FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do some women write to men in prison
Why do some women write to men in prison
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because they're somewhat in control of the 'relationship'. They *know* where they are/what they're doing. They think they're special/the 'only' one he's writing to.. Bad men are very sexy to some women |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Because they won't pester for a meet. "
This! 
Though if there's any octogenarian, multimillionaire, single women on death row in the states that fancy a bit of last minute conjugal visit rumpty pumpty before they're plugged into the mains/shot/injected with bleach.....drop me a line.
As soon as the ink is dry on the marriage certificate I'll give you one last fingerbang.....   
A |
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My ex girlfriends daughter in law is a pen pal with a few well know serial killers here in the UK and across the pond.
All part of her career research.
The ex was a prison officer at a jail with a couple of serial killers. One of them was scary as fuck apparently.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. "
What has being guilty have to do with writing to someone?
Surely they still have a personality, they may never experience freedom again but they are still human. Loneliness is loneliness wherever you are, be it in a top security prison or your own home.
They might even feel regret for whatever they did, but still have to do the time.
Whose to say men don’t write to women on death row?
I find your question sexist
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF.
What has being guilty have to do with writing to someone?
Surely they still have a personality, they may never experience freedom again but they are still human. Loneliness is loneliness wherever you are, be it in a top security prison or your own home.
They might even feel regret for whatever they did, but still have to do the time.
Whose to say men don’t write to women on death row?
I find your question sexist
"
Yes it’s a sexist question. Because I’m interested to hear from the female perspective. You’ve provided insight, and I thank you for contributing to this sexist thread.  |
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Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation. "
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners … |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked. "
You don’t have to be on this thread. You’ve chosen to be antagonistic for some reason. Perhaps find another thread to your liking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked.
You don’t have to be on this thread. You’ve chosen to be antagonistic for some reason. Perhaps find another thread to your liking."
You could answer these valid questions though. Were you watching the Night Stalker series, or similar, that brought about the thread? That would help with context. |
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"Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked.
You don’t have to be on this thread. You’ve chosen to be antagonistic for some reason. Perhaps find another thread to your liking."
I wasn't being antagonistic. Maybe look inside yourself for that.
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"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation.
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners …"
The punishment for those inside is having their freedom taken away. That's already been done.
If someone wants to write to them why should they be denied or measured against a lonely pensioner ? |
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"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation.
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners …"
Playing Devils advocate, how do you know they don't?
Winston |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. "
Yes, very clear.
The rate of successful appeal against a conviction is very high in the UK.
C |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation.
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners …
Playing Devils advocate, how do you know they don't?
Winston "
I don’t think they do. I have known one woman write and one who wanted to write to serial killers
From my limited knowledge it’s out of fascination and fantasy not charity. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. "
How does it make it clear when the system itself is partly corrupted. Amount of folk whom have been on death row and after been executed were found to be innocent and later charged the correct felon
Maybe because they know won't be inundated with cock shots |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When did being guilty stop a person getting a letter.
Why are tv shows/films/books about crime so popular. People are interested. "
99% of the time it’s women who are watching these programmes, reading the books and avidly listening to the podcasts. Am I wrong |
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"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation.
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners …
Playing Devils advocate, how do you know they don't?
Winston
I don’t think they do. I have known one woman write and one who wanted to write to serial killers
From my limited knowledge it’s out of fascination and fantasy not charity."
In my 'limited' experience, when i've seen documentaries of women writing to men in prison i've always thought them to be a 'bit odd' ..... except the ones who do it for writing content and the ones that are part of 'befriending' type services. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF.
How does it make it clear when the system itself is partly corrupted. Amount of folk whom have been on death row and after been executed were found to be innocent and later charged the correct felon
Maybe because they know won't be inundated with cock shots "
So either you genuinely believe it’s because they won’t be sent D pics or you just don’t know. I think the later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When did being guilty stop a person getting a letter.
Why are tv shows/films/books about crime so popular. People are interested.
99% of the time it’s women who are watching these programmes, reading the books and avidly listening to the podcasts. Am I wrong "
Yes  It was my ex with the fascination and he was male |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure theres something about controlled vulnerability. People with trauma in their past are drawn to replicating the cycle/trauma response due to low esteem & doing it in a structured/ restricted/ limited method is more safe than meeting new people in public. Similar to people being drawn to new abusers after leaving past abusers. I'd guess more women are into crime documentaries as a result of living with the perceived threats women receive on a frequent basis. How to understand the threat is how to prevent/ avoid being at harm. Also, like why some people who drive, enjoy dash can videos. |
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"Because they are caring individuals who recognise the plight of those who have fallen foul of societies laws - they believe in humane treatment and wish to contribute to rehabilitation.
Playing devils avocado, aren’t there needy people in local communities that deserve help? Perhaps lonely pensioners spending Xmas day alone. What prioritise prisoners …
Playing Devils advocate, how do you know they don't?
Winston
I don’t think they do. I have known one woman write and one who wanted to write to serial killers
From my limited knowledge it’s out of fascination and fantasy not charity."
That's not the answer to the question I asked.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people generally do it, men and women.
I guess it's for morbid curiosity. Maybe they think they're innocent. Maybe they want tips. Maybe they want to change them.
Either or. |
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer"
...you turned on Netflix recently, man?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer"
Men can't be interested in psychology too? |
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer
Men can't be interested in psychology too? "
Only if they're creepy AF. Apparently.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer
Men can't be interested in psychology too? "
I did psychology at A level and loved it because it was full of hotties to be fair |
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A colleague of mine does this from time to time. She’s married with a family. Her motivation is that she thinks her ‘normality’ will be a good influence on them.
Willing to bet she doesn’t invite them to stay when they’re released though
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer
Men can't be interested in psychology too?
I did psychology at A level and loved it because it was full of hotties to be fair "
I salute you Sir |
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"A colleague of mine does this from time to time. She’s married with a family. Her motivation is that she thinks her ‘normality’ will be a good influence on them.
Willing to bet she doesn’t invite them to stay when they’re released though
"
My ex's DiL gets hair trimmings in her reply letters.
By the looks, not off their head. 
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer
...you turned on Netflix recently, man?
"
Playing devils avocado
I’m interested to know what pleasure you get from females being murdered . ? |
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"A colleague of mine does this from time to time. She’s married with a family. Her motivation is that she thinks her ‘normality’ will be a good influence on them.
Willing to bet she doesn’t invite them to stay when they’re released though
My ex's DiL gets hair trimmings in her reply letters.
By the looks, not off their head.
Winston "
Oooo how thoughtful
I bet she’ll feel like she’s missed out if I ask her !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A colleague of mine does this from time to time. She’s married with a family. Her motivation is that she thinks her ‘normality’ will be a good influence on them.
Willing to bet she doesn’t invite them to stay when they’re released though
"
#forthegangbang |
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"A colleague of mine does this from time to time. She’s married with a family. Her motivation is that she thinks her ‘normality’ will be a good influence on them.
Willing to bet she doesn’t invite them to stay when they’re released though
My ex's DiL gets hair trimmings in her reply letters.
By the looks, not off their head.
Winston
Oooo how thoughtful
I bet she’ll feel like she’s missed out if I ask her !! "
FOMO.
Winston |
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"Any man interested in serial killer material is a creepy AF . I can respect that a lady might want to try and workout if her partner is a creepy AF serial killer
...you turned on Netflix recently, man?
Playing devils avocado
I’m interested to know what pleasure you get from females being murdered . ? "
What a delightfully subjective hidden blade of a question; you're alright you are
That's a helluva leap though, sir. I didn't even say I watched them, but their popularity (gender non-specific, for victim or accused) is undisputed.
Because people love narrative. Stories define us, as much as creation/destruction. People will always gravitate to a narrative they don't understand.
Curiosity, research, bad decision, whichever of the many reasons: we bloody love a strange narrative. |
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"Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked.
You don’t have to be on this thread. You’ve chosen to be antagonistic for some reason. Perhaps find another thread to your liking."
They are reasonable points though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was talking to a very wise fabber recently about detachment, and how prison guards are able to detach from the fact the detainees have committed these crimes, and most see them as defined by those crimes - they are able to see them as people, like the rest of us. It doesn’t mean those crimes are insignificant to those guards. And I think for a lot of people who choose to write to/visit people who’ve committed unforgivable crimes, they see them in that same way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was talking to a very wise fabber recently about detachment, and how prison guards are able to detach from the fact the detainees have committed these crimes, and most see them as defined by those crimes - they are able to see them as people, like the rest of us. It doesn’t mean those crimes are insignificant to those guards. And I think for a lot of people who choose to write to/visit people who’ve committed unforgivable crimes, they see them in that same way."
I do understand what you are saying. As a human being what you say is fair and compassionate.
However, there are criminals, murderers , some of the most heinous crimes ever committed. I’ve watched crime shows where the serial killers are some of the most charming, charismatic people one would ever meet. And will swear blind they are innocent.
Should prison guards be empathetic to their prisoners! absolutely. They should be kept jailed and treated fairly.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to write to two guys in prison. One I knew and one was the friend of a friend. Neither was in for anything to serious. It was just a pen pal set up"
Thank you for sharing.
Can I ask if you met the guys once they were released ? Did you continue to have a correspondence or contact with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyway O.P. you didn't give enough information
Are these men the boyfriends , fathers, sons of these women prior to incarceration or are they complete strangers?
Are the letters purely platonic or of a hobby interest or do they get racey....
Shit question you asked.
You don’t have to be on this thread. You’ve chosen to be antagonistic for some reason. Perhaps find another thread to your liking.
They are reasonable points though "
For you Sophieslut, I must below my thoughts when I created the question:
Essentially why do British women pen-pal American prisoners on death row.
They are complete strangers
Letters exchanged sexual and platonic but not for purpose of research.
And it wasn’t a shit question. Plenty of people were able to ask a reply to my initial question.
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"I used to write to two guys in prison. One I knew and one was the friend of a friend. Neither was in for anything to serious. It was just a pen pal set up
Thank you for sharing.
Can I ask if you met the guys once they were released ? Did you continue to have a correspondence or contact with them. "
The one I knew o carried on seeing him on a platonic way . The other used to send me vo s to go and see him but he went back to Ireland when he came out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do understand what you are saying. As a human being what you say is fair and compassionate.
However, there are criminals, murderers , some of the most heinous crimes ever committed. I’ve watched crime shows where the serial killers are some of the most charming, charismatic people one would ever meet. And will swear blind they are innocent.
Should prison guards be empathetic to their prisoners! absolutely. They should be kept jailed and treated fairly.
"
Of course. But you didn’t address my point that there are people/pen friends capable of that same level of detachment, who communicate with the people you speak of. Peter Sutcliffe being one. His crimes were abhorrent, but he had many intelligent articulate pen friends. They made life while he was incarcerated better for him AND the prison at large.
Any type of human connection prevents pervasive feelings of hopelessness, stops inmates conducting various types of disruptive behaviour. And just because *you* don’t understand it (the people befriending, not the criminals themselves)…does it deserve condemnation? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do understand what you are saying. As a human being what you say is fair and compassionate.
However, there are criminals, murderers , some of the most heinous crimes ever committed. I’ve watched crime shows where the serial killers are some of the most charming, charismatic people one would ever meet. And will swear blind they are innocent.
Should prison guards be empathetic to their prisoners! absolutely. They should be kept jailed and treated fairly.
Of course. But you didn’t address my point that there are people/pen friends capable of that same level of detachment, who communicate with the people you speak of. Peter Sutcliffe being one. His crimes were abhorrent, but he had many intelligent articulate pen friends. They made life while he was incarcerated better for him AND the prison at large.
Any type of human connection prevents pervasive feelings of hopelessness, stops inmates conducting various types of disruptive behaviour. And just because *you* don’t understand it (the people befriending, not the criminals themselves)…does it deserve condemnation?"
I created this thread to understand the motives of the females writing to people like Sutcliffe. You have been respectful and articulate making your points that has helped me understand your perspective.
I want to state: Sutcliffe should be treated humanly and fairly. His mental health and well being should be respected and protected.
I didn’t at anytime state his privileges of communication be withheld. If I did please tell me where?
I didn’t at anytime state females or anyone should’ve banned from writing to people like Sutcliffe. If I did please tell me where.
For those who aren’t aware of Sutcliffe’s crimes
Sutcliffe was convicted of murdering 13 women and attempting to murder seven others between 1975 and 1980. He was sentenced to 20 concurrent sentences of life imprisonment, which were converted to a whole life order in 2010 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Convicted serial killers should not be treated humanly and fairly! Their mental health is entirely irrelevant. Utterly vile."
Should people be allowed to write them ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Convicted serial killers should not be treated humanly and fairly! Their mental health is entirely irrelevant. Utterly vile.
Should people be allowed to write them ? "
I wouldn't allow it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I didn’t at anytime state his privileges of communication be withheld. If I did please tell me where?
I didn’t at anytime state females or anyone should’ve banned from writing to people like Sutcliffe. If I did please tell me where."
We’re talking about why women communicate with detainees(and I’ve converted it to people, because there are many men who choose to communicate with detainees also). I suggested that some can detach and see detainees as humans, despite their crimes. There are benefits to the prison/secure facility at large, outside each individual relationship. I didn’t mention privileges being withheld or banned - that’s not a point I’ve made.
I did counter by asking if people who engage in these forms of communication should be condemned, and by this I mean condemned by people writing on threads on fabs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Convicted serial killers should not be treated humanly and fairly! Their mental health is entirely irrelevant. Utterly vile.
Should people be allowed to write them ?
I wouldn't allow it."
I don’t ever won’t to defend a heinous multiple murderer. The reason the UK Government removed the death sentence was because of the number of innocent people sentenced and once a life is taken it can’t ever be reversed.
We need to defend the basic rights of everyone. Once we begin to choose who has access to human rights and who doesn’t, we start to dissolve our humanity. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I didn’t at anytime state his privileges of communication be withheld. If I did please tell me where?
I didn’t at anytime state females or anyone should’ve banned from writing to people like Sutcliffe. If I did please tell me where.
We’re talking about why women communicate with detainees(and I’ve converted it to people, because there are many men who choose to communicate with detainees also). I suggested that some can detach and see detainees as humans, despite their crimes. There are benefits to the prison/secure facility at large, outside each individual relationship. I didn’t mention privileges being withheld or banned - that’s not a point I’ve made.
I did counter by asking if people who engage in these forms of communication should be condemned, and by this I mean condemned by people writing on threads on fabs."
Nobody has condemned anyone. Nobody had said anyone that writes to these criminals are bad people.
Where did you read on this thread any condemnation ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody has condemned anyone. Nobody had said anyone that writes to these criminals are bad people.
Where did you read on this thread any condemnation ? "
It’s a question I’m asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's such a thing as friends.
Some women (and men) want to make friends and maybe want to help someone in prison, bring some light into their life by having a friend there.
Not all inmates are guilty either. The UK justice system gets it wrong sometimes - the American justice system gets it wrong alot.
(And no I don't write to prisoners) I just don't see why they can't have penpals and enjoy conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nobody has condemned anyone. Nobody had said anyone that writes to these criminals are bad people.
Where did you read on this thread any condemnation ?
It’s a question I’m asking."
I now understand. And just to make clear I don’t condemned the people writing to this heinous people. I don’t think these killers can change. And prison remains the only place for them.
My opinion I think there is something weird about the people that write to heinous prisoners for platonic / sexual reasons.
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I don’t totally understand it myself but I’m sure part of it is that they know these men won’t be out anytime soon so it’s a safe way to toy with danger, so to speak. I’m sure if they were told they were suddenly getting out, they would be scared! Or maybe these women genuinely think they have the power to change these men.
C x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t totally understand it myself but I’m sure part of it is that they know these men won’t be out anytime soon so it’s a safe way to toy with danger, so to speak. I’m sure if they were told they were suddenly getting out, they would be scared! Or maybe these women genuinely think they have the power to change these men.
C x"
There have been cases where women marry these guys . That guy Charles Brosnan married one of his fans sone years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Psycopaths and sociopaths are hugely gifted at eliciting sympathy and presenting a fake human face to hide their monstrosity. Ted Bundy is a famous example of someone who fooled many intelligent people (and it was particularly women;he was quite handsome) of his humanity and innocence right to the end.
I suspect people who write to serial killers have honest motives but are largely quite gullible and naive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Psycopaths and sociopaths are hugely gifted at eliciting sympathy and presenting a fake human face to hide their monstrosity. Ted Bundy is a famous example of someone who fooled many intelligent people (and it was particularly women;he was quite handsome) of his humanity and innocence right to the end.
I suspect people who write to serial killers have honest motives but are largely quite gullible and naive."
I concur with your points and have heard similar about Bundy. Some of the females do seem to campaign for the release of these prisoners. That’s clearly understandable when they are emotionally involved with these heinous prisoners.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody has condemned anyone. Nobody had said anyone that writes to these criminals are bad people.
Where did you read on this thread any condemnation ?
It’s a question I’m asking.
I now understand. And just to make clear I don’t condemned the people writing to this heinous people. I don’t think these killers can change. And prison remains the only place for them.
**My opinion I think there is something weird about the people that write to heinous prisoners for platonic / sexual reasons.
"
** |
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"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. "
its the feel sorry for them but also they are incarcerated so a safe bet, maybe their only chance for love, or the bad boy syndrome |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. "
are they ? the reported cases of miscarriages of justice of death row inmates is worryingly high especially among bame inmates . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do some women become pen friends with those in prison or death row in the states ?
Surely it’s clear they’re guilty AF. are they ? the reported cases of miscarriages of justice of death row inmates is worryingly high especially among bame inmates ."
So only the innocent ones are being written to ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think Google would have been the best option for rhiz question or are you planning a stay with his majesty..
Just getting the low down.. "
Google says no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Psycopaths and sociopaths are hugely gifted at eliciting sympathy and presenting a fake human face to hide their monstrosity. Ted Bundy is a famous example of someone who fooled many intelligent people (and it was particularly women;he was quite handsome) of his humanity and innocence right to the end.
I suspect people who write to serial killers have honest motives but are largely quite gullible and naive.
I concur with your points and have heard similar about Bundy. Some of the females do seem to campaign for the release of these prisoners. That’s clearly understandable when they are emotionally involved with these heinous prisoners.
"
there must be a hell of a lot of trust on the female side if openly giving out mailing address
I expect none are as foolish to give out a mailing address
perhaps a private mailing box number. |
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