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The 'crap' men spoil it for the good men

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Do they ... or not?

How?

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By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester

Nope how can they

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The crap ones help the good ones stand out?

T

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I just ignore the shit ones and focus on the good

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By *dam1971Man  over a year ago

Bedford

Not really, it helps to make the good ones look better.

I imagine the worst part is that women get so bombarded with messages that sometimes the good ones get missed.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

not for us, we just ignor or block

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By *mily36CWoman  over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"Not really, it helps to make the good ones look better.

I imagine the worst part is that women get so bombarded with messages that sometimes the good ones get missed. "

Thats why it's better to hunt for the needle in the haystack, rather than be bombarded by hay

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Yes they do. In much the same way I put a seat belt on every time I get in a car even though I'm aware that I'm not going to be involved in an accident each journey, I assume all men are crap now until they show me otherwise.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

Do they fuck!

That's just something said to soothe dented egos and justify any lack of perceived 'success'.

Nobody affects your time on Fab other than yourself.

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No they don't but they do set the tone and make women on here more guarded for sure. The worst ones are 'good' until the deed is done.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are good men here?...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not really, it helps to make the good ones look better.

I imagine the worst part is that women get so bombarded with messages that sometimes the good ones get missed. "

I think this is true that some can be missed. But it also can make a woman feel like not bothering as it's quite disconcerting having an inbox full of men who can't be polite or even send a nice thought out message.

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Not really, it helps to make the good ones look better.

I imagine the worst part is that women get so bombarded with messages that sometimes the good ones get missed. "

This is true.

It's also been noticeable (to me) recently that people are very often saying that people should block all men to avoid shitty messages.

So then the 'good' men can't even send a message as they are all blocked.

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By *HaRiFMan  over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

They do actually I see it all the time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

I mean they can make women more likely to be cynical bitter old witches with a list of demands so maybe.

But I also think, if you're a good person, regardless of how twunty others are, that shines through.

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By *adMerWoman  over a year ago

Sandwich

I have to say that I have been fortunate of late.

I have had some great conversations with some lovely people. They may not have been completely to my taste, but they have been polite etc.

I am pretty liberal with the block button though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

crap men spoil it for everyone.

but are there any on fab? no idea..

havent really seen any on the forum tbh. most people seem pretty cool

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By *igJFromSAMan  over a year ago

Woking

Maybe the good men spoil women for the rest . . .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The crap are the first to shout about how hard it is to get a meet on fab, suck it up buttercup

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways. "

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Maybe the good men spoil women for the rest . . ."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I don’t believe that anyone spoils it for anyone.

You make your own path on here. How someone else is on here, won’t effect how your time is on here.

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By *itvclaireTV/TS  over a year ago

Birmingham

As others have said, just makes the good ones stand out

XX

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A"

I don’t know. I don’t, but explain to me why so many women on fab block men from messaging after they have so many ’shit’ messages?

Maybe the assoles on fab are making it better for everyone ? I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A"

But what about when people say "block all men"...?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

No they don't spoil it. I take everyone on an individual basis

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By *rtyIanMan  over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I think the spunktrumpet numpties help those of us that make a bit of effort with pics and profile bios.

I also think that some of the “bad” on the forums definitely help those that make an effort to engage.

Enjoy your evening all you lovely people x

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

They don't make it easy, and some days it feels that way. But they show their true colours pretty quickly and are easy to we'ed out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes they do OP.

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By *weetiepie99Woman  over a year ago

cardiff


"No I don’t believe that anyone spoils it for anyone.

You make your own path on here. How someone else is on here, won’t effect how your time is on here."

You are wise beyond your years!

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By *hil most chillMan  over a year ago

South East & Europe

Nah they just make me look even better

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By *ikeC81Man  over a year ago

harrow

I would have said yes years ago. However now I say that I would want people to like me on my own merits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd have guessed they spolied it for the women initially.

Does that then make it harder for other guys ... Pass? I'd imagine that's for women to tell us...

I like to think I can spoil things for myself. No help needed.

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By *he AmbassadorMan  over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

i get on just fine here, respecting women (well everyone really).

So id have to say, based on my time here, nope, they dont,

Thank Fucks,

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A

But what about when people say "block all men"...?"

I honestly couldn't say. I know it's often done for inbox management purposes.

I know that those who know what they want, who they're attracted to and who don't want to have to sift through messages from anyone who fits a loose set of criteria, will often block incoming mail from men and make the first contact themselves.

I know that it's often suggested to cut down on the number of messages received when the better advice would be to simply tighten filters.

I honestly don't think it's any kind of hatred of men. I don't think it's because people don't want to engage with them. I think it's simply down to the demographics and the sheer volume of single male profiles on the site.

Blocking them all is fine if you're not looking to met single males but is pretty pointless if you are.

Just tighten filters, have clear details in your profile as to who you look to meet, feel zero guilt about deleting messages from those you have no interest in (and blocking profiles to prevent future contact) and it really shouldn't be necessary to blanket block men.

A

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire

OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ? "

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ? "

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

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By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford

As others have said, IF you can be heard against the background noise, crap men make it easier for half-decent men, not harder.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some women assume all men are the same online, because of past experiences

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By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ? "

Do you think it is women asking you to shag their wives?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A

But what about when people say "block all men"...?

I honestly couldn't say. I know it's often done for inbox management purposes.

I know that those who know what they want, who they're attracted to and who don't want to have to sift through messages from anyone who fits a loose set of criteria, will often block incoming mail from men and make the first contact themselves.

I know that it's often suggested to cut down on the number of messages received when the better advice would be to simply tighten filters.

I honestly don't think it's any kind of hatred of men. I don't think it's because people don't want to engage with them. I think it's simply down to the demographics and the sheer volume of single male profiles on the site.

Blocking them all is fine if you're not looking to met single males but is pretty pointless if you are.

Just tighten filters, have clear details in your profile as to who you look to meet, feel zero guilt about deleting messages from those you have no interest in (and blocking profiles to prevent future contact) and it really shouldn't be necessary to blanket block men.

A"

So it's a yes?

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question. "

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke

No OP I don’t think they do at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't they make the "good ones" seem better?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As others have said, IF you can be heard against the background noise, crap men make it easier for half-decent men, not harder."

This can be true. The bar is pretty low.

Some proper decent men think they are only half decent but they are more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Surely if you think you're not crap, then you become a good option by comparison?

If there weren't crap options, you wouldn't be worth considering?

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 05/01/23 20:01:13]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Other men don't fuck it up for me, that's for me to do, dependent on how I behave, what effort I put in, the things that I say. It's down on me and only me.

How other men behave is not a reflection on me. However, that being said, I've heard some stories over the years how the 'crap men' treat women on here, the half decent men should challenge that shit n call it out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope, I can still see the good guys for who they are, and as others have said - they shine a little brighter because of the lazy/entitled/self obsessed/controlling/rude twats

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I’m quite capable of fucking things up for myself, I don’t need to rely on other men to do it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Consider this.. The so called crap men are saying and doing what the white knights are slowly working on doing and saying.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A

I don’t know. I don’t, but explain to me why so many women on fab block men from messaging after they have so many ’shit’ messages?

Maybe the assoles on fab are making it better for everyone ? I dunno.

"

I've seen some of these so called shit messages and tbh much of it is down to interpretation.

I can't deny for a second that a lot of men really don't have a clue when it comes to engaging on here but most people assume that women are incapable of being equally clueless or even just as crass.

My experience on here has shown me that there are women who are professional victims who use every opportunity to create drama because it will bring some form of validation.

Many of the crap messages I have been shown have been anything but in my opinion and say more about the recipient than the sender.

There are many women on here who don't complain about their experiences because they are adult enough to ignore or bypass stupidity rather than invite it by their own reaction.

As many others have said I take responsibility for my own actions and no-one else's and if someone decides I'm a dick because of that then that has nothing to do with what someone else does or says.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

"

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A"

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" Surely if you think you're not crap, then you become a good option by comparison?

If there weren't crap options, you wouldn't be worth considering? "

Aha!

I'm helping women get shagged.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

No, but lots of messages from men who haven't read my profile can result in me giving up for a while.

I tried searching for someone but that got tiring very quickly due to the amount of scrolling I had to do.

Maybe when I'm really serious about looking again I'll put my heart and soul into it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I haven't put any effort into my profile because I'm not looking for meets.

Do this make me crap ?

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance. "

Women rarely-if at all-say that the bad women are spoiling it for the good.

Ditto couples/tvs etc.

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By *arker secrets 321Man  over a year ago

West Bromwich

In my opinion u can only spoil it for your self x

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By *rlandoMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

... are there any crap women on here ?

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Other men don't fuck it up for me, that's for me to do, dependent on how I behave, what effort I put in, the things that I say. It's down on me and only me.

How other men behave is not a reflection on me. However, that being said, I've heard some stories over the years how the 'crap men' treat women on here, the half decent men should challenge that shit n call it out "

Ach. See part of me thinks people should call other people out for shitty behaviour. Definitely racism, sexism etc. But I don't think half decent men on here need to be challenging dick pics or Wuu2 messages.

I think more people should focus on making sure their journey is good for them, without hurting others, by using filters, not worrying about how others are conducting themselves in inboxes etc.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" ... are there any crap women on here ?"

No they don't exist

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What man?

Which man?

Who's the man?

When's a man a man?

What makes a man a man?

Am I a man?

Yes - technically I am.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance. "

See my answer above. She wasn't 'slagging off' all men was she?

And it's never been fashionable or acceptable. Does it happen? Yes. When it does it's usually called out.

Using 'people' would have been pointless. It's more often than not other men who state that the 'crap men' ruin life on Fab for them, not women or couples. Men tend to slag off other men far more than any other demographic on the site.

A

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance. "

What a load of rubbish.

Most people are speaking from experience, so I'm going to guess OP has only experienced this from men.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Other men don't fuck it up for me, that's for me to do, dependent on how I behave, what effort I put in, the things that I say. It's down on me and only me.

How other men behave is not a reflection on me. However, that being said, I've heard some stories over the years how the 'crap men' treat women on here, the half decent men should challenge that shit n call it out

Ach. See part of me thinks people should call other people out for shitty behaviour. Definitely racism, sexism etc. But I don't think half decent men on here need to be challenging dick pics or Wuu2 messages.

I think more people should focus on making sure their journey is good for them, without hurting others, by using filters, not worrying about how others are conducting themselves in inboxes etc."

I'm.more referring to the maschoinist and narcissistic behaviour, the abusive messages when offers are politely declined. Entltitlement on social meets when males feel like a women is obliged to take things futher

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By *piderBunnyCouple  over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

In my experience, crap people ruin fab for people.

I try and have an entirely open mind when interacting with someone new, and I'd never tar everyone with the same brush... not consciously and logically, anyway.

Some experiences with men from fab made me scared of men for a while, all men, in case it was my fucktrumpet radar that was off and I wasn't seeing the red flags, but some experiences with men not from fab have done the same.

I'm very lucky in that I have also had some wonderful experiences with men from fab (both online conversations and actually meeting them), and actually I tend, possibly naively, to hope that the majority are cut from that cloth instead.

So, OP, for me, no. Crap men don't ruin fab for the good ones... crap people just chip away at my hope.

(I may have rambled... again... sorry )

Posh

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"What man?

Which man?

Who's the man?

When's a man a man?

What makes a man a man?

Am I a man?

Yes - technically I am."

^^ all of this is a lie

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By *rlandoMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

... are there any crap women on here ?

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By *hil most chillMan  over a year ago

South East & Europe


"What man?

Which man?

Who's the man?

When's a man a man?

What makes a man a man?

Am I a man?

Yes - technically I am."

FoTC all day!

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"Other men don't fuck it up for me, that's for me to do, dependent on how I behave, what effort I put in, the things that I say. It's down on me and only me.

How other men behave is not a reflection on me. However, that being said, I've heard some stories over the years how the 'crap men' treat women on here, the half decent men should challenge that shit n call it out

Ach. See part of me thinks people should call other people out for shitty behaviour. Definitely racism, sexism etc. But I don't think half decent men on here need to be challenging dick pics or Wuu2 messages.

I think more people should focus on making sure their journey is good for them, without hurting others, by using filters, not worrying about how others are conducting themselves in inboxes etc.

I'm.more referring to the maschoinist and narcissistic behaviour, the abusive messages when offers are politely declined. Entltitlement on social meets when males feel like a women is obliged to take things futher "

Yes I've experienced this in my time here. Strangely enough though it's been the woman who has been the one exhibiting these personality disorders and turning nasty or violent and the level of entitlement has been off the scale at times.

I don't see this thread as yet another manbashing one.

Being a dick isn't gender specific.

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance.

See my answer above. She wasn't 'slagging off' all men was she?

And it's never been fashionable or acceptable. Does it happen? Yes. When it does it's usually called out.

Using 'people' would have been pointless. It's more often than not other men who state that the 'crap men' ruin life on Fab for them, not women or couples. Men tend to slag off other men far more than any other demographic on the site.

A"

It’s yet another negative thread aimed at men. You can dress it up how ever you want but its as clear as the thread title. The white knights will always agree in the desperate hope of courting favour with the clique

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By *eyeYCouple  over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Crap people spoil it! Would love to take 'people' at their word, however experience has taught us otherwise..

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire


"In my experience, crap people ruin fab for people.

I try and have an entirely open mind when interacting with someone new, and I'd never tar everyone with the same brush... not consciously and logically, anyway.

Some experiences with men from fab made me scared of men for a while, all men, in case it was my fucktrumpet radar that was off and I wasn't seeing the red flags, but some experiences with men not from fab have done the same.

I'm very lucky in that I have also had some wonderful experiences with men from fab (both online conversations and actually meeting them), and actually I tend, possibly naively, to hope that the majority are cut from that cloth instead.

So, OP, for me, no. Crap men don't ruin fab for the good ones... crap people just chip away at my hope.

(I may have rambled... again... sorry )

Posh "

Brilliantly put. At last some intelligent balanced input

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance.

See my answer above. She wasn't 'slagging off' all men was she?

And it's never been fashionable or acceptable. Does it happen? Yes. When it does it's usually called out.

Using 'people' would have been pointless. It's more often than not other men who state that the 'crap men' ruin life on Fab for them, not women or couples. Men tend to slag off other men far more than any other demographic on the site.

A

It’s yet another negative thread aimed at men. You can dress it up how ever you want but its as clear as the thread title. The white knights will always agree in the desperate hope of courting favour with the clique "

Out of interest are you saying that there are no men on the site who behave in a negative way? None that send inappropriate messages? None that put zero effort into their profile, photos or communications on site?

None?

A

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.

Nope, they don't spoil it for me OP. I've never assumed all men are "crap" just cos Dave let me down once, 10yrs ago.

BUT,I continue to tweak my filters based on experiences here & how my journey has evolved. Works pretty good for me, as I meet some truly wonderful chaps.

And let's face it, my "crap" fella could well be some other person's Mr Wonderful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance.

See my answer above. She wasn't 'slagging off' all men was she?

And it's never been fashionable or acceptable. Does it happen? Yes. When it does it's usually called out.

Using 'people' would have been pointless. It's more often than not other men who state that the 'crap men' ruin life on Fab for them, not women or couples. Men tend to slag off other men far more than any other demographic on the site.

A

It’s yet another negative thread aimed at men. You can dress it up how ever you want but its as clear as the thread title. The white knights will always agree in the desperate hope of courting favour with the clique

Out of interest are you saying that there are no men on the site who behave in a negative way? None that send inappropriate messages? None that put zero effort into their profile, photos or communications on site?

None?

A"

You know I’m not saying that. Try reading what I say properly. I’m saying all of what you state is not the sole property of single men. However that is how you and the OP want to portray single men .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No I just ignore the shit ones and focus on the good "

Well said

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Not at all.

Since I’ve been on here people have complained about the awful behaviour of some guys and it’s never affected me

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself "

Your thighs won’t fit in pigeon holes Pete. That is a fact

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By *litterattACKCouple  over a year ago

Newcastle

Nah the stupid shit men spoil it for themselves, which is good for us… swinging darwinism in effect…. True colours shall always present themselves eventually :p

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself

Your thighs won’t fit in pigeon holes Pete. That is a fact "

Hey, at the end of the day, I'm just Pete.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Where is the OP's question tarring men?

If you read the responses few feel that way. Many, including me have said otherwise.

Why do some people get so defensive when a question is asked that most likely doesn't relate to them?

A

Because slagging men off on here has become fashionable and acceptable among the clique. The OP could have used the word ‘people’ instead on men when this issue is not exclusively one of only men. I’m calling out hypocrisy and imbalance.

See my answer above. She wasn't 'slagging off' all men was she?

And it's never been fashionable or acceptable. Does it happen? Yes. When it does it's usually called out.

Using 'people' would have been pointless. It's more often than not other men who state that the 'crap men' ruin life on Fab for them, not women or couples. Men tend to slag off other men far more than any other demographic on the site.

A

It’s yet another negative thread aimed at men. You can dress it up how ever you want but its as clear as the thread title. The white knights will always agree in the desperate hope of courting favour with the clique

Out of interest are you saying that there are no men on the site who behave in a negative way? None that send inappropriate messages? None that put zero effort into their profile, photos or communications on site?

None?

A

You know I’m not saying that. Try reading what I say properly. I’m saying all of what you state is not the sole property of single men. However that is how you and the OP want to portray single men . "

No.

Fraid not. Neither I (male in a couple actively meeting single men) nor the OP (female) have portrayed single men that way at all.

If you read all my comments you'd have seen that. If you read the OP's question properly you'd have seen that. I've just scanned the whole thread quickly and so far I've only seen one person suggesting that this question is targeting all men............

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We all have different interpretations on what makes people crap. I find alot of people on here crap who are loved for example. Same vice versa.

Basically, no

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By *rofessor ElementalMan  over a year ago

Durham

There’s someone for everyone even the crap ones

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In my experience, crap people ruin fab for people.

I try and have an entirely open mind when interacting with someone new, and I'd never tar everyone with the same brush... not consciously and logically, anyway.

Some experiences with men from fab made me scared of men for a while, all men, in case it was my fucktrumpet radar that was off and I wasn't seeing the red flags, but some experiences with men not from fab have done the same.

I'm very lucky in that I have also had some wonderful experiences with men from fab (both online conversations and actually meeting them), and actually I tend, possibly naively, to hope that the majority are cut from that cloth instead.

So, OP, for me, no. Crap men don't ruin fab for the good ones... crap people just chip away at my hope.

(I may have rambled... again... sorry )

Posh "

I don't think you were rambling.

Agree about the chipped hope.

Currently (for me) the good Fab men far outweigh the crap ones.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral.


"We all have different interpretations on what makes people crap. I find alot of people on here crap who are loved for example. Same vice versa.

Basically, no "

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not really, it helps to make the good ones look better.

I imagine the worst part is that women get so bombarded with messages that sometimes the good ones get missed.

This is true.

It's also been noticeable (to me) recently that people are very often saying that people should block all men to avoid shitty messages.

So then the 'good' men can't even send a message as they are all blocked."

I agree with these comments I know I would be the same

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself "

Everyone is a little bit crap aren't they? Heck, some of the best people I know are shockingly crappy sometimes. Like me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Define crap......

Crap lover

Crap partner

Crap at DIY

Crap at monopoly

There are lots of ways to be crap?

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By *ife NinjaMan  over a year ago

Dunfermline

Oh, I do ok with chats and friends. Maybe I'm just a beige like character; causes no offence, chats shit and has appalling taste in headgear. Meets now and then, likes clubs and hot tubs.

If you act like a twat, you'll show yourself soon enough. Off I slump to my bath

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself "

Get CRAP tattooed on one hand knuckles and GOOD on the other.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A"

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself

Everyone is a little bit crap aren't they? Heck, some of the best people I know are shockingly crappy sometimes. Like me. "

But you are excellent at hiding crap under your bushel.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry about that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself

Get CRAP tattooed on one hand knuckles and GOOD on the other. "

I've already done that so I remember which hand to wank with.

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By *renzMan  over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Who cares?

You get out what you put in.

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By *c69funCouple  over a year ago

chesterfield

It's the fake profiles, be it men, couples, females, tv's or any others with fake or false profiles that spoil it .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is the OP just on the never ending merry go round of labelling a section of the fab community as crap because the fab experience ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Define crap......

Crap lover

Crap partner

Crap at DIY

Crap at monopoly

There are lots of ways to be crap?"

BINGO!!!

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich


"The crap ones help the good ones stand out?

T"

This for definite

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By *eard and BoobsCouple  over a year ago

Portstewart

Yes they all get tarred with the same brush until they prove otherwise and it's not often that ends up being the case from our own personal experiences

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By *affeine DuskMan  over a year ago

Caerphilly


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

I suppose they would spoil it if I, a good man, was shagging a crap man.

But then, who says I am the good man? I could be the crap man in this manshag!

...nah that's bollocks, I'm ace in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

oh yes definitely yes but so do the Women

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By *onnie 90Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Yes they do.

So here’s my thoughts, how many pubs and clubs throw one person out and then kick all his mates out too. It was DAVE that was being the dick, but all his pals get tarred with the same brush.

Fab is the same in someways.

I'm surprised you feel that way.

The 'tarred with the same brush' concept is as ridiculous to me as the 'bad guys affect the good' notion.

Everyone on this site is an adult.

If someone can't comprehend that because one person is a humongous fucknugget, or someone does something incredibly offensive and insensitive, that it relates to just them and them alone - nobody else on the planet, let alone Fab - then how do people seriously manage to function day to day in society?

Get cut up on the commute to work? You don't suddenly think every driver on the road is a cunt.

Someone bumps into you in a pub because they're in a rush to get to the bar? You don't assume everyone in the building is an impatient prick with no manners.

Someone at work says they don't like your new haircut? You don't suddenly send a group email round everyone in your workplace asking for advice on what's the best haircut to have and opt for the most common suggestion.

When did people stop being individuals just because they joined a swinging/sex site?

A"

The thing is there are plentiful humongous fucknuggets on FAB and they tend to be the first in.

The impatient prick at the bar? Well they won't be will they. They're physically stood in front of you and surrounded by people. They can't be a brave keyboard warrior in that situation can they.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only if you let them. If you work on your own profile and do what you can to make yourself more desirable such as getting verifications by going to socials and clubs then you'll always find people interested in you

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By *onnie 90Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Yes they do. In much the same way I put a seat belt on every time I get in a car even though I'm aware that I'm not going to be involved in an accident each journey, I assume all men are crap now until they show me otherwise. "

Same here. The sheer number of Adonis sex gods on FAB is overwhelming. They're all in with the big claims.

"Hey,I can go for three hours without a break then shoot a massive bucket load of cum all over you".

Usually translates to...

Three minutes with a sweaty pause and a slight dribble of something or other.

That's if they turn up!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes they all get tarred with the same brush until they prove otherwise and it's not often that ends up being the case from our own personal experiences "

Guilt until proved innocent doctrine!

Nice!!!

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By *onnie 90Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Yes they all get tarred with the same brush until they prove otherwise and it's not often that ends up being the case from our own personal experiences "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There’s at least one hundred men to one woman so by law of averages there will be more crap men.

If I do message a woman I’m never course, I always speak to them the same way I would if I met her in a bar.

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Is the OP just on the never ending merry go round of labelling a section of the fab community as crap because the fab experience ?"

The OP didn’t label anyone anything. They asked a simple and straightforward question and asked people to explain their answers

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Yes they all get tarred with the same brush until they prove otherwise and it's not often that ends up being the case from our own personal experiences

Guilt until proved innocent doctrine!

Nice!!!"

This ain't a courtroom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes they all get tarred with the same brush until they prove otherwise and it's not often that ends up being the case from our own personal experiences

Guilt until proved innocent doctrine!

Nice!!!

This ain't a courtroom "

I was speaking metaphorically.........

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By *ussieChrisMan  over a year ago

Walsall

Usually this is the case.

In forums, msgs etc.. doesnt matter where, Until the guy can prove hes not in that generalisation of men.. then he has nearly no chance of getting a meet.

Sadly most of the time its because the guys that cause the issue are ones moaning constantly (within a short time of joining) that they aren't getting meets, that the place is full of 'slappers' but why can't they get any action etc..

When simply put, they need to stop being dickheads and accept that they are 1 in a million so have to work for it, and even then nothing is guaranteed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

"

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men.

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"You're all assuming the good ones can't be crap sometimes and the crap ones can't be good sometimes.

I'm often crap and I'm often good. I get so confused as to how I should pigeon hole myself

Everyone is a little bit crap aren't they? Heck, some of the best people I know are shockingly crappy sometimes. Like me.

But you are excellent at hiding crap under your bushel."

Aww thanks Esty.

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By *rlandoMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

this site is full of dodgy profiles and idiots , not about gender !!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

They do, to some extent

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By *oxy jWoman  over a year ago

somerset

the bas ruin it for themselve but the so called good alway try to use it as the reason they are getting nowhere but the reason your getting nowhere is because no one is interested not the bad fruits

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"There’s at least one hundred men to one woman so by law of averages there will be more crap men.

If I do message a woman I’m never course, I always speak to them the same way I would if I met her in a bar. "

In a bar a man would probably smile and say "hi".

If he does that on Fab in a first message.... (scream)

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire

Nah.

We’ve been here a fucking long time and still enjoy messages and meets with really great men occasionally.

The bubble’s always find their way to the surface no matter how deep the water.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men. "

It’s generally accepted that Fab is, in the majority, populated by single men or those who purport to be single. It follows therefore that the majority of rogue, offensive or rude messages will come from the majority.

To suggest that all Fab men are idiots, time wasters or dodgy is simply not true.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There’s at least one hundred men to one woman so by law of averages there will be more crap men.

If I do message a woman I’m never course, I always speak to them the same way I would if I met her in a bar.

In a bar a man would probably smile and say "hi".

If he does that on Fab in a first message.... (scream) "

as we are not in a courtroom it follows we are not in a bar!

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire


"this site is full of dodgy profiles and idiots , not about gender !! "

Exactly this

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By *ussieChrisMan  over a year ago

Walsall


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men.

It’s generally accepted that Fab is, in the majority, populated by single men or those who purport to be single. It follows therefore that the majority of rogue, offensive or rude messages will come from the majority.

To suggest that all Fab men are idiots, time wasters or dodgy is simply not true. "

completely agree, sadly thought single men (being the majority) still get painted with the same brush, at least until proven otherwise.

As much as we may not be liked for whatever reason (looks, too close, too far etc).. it still makes it more difficult from the get go when we are all considered the same as those that cause issues.

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By *piderBunnyCouple  over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond


"In my experience, crap people ruin fab for people.

I try and have an entirely open mind when interacting with someone new, and I'd never tar everyone with the same brush... not consciously and logically, anyway.

Some experiences with men from fab made me scared of men for a while, all men, in case it was my fucktrumpet radar that was off and I wasn't seeing the red flags, but some experiences with men not from fab have done the same.

I'm very lucky in that I have also had some wonderful experiences with men from fab (both online conversations and actually meeting them), and actually I tend, possibly naively, to hope that the majority are cut from that cloth instead.

So, OP, for me, no. Crap men don't ruin fab for the good ones... crap people just chip away at my hope.

(I may have rambled... again... sorry )

Posh

Brilliantly put. At last some intelligent balanced input "

I have my moments. I'll go back to inane drivel any minute.

Posh

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By *piderBunnyCouple  over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond


"

I don't think you were rambling.

Agree about the chipped hope.

Currently (for me) the good Fab men far outweigh the crap ones. "

And we have to just hope that trend continues...

Me too actually. Doesn't stop me being scared but actually it seems like the lovely guys are out in force at the moment.

Posh

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By *_elia DominaTV/TS  over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

That's easy...

Over privileged egostitical individuals living in a pram full of toys....

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By *onnyJohnMan  over a year ago

Doncaster

[Removed by poster at 05/01/23 21:14:38]

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men.

It’s generally accepted that Fab is, in the majority, populated by single men or those who purport to be single. It follows therefore that the majority of rogue, offensive or rude messages will come from the majority.

To suggest that all Fab men are idiots, time wasters or dodgy is simply not true.

completely agree, sadly thought single men (being the majority) still get painted with the same brush, at least until proven otherwise.

As much as we may not be liked for whatever reason (looks, too close, too far etc).. it still makes it more difficult from the get go when we are all considered the same as those that cause issues."

Are we really though?

Anyone paying attention will be aware that I don't pander to anyone on here or blow smoke up anyones arse.

I'm not rude or nasty but if I have an opinion I'm not afraid to voice it even if it goes against the grain.

I'm well aware that may annoy many people but strangely enough most of the compliments I receive on here refer to the fact I do speak my mind and they respect me for that so its more than possible to stand out from the crowd without simping or white knighting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope the crap men spoil it for themselves

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By *onnyJohnMan  over a year ago

Doncaster


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

Yes and No... Good and bad guys, or indeed any other group (and lets be honest none of the other groups are without sin either) the good and bad of each group will have a negative or indeed a positive effect on others.

But thats just my two penneth worth and of no consequence..

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men.

It’s generally accepted that Fab is, in the majority, populated by single men or those who purport to be single. It follows therefore that the majority of rogue, offensive or rude messages will come from the majority.

To suggest that all Fab men are idiots, time wasters or dodgy is simply not true. "

10000% agree.

And pretty sure the OP didn't say that anyhoo......

There's been a couple of people state that they tar all with the same brush until proven otherwise.

That (in my experience) is far from the norm and whilst their choice and prerogative entirely, reflects as much on them as those they state to be an issue.

Again. The thread wasn't targeted at 'all men' so 'all men' don't need to get their knickers in a twist and get all defensive.

I'm pretty sure any sane, decent, polite, courteous and normal guy would be pissed off if another male was abusive to a woman they know - I doubt they'd leap to their defence.

It's always amusing when single, straight men react to comments made from women and couples about the messages and approaches they receive from other single men.

I'm curious (yes, I know it says that in my profile, duh.....! ) as to how much experience some of these men have in receiving sexual advances, explicit messages, derogatory comments and abuse from other straight men? Because some appear to know rather a lot about what kind of messages and photos are being sent that frustrate those women and couples.

They must be getting dozens of such approaches a day, surely?

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There’s at least one hundred men to one woman so by law of averages there will be more crap men.

If I do message a woman I’m never course, I always speak to them the same way I would if I met her in a bar.

In a bar a man would probably smile and say "hi".

If he does that on Fab in a first message.... (scream) "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I feel so sorry for the women here who get hounded by hundreds of guys, most are fuckwits. They spoil it for the ladies no doubt and the abuse! Sorry but why? Just no need. I dont find it a problem by just being myself and i dont struggle. Been on and off 15 years and times have changed though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?"

Define - crap?

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I feel so sorry for the women here who get hounded by hundreds of guys, most are fuckwits. They spoil it for the ladies no doubt and the abuse! Sorry but why? Just no need. I dont find it a problem by just being myself and i dont struggle. Been on and off 15 years and times have changed though. "

Why would you feel sorry for someone who doesn't use their filters and allow themselves to get hounded by so many men .The site provides the tools to take control of the amount of mail they receive if they choose not to use the filters than why feel sorry for them.Yes I know you cannot control content but you can control the amount if you tightened your filters well.And then that in turn cuts down on a lot of shite messages.

And no OP I don't think 'crap'men ruin the site for anyone but themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP are you one of the good ones?

Another thread tarring men when there are plenty of shocking women on here and even more terrible couples profiles sending crass, unimaginative and downright rude messages.

“ would you shag my wife” messages and the dozens of unsolicited friend requests I get every day from them. Maybe I should start a whining thread about them ?

Can you ask someone to explain the OP to you please. It is a question.

I guess the fact that it's levelled at men is where the issue lies... If the thread was titled do the crap "people" spoil it for the others, no one would have an issue.

Just my thoughts, I had no issue with the OP, but can understand the frustrations of others.

It's levelled at 'crap men'.

Not all men.

If there are any self titled and determined 'crap men' that take offence to the thread then that's different.

But men who don't consider themselves 'crap', negative or in any way behaving in a manner that isn't appealing, shouldn't really have anything to be offended about when questions such as this are asked, surely?

If the complaint was 'are people who can't park within the lines in public car parks a pain in the arse?' then I doubt anyone who uses public car parks but doesn't park like a that would be jumping up and protesting that someone is being negative about a particularly undesirable trait of behaviour....

Or maybe some would just for the sake of it.

A

Fair point, and as I said I had no issues with the OP.

Just saying use of the word "People" instead of "Men" might have been avoided others feeling frustrated, that's all

You might think that's pointless, and that's absolutely fine, you're completely entitled to think and feel the way that you do and it's not for me to try and make you think or feel otherwise.

Moreover the OP is also completely entitled and free to post about whatever they want.

My question was specifically about men because I've seen a lot of threads lately where people (men, women, couples, TV/TS) are annoyed about messages from men. A frequent suggestion is to block all men. Hence my question about men.

It’s generally accepted that Fab is, in the majority, populated by single men or those who purport to be single. It follows therefore that the majority of rogue, offensive or rude messages will come from the majority.

To suggest that all Fab men are idiots, time wasters or dodgy is simply not true.

10000% agree.

And pretty sure the OP didn't say that anyhoo......

There's been a couple of people state that they tar all with the same brush until proven otherwise.

That (in my experience) is far from the norm and whilst their choice and prerogative entirely, reflects as much on them as those they state to be an issue.

Again. The thread wasn't targeted at 'all men' so 'all men' don't need to get their knickers in a twist and get all defensive.

I'm pretty sure any sane, decent, polite, courteous and normal guy would be pissed off if another male was abusive to a woman they know - I doubt they'd leap to their defence.

It's always amusing when single, straight men react to comments made from women and couples about the messages and approaches they receive from other single men.

I'm curious (yes, I know it says that in my profile, duh.....! ) as to how much experience some of these men have in receiving sexual advances, explicit messages, derogatory comments and abuse from other straight men? Because some appear to know rather a lot about what kind of messages and photos are being sent that frustrate those women and couples.

They must be getting dozens of such approaches a day, surely?

A"

Yep yep

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Travelling

It's a bit of both.

Their own behaviour helps thin the pool to allow decent men to have a very low bar to step over, but their presence can also block out the decent men too by sheer numbers, and in some cases SOME women will have barriers and much less welcoming attitudes or willing to give certain other guys a chance due to the amount of bad experience bullshit from said crap guys.

End of the day if you interest somebody it is all on you to spark that interest and to keep it going. The crap men won't be stopping that from happening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do they ... or not?

How?

Define - crap? "

The types that make people block *all* men.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Has anyone been keeping count of answers?

We've gone off on a tangent to agree,not all men are crap, not all crap people are men, but the majority of crap people are men by dint of being more of us.

And assumptions that all men are lunoed together, largely it seems by men. The female response seems more balanced tho.

Which suggests men are more likely to blame lack of success on others, than on their own actions. No doubt any success they do have is down to them tho.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Has anyone been keeping count of answers?

We've gone off on a tangent to agree,not all men are crap, not all crap people are men, but the majority of crap people are men by dint of being more of us.

And assumptions that all men are lunoed together, largely it seems by men. The female response seems more balanced tho.

Which suggests men are more likely to blame lack of success on others, than on their own actions. No doubt any success they do have is down to them tho. "

Very well put.

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek

I agree they do.

That wasn't always the case mind you. I was in the "naaaah" camp.

I used to read messages and my ears would prick up at the ones that stood out. Now I just don't read messages unless they're from people I know. I cannot be fucking arsed. The dross and attitudes of the majority as well as actions of some have got me to the point where I just ain't interested in anyone. It's gone past effort and dried my minge like an advent calender chocolate covered raisin that's 30 years out of date.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I agree they do.

That wasn't always the case mind you. I was in the "naaaah" camp.

I used to read messages and my ears would prick up at the ones that stood out. Now I just don't read messages unless they're from people I know. I cannot be fucking arsed. The dross and attitudes of the majority as well as actions of some have got me to the point where I just ain't interested in anyone. It's gone past effort and dried my minge like an advent calender chocolate covered raisin that's 30 years out of date."

Also well put, in true PP style

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stands up and shouts

“ I am a crap man”

In a Spartacus moment........

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By *piderBunnyCouple  over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond


"

Which suggests men are more likely to blame lack of success on others, than on their own actions. No doubt any success they do have is down to them tho. "

I cannot possibly believe this.

No.

Not at all.

Never.

(Sarcasm is so hard to get across in text, isn't it)

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Which suggests men are more likely to blame lack of success on others, than on their own actions. No doubt any success they do have is down to them tho.

I cannot possibly believe this.

No.

Not at all.

Never.

(Sarcasm is so hard to get across in text, isn't it)

Posh "

Correct

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Has anyone been keeping count of answers?

We've gone off on a tangent to agree,not all men are crap, not all crap people are men, but the majority of crap people are men by dint of being more of us.

And assumptions that all men are lunoed together, largely it seems by men. The female response seems more balanced tho.

Which suggests men are more likely to blame lack of success on others, than on their own actions. No doubt any success they do have is down to them tho. "

I haven't kept track.

I think it's 50/50.

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