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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And not via fab or other swinging sites ...
When do you mention...
Sexuality?
ENM?
Any past escapades ?
It doesn't quite feel like date one ... But also doesn't feel like it's a year in ....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a don’t tell don’t ask policy
What happened in the past is the past it’s none off my concern
All that concerns me in going forward
And I set this policy in place for both sakes
Ie I don’t want to know
And I really don’t think they want to know
As my check box could take days
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."
What's a date lol |
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"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."
Completely agree. Saves so much wasted time and investment if it transpires the other party is horrified by the idea. |
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Sexuality and ENM definitely.
It would be pointless me going on a date with someone into ENM.
Anything else depends on how much of a dealbreaker it is for you.
I was talking a guy and mentioned I'm on Slimming World, he then told me he's a feeder and would be upset if I lost weight...
It's not gonna work.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always upfront from the start. Any dating profiles state that I'm poly and in a relationship. Although I try to use sites and groups more geared toward that lifestyle in the first place.
Pxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell.
What's a date lol "
But also this  |
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"Sexuality and ENM should be made clear before the first date. Past escapades depends on whether they want to know and how relevant they are to tell."
Exactly this. Past escapades can be difficult because it puts some people off.
I’m always a little vague about it because I don’t think it’s classy to go into detail about an intimate time with someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be pointless for me to go on a date with someone who didn't understand polyam/enm dynamics and kink dynamics since I'm already in a few of them.
I've never NOT discussed this in messages before meeting someone and if I'm chatting to someone in person I feel might be a good fit, I will bring it up naturally during conversation.
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I tell men in the vanilla world I’ve attended clubs in the past after a few dates and state it’s nothing something I’d continue with a partner.
I appreciate some men wouldn’t like it and don’t want to continue to date and that’s okay but don’t think it should be hidden.
I’m not ENM so can’t comment on that. But it think if you want to continue with it as a lifestyle that’s more important and should be very upfront about, like first date.
I think someone sexual history is different to how they intend to continue their future x |
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"Sorry to be so ignorant, but...ENM?
ethical non monogamy
I don't know why it's called ethical. Morally, society frowns upon us loose people 
I'd call it a non-monogamous relationship. "
Ethical in the sense that you are honest about having multiple partners, not cheating and hiding it.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm going to approach it as thus; sexuality - only relevant if I'm on a date with a woman (first date sort of chat). I'm always open about being poly so that would be mentioned quite early on. I don't want to hide the fact I'm engaged to another or dating someone. It feels like a disservice to them and to those I'm in a relationship with. But details about sexual escapades? No. Very much no. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
I think it depends what you are looking for from the date going forward.If it's a vanilla date and you are hoping to introduce them to swinging it would be stringing them along if you didn't raise it early on. Past escapades arent really relevant. As regards sexuality I would be upfront from the start. |
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