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The bad stuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Pit your erections down for this one fellas...

Have you ever gone down on someone and immediately regretted all your life choices that brought you to that very moment?

Be it stinky dick, their weird sex noises, all the pubic hair in the world?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

More than once!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Never. But a lot of people I've met say it's happened to them..

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple  over a year ago

chester

Of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"More than once!"

Oh sorry I should have said in my OP post.

What's the story balamory?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Of course

"

Mrs Jae you're better than this, we need the grizzlies!

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By *r_North-EastMan  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops” "

I think you added quite enough....

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By *dalisqueWoman  over a year ago

land of make believe


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops” "

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By *r_North-EastMan  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough...."

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

In all my years I've never come across a stinky willy but I know many that have

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while."

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In all my years I've never come across a stinky willy but I know many that have"

I remember a guy at school had a stinky one. Was called stinky dick or Bell smell for years

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By *arryclone1Man  over a year ago

South West

I once was playing with a girl in the passenger seat of my car teasing with my fingers I then climbed over into the footwell of the passenger side to have a taste and as I pulled my fingers out I was hit with the worst smell I’ve ever smelt and fingers covered with something the consistency of rice pudding it was gross , I pretend I heard my phone ring , climbed off and made an excuse to leave trying to cause minimum embarrassment for us both

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By *r_North-EastMan  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL."

I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers.

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World

Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.

I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers."

Ah it's the staple really. Boy meets girl. Girl offers him a blowjob. Boy says yes. All in all a terrible time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I once was playing with a girl in the passenger seat of my car teasing with my fingers I then climbed over into the footwell of the passenger side to have a taste and as I pulled my fingers out I was hit with the worst smell I’ve ever smelt and fingers covered with something the consistency of rice pudding it was gross , I pretend I heard my phone ring , climbed off and made an excuse to leave trying to cause minimum embarrassment for us both "

Yeah I don't know why i made this thread anymore

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet..... "

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple  over a year ago

chester


"Of course

Mrs Jae you're better than this, we need the grizzlies!"

I was young!!! That’s all I’m prepared to divulge

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By *haron StonerTV/TS  over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Stuck my fingers ina cunt and it made my cuticles burn. No way was I sticking anything else in there.

Like a witches cauldron. Vaginal warts are another thing all together, ripping n bleeding while your ramming it in there!

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By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Trying to keep my lunch down reading this

Once had to walk out of a group meet in a hotel room because the host had a somewhat lackadaisical approach to his hygiene as I found out when on my knees in front of him

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

This is why scratch and sniff is important

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By *r_North-EastMan  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.

I’ve got a few questions but I’m not sure I want the answers.

Ah it's the staple really. Boy meets girl. Girl offers him a blowjob. Boy says yes. All in all a terrible time."

Been there.

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?! "

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

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By *haron StonerTV/TS  over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Weird?

I used to bang a flipping christian, I'm not religious or against anyone who is but she used to start singing church hymms when I was banging her. Fuck knows how her old man put up with it.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

There's been a couple of cocks I've looked at and said not a chance that's going near me.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't! "

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"There's been a couple of cocks I've looked at and said not a chance that's going near me.

Mrs "

Haha! What was it about them?!

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By *haron StonerTV/TS  over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Not much worse than a 60 a day smoker with a cock that tasted like an ashtray full of dog ends!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm just here for the comments

Mrs C

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL."

Was she half way through a poop?

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag "

I'd never have started ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops”

I think you added quite enough....

Hopefully that’s enough to put you all off it for a while.

First time I went down on a girl was in the disabled toilet at school (I know, lad points right) and I honestly contemplated if I was asexual after that. The SMELL.

Was she half way through a poop?"

No. She may as well have been though

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

I'd never have started ha ha ha

"

Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!

Was character building though

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Carlisle

Most blokes have had a bad kebab after a few drinks….

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!!

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By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag "

Sorry but I am never in a month of Sundays feeling awkward because someone can't be arsed to have a wash!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

Sorry but I am never in a month of Sundays feeling awkward because someone can't be arsed to have a wash! "

To be fair it was young and in the moment. I was taking all the opportunities I could as a teenager

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By *orny PTMan  over a year ago

Peterborough


"Weird?

I used to bang a flipping christian, I'm not religious or against anyone who is but she used to start singing church hymms when I was banging her. Fuck knows how her old man put up with it. "

Oh cum all ye faithful?

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "

Everyone's now going to look at your veris to see if they can figure out who it was.... ha ha

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

I'd never have started ha ha ha

Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!

Was character building though "

It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "

I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'

*I don't really

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

I'd never have started ha ha ha

Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!

Was character building though

It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha "

Haven't you realized that about me yet?

There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body...

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

I do sometimes wonder what on earth goes on in that head of yours!

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By *liceinwanderlust101Woman  over a year ago

Cambridge/London


"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!! "

That made me cackle

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol

Yes, one lady was a bit stinky and did not taste good. I was staying the night though and just got on with it. I have not really wanted to go back since.

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

I'd never have started ha ha ha

Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!

Was character building though

It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha

Haven't you realized that about me yet?

There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body... "

It may have been your floppy hair that attracted them combined with your messy bedroom and dressing gown!

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"Never. But a lot of people I've met say it's happened to them.. "

Lol see what you did there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

God no I'd have vomited over his dick

There's just no excuse for bad hygiene

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By *etslaughtogetherMan  over a year ago

Basingstoke / Reading

Just the once. I couldn’t continue, felt like she hasn’t has a shower in a significant amount of time.

Had to just bite the bullet and Saadi something like I’m going to jump in the shower before we continue… and afterwards suggested she do the same.

(I had showered 30 mins before this)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

Yes once it was very funky tasting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes once it was very funky tasting. "

Define funky

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Couple of years ago met a guy and D kept looking at me a bit funny as I went down on him, I thought it was because he was very hung, he tasted a bit weird but I was pretty d*unk and had a cold so finished him off expertly... It wasn't until after that D told me he could smell him as soon as he pulled his cock out

Turned out he'd come straight from another meet without a wash stop!

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By *irtydanMan  over a year ago

Blackpool

ewwwwwwwwww i remember and will never forget the smell

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Never!

Always look before you try and my sense of smell has never failed me yet.....

But then what, is it just hot and steamy until you suddenly go...yeah no I'm busy now or something?!

Of course..... why would you continue or even start to do something when the other person is clearly minging and smelly..... I'd leave in the politest way possible.

No one needs sex that badly to just carry on , or at least I don't!

Isn't it awkward as fuck though.to just stop?

In my case I felt bad cause she spent like 10 minutes on me and I spent a minute of her trying to not gag

I'd never have started ha ha ha

Honestly this was my FIRST TIME. I remember thinking ooh...not sure about this - but I had nothing to compare it too! I thought I would just have to be a good little soldier and learn to deal with it and that that was just what all pussy was like!

Was character building though

It's not getting any better the more you talk ha ha

Haven't you realized that about me yet?

There was a time quite a few stunners here liked me but they only liked my awesome body...

It may have been your floppy hair that attracted them combined with your messy bedroom and dressing gown! "

I know it's a hot look right?!

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World

Is it safe to come back in now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it safe to come back in now? "

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

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By *imply DeeWoman  over a year ago

Wherever

Posting this as a reminder to never be tempted to open Brucey’s threads AGAIN

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Posting this as a reminder to never be tempted to open Brucey’s threads AGAIN "

You'll miss me when I'm gone!

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire

Disco fanny!

Yum

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Disco fanny!

Yum "

I feel that sounds too fun to be accurate to the horror

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am..."

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)"

When did you last shower boo?

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By *imply DeeWoman  over a year ago

Wherever


"Posting this as a reminder to never be tempted to open Brucey’s threads AGAIN

You'll miss me when I'm gone!"

Are you planning on going UNLOS Brucey? It will break my cold heart.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Posting this as a reminder to never be tempted to open Brucey’s threads AGAIN

You'll miss me when I'm gone!

Are you planning on going UNLOS Brucey? It will break my cold heart."

I'm definitely gonna be on less than usual. Who knows eh! But you'll be ok, brucey will always love you

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I had a man a long time ago who made strange mmmm sounds like yoga when he gave me oral, and another who thrashed his head left and right, and said oh yes! Oh yes! like a woman while I was riding him.

It made me think I might do strange things during sex myself.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Nothing to add to this but a friend once described little bits of toilet roll stuck to his girlfriends vagina as “flavour drops” "

That's what happens when you buy cheap toilet paper.

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?"

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce "

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire

No, I've never gone down on someone and recoiled in disgust that they don't smell like a spring meadow in bloom

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By *issMBWoman  over a year ago

North

I've had the "stinky dick" experience once... the only descriptive word that springs to mind is "sour". I had to leave immediately. I was younger (around 21) and didn't handle it as tactfully as I would now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Never. But a lot of people I've met say it's happened to them..

Lol see what you did there "

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Ffs I'm about to eat me dinner ..

And it's Sausage as well

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Ffs I'm about to eat me dinner ..

And it's Sausage as well "

Nothing puts you off sausage ,stinky or not

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now "

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Ffs I'm about to eat me dinner ..

And it's Sausage as well

Nothing puts you off sausage ,stinky or not"

Charming as always

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha "

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ffs I'm about to eat me dinner ..

And it's Sausage as well "

And sweetcorn?

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey "

"Stuffs myself"

I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!

Bad man

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey

"Stuffs myself"

I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!

Bad man"

Ok, gently fold and insert 1

They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Ffs I'm about to eat me dinner ..

And it's Sausage as well

And sweetcorn? "

Oh god

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey

"Stuffs myself"

I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!

Bad man"

.

Besides all those combined flavours might make a man pass out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why am I reading this ?

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey

"Stuffs myself"

I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!

Bad man

Ok, gently fold and insert 1

They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy "

Are you Bruce the 2nd?

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Is it safe to come back in now?

I mean I haven't showered since 7am...

Ewwww Stinky Dick (as per your words)

When did you last shower boo?

I showered this morning around 6.30am and I had a bath about 16:30pm Mr Bruce

Ooh I bet you're delicious right now

I always am , no stinky clit here ha ha ha

She stuffs herself with car freshers Brucey

"Stuffs myself"

I don't have a tunnel for a fanny you know, plus those air freshners are expensive!!

Bad man

Ok, gently fold and insert 1

They're the pound ones shaped like trees, you could use the jellybean ones though if you were feeling classy

Are you Bruce the 2nd? "

No, I was here first

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By *hinstrapMan  over a year ago

Barnsley

Sadly so.....I tried to forget it.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Sadly so.....I tried to forget it. "

Do you smell things and think that takes me back?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm talking producing bile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why am I reading this ? "

For tips?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why am I reading this ?

For tips? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sadly so.....I tried to forget it.

Do you smell things and think that takes me back? "

Alas it's a curse. Just when he feels relaxed BAM the nightmares return

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why am I reading this ?

For tips?

"

Which by the way I think is just, wash?

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Coffee tasting dick cum is just rank.

Have a glass of water and a wizz before my lips get anywhere near it....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Coffee tasting dick cum is just rank.

Have a glass of water and a wizz before my lips get anywhere near it...."

See I didn't know this was a thing! Love my educational threads!

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!!

I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'

*I don't really"

And then “Don’t talk with your mouthful!!”

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By *amantha_JadeWoman  over a year ago

Newcastle

I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter "

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker

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By *amantha_JadeWoman  over a year ago

Newcastle


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker "

I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Mine's not disgusting, more annoying. I met someone on Fab who was really chatty - wouldn't shut up ever. We started playing and all the time I was going down on her, she kept asking me questions like "So, have you lived here long?" I had to keep stopping to answer, very irritating.

And before you all wade in, she wasn't bored - my technique is just fine thanks!!

I do this with blowjobs to be fair. But the questions always 'whats my goddamn name?!'

*I don't really

And then “Don’t talk with your mouthful!!”"

It's quite the emotional rollercoaster giving it to me in fairness. But I always pat them on the head after

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker

I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration "

You talking their cum or just taste generally here?

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By *amantha_JadeWoman  over a year ago

Newcastle


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker

I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration

You talking their cum or just taste generally here?"

Their skin and their cum. I think it always has quite a specific taste

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By *ucka39Man  over a year ago

Newcastle

Nope, never, they have all made a effort

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I read more of this thread than I should have

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker

I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration

You talking their cum or just taste generally here?

Their skin and their cum. I think it always has quite a specific taste "

I've never noticed skin tasting differently on female smokers but the smell does stay on people for sure. I used to smoke and wonder why people complained but ever since I quit I absolutely notice it too.

Can't speak for cum, on account of loving boobs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I read more of this thread than I should have "

Mrs Shiv! Surely you have a tale to divulge?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Never meet unless your senior or smell is top notch

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By *ammykingMan  over a year ago

Lisburn


"Pit your erections down for this one fellas...

Have you ever gone down on someone and immediately regretted all your life choices that brought you to that very moment?

Be it stinky dick, their weird sex noises, all the pubic hair in the world?!"

Yes got down there only for her to own up and say it was her time of the month

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I always think smokers taste differently, stale and bitter

I've seen other people say this but when I was a smoker nobody ever refrained from swallowing and some of my partners were non smokers. Must be more to it than simply being a smoker

I don’t know… it seemed to happen with quite a few smokers… it had a certain taste, but I guess it could have just been coincidence. Think it would usually be combination of smoking, poor diet, dehydration "

Who knows, I've always had nice tasting cum though from what I've been told and I mostly eat junk

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I read more of this thread than I should have "

What part was your favourite?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I read more of this thread than I should have

Mrs Shiv! Surely you have a tale to divulge?"

I don’t thankfully , my weak stomach couldn’t handle that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I read more of this thread than I should have

What part was your favourite? "

The “toilet roll flavour drops” made me gag a bit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.

I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.

You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I read more of this thread than I should have

What part was your favourite?

The “toilet roll flavour drops” made me gag a bit "

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.

I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.

You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X "

I'd spray your vag with mint mouth spray, you'd be fine

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think I've only ever come across two penises that made my stomach turn with the smell. But luckily I didn't put them near my mouth and quickly made my escape.

I'd be too anxious to let a guy go down on me spur of the moment. I'd worry about discharge, leftover toilet roll and urine. I'm pretty clean but I always need a quick wash before oral. I'm too paranoid and want to be all fresh and cute.

You're very brave going down on someone in the disabled toilets. X "

I was YOUNG and NAIVE my dear lemon. She offered me a blowjob, I said yes, she was a trooper, and I thought well, gotta start somewhere! So down I went, but my god. My dear God ....

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan  over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Met up on a sure-fire naughty night with someone from a dating site a few years ago. All was going well, and we ended up in bed.

I was slightly put off by the forest down there (not criticising, just not my preference), but undaunted I bravely headed down there for further ‘exploration’. The smell should’ve warned me, but the slow-burning taste crept up on me (I’m reminded of the Walkers Max Strong Fiery Prawn Cocktail crisps - on the packet it says ‘perfect With Beer’ - which I ate last night, £1.50 in Morrisons).

Anyway, I digress….

She was pretty wet and excited by it all, so I stayed for a polite amount of time before retreating and taking a few deep breaths of fresher air back up at the pillow end of the bed and carrying on with things from up there.

She didn’t stay overnight, and we said our fond farewells.

When I returned to my bedroom and turned the big light on I was faced with a sight which resembled a murder scene. Absolutely everything was smeared, including, it transpired, my face… which she didn’t even mention when we kissed at the front door on her way out.

I carry a torch these days, just to check on things as I head to the sweet spot.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Met up on a sure-fire naughty night with someone from a dating site a few years ago. All was going well, and we ended up in bed.

I was slightly put off by the forest down there (not criticising, just not my preference), but undaunted I bravely headed down there for further ‘exploration’. The smell should’ve warned me, but the slow-burning taste crept up on me (I’m reminded of the Walkers Max Strong Fiery Prawn Cocktail crisps - on the packet it says ‘perfect With Beer’ - which I ate last night, £1.50 in Morrisons).

Anyway, I digress….

She was pretty wet and excited by it all, so I stayed for a polite amount of time before retreating and taking a few deep breaths of fresher air back up at the pillow end of the bed and carrying on with things from up there.

She didn’t stay overnight, and we said our fond farewells.

When I returned to my bedroom and turned the big light on I was faced with a sight which resembled a murder scene. Absolutely everything was smeared, including, it transpired, my face… which she didn’t even mention when we kissed at the front door on her way out.

I carry a torch these days, just to check on things as I head to the sweet spot. "

Oh my god.

Maybe she didn't realise. But jesus, I'd be mortified. You poor thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Well I think I've put everyone off sex for a while so this has been fun.

I'll make a crimpet thread tomorrow and if you don't know what that is, boy you're in for a treat!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!"

I was just sick in my coffee cup!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!

I was just sick in my coffee cup!!! "

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Once I went to give a guy a blow job in a club and the smell was awful, just got up and walked away, didn't quite know what else to do!"

You could have sung I'm walking away by Craig David as you walked away?

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.

that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.

I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!

I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.

that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.

I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!

I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge."

If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ohhhhh fuck me, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this thread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ohhhhh fuck me, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this thread "

Just do what I did, grab nearest coffee cup and vomit

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By *ames-77Man  over a year ago

milton keynes

I'm a hygiene freak I'll insist on shower before

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By *oo..Woman  over a year ago

Boo's World


"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.

that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.

I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!

I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge.

If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread "

To be fair though, who else would do threads like these if you didn't....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ohhhhh fuck me, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this thread "

Or... masturbate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A man on here once sent me a pic of his knob (I assume it was his knob anyway) and it was covered in something awful and it was crusty.

that image haunted me for the rest of the day. I was really angry about it too, having internal conversations with myself like “WHY?” “Why would you send that image to someone??”. I had to scour the men’s hot pics just to self soothe my scarred mind.

I also googled male STI pics in an effort to see what it was. I mean, why would I put myself through that?? WHY?!

I’m still none the wiser. I think it might have been a week’s worth of dick gunge.

If it helps anyone out, I also regret starting this thread

To be fair though, who else would do threads like these if you didn't...."

I'm the hero you don't deserve right now...or need....or want?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's been about 10 years so I can finally talk about it.

I once fanny darted in a blokes face whilst he was down there °

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's been about 10 years so I can finally talk about it.

I once fanny darted in a blokes face whilst he was down there ° "

Oh confession time?

I once had to go for a poop just as me and her started to kiss

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hygiene is always a must and I hate lying when they say they've showered before hand, I've been met with a very smelly pussy and on another meet a poohy bum with might I add a cling on on her pussy lip.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hygiene is always a must and I hate lying when they say they've showered before hand, I've been met with a very smelly pussy and on another meet a poohy bum with might I add a cling on on her pussy lip. "

And it gets worse. Brilliant

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

we've been lucky, never had a problem

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By *issMBWoman  over a year ago

North

Well, this has been a challenging wank.

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By *unthum62Man  over a year ago

Benidorm

There are only two things that should smell like fish.

One is fish and the other is araldite.

Get a wash you mingers.

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