at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Try getting replies like..... Sorry I'm looking for bbws or mature ladies.... That's a real ego booster now I just send ' your cute, fancy a fuck!' If its good enough for single men its good enough for us ladies "

I'd never send a message like that after reading some ladies profiles (yes I read them)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have yet to make the first contact on FAB or the paid site I was on.

However, after a meet, if I like the person and the event sufficient enough to consider meeting again, I shall let him know about it right away, via verification, text or otherwise.

I shall then leave it up to the gent to contact me to arrange future meets if he wishes to do so, and would not pester him with messages etc...

I have on the rare occasions contacted gents I have met before to ask if they are interested in meeting again. If they say no, then I shall leave it at that and move on.

;-)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am Fuckutus of borg

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By *pecifically1Woman  over a year ago

Hull


"I'm rubbish at it too but mainly down to the fact that I am aware I'm an acquired taste so leave it to the guys to contact me!! But if its a guy I've already met then I have no hesitation in contacting for a meet!!"

I am excatly the other way round...I am terrible at asking for the 2nd meet...fear of rejection most definately...

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By *o-jCouple  over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward .

JJ x

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks

I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message"

I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again.

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward .

I like sexually suggestive messages!! I love getting first messages from women, even the ones that say 'no chance sucker, dream on and don't look at my profile again' type ones.

JJ x

"

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

What happens there then? My post was in the middle of hers....

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By *am123Man  over a year ago

essex chelmsford


"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks

I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message

I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again."

thats a good way, bt mst be like a job interview 4 the poor guy

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I am more rubbish at saying not interested when they ask me at meets and often say yes I would love to when I really want to say no thanks

I have messaged people first, mostly though due to their status but don't think I have ever done the first introductory message

I dont like to offend people either; I say before a meet that I will only meet socially and that I will go away after the meet and consider whether I want to meet for playtimes. I realise it sounds a bit stilted but that way I would never end up in an awkward situation. I let them know by phone or email whether or not I will meet again. thats a good way, bt mst be like a job interview 4 the poor guy "

lol.. I know what you mean and I sometimes say that to them.. sorry if this feels like an interview where you are being notified afterwards. Tbh it is not quite like that... and if I have really good vibes about a guy I would say so on the day. It is really more for those situations where I feel that something is missing in the chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Haven't really sent many first messages, but have sent winks to see if there is a bite! If they wink back then I'll send a message. Think it's a confidence thing as I know not all men like larger women. Have no issue asking for a follow up meet though if I want one as I can be fairly sure they'll reply, and even if it's a no I would expect it to be polite if we have met before

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By *infordMan  over a year ago

London

I dont get much luck sending out messages but at the clubs when your personality as well as looks can shine through, thats where I get my success. Then it can be backed up on the site.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?"

Im the same, i have never made first contact with anyone, even in clubs i never make the first move, if i see a guy i like i just keep walking past him in the hope i grab his attention and he gives me some kind of sign hes interested, if he dont then i feel i havnt made a fool of myself by asking him for him to say no, im also the same with guys i have met, i never ask anyone for a re meet, i think a lot take that as im not interested, when thats not always the case i just wait for them to ask me first, again that way i know they want to meet me again without making a fool of myself by asking them only for them to say no, if i see someone on here i like the look of, i take off my stealth mode and go look at their profile again so they can see i have looked at them then i go back into stealth mode before i look at anyone else, that way i will get their attention and if they like the look of me hopefully mail me, it does actually work i have got a lot of meets by doing that

I guess we just do it the way that works for us, im not a very confident person so i do it the way i feel best

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would not make the first move - and never have done. Despite my confident outgoing nature I am a tiny bit old fashioned in the sense that for me it is up to the guy to make the first move.

And before I get shot by the more emancipated ladies on here... I know it is not pc... but hey that is how I was raised and I am comfortable with it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?"

I've never sent first message, takes all my time to reply to messages I get, never have time to go browse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would not make the first move - and never have done. Despite my confident outgoing nature I am a tiny bit old fashioned in the sense that for me it is up to the guy to make the first move.

And before I get shot by the more emancipated ladies on here... I know it is not pc... but hey that is how I was raised and I am comfortable with it. "

act like a lady.. now open ur legs..now u arent! woohooo xxx

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I would not make the first move - and never have done. Despite my confident outgoing nature I am a tiny bit old fashioned in the sense that for me it is up to the guy to make the first move.

And before I get shot by the more emancipated ladies on here... I know it is not pc... but hey that is how I was raised and I am comfortable with it.

act like a lady.. now open ur legs..now u arent! woohooo xxx"

PMSL (Not very ladylike I know ) ...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special

Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth."

I'm not sure why anyone would think a rejection like that was a kick in the teeth.

I never get mail because I've set my profile so I don't show up on searches. I can't understand anyone that would want to spend ages trawling through unsuitable messages.

I always send first mails. And most of the time I don't get replies...

I think I must really be a single male??!!

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By *igerstyle2k2Man  over a year ago

Oxfordshire

I was actually thinking about this the other day.

Do single ladies or couples actively send out mails to people they are after or just sit back and wait for people to contact them?

As for making first contact and sending unique messages, I make each mail I send unique but it's uber rare I get a reply. The most memorable one was a lady who questioned my body and asked if I was a drug addict. Lovely lady...

It can be difficult to get first messages correct as the majority or people on here don't reply to people they're not interested in so there's no feedback. With no feedback you can't improve anything, it's a vicious cycle.

I know stick with it, send out messages, go to social etc.

I just wish there were some more polite people on here.

Oh well each to their own.

I'm still sending out messages and chatting, hoping to find some people to play with.

Happy swinging all!

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By *o-jCouple  over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

I send out messages on behalf of myself and as a couple . But I'm never quite sure what to say ( see earlier post ) maybe I'm too formal , innocent , polite or maybe just sound boring .

Basically whats the best way to chat up you single ladies ......

Joanne x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

IMHO, everyone suffers rejection blues from time to time.

Luckily, mine don't last long, as I have other interests in life to keep me busy and occupied.

Besides, I know I am not everyone's cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward .

JJ x

"

I'm exactly the same! I started all polite like you said...Hi, really like your profile etc... but this didn't seem to have much effect! Mind you, I did try a more straight forward approach after that, and that particular message got deleted aswell!!

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"IMHO, everyone suffers rejection blues from time to time.

Luckily, mine don't last long, as I have other interests in life to keep me busy and occupied.

Besides, I know I am not everyone's cup of tea.

"

In what way?

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"We just arranged a meet with someone for my birthday next month because he was too busy before New Years..... Last night in chat he was arranging a meet with a lady both twice my size and age for tomorrow.... That's a slight kick in the teeth.... I don't expect a marriage proposal but i like to feel slightly special

Why is that a kick in the teeth? As an older fat woman should I feel offended if a man I plan to meet also meets young, slim women? If that's the case then everyone I have met has kicked me in the teeth.

I'm not sure why anyone would think a rejection like that was a kick in the teeth.

I never get mail because I've set my profile so I don't show up on searches. I can't understand anyone that would want to spend ages trawling through unsuitable messages.

I always send first mails. And most of the time I don't get replies...

I think I must really be a single male??!! "

Don't be daft Norman

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Best thing to do to get started is get on a cam in the chat rooms. That way people can see you and basically know that you're not a fake. Be yourself and be honest with people. After a while you'll come to know a few people on there and eventually you'll build up a friend group and then take it from there.

Remember if at any point you don't feel safe then just back away.

Have fun.

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By *Ryan-Man  over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Best thing to do to get started is get on a cam in the chat rooms. That way people can see you and basically know that you're not a fake. Be yourself and be honest with people. After a while you'll come to know a few people on there and eventually you'll build up a friend group and then take it from there.

Remember if at any point you don't feel safe then just back away.

Have fun. "

I agree with that. When I first joined the site I made quite a few friends in the chat rooms. Not been in there for months though.

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By *he Happy ManMan  over a year ago

Merseyside


"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?"

I guarantee you most guys wish they got contacted first now and again. Take any no thanks you may possibly get as people who have bad taste lol.

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By *ll-Knight-longMan  over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)


"I thought this was a thread about aliens when @ saw it

Are you sure it isn't? I still think it's about aliens."

Well after all women ARE from Venus

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By *iggamanMan  over a year ago

London

i like it when a lady makes first contact and of course i would like it more often

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By *o-jCouple  over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts


"I'm not very good at sending messages , I think I'm being too sensible , things hi my name Joanne love your profile please look at my profile if you'd like to know anything or chat please get in touch etc , ( I don't tpye etc ) doesn't work , but I'm worried about putting rude things as it feels a bit forward .

JJ x

I'm exactly the same! I started all polite like you said...Hi, really like your profile etc... but this didn't seem to have much effect! Mind you, I did try a more straight forward approach after that, and that particular message got deleted aswell!! "

Thanks for that help ....lol

JJ x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at it, I'm a single woman and often see guys I think mmmmm nice, but I've never been good at biting the bullet and making the first contact, or even if we've met before, asking if they want to meet again, even if I would like to, pathetic I know lol, so, ladies do you enjoy making first contact with guys? and you guys, how do you feel about ladies making the first contact with you, do you wish more ladies did?

Im the same, i have never made first contact with anyone, even in clubs i never make the first move, if i see a guy i like i just keep walking past him in the hope i grab his attention and he gives me some kind of sign hes interested, if he dont then i feel i havnt made a fool of myself by asking him for him to say no, im also the same with guys i have met, i never ask anyone for a re meet, i think a lot take that as im not interested, when thats not always the case i just wait for them to ask me first, again that way i know they want to meet me again without making a fool of myself by asking them only for them to say no, if i see someone on here i like the look of, i take off my stealth mode and go look at their profile again so they can see i have looked at them then i go back into stealth mode before i look at anyone else, that way i will get their attention and if they like the look of me hopefully mail me, it does actually work i have got a lot of meets by doing that

I guess we just do it the way that works for us, im not a very confident person so i do it the way i feel best"

Omgosh, you sound just like me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Terrible at it ,I get so nervous !

Once I know someone I'm fine and I'm still good friends with folk I met years ago , its just that first hurdle that's so hard .

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