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A bag of spanners ( a verse for us fuglies)
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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
I haven't published a verse in a while, so with that in mind, I give you my first poem of 2023
When you look like a bag of spanners
It's hard to get a shag
All you can look forward to is Pam, her five siblings,
And an old jizz stained rag
The headboard isn't banging
Against the bedroom wall
No screams or moans or do it again
To make you feel ten feet tall
The flogger is getting dusty
Hanging from it's rack
The crop, the cuffs and paddle,
Well, they've all got the sack
So ladies we beseech thee, out there in fab land
Spare thought for us fuglies,
Come and lend your hand,
Because when you look like a bag of spanners
It's hard to get a shag
Please save us from Pam and her siblings.
And that old jizz stained rag |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
When you look like a bag of spanners
It's hard to get a shag
Without that trusty sex aid
The good old Maccies bag
Just pop one on your noggin
Whilst she's noshing on your cock
And she'll never know that your face looks
Like it was hit by a giant breeze block
So if you're fugly there's always hope
Here's a tip I'd like to teach
If you're both humongous munters
Just wear a Maccies bag each
;-) 
A |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights  |
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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights "
whoever called you fat needs their head examining |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights whoever called you fat needs their head examining "
It's usually the guys I turn down  . I'm no skinny mini, but I'm heading back to the gym soon, once I get medical clearance  |
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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights whoever called you fat needs their head examining
It's usually the guys I turn down . I'm no skinny mini, but I'm heading back to the gym soon, once I get medical clearance "
bruised egos can have some horrible comebacks, I don't understand why some can't accept a simple not interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights "
Pam Ayres is alive and well and living in Stoke..ish lol |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I read your poem and thought it very witty.
I'm disadvantaged too 'cos I'm fat and not that pretty!
I cannot find a local man
to fulfill my naughty plan.
I'd love to have amazing sex,
but after being dumped my ex,
the vision remains in my head,
of being tied to a 4 poster bed.
So I'm looking for a fella to share new delights:
Take me for a pizza and a walk & I'll take you to club nights
Pam Ayres is alive and well and living in Stoke..ish lol "
I've been rumbled. Pam.  |
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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"A bag of spanners
May contain, hidden within,
A beautiful soul. but who on here has time for a beautiful soul, or even time to investigate the possibility.
Make time. "
very few on here are willing to put that much effort in to it, believe my I know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What does ugly mean
Is it an unwanted gene
Looks fade as one gets old
But humour lasts atleast that's what we are told
So embrace who you are
Because you really are someone's bright star
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