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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry

I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

What's your idea of a successful life?

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry

Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being

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By *akeanyoneMan  over a year ago

LH

I'm the same age, and I improve myself every year, that may look different for different people, but I deem that as success

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By *ookingfun82Man  over a year ago

Enniskillen

I'll be 41 this year as well. Similar thoughts. For me I was never ambitious enough for my ability (or my ex wife) and was in a disastrous marriage which has taken it's toll, hit my ambition and application both in work and personally.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

I just saw your status.

Successful I think is a bit different from happiness.

I don't have the material outward things of success.

My life is however so rich and vibrant that I can't really complain. Yes it's hard but I'm making the most of it and I intend to wring every last bit of living out of life that I can until I'm 80.

When I'm 80, I will pinch the ( male) nurses bottoms and tell dirty jokes in the nursing home and wind up the other residents.

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By *s2pervsCouple  over a year ago

Truro


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

Successful relative to what?

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By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford


"What's your idea of a successful life?"

Exactly. I've achieved very few of the things I wanted when I was 18. But I've had a beautiful life so far.

Being alive and conscious, considered properly, is already an extraordinary success, against the eternal cold of the lifeless universe, or the dark wastes of Time. Beyond that, to truly love and be loved, to do work you know to be worthwhile, to believe you make the world happier...these are the successes that matter.

Be kind to yourself. Relish small wins. Enjoy small pleasures.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being"

My failed marriage put an end to my soul mate seeking. I've been single for 9 years and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

And I'm very content. I'm not walking around with my head in the clouds. But I 'm proud of me for doing what I've done and getting through some real shitty aspects of life. I have zero regrets.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

I don't have 40 yrs left. I'm not going to worry about what could have been. Maybe concentrate on what can be.

In saying that,

things rarely go to plan...for me at least.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

How imminent is your birthday, OP?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

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By *untime40Man  over a year ago

.


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

It depends how high your setting your goals

Some one who would now be in their 60s would have probably have been in a very different place to where we are now for example i know i will never own my own place im not able to raise the deposit and banks stear clear having never had a mortgage. I spent my 20s quiet ill and surfed the agencys self employed i got my main job when i was 30 worked hard and worked my way up, to a manager some people would say done that when i was in my 20s what im trying to get at is as long as your happy and healthy thats all you need no one can take anything with them just enjoy life and greet everyone with a smile

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being"

Ok what do you think is preventing that?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I'll be 41 this year as well. Similar thoughts. For me I was never ambitious enough for my ability (or my ex wife) and was in a disastrous marriage which has taken it's toll, hit my ambition and application both in work and personally."

I used to be career ambitious but that was because that was the only validation I got as a child. Obsessing with overachieving. I burnout at 31, ended up in the secure psych ward and crushed my former marriage with my unrelenting need to overwork myself.

Now I do fuck all if it's going to land me back in the hospital and drag other people along for the ride.

I self-validate and I have nothing more to prove to anyone. Life for a Millenial has been tough and it's not just me it's my former classmates. About 3 are dead already so the fact that I'm alive despite various things trying to kill me is a miracle in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I sat and typed a great big looooooong response to this. I’m 41 (you’d be my toyboy, OP ), and I’ve had birthdays where I’ve woken up and thought - I haven’t achieved anything this year. I have. You have. Even realising you might need to step back a bit from fabs - that takes strength!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

I will be 43 this year, and after dealing with quite a lot of "life shit" I now feel ready to move on and take on the world...but I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to live...I just feel a bit unfulfilled and restless. Just need to take some time to work it all out, I guess

Mrs

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I'll be 41 this year as well. Similar thoughts. For me I was never ambitious enough for my ability (or my ex wife) and was in a disastrous marriage which has taken it's toll, hit my ambition and application both in work and personally.

I used to be career ambitious but that was because that was the only validation I got as a child. Obsessing with overachieving. I burnout at 31, ended up in the secure psych ward and crushed my former marriage with my unrelenting need to overwork myself.

Now I do fuck all if it's going to land me back in the hospital and drag other people along for the ride.

I self-validate and I have nothing more to prove to anyone. Life for a Millenial has been tough and it's not just me it's my former classmates. About 3 are dead already so the fact that I'm alive despite various things trying to kill me is a miracle in itself."

Sorry to hear about your friends.

Sounds like you have been through so much but your still here standing and now doing it on your terms..more power to you x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"What's your idea of a successful life?

Exactly. I've achieved very few of the things I wanted when I was 18. But I've had a beautiful life so far.

Being alive and conscious, considered properly, is already an extraordinary success, against the eternal cold of the lifeless universe, or the dark wastes of Time. Beyond that, to truly love and be loved, to do work you know to be worthwhile, to believe you make the world happier...these are the successes that matter.

Be kind to yourself. Relish small wins. Enjoy small pleasures. "

Hear Hear Ele!

I've achieved some of my childhood dreams.

I'm alive, fat, fed, watered, sheltered and unfettered.

Love and lost.

Lots of sex.

Done some worthwhile and fulfilling work.

I'm also sane,( relatively compared to actually being sectioned), stable,( no MH crisis team seeing me daily) safe,( I live being three security doors) secure, ( I've had the same job for 9 years and the same housing for 6 years) and solvent. ( zero debt)

Relationships and family would be nice but I don't have the capacity for being an easy person in a relationship. I terrify most men. If I want children, I would have to be a single mother by choice. IVF, Adopt or foster.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I sat and typed a great big looooooong response to this. I’m 41 (you’d be my toyboy, OP ), and I’ve had birthdays where I’ve woken up and thought - I haven’t achieved anything this year. I have. You have. Even realising you might need to step back a bit from fabs - that takes strength!"

There was meant to be a bit more on the end there

Someone once said to me - it's never too late to change your life

That’s my lot now, promise

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I don't have 40 yrs left. I'm not going to worry about what could have been. Maybe concentrate on what can be.

In saying that,

things rarely go to plan...for me at least."

I don't know how many years I have left. I'm aiming for age 80 but I know my brain and my body has taken decades of abuse and dementia runs in my family.

I don't make big plans and goals anymore. My new years resolutions are stay out of hospital ( as an inpatient), stay out of prison and stay out of the grave. I've been crushing those since 2016. 2015 I was sectioned as an inpatient on a secure psych ward. Not great but I guess needed at the time.

I'd say I'm so far successful in my recovery journey. But I don't do things that would cause a relapse.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If Fab is making you more miserable it's probably best to take a break or leave. I've read your status and you do sound fed up being on here.

But seriously, 41 isn't old. I joke a lot about hitting my 30s soon and feeling like an elderly person, but it's still SO young, and even at 40 you still have so much time to meet someone, to do things you love and live a fulfilling life. Start looking at ways to make things happen.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

Leave Fab and better yourself

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41"

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I don't have 40 yrs left. I'm not going to worry about what could have been. Maybe concentrate on what can be.

In saying that,

things rarely go to plan...for me at least.

I don't know how many years I have left. I'm aiming for age 80 but I know my brain and my body has taken decades of abuse and dementia runs in my family.

I don't make big plans and goals anymore. My new years resolutions are stay out of hospital ( as an inpatient), stay out of prison and stay out of the grave. I've been crushing those since 2016. 2015 I was sectioned as an inpatient on a secure psych ward. Not great but I guess needed at the time.

I'd say I'm so far successful in my recovery journey. But I don't do things that would cause a relapse."

Yes....recovery and relapse prevention are where it all starts and ends for me. The rest takes care if itself.

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By *ainyDaySunshineMan  over a year ago

Ayrshire


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

You made it to 40. Some haven't even managed that.

Turn the frown upside down and go for it mate. I find the older you get, the less tolerance of bs and you appreciate life more.

Happy Fabbing

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful.

It depends how high your setting your goals

Some one who would now be in their 60s would have probably have been in a very different place to where we are now for example i know i will never own my own place im not able to raise the deposit and banks stear clear having never had a mortgage. I spent my 20s quiet ill and surfed the agencys self employed i got my main job when i was 30 worked hard and worked my way up, to a manager some people would say done that when i was in my 20s what im trying to get at is as long as your happy and healthy thats all you need no one can take anything with them just enjoy life and greet everyone with a smile "

I overworked myself from ages 18-31 at a time when I should have been healing. I have to blame the NHS for that one.

I ask for help from the NHS when I was 18/19. Only to find out at 40 that I have autistic traits and complex PTSD.

I'm still having panic attacks and flashbacks from things in my childhood. So now in middle age, I am disabled from having the neurotypical life and have to spend exorbitant amounts of time undoing 40 years of wiring and conditioning.

Still I'm grateful and happy to be alive and sane because I know people who didn't make it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I sat and typed a great big looooooong response to this. I’m 41 (you’d be my toyboy, OP ), and I’ve had birthdays where I’ve woken up and thought - I haven’t achieved anything this year. I have. You have. Even realising you might need to step back a bit from fabs - that takes strength!"

what have I achieved in the last 12 month. I'm alive. I wasn't sectioned and I wasn't arrested.

That's good enough for me now.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous."

It took.me a year for me to fall in.love with h and I knew I'd be with him forever.To death do we psrt

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By *mp411Man  over a year ago

chester


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

Do you want your name

To echo through eternity like Achilles,Plato,Socrates. Start a revolution Or be forgotten in a couple of generations carry on the way you are

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful.

I will be 43 this year, and after dealing with quite a lot of "life shit" I now feel ready to move on and take on the world...but I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to live...I just feel a bit unfulfilled and restless. Just need to take some time to work it all out, I guess

Mrs "

I'm ready to retire from the world. I'm exhausted. I even looked up joining a nunnery/convent.

But since I had therapy, I decided that I can't leave my parents and my younger sibling like that. So I just have to muddle through as best I can. Until Death's sweet release.

And by muddle through I mean wade through the bereft of halls of society and Fab and then squeeze as much as I can get out of it without compromising myself. Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I'll be 41 this year as well. Similar thoughts. For me I was never ambitious enough for my ability (or my ex wife) and was in a disastrous marriage which has taken it's toll, hit my ambition and application both in work and personally.

I used to be career ambitious but that was because that was the only validation I got as a child. Obsessing with overachieving. I burnout at 31, ended up in the secure psych ward and crushed my former marriage with my unrelenting need to overwork myself.

Now I do fuck all if it's going to land me back in the hospital and drag other people along for the ride.

I self-validate and I have nothing more to prove to anyone. Life for a Millenial has been tough and it's not just me it's my former classmates. About 3 are dead already so the fact that I'm alive despite various things trying to kill me is a miracle in itself.

Sorry to hear about your friends.

Sounds like you have been through so much but your still here standing and now doing it on your terms..more power to you x "

Thanks. I'm definitely doing it on my terms. I had a go at the receptionist at my GP the other day because he thought it would be a good idea for me to miss 5 doses of antidepressants and mood stabalisers.

Years ago I would have gone along with what he said and probably ended up in A & E suicidal.

But I stood my ground and I said do you know what happens when you stop mental health medication cold turkey? You end up fucking dead. Are you telling me over the phone that you are now willing to risk my life for 5 days because your admin can't get its act together when I submitted the repeat prescription request on time?

Poor lad passed me to the head receptionist who quickly said I was absolutely right and sent my medication to the pharmacy tout de suite!

The sibling has also been on the blunt end when they wanted to interfere with what I said and didn't say in NHS confidential group. I told them straight you don't get to tell me how to look after my mental health when they are the ones keeping me alive when you are not here!

I can be as sweet as pie but I'm done sacrificing my brain to fit other people's ( aka society's) narrative.

I will never stop being MAVERICK.

A lot of the despair, feeling like a failure and insecurity, we feel is created by other people and society.

And I'm definitely sticking two fingers up to that.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple  over a year ago

Fucksville

I'm 41 this year and all I want is for me and my family to be happy, that's my successful life x I'm trying to say yes to more things and do things I wouldn't normally just to see what life's like living that way, pushing a few boundaries could lead anywhere..

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By *ookingfun82Man  over a year ago

Enniskillen


"I'll be 41 this year as well. Similar thoughts. For me I was never ambitious enough for my ability (or my ex wife) and was in a disastrous marriage which has taken it's toll, hit my ambition and application both in work and personally.

I used to be career ambitious but that was because that was the only validation I got as a child. Obsessing with overachieving. I burnout at 31, ended up in the secure psych ward and crushed my former marriage with my unrelenting need to overwork myself.

Now I do fuck all if it's going to land me back in the hospital and drag other people along for the ride.

I self-validate and I have nothing more to prove to anyone. Life for a Millenial has been tough and it's not just me it's my former classmates. About 3 are dead already so the fact that I'm alive despite various things trying to kill me is a miracle in itself."

Opposite sides of the coin. I am or was smart or intelligent enough to have done nearly anything but never pushed myself enough or didn't put myself out of my comfortzone enough and feel I have wasted the abilities I have and what has happened in personal life has taken away any drive to do anything about it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous.It took.me a year for me to fall in.love with h and I knew I'd be with him forever.To death do we psrt"

I have a disorganized anxious/avoidant attachment style. I have BPD/ EUPD which is often characterized by the book " I hate you, don't leave me" That's why I've written in my profile the emotional intelligence of a psychotherapist.

My brain tries to destroy me and take others down with me. Most people haven't got the capacity to deal with that in a life partnership and that's ok.

On top of that I mask things until I burn out, meltdown, get overwhelmed and reach crisis point.

I'm on Fab to make a small connection that doesn't drown me or the other person/people.

I'm content with that. It's enough.

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being"

OP, I'm a similar age to you - ok, a little older! - and I think everyone has similar periods of evaluating and re-evaluating what they have or haven't "achieved", nearly always against some arbitrary targets. I know I do.

But, and while I understand what you're saying about a relationship, I'm afraid that's not fully within your control, so I'd be careful not to hold yourself to a measure of success that may be unreachable, no matter how hard you try. By all means go and do what you can to find a long-term relationship, if that's what you want, but be careful not to set yourself up to fail...

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"

Opposite sides of the coin. I am or was smart or intelligent enough to have done nearly anything but never pushed myself enough or didn't put myself out of my comfortzone enough and feel I have wasted the abilities I have and what has happened in personal life has taken away any drive to do anything about it."

My amateur but peer experience is if you find the root cause of why you didn't push yourself out of your comfort zone and work on that.....you will find that you will feel the FEAR and do it anyway. Remember Fear Factor.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being

OP, I'm a similar age to you - ok, a little older! - and I think everyone has similar periods of evaluating and re-evaluating what they have or haven't "achieved", nearly always against some arbitrary targets. I know I do.

But, and while I understand what you're saying about a relationship, I'm afraid that's not fully within your control, so I'd be careful not to hold yourself to a measure of success that may be unreachable, no matter how hard you try. By all means go and do what you can to find a long-term relationship, if that's what you want, but be careful not to set yourself up to fail..."

I control very little. My brain wiring is unfortunately unpredictable to the point of debilitation.

Getting out of bed and making a cup of tea can be routine or like climbing Everest.

There's a lot of things I don't bother with anymore unless I know it will cause a mental health section admission.

Career? I don't bother. Relationships/Friendships? I don't bother Financial stability? I don't bother. Family life? I don't bother. Body goals? I don't bother. Couples goals? I don't bother. Crypto-Harry & Megan-Boris-rail strikes. I don't bother. lol!

I spend most of my energy staying relatively sane, stable, secure and safe. I don't have spoons left over for other things.

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By *gent CoulsonMan  over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I turn 61 in 8 days, I'm still breathing, I'm still fucking and I still enjoy my job.

My bills are paid, I have food in the cupboards and freezer

I would say that's successful

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Never tie your happiness to another person ,

I always think you need to to be happy with yourself regardless of your relationship status

People differ so what you think is success,might not be to others .

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I turn 61 in 8 days, I'm still breathing, I'm still fucking and I still enjoy my job.

My bills are paid, I have food in the cupboards and freezer

I would say that's successful "

Sounds good to me x

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If finding love is your main goal ,you still have lots of time op .

If you're not looking if often finds you .I hope you do find what your after .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

What gauge are you using to gauge success with, is what I'm thinking

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"How imminent is your birthday, OP?"
hi Annabelle, it’s in two days. So soon.

Ps thanks for all the replies, interesting responses

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"Mmm it interesting because everyone sees things differently, but I consider being with someone you can consider your soul mate and in a happy relationship a successful way of being

Ok what do you think is preventing that?"

I guess propper ways of meeting people now, being a little introverted probably dosent help in an extroverts world.

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By *icolerobbieCouple  over a year ago

walsall

Many people don’t live to be 41. You are much more successful than some. Embrace each day and don’t take them for granted.

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"I sat and typed a great big looooooong response to this. I’m 41 (you’d be my toyboy, OP ), and I’ve had birthdays where I’ve woken up and thought - I haven’t achieved anything this year. I have. You have. Even realising you might need to step back a bit from fabs - that takes strength!"

You are lovely, I’d be happy to be whatever for you, we should meet up to discuss our successes together, deal?

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"I don't have 40 yrs left. I'm not going to worry about what could have been. Maybe concentrate on what can be.

In saying that,

things rarely go to plan...for me at least.

I don't know how many years I have left. I'm aiming for age 80 but I know my brain and my body has taken decades of abuse and dementia runs in my family.

I don't make big plans and goals anymore. My new years resolutions are stay out of hospital ( as an inpatient), stay out of prison and stay out of the grave. I've been crushing those since 2016. 2015 I was sectioned as an inpatient on a secure psych ward. Not great but I guess needed at the time.

I'd say I'm so far successful in my recovery journey. But I don't do things that would cause a relapse."

So good to hear so many positive people in here,

I raised lots to dementia because of family a year ago. Was handed over in person and so nice to see the research they are currently carrying out for a preventive method

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"If Fab is making you more miserable it's probably best to take a break or leave. I've read your status and you do sound fed up being on here.

But seriously, 41 isn't old. I joke a lot about hitting my 30s soon and feeling like an elderly person, but it's still SO young, and even at 40 you still have so much time to meet someone, to do things you love and live a fulfilling life. Start looking at ways to make things happen.

"

I have enjoyed life and I’m currently doing a lot but my character is addicted to bigger and better. I just feel like I’ve been stuck for a while now. X

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous."

I also think the same, I’m rubbish at reading body language and peoples true intentions

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous."

I also think the same, I’m rubbish at reading body language and peoples true intentions

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"Many people don’t live to be 41. You are much more successful than some. Embrace each day and don’t take them for granted."

Totally! X

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By *elaninMaverickWoman  over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I didn't meet.my soul mate and love of my life until I was 41

I don't believe in soul mates. My neurodivergent brain can't get around something so intangible. Furthermore, I can't read body language or tone of voice. So when people say love at first sight, my brain thinks it's incredulous.

I also think the same, I’m rubbish at reading body language and peoples true intentions "

Yeah being an introvert won't help.

My default is introvert but I've worked out that I'm mentally better If I spend half of my week with people.

I might come across as an omni-vert because I can adapt to many different social situations happily but it can confuse people who might think I'm faking it in some of those situations.

A good example are the swingers clubs. They are all different and I like them all for different aspects. Some people only prefer one type of swingers clubs and some people hate swingers clubs.

Logic says we are designed to be social. I know if I start spending too much time on my own I start to disconnect and dissociate and then become anxious and paranoid when I actually have to go out again.

I realized that connecting once a week stops me from sliding into that frame of mind/mindset.

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By *um24 OP   Man  over a year ago

Coventry


"

I realized that connecting once a week stops me from sliding into that frame of mind/mindset."

Where do you go to connect once a week with people, or you just connect online? I feel like I need some form of social life to enjoy more.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful. "

Keep on chasing the dream, it gives you get up and go.

Once you get the big house, the cars and motorcycles, all the clothes you want you just go out and buy, once you've visited all your dream holiday destinations you tend to lose the dream.

There is a lot to be said for working hard and earning cash each month to fill those dreams.

Once you reach your 50's and have gained these dreams you wonder what is next.

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful.

Keep on chasing the dream, it gives you get up and go.

Once you get the big house, the cars and motorcycles, all the clothes you want you just go out and buy, once you've visited all your dream holiday destinations you tend to lose the dream.

There is a lot to be said for working hard and earning cash each month to fill those dreams.

Once you reach your 50's and have gained these dreams you wonder what is next."

Yes!

I was sitting in Armani Hashi earlier eating a crab that cost 3500 while my daughter and a few froebds were excitedly instagramming everything . I was secretly missing cold wet UK and spoons….

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m soon 41 and have not achieved what I consider to be a successful life. I worry that when in another 40 years I will have the same thoughts, anyone want to chat and see what we could do different and to make this a life that is or could be considered successful.

I will be 43 this year, and after dealing with quite a lot of "life shit" I now feel ready to move on and take on the world...but I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to live...I just feel a bit unfulfilled and restless. Just need to take some time to work it all out, I guess

Mrs

I'm ready to retire from the world. I'm exhausted. I even looked up joining a nunnery/convent.

But since I had therapy, I decided that I can't leave my parents and my younger sibling like that. So I just have to muddle through as best I can. Until Death's sweet release.

And by muddle through I mean wade through the bereft of halls of society and Fab and then squeeze as much as I can get out of it without compromising myself. Lol!

"

Glad it's not just me who feels like they need to take a step off of the merry go round that is life for a bit...I am getting therapy and the woman is amazing at unpicking my brain, but like you I just need to keep pushing forward and try to do my best lol

Mrs

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By *929Man  over a year ago

newcastle

40 this year and dreading it, been a shit year past, end of 15 year relationship in February, nearly died of heart attack in June and a childhood friend died in august among other various irrelevant shit thst do t really matter compare to the big things.

Live alone with my son now, miss my daughter every day as she went with her mother when moved out. Life feels mostly pointless. Hopefully this is low point and it pick back up this year

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By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester

I think lack of ambition is the crux of a wasted life ok finding a partner that you love helps but it doesn't preclude ambition, have goals that you want to achieve, see the world, do useful things, be creative, make others happy not just yourself

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