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The bad stuff
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Pit your erections down for this one fellas...
Have you ever gone down on someone and immediately regretted all your life choices that brought you to that very moment?
Be it stinky dick, their weird sex noises, all the pubic hair in the world?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”  "
I think you added quite enough.... |
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"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough...."
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while."
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all my years I've never come across a stinky willy but I know many that have"
I remember a guy at school had a stinky one. Was called stinky dick or Bell smell for years |
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I once was playing with a girl in the passenger seat of my car teasing with my fingers I then climbed over into the footwell of the passenger side to have a taste and as I pulled my fingers out I was hit with the worst smell I’ve ever smelt and fingers covered with something the consistency of rice pudding it was gross , I pretend I heard my phone ring , climbed off and made an excuse to leave trying to cause minimum embarrassment for us both |
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"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL."
I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.
I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers."
Ah it's the staple really. Boy meets girl. Girl offers him a blowjob. Boy says yes. All in all a terrible time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I once was playing with a girl in the passenger seat of my car teasing with my fingers I then climbed over into the footwell of the passenger side to have a taste and as I pulled my fingers out I was hit with the worst smell I’ve ever smelt and fingers covered with something the consistency of rice pudding it was gross , I pretend I heard my phone ring , climbed off and made an excuse to leave trying to cause minimum embarrassment for us both "
Yeah I don't know why i made this thread anymore  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....  "
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?! |
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Stuck my fingers ina cunt and it made my cuticles burn. No way was I sticking anything else in there.
Like a witches cauldron. Vaginal warts are another thing all together, ripping n bleeding while your ramming it in there!  |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
Trying to keep my lunch down reading this
Once had to walk out of a group meet in a hotel room because the host had a somewhat lackadaisical approach to his hygiene as I found out when on my knees in front of him |
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"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.
I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers.
Ah it's the staple really. Boy meets girl. Girl offers him a blowjob. Boy says yes. All in all a terrible time."
Been there. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?! "
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't! |
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Weird?
I used to bang a flipping christian, I'm not religious or against anyone who is but she used to start singing church hymms when I was banging her. Fuck knows how her old man put up with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't! "
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag |
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"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL."
Was she half way through a poop? |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag "
I'd never have started ha ha ha
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”
I think you added quite enough....
Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.
First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.
Was she half way through a poop?"
No. She may as well have been though  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
I'd never have started ha ha ha
"
Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!
Was character building though  |
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Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag "
Sorry but I am never in a month of Sundays feeling awkward because someone can't be arsed to have a wash! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
Sorry but I am never in a month of Sundays feeling awkward because someone can't be arsed to have a wash! "
To be fair it was young and in the moment. I was taking all the opportunities I could as a teenager  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Weird?
I used to bang a flipping christian, I'm not religious or against anyone who is but she used to start singing church hymms when I was banging her. Fuck knows how her old man put up with it. "
Oh cum all ye faithful? |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "
Everyone's now going to look at your veris to see if they can figure out who it was.... ha ha |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
I'd never have started ha ha ha
Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!
Was character building though "
It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "
I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'
*I don't really |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
I'd never have started ha ha ha
Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!
Was character building though
It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha "
Haven't you realized that about me yet?
There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body... |
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"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "
That made me cackle |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
I'd never have started ha ha ha
Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!
Was character building though
It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha
Haven't you realized that about me yet?
There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body... "
It may have been your floppy hair that attracted them combined with your messy bedroom and dressing gown! |
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Just the once. I couldn’t continue, felt like she hasn’t has a shower in a significant amount of time.
Had to just bite the bullet and Saadi something like I’m going to jump in the shower before we continue… and afterwards suggested she do the same.
(I had showered 30 mins before this) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Couple of years ago met a guy and D kept looking at me a bit funny as I went down on him, I thought it was because he was very hung, he tasted a bit weird but I was pretty d*unk and had a cold so finished him off expertly... It wasn't until after that D told me he could smell him as soon as he pulled his cock out
Turned out he'd come straight from another meet without a wash stop! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never!
Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....
But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!
Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.
No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!
Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?
In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag
I'd never have started ha ha ha
Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!
Was character building though
It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha
Haven't you realized that about me yet?
There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body...
It may have been your floppy hair that attracted them combined with your messy bedroom and dressing gown! "
I know it's a hot look right?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Posting this as a reminder to never be tempted to open Brucey’s threads AGAIN
You'll miss me when I'm gone!
Are you planning on going UNLOS Brucey? It will break my cold heart."
I'm definitely gonna be on less than usual. Who knows eh! But you'll be ok, brucey will always love you  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I had a man a long time ago who made strange mmmm sounds like yoga when he gave me oral, and another who thrashed his head left and right, and said oh yes! Oh yes! like a woman while I was riding him.
It made me think I might do strange things during sex myself.
|
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?"
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce "
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now  |
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By *issMBWoman
over a year ago
North |
I've had the "stinky dick" experience once... the only descriptive word that springs to mind is "sour". I had to leave immediately. I was younger (around 21) and didn't handle it as tactfully as I would now. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now "
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha |
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"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha "
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey "
"Stuffs myself"
I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!
Bad man |
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"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey
"Stuffs myself"
I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!
Bad man"
Ok, gently fold and insert 1 
They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey
"Stuffs myself"
I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!
Bad man"
.
Besides all those combined flavours might make a man pass out. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey
"Stuffs myself"
I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!
Bad man
Ok, gently fold and insert 1
They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy "
Are you Bruce the 2nd? |
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"Is it safe to come back in now?
I mean I haven't showered since 7am...
Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)
When did you last shower boo?
I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce
Ooh I bet you're delicious right now
I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha
She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey
"Stuffs myself"
I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!
Bad man
Ok, gently fold and insert 1
They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy
Are you Bruce the 2nd? "
No, I was here first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly so.....I tried to forget it.
Do you smell things and think that takes me back? "
Alas it's a curse. Just when he feels relaxed BAM the nightmares return |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Coffee tasting dick cum is just rank.
Have a glass of water and a wizz before my lips get anywhere near it...."
See I didn't know this was a thing! Love my educational threads! |
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"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!!
I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'
*I don't really"
And then “Don’t talk with your mouthful!!” |
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"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter "
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker |
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"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker "
I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.
And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!!
I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'
*I don't really
And then “Don’t talk with your mouthful!!”"
It's quite the emotional rollercoaster giving it to me in fairness. But I always pat them on the head after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker
I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration "
You talking their cum or just taste generally here? |
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"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker
I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration
You talking their cum or just taste generally here?"
Their skin and their cum. I think it always has quite a specific taste  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker
I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration
You talking their cum or just taste generally here?
Their skin and their cum. I think it always has quite a specific taste "
I've never noticed skin tasting differently on female smokers but the smell does stay on people for sure. I used to smoke and wonder why people complained but ever since I quit I absolutely notice it too.
Can't speak for cum, on account of loving boobs x |
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"Pit your erections down for this one fellas...
Have you ever gone down on someone and immediately regretted all your life choices that brought you to that very moment?
Be it stinky dick, their weird sex noises, all the pubic hair in the world?!"
Yes got down there only for her to own up and say it was her time of the month |
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"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter
I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker
I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration "
Who knows, I've always had nice tasting cum though from what I've been told and I mostly eat junk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.
I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.
You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X |
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"I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.
I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.
You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X "
I'd spray your vag with mint mouth spray, you'd be fine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.
I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.
You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X "
I was YOUNG and NAIVE my dear lemon. She offered me a blowjob, I said yes, she was a trooper, and I thought well, gotta start somewhere! So down I went, but my god. My dear God .... |
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Met up on a sure-fire naughty night with someone from a dating site a few years ago. All was going well, and we ended up in bed.
I was slightly put off by the forest down there (not criticising, just not my preference), but undaunted I bravely headed down there for further ‘exploration’. The smell should’ve warned me, but the slow-burning taste crept up on me (I’m reminded of the Walkers Max Strong Fiery Prawn Cocktail crisps - on the packet it says ‘perfect With Beer’ - which I ate last night, £1.50 in Morrisons).
Anyway, I digress….
She was pretty wet and excited by it all, so I stayed for a polite amount of time before retreating and taking a few deep breaths of fresher air back up at the pillow end of the bed and carrying on with things from up there.
She didn’t stay overnight, and we said our fond farewells.
When I returned to my bedroom and turned the big light on I was faced with a sight which resembled a murder scene. Absolutely everything was smeared, including, it transpired, my face… which she didn’t even mention when we kissed at the front door on her way out.
I carry a torch these days, just to check on things as I head to the sweet spot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met up on a sure-fire naughty night with someone from a dating site a few years ago. All was going well, and we ended up in bed.
I was slightly put off by the forest down there (not criticising, just not my preference), but undaunted I bravely headed down there for further ‘exploration’. The smell should’ve warned me, but the slow-burning taste crept up on me (I’m reminded of the Walkers Max Strong Fiery Prawn Cocktail crisps - on the packet it says ‘perfect With Beer’ - which I ate last night, £1.50 in Morrisons).
Anyway, I digress….
She was pretty wet and excited by it all, so I stayed for a polite amount of time before retreating and taking a few deep breaths of fresher air back up at the pillow end of the bed and carrying on with things from up there.
She didn’t stay overnight, and we said our fond farewells.
When I returned to my bedroom and turned the big light on I was faced with a sight which resembled a murder scene. Absolutely everything was smeared, including, it transpired, my face… which she didn’t even mention when we kissed at the front door on her way out.
I carry a torch these days, just to check on things as I head to the sweet spot. "
Oh my god.
Maybe she didn't realise. But jesus, I'd be mortified. You poor thing.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I think I've put everyone off sex for a while so this has been fun.
I'll make a crimpet thread tomorrow and if you don't know what that is, boy you're in for a treat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!"
I was just sick in my coffee cup!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!
I was just sick in my coffee cup!!! "
Sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!"
You could have sung I'm walking away by Craig David as you walked away? |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.
that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.
I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!
I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.
that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.
I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!
I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge."
If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.
that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.
I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!
I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge.
If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread "
To be fair though, who else would do threads like these if you didn't.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.
that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.
I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!
I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge.
If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread
To be fair though, who else would do threads like these if you didn't...."
I'm the hero you don't deserve right now...or need....or want? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's been about 10 years so I can finally talk about it.
I once fanny darted in a blokes face whilst he was down there °  "
Oh confession time?
I once had to go for a poop just as me and her started to kiss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hygiene is always a must and I hate lying when they say they've showered before hand, I've been met with a very smelly pussy and on another meet a poohy bum with might I add a cling on on her pussy lip. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hygiene is always a must and I hate lying when they say they've showered before hand, I've been met with a very smelly pussy and on another meet a poohy bum with might I add a cling on on her pussy lip. "
And it gets worse. Brilliant
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