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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As soon as ya open ya eyes ya have to rush off to loo..... 
Quick dash and pop heating on and dive back under duvet awhile....that seems to be my morning rountine....whats yours? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the times im normally in the rush for the loo is when im approx 5 mins from home and then it seams like forever because my house keys always play fecking hide n seek at the bottom of my handbag.
pretty good in the mornings, been awake since 5.30ish and not moved yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"the times im normally in the rush for the loo is when im approx 5 mins from home and then it seams like forever because my house keys always play fecking hide n seek at the bottom of my handbag.
pretty good in the mornings, been awake since 5.30ish and not moved yet"
My bladdders atleast twenty yrs older than yours  so just u wait ....u wont be laying there without a loo dash wen ya my age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the same ..except once I'm up I'm up and coffee pot on x
Nope, tucked back up, nice and cosy under the duvet and not going anywhere till daylight.  "
Well if I wasn't @ my daughters and sleeping in my grandaughters Dora the explorer bed .. Maybe would do the same..pmsl |
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Wake up - stumble to bathroom, try to pee, but fight against morning glory to do so, end up sitting down but leaning forward as far as possible. Still end up peeing between pan and loo seat. Stop. Clean up floor and feet. Try again, but trying to aim into loo (might as well try nailing jelly to wall). Finish. Flush. Wash hands and cock. Go back to bed. Morning glory subsides finally. Need pee.... Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
Tough being a bloke at times!
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Bash the alarm several times, tell the dog to feck off, crawl out of ma pit, discover the milk has turned, take poor bemused mutt to shop for fresh milk, wait for him to irrigate a lamppost, return home & make cuppa x3, ring customer who has only just woken up themself, make another cuppa & 2 slices of toast with thick cut marmalade, do sudoku puzzle, when phone rings set out in anticipation of an early finish, swear at a lot of inconsiderate motorists & traffic lights, get to said job & have another cuppa
Well you did ask |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"As soon as ya open ya eyes ya have to rush off to loo.....
Quick dash and pop heating on and dive back under duvet awhile....that seems to be my morning rountine....whats yours? "
I used to be like that until I had an hysterectomy. Without stuff pressing on my bladder it's much better able to cope with waiting until I'm ready to move.
Then it's back to bed until I either have to get up or want to get up. It's so grey and rainy today I'm just doing the jobs I can do from bed (put the washing machine on and get back into bed, for instance). |
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"Wake up - stumble to bathroom, try to pee, but fight against morning glory to do so, end up sitting down but leaning forward as far as possible. Still end up peeing between pan and loo seat. Stop. Clean up floor and feet. Try again, but trying to aim into loo (might as well try nailing jelly to wall). Finish. Flush. Wash hands and cock. Go back to bed. Morning glory subsides finally. Need pee.... Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
Tough being a bloke at times!
"
Wouldn't it be easier to pee in the shower??? |
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"Wake up - stumble to bathroom, try to pee, but fight against morning glory to do so, end up sitting down but leaning forward as far as possible. Still end up peeing between pan and loo seat. Stop. Clean up floor and feet. Try again, but trying to aim into loo (might as well try nailing jelly to wall). Finish. Flush. Wash hands and cock. Go back to bed. Morning glory subsides finally. Need pee.... Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
Tough being a bloke at times!
Wouldn't it be easier to pee in the shower??? "
I might be a bloke, but no....
Besides, I'd hit the ceiling...  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Wake up - stumble to bathroom, try to pee, but fight against morning glory to do so, end up sitting down but leaning forward as far as possible. Still end up peeing between pan and loo seat. Stop. Clean up floor and feet. Try again, but trying to aim into loo (might as well try nailing jelly to wall). Finish. Flush. Wash hands and cock. Go back to bed. Morning glory subsides finally. Need pee.... Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
Tough being a bloke at times!
Wouldn't it be easier to pee in the shower???
I might be a bloke, but no....
Besides, I'd hit the ceiling... "
It's what the sink was invented for. Or do a handstand in the shower. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Bash the alarm several times, tell the dog to feck off, crawl out of ma pit, discover the milk has turned, take poor bemused mutt to shop for fresh milk, wait for him to irrigate a lamppost, return home & make cuppa x3, ring customer who has only just woken up themself, make another cuppa & 2 slices of toast with thick cut marmalade, do sudoku puzzle, when phone rings set out in anticipation of an early finish, swear at a lot of inconsiderate motorists & traffic lights, get to said job & have another cuppa
Well you did ask "
You have a seriously strong bladder |
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"Wake up - stumble to bathroom, try to pee, but fight against morning glory to do so, end up sitting down but leaning forward as far as possible. Still end up peeing between pan and loo seat. Stop. Clean up floor and feet. Try again, but trying to aim into loo (might as well try nailing jelly to wall). Finish. Flush. Wash hands and cock. Go back to bed. Morning glory subsides finally. Need pee.... Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
Tough being a bloke at times!
Wouldn't it be easier to pee in the shower???
I might be a bloke, but no....
Besides, I'd hit the ceiling...
It's what the sink was invented for. Or do a handstand in the shower. "
Sink = same problem. Aiming downwards is NOT an option. 
As for a handstand.... yeah, right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to make you all feel better - well, for a few years anyway!!
Three old guys in a nursing home are having their daily moan!
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
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"I don't wake up until 7:00."
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
It's what the sink was invented for. Or do a handstand in the shower.
Sink = same problem. Aiming downwards is NOT an option.
As for a handstand.... yeah, right! "
Although its not the best time to sing in the shower |
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