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A duck walks into a bar...

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By *illbe9999 OP Man over a year ago

Holmfirth

Duck: Got any bread?

Barman: No mate, this is a bar

Duck: Got any bread ?

Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!

Duck: Got any bread?

Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.

Duck: Got any nails?

Barman: No.

Duck: Got any bread?

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Duck: Got any bread?

Barman: No mate, this is a bar

Duck: Got any bread ?

Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!

Duck: Got any bread?

Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.

Duck: Got any nails?

Barman: No.

Duck: Got any bread?"

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

Ouch it was an iron bar he didn't duck

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By *izzy RascallMan over a year ago

Cardiff

Did he get his bread? Did he add it to his bill?

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By *illbe9999 OP Man over a year ago

Holmfirth

"Ouch it was an iron bar he didn't duck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did he get his bread? Did he add it to his bill?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Man walks in to a bar and sees the barman with a broom in his hand trying to whack down a couple bits of beef that have somehow got stuck to the ceiling.

But he failed, because the steaks were too high

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quacking joke.

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By *r_North-EastMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I was walking past a farm and a sign said: Duck, eggs!

I thought: That's an unnecessary comma - and then it hit me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A dwarf went into a whorehouse

He got a box in the face

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until its bill withers

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