FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Comfort zones
Comfort zones
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yesterday, I went to see a play in London. I love the theatre, but I’d only ever seen musicals and I was convinced it would be terrible and cringey.
It was awesome, and very appropriate, given where I’m posting - I won’t advertise it but my friend and I played ‘spot the swingers’ in the interval for a further clue 
I like to say yes to new experiences. Within reason. New foods, new people, new places.
My question to you though, is do you often venture outside of your comfort zone? Or do you stick with the comfy and familiar? How? Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glad you enjoyed it! I was convinced to go watch Grease in the west end and it was really good!
Haha spot the swingers is something I do all the time.
I tend to be good with trying new foods, new places don’t really phase me as I have quite a public facing job so I’m used to presenting to strangers in new places. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yesterday, I went to see a play in London. I love the theatre, but I’d only ever seen musicals and I was convinced it would be terrible and cringey.
It was awesome, and very appropriate, given where I’m posting - I won’t advertise it but my friend and I played ‘spot the swingers’ in the interval for a further clue
I like to say yes to new experiences. Within reason. New foods, new people, new places.
My question to you though, is do you often venture outside of your comfort zone? Or do you stick with the comfy and familiar? How? Why?"
I like to try new things. I went zorbing recently. I'd like to try a new redhead soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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2022 was when I started to lean out ... Less around trying in more hats, more about wearing the hats I already have in public...
2023 is going to be more of a "leap quicker" year and take some gambles.
Especially if it involves meeting fabsters.
(A highlight of 22 being the two socials).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say?
Oh no, you won't."
oh yes you will. 
(I don't care it wasnt a pantomime. These jokes have a shelf life). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have taken myself out of my comfort zone with a few work related things this year and I have survived. It knots me up a little still beforehand but I do feel better for having done it afterwards. So I may try to extend that to pleasurable things aswell this year. Yes, I can allow myself to have fun too. Eek. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends if I can do things on my terms to a certain extent.
I love exploring and trying new things but if I feel stuck in a situation that I am hating I'd have a miserable night. Always good to have a planB to rescue the evening |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say? I’m still confused about this
No, you would get a ban if you posted a link to the theatre's web site though "
Thank you very much for the clarification 
‘The Sex Party’
It really was worth seeing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say? I’m still confused about this
No, you would get a ban if you posted a link to the theatre's web site though
Thank you very much for the clarification
‘The Sex Party’
It really was worth seeing!"
Did you really think saying the words sex and party would get you blocked?!
You're cuter than I thought Red! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say? I’m still confused about this
No, you would get a ban if you posted a link to the theatre's web site though
Thank you very much for the clarification
‘The Sex Party’
It really was worth seeing!"
Was it a matinée?
Or did the curtains open later? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have taken myself out of my comfort zone with a few work related things this year and I have survived. It knots me up a little still beforehand but I do feel better for having done it afterwards. So I may try to extend that to pleasurable things aswell this year. Yes, I can allow myself to have fun too. Eek. "
If the feeling afterwards is as better then hopefully that’s a positive & will give you confidence to push forward this year with some more challenges |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say? I’m still confused about this
No, you would get a ban if you posted a link to the theatre's web site though
Thank you very much for the clarification
‘The Sex Party’
It really was worth seeing!"
Thanks. Never heard of it but have seen plays by the writer before. And that is a good venue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love trying new things in all walks of life. The problem is that I've become quite introvert and lost confidence over the last decade, which makes trying new things difficult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was it a matinée?
Or did the curtains open later?
Twas a matinée. I was home with my cat by 7pm, and I didn’t even turn into a pumpkin."
which was a shame, given your date was Peter, Peter ... |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
When we’re outside of our comfort zones is when growth happens. Being uncomfortable isn’t always a bad thing and doing new things broadens horizons.
I’m all for pushing my boundaries, it’s how I learn new things and find new people!
If we always do what we’ve always done then we’ll always get what we’ve always got |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have taken myself out of my comfort zone with a few work related things this year and I have survived. It knots me up a little still beforehand but I do feel better for having done it afterwards. So I may try to extend that to pleasurable things aswell this year. Yes, I can allow myself to have fun too. Eek.
If the feeling afterwards is as better then hopefully that’s a positive & will give you confidence to push forward this year with some more challenges "
This is what I am hoping yes. The pull to just remain 'safe' is always strong but I will fight it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love trying new things in all walks of life. The problem is that I've become quite introvert and lost confidence over the last decade, which makes trying new things difficult"
Hey 
Do you know why that is? Do you think covid made that feeling worse, or did you feel exactly the same before? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you really think saying the words sex and party would get you blocked?!
I thought it might be seen as advertising"
That made me love you a little bit tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love trying new things in all walks of life. The problem is that I've become quite introvert and lost confidence over the last decade, which makes trying new things difficult
Hey
Do you know why that is? Do you think covid made that feeling worse, or did you feel exactly the same before?"
Hi
I was actually quite the opposite before, confident (probably too much) and life of the party. I had a long, toxic relationship which sapped my confidence over time, and it just continued I guess. COVID didn't have much of an impact on me because I was working through it, so not much changed. I'm working on it now. Probably won't seem like a big deal, but I plan to be more active in the forums on here to start me off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you don’t push you won’t know, if you don’t know that’s a life less lived, "
La vida vivida en miedo es vivida a medias
(Strictly Ballroom film quote)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It depends if I can do things on my terms to a certain extent.
I love exploring and trying new things but if I feel stuck in a situation that I am hating I'd have a miserable night. Always good to have a planB to rescue the evening "
That’s perfect though. To go for it, but know you have an escape route, right? |
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Never played spot the swingers before but I think lockdown has changed how up for new experiences I am. I think I took for granted how much was out there and now things are pretty much back to normal, I'm more likely to yes to new things rather than make up an excuse or be flat out stubborn about not trying new experiences.
Glad you enjoyed your play though! |
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"Yesterday, I went to see a play in London. I love the theatre, but I’d only ever seen musicals and I was convinced it would be terrible and cringey.
It was awesome, and very appropriate, given where I’m posting - I won’t advertise it but my friend and I played ‘spot the swingers’ in the interval for a further clue
I like to say yes to new experiences. Within reason. New foods, new people, new places.
My question to you though, is do you often venture outside of your comfort zone? Or do you stick with the comfy and familiar? How? Why?"
Many moons ago I lived a stones through from a theatre. Made myself a promise that every month I'd go and see whatever was on, regardless of the subject or actors.
Had some amazing nights out....
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love the theatre. Lots of good memories behind the curtain and in front.
I do venture away from my comfort zone, often dragged by good people with good vibes, and I can go with that.
I can’t remember the last time though, I’ve played safe for a while. This year needs to be different.
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Is 'yes and no' an acceptable answer?
I like visiting new places/new restaurants and happy to try (some) new things, but I think they are probably all within a wider comfort zone of what I know, if that makes sense. Taking your example, OP, I would happily go to a play I knew nothing about if a friend wanted to go, but would probably say no if I knew it involved loads of audience participation, which is very much not my comfort zone!
I rarely really force myself to be truly uncomfortable, come to think of it, and enjoy familiarity too and can be a creature of habit if I find something I like...so I guess it's more no than yes! |
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The play sounds amazing OP!
And to answer your question I love pushing outside of my comfort zone but then I’m very comfortable with change as I just embrace what feels right. And being happy.
I do consider things first then if it feels right I go for it  |
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Academically, I'm pretty good: I teach English Literature, but am teaching myself Ancient Greek, reading The Divine Comedy in Italian, love studying and talking about science, etc. The same with theatre, most music, and food: I'm very eclectic in all those areas.
But there are definitely areas where I stick to my comfort zone. I never make the first move even when I really like someone; I've been in my career 20 years (though in my defence, I mostly love it and each day is different).
I do often feel the allure of the road not travelled by. This year, I'm going to take more of them. |
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"What was the play, OP ?
Will I get a ban if I say? I’m still confused about this
No, you would get a ban if you posted a link to the theatre's web site though
Thank you very much for the clarification
‘The Sex Party’
It really was worth seeing!"
You're welcome . I'm not being patronising but you know where to find the forum rules and FAQS?
Sounds like a good play, I haven't been to the theatre for hundreds of years |
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"Yesterday, I went to see a play in London. I love the theatre, but I’d only ever seen musicals and I was convinced it would be terrible and cringey.
It was awesome, and very appropriate, given where I’m posting - I won’t advertise it but my friend and I played ‘spot the swingers’ in the interval for a further clue
I like to say yes to new experiences. Within reason. New foods, new people, new places.
My question to you though, is do you often venture outside of your comfort zone? Or do you stick with the comfy and familiar? How? Why?"
I’m a bit of a paradox, really. My friends are always surprised at big lone steps I take in life. I’ve moved away from ‘home’ in two big house and job moves in the last decade. One worked out, the other didn’t and now I’m moving back haha.
But then I tend to avoid the little things on my own. I’m not one for holidays or outings by myself, I prefer to share the experience. Don’t think that’s a comfort zone thing, but maybe I’m masking.
I’m a foodie and love trying new cuisine. Had Japanese and Vietnamese last year as well as some great local Spanish dishes. Why did I wait so long?!!!
I’ve always loved watching plays but didn’t think I’d like musicals. But I’ve now seen Phantom and Jesus Christ Superstar. Phantom was surprisingly good!
Love the sound of that play, Red! |
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I love new challenges. I’m quite impetuous by nature & very much have a “what’s the worst than can happen” attitude. And I have been caught out a few times . But I’ve always survived. Being a mom curtailed it to a degree, but as they’re getting older and closer to flying the nest - the old me is definitely making a re-appearance.
I’ve definitely pushed out of what little comfort zone & barriers I had up in recent months. I’m looking forward to the year ahead. Hopefully I’ll survive it again - lol |
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Back in November, I went to a gig on my own, away from home, stayed over night, only done that once before, but this time I met up with other fans who were complete strangers, totally out of my comfort zone, had massive anxiety, but did it anyway.
Hoping to do more of that this year. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to do lots of things out my comfort zone but since the menopause I just want a simple quiet life.
I do still like trying new foods though"
Excellent, I love it. Anything you’ve tried lately that you’d recommend? I tried blue cheese this Christmas. I won’t do that again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it is not related to sex, I always venture outside of it.
When it is related to sex, I stay in my comfort zone "
Dude, your comfort zone is the arse end of a mini maestro!! |
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"I used to do lots of things out my comfort zone but since the menopause I just want a simple quiet life.
I do still like trying new foods though
Excellent, I love it. Anything you’ve tried lately that you’d recommend? I tried blue cheese this Christmas. I won’t do that again "
Well I was going to try smoked salmon with beetroot and orange but when I went to get it out the fridge it was passed its sell buy date  Blue cheese is my favourite. I always have Colston basset Stilton at Christmas thats my favourite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Many moons ago I lived a stones through from a theatre. Made myself a promise that every month I'd go and see whatever was on, regardless of the subject or actors.
Had some amazing nights out....
Winston "
It feels more…immersive, doesn’t it? I think I’ll be doing more theatre-going, this year. There was something exhilarating about being so close to the stage, too. One of the actresses had a really strong perfume I recognised, that came in with a waft when she came back on stage. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're welcome . I'm not being patronising but you know where to find the forum rules and FAQS?
Sounds like a good play, I haven't been to the theatre for hundreds of years "
Thank you, I do tend to check before I post on a thread, if I think it might be contentious x |
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"
Many moons ago I lived a stones through from a theatre. Made myself a promise that every month I'd go and see whatever was on, regardless of the subject or actors.
Had some amazing nights out....
Winston
It feels more…immersive, doesn’t it? I think I’ll be doing more theatre-going, this year. There was something exhilarating about being so close to the stage, too. One of the actresses had a really strong perfume I recognised, that came in with a waft when she came back on stage."
Where I now live, I can see the theatre from the top floor.
I really should make an effort to get there every month, like I used to.
Sarah Pascoe is here soon, got to get a ticket for that gig!
Winston |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Oh it sounds fantastic OP, glad you had a good night!
I'm hoping to go and see a friend's show in a couple of months time, very much looking forward to it.
And I've realised recently that no, I don't often step out of my comfort zone. I'm quite privileged. Love travelling. Meeting people. Adventuring. But I allow my self doubt to talk me out of things far too oft. So the new year is definitely going to be about exploring more, doing more. Not just staying in with a facemask and reading a book. |
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I stay safely in my comfort zone, but it is an adventurous one. Solo holidays, house moves, new jobs, I'm happily ok doing that big stuff
My main unsureness is with food. As food is my security blanket for pleasing my brain, I am very untrustworthy of new tastes. I luckily have good trustworthy friends who are expanding my mind on new tastes from around the world |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
I like a good adventure, so stepping outside my own or helping people step outside of their comfort zones is fun and can be exhilarating.
I used to be an “I know what I like and I like what I know” person, until the wife exposed me to new food, new places, new experiences… and we have been hooked ever since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll go against the grain a little and say familiar doesnt have to equal comfortable. Exploring or understanding anything properly can take a lifetime and be full of surprises. As long as you retain passion and enthusiasm then existing interests can still contain new adventures. |
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"Oh it sounds fantastic OP, glad you had a good night!
I'm hoping to go and see a friend's show in a couple of months time, very much looking forward to it.
And I've realised recently that no, I don't often step out of my comfort zone. I'm quite privileged. Love travelling. Meeting people. Adventuring. But I allow my self doubt to talk me out of things far too oft. So the new year is definitely going to be about exploring more, doing more. Not just staying in with a facemask and reading a book. "
Yes step out Meli, don’t talk yourself out of things which could be fun. Now that’s me stating things I should not be doing so I will stop doing that if you do!
I did find my smile today, when I looked at yours in your first pic x
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
I might be able to do a couple of weeks work in either Mongolia or Pakistan later this year. They are both places I'd love to go, but I will need to hit the ground running, in a very public facing role.
Exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time!
Gbat |
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"I'll go against the grain a little and say familiar doesnt have to equal comfortable. Exploring or understanding anything properly can take a lifetime and be full of surprises. As long as you retain passion and enthusiasm then existing interests can still contain new adventures."
I love this & 100% agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I might be able to do a couple of weeks work in either Mongolia or Pakistan later this year. They are both places I'd love to go, but I will need to hit the ground running, in a very public facing role.
Exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time!
Gbat "
Oh WOW. This is real squeaky bum stuff!
How much later in the year? Do you get a decent amount of time to prepare for one or the other? |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
""I might be able to do a couple of weeks work in either Mongolia or Pakistan later this year. ......."
Oh WOW. This is real squeaky bum stuff!
How much later in the year? Do you get a decent amount of time to prepare for one or the other?"
I'll be sorting out the finer details next week, hopefully. After that I'll get a briefing but how much personal research I do is up to me. The work is in mid summer.
I've got an excellent reputation with the relevant company, so they will be expecting good stuff from me, but it's very different from the way I normally work with them, so a bit scary too!
I won't actually get to go there until the same time as the clients and will need to seem like an expert from the very first minute!
Luckily, I like being centre stage and I think I feel like a stand up comedian must feel when going on stage in a new venue. Bring it on! (But a few sleepless nights the week before!).
Gbat |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I try to -whoever away alone I use Airbnb experiences you find some very random but great things and meet all kinds of people. Rooftop cooking, flamenco guitar lessons ,local pub crawls. I’m Zambia I got to pet a cheetah that was awesome & scary |
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By *ezzelsMan
over a year ago
cheshire and north wales |
I’m always outside my comfort zone at work..dealing with serious and devasting env and social issues in 95 countries to date…and I love the theatre…culture generally…you should always push yourself..I think..kez x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to -whoever away alone I use Airbnb experiences you find some very random but great things and meet all kinds of people. Rooftop cooking, flamenco guitar lessons ,local pub crawls. I’m Zambia I got to pet a cheetah that was awesome & scary "
I read that as you got a pet cheetah!
That's more a Dubai thing tho.
Air BnB FTW. I rarely stay on a hotel outside of work. |
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"I apply this to travel all the time. Not exactly danger tourism but I do end up doing some strange stuff
What kind of strange stuff…? "
Wandering round places in Mexico and having to brought back to the hotel by some nice army chaps due to the parts of town I ended up in. I thought everyone was positively friendly.
Tea that escalated into a two night stay with some Sahrawis in the Western Sahara due to a landmine blowing the road.
Hitchhiking in Egypt. (Wouldn’t do that again now sadly)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""I might be able to do a couple of weeks work in either Mongolia or Pakistan later this year. ......."
Oh WOW. This is real squeaky bum stuff!
How much later in the year? Do you get a decent amount of time to prepare for one or the other?
I'll be sorting out the finer details next week, hopefully. After that I'll get a briefing but how much personal research I do is up to me. The work is in mid summer.
I've got an excellent reputation with the relevant company, so they will be expecting good stuff from me, but it's very different from the way I normally work with them, so a bit scary too!
I won't actually get to go there until the same time as the clients and will need to seem like an expert from the very first minute!
Luckily, I like being centre stage and I think I feel like a stand up comedian must feel when going on stage in a new venue. Bring it on! (But a few sleepless nights the week before!).
Gbat "
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d love to venture out of my comfort zone given the opportunity.
I have ventured out of it in ‘real’ life … but there’s plenty of scope in ‘fab’ life for more …. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From my experience of meeting “swingers” they are impossible to spot because the represent a random cross section of the public. "
Absolutely, but at a play called The Sex Party, there were always going to be one or two, and some people do have a sexy look about them, no matter whatever the occasion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From my experience of meeting “swingers” they are impossible to spot because the represent a random cross section of the public.
Absolutely, but at a play called The Sex Party, there were always going to be one or two, and some people do have a sexy look about them, no matter whatever the occasion "
plus a few may have been converted at the play !! |
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"From my experience of meeting “swingers” they are impossible to spot because the represent a random cross section of the public.
Absolutely, but at a play called The Sex Party, there were always going to be one or two, and some people do have a sexy look about them, no matter whatever the occasion "
Just check the "Who's Near" section and see if their seat number pops up
LvM |
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"Yesterday, I went to see a play in London. I love the theatre, but I’d only ever seen musicals and I was convinced it would be terrible and cringey.
It was awesome, and very appropriate, given where I’m posting - I won’t advertise it but my friend and I played ‘spot the swingers’ in the interval for a further clue
I like to say yes to new experiences. Within reason. New foods, new people, new places.
My question to you though, is do you often venture outside of your comfort zone? Or do you stick with the comfy and familiar? How? Why?"
Last in we went to see the adult version of Sleeping Beauty (called Sleeping With Beauty)
I'm not a fan of pantomime but thought, sod it!!
Turned out to be super sexy great fun..
We also went to a play party for the first time together, something I was really nervous about.
We have since been again, and have tickets for the next one in a couple of weeks..
So sometimes it's definitely worth stepping out of your comfort zone I think
B |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Last in we went to see the adult version of Sleeping Beauty (called Sleeping With Beauty)
I'm not a fan of pantomime but thought, sod it!!
Turned out to be super sexy great fun..
We also went to a play party for the first time together, something I was really nervous about.
We have since been again, and have tickets for the next one in a couple of weeks..
So sometimes it's definitely worth stepping out of your comfort zone I think
B"
Parties and clubs can be SO nerve wracking! That’s awesome that you’ve tried and it’s worked brilliantly for you. Nothing better to get the heart pumping, the adrenaline rushing |
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Quite a few years ago I flippantly told my mum I'd like to go up in a hot air balloon and forgot about it. So for my 50th she surprised me with a hot air balloon experience. My friends where really shocked as I won't go on a fairground ride ir anything.
Noone would believe I would do it. Well I did and it was amazing would do it again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Quite a few years ago I flippantly told my mum I'd like to go up in a hot air balloon and forgot about it. So for my 50th she surprised me with a hot air balloon experience. My friends where really shocked as I won't go on a fairground ride ir anything.
Noone would believe I would do it. Well I did and it was amazing would do it again"
I’d love that. That feeling of flying really captures me. How long was your ‘flight’, Diamond? What did you see while you were up there, soaring? |
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