FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When a person you’re interested in rarely or never meets someone of your body type
When a person you’re interested in rarely or never meets someone of your body type
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Hi all.
I’ve seen many comments over the years on many threads - not necessarily with this topic as the header - but comments from people who are reluctant to meet men (or women) who don’t generally meet people with their body type.
I’m asking this because many of the men I meet are verified by slim, athletic and often younger women.
Whilst I’m aware that many of my public pics depict a slim woman - I make no bones both on my profile and in pm’s that I’m no longer slim - and generally send a rather stark (no makeup) pic before meeting for the first time so the guy knows exactly what he’s getting.
Here’s the thing though (and this effectively a message of love to the many curvier ladies (and men with dad bods) out there who are reluctant to meet those who generally meet slim/athletic people) - the vast majority are still really keen to meet me. The inference is often that - even if I no longer have a ‘perfect’ body I bring something to the table that they’re still very keen to meet (I think it’s the unique way I convulse with laughter after a fanny fart tbh - word gets round!  )
If someone has on their profile that they have a definite preference for a certain body type (that isn’t mine) then I wouldn’t message - but otherwise I see most people as fair game. I guess it helps that I don’t get remotely upset/offended by rejection on here though - I have enough people who love me in the real world to be happy with who/what I am.
Tonight, all being well, I’m due to meet a hot guy who’s only met slim women. I sent a no makeup nekid pic and he didn’t vomit - so all’s good. 
Just want to send love and confidence out there to anyone who - like me - has a body with imperfections and wobbly bits. It doesn’t mean you can’t meet people you find attractive.
Happy to have a discussion about this though - it wasn’t intended as a monologue.
I’m off to wash my hair and walk the dog - back later (or tomorrow if the meet goes particularly well!  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would wonder if this is something of a one way street on here due to the gender imbalance. Female profiles for example are usually much more specific about physical preferences and men who don't match those are unlikely to even get a reply, so personality and personal chemistry have no chance.
Good luck with the meet OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
|
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This is a lovely, affirming, positive thread - thank you. I think, without meaning to be all Grinchy, that it is perhaps truer of women meeting more athletic men than the other way round, and thus partly to do with demographics, as so much here is.
That's not a whinge! It makes perfect sense for women to be super-choosy and men to be less so on here, and frankly it's about time, given what is often the case beyond these hallowed halls. But if I, with what could most generously be described as a Dad bod (under flattering lighting),and a bang-average cock, were to message a woman looking for very well-endowed/athletic men, I'd expect to rejected out of hand, and fair enough. So I wouldn't even try. With the rôles reversed,it WOULD be well worth a woman trying her luck.
As I say, that's specifically on Fab. Out and about I'd say it's FAR more common to see stereotypically 'hot' women with less 'hot' men than vice versa. |
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
"
Not sure what the ‘elite’ is - but I think you look bloody amazing.
By being so bloody brazen (a total shameless hussy when it comes to messaging chaps I find interesting/attractive) I’ve met some absolutely gorgeous guys and literally given myself a high five when I get home . Even the ones that haven’t resulted in a meet have resulted in some great conversations - so nothing negative to report.
Not at any time have I had a ‘how dare you message someone as gorgeous as me’ type message - and if I did I’d just consult my thesaurus and wipe the proverbial floor with them.
If you just go for it you might just have an amazing meet/time. |
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"This is a lovely, affirming, positive thread - thank you. I think, without meaning to be all Grinchy, that it is perhaps truer of women meeting more athletic men than the other way round, and thus partly to do with demographics, as so much here is.
That's not a whinge! It makes perfect sense for women to be super-choosy and men to be less so on here, and frankly it's about time, given what is often the case beyond these hallowed halls. But if I, with what could most generously be described as a Dad bod (under flattering lighting),and a bang-average cock, were to message a woman looking for very well-endowed/athletic men, I'd expect to rejected out of hand, and fair enough. So I wouldn't even try. With the rôles reversed,it WOULD be well worth a woman trying her luck.
As I say, that's specifically on Fab. Out and about I'd say it's FAR more common to see stereotypically 'hot' women with less 'hot' men than vice versa."
Thanks for the positive remarks.
I personally can see nothing wrong with your body or willy. Although I’ve met some very athletic guys - I’ve had some absolutely bloody amazing meets with guys with ‘average’ bodies who are bloody wonderful both in and out of bed.
Whilst, like many, I have a range of body types I find attractive - it isn’t six pack focused and I think most people (even the women of fab) are the same.
I think very few have an absolute body type that they adhere to at all times. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was told once by a make that a stiff cock has no conscious and they’ll stick it any willing hole ? Not sure how true that is though "
I would say like vaginas it depends on the ower |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I was told once by a make that a stiff cock has no conscious and they’ll stick it any willing hole ? Not sure how true that is though
I would say like vaginas it depends on the ower"
Oh I agree with you I found his comment quite distasteful |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
I think another thing to keep in mind is that, just as you pointed out that the pics in your profile no longer equate to the person he will meet, that could also be very much the case for many of these ‘elite’ women you see when browsing his previous meet veris. |
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"I don't usually look at the photos of who they've met before I just assume that if they've agreed to meet they must think we're ok.
I think a lot of us assume that sexual attraction is fixed"
I know it isn’t - if all the people I’ve met for rudies on here were lined up then.
1) it’d be a bloody long line and refreshments might be necessary and
2) - It would be a huge range of ages, heights, facial appearance, skin colour and body types - and some would have boobies  |
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"I think another thing to keep in mind is that, just as you pointed out that the pics in your profile no longer equate to the person he will meet, that could also be very much the case for many of these ‘elite’ women you see when browsing his previous meet veris."
True - I always assume everyone else’s pics are an accurate depiction. |
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"
Thanks for the positive remarks.
I personally can see nothing wrong with your body or willy. Although I’ve met some very athletic guys - I’ve had some absolutely bloody amazing meets with guys with ‘average’ bodies who are bloody wonderful both in and out of bed.
Whilst, like many, I have a range of body types I find attractive - it isn’t six pack focused and I think most people (even the women of fab) are the same.
I think very few have an absolute body type that they adhere to at all times. X"
Oh, thank you - I genuinely wasn't 'fishing', but that is lovely! I'm completely confident and happy with my body, and of course you are right about body shape being little guide to bedroom skills, for men OR women.
I was thinking more about people who DO have a preferred body/genitals size or shape. I think men's standards are usually more flexible here than women's, and with good reason. But yes, if, like you, you don't mind occasional rejections and have the confidence to go for what you want, I can see that you'd have a wonderful time. And good for you! |
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"I would wonder if this is something of a one way street on here due to the gender imbalance. Female profiles for example are usually much more specific about physical preferences and men who don't match those are unlikely to even get a reply, so personality and personal chemistry have no chance.
Good luck with the meet OP "
My body type preference if a fairly broad spectrum. I think many people on here are the same. It’s more about the ‘person’ than people seem to think.
I’ve met a few guys (and had an amazing time with them) that I wouldn’t normally ‘fancy’ either because their profile shows a fun, intelligent personality or because they come across extremely well on the forums. |
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"I always look at veris to see what type they meet. If the majority of veris come from chiselled guys with massive cocks then I just move on"
If you’re the monkey (can’t tell from your profile pic) that I met years ago then you’ve definitely nothing to worry about. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Theres a definite imbalance between the genders.
I don’t always think its a confidence thing, in some instances it can be a save myself the time and aggravation thing.
My play partner has been approached by some of the “fab elite” who claim to enjoy curvier ladies, yet have no verifications or have ever mentioned liking curvier women.
It’s not a lack of confidence that keeps her from meeting them, more a case of she doesn’t want to be a fetish dispenser and scratch someones “BBW” itch.
However, good luck on your meet tonight OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
"
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think another thing to keep in mind is that, just as you pointed out that the pics in your profile no longer equate to the person he will meet, that could also be very much the case for many of these ‘elite’ women you see when browsing his previous meet veris."
Good point. Photoshop and close ups are an amazing thing.
I look like Les Dawson.  |
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"The fab single male spectrum when reading the forum.
Will only fuck insta models.
Will fuck anyone.
That seems to be it"
Well personally I’ve zero interest in ‘insta’ or any other social media - and I most certainly won’t fuck anyone. ‘Anyone’ asked last week if he could tongue punch my fart box - I turned him down flat!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It appears there is a niche for bbw among guys. I don't tend to find bi/gay men or women who tend to go for bigger guys. Although bi, I'm more attracted to ladies, and love all body types. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is another reason why I don't want to meet people with veris showing. I don't want to know who they met before.
I meet people in real life and we chat and see if there's an attraction.
I hate tick boxes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are definitely women on here that I would consider out of my league and would never message because I assume they wouldn't find me attractive and on top of that, they would probably never see my message due to the hundreds of other men messaging them too. Women do have it easier in that regard where they can message first and are pretty much guaranteed a reply, even if the man is not interested.
I do also look at their veris and see that they're from 6ft tall, ripped guys which sort of puts me off too.
I'd say don't overthink it and enjoy your meet. I hope it goes really well  |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"This is another reason why I don't want to meet people with veris showing. I don't want to know who they met before.
I meet people in real life and we chat and see if there's an attraction.
I hate tick boxes."
Agreed. The more threads on here I read about veris, the more I become convinced they do more harm than good. Like, it’s good to have the tick, sure, but beyond that just hide them and be done with it.
Also, like you said, meeting people out in the real world you wouldn’t stop them and ask for veris before considering talking with them! |
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"I don't usually look at the photos of who they've met before I just assume that if they've agreed to meet they must think we're ok.
I think a lot of us assume that sexual attraction is fixed"
This is a brilliant attitude to have!
I am pretty good at accepting this now with people we have met IRL (we do a lot of socials and club nights), but I have been known to work myself up over people possibly having unrealistic expectations when we have connected with them purely through Fab.
This is especially ridiculous as I personally am far more interested in nice eyes and a cute smile over a "gym fit bod" on a man or a woman!
I do admit that although I love flirting with other women, and probably fancy more women than men on here, I very rarely message them as I assume they will never see our message in their ridiculously busy inbox. Thank goodness for the forums where I can bat my lashes and hope for the best
K x |
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I don't have much stake in aesthetics for who I'm attracted to.
Being a towering 6ft curvy goth weirdo I already know most people I meet won't have many former partners that look like me. It doesn't bother me at all what the other people have looked like.
The one time it did bother me was when he kept bringing up how much he liked tiny petite women and going on about how surprising it was to him that he found me sexy at all. Sacked that one right off. |
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There are a lot of guys on fab that I’m attracted to but I just wouldn’t bother messaging as I feel they are out of my league but I’m really upfront in my profile about the way my body looks and this is why I also meet in clubs to avoid any awkwardness. ps have a fantastic meet tonight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is another reason why I don't want to meet people with veris showing. I don't want to know who they met before.
I meet people in real life and we chat and see if there's an attraction.
I hate tick boxes.
Agreed. The more threads on here I read about veris, the more I become convinced they do more harm than good. Like, it’s good to have the tick, sure, but beyond that just hide them and be done with it.
Also, like you said, meeting people out in the real world you wouldn’t stop them and ask for veris before considering talking with them!"
Exactly. Imagine asking to see their sexual review list while they sit and wait while you read it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have much stake in aesthetics for who I'm attracted to.
Being a towering 6ft curvy goth weirdo I already know most people I meet won't have many former partners that look like me. It doesn't bother me at all what the other people have looked like.
The one time it did bother me was when he kept bringing up how much he liked tiny petite women and going on about how surprising it was to him that he found me sexy at all. Sacked that one right off."
What a dick!  x |
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British ! "
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have much stake in aesthetics for who I'm attracted to.
Being a towering 6ft curvy goth weirdo I already know most people I meet won't have many former partners that look like me. It doesn't bother me at all what the other people have looked like.
The one time it did bother me was when he kept bringing up how much he liked tiny petite women and going on about how surprising it was to him that he found me sexy at all. Sacked that one right off.
What a dick! x"
I do tell all the women I'm with how much I like dicks and I find it surprising I'm fucking them right now...
For some reason they don't like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll always look at who they’ve met with and if they all look quite similar but nothing like my body type or how I look then I won’t message them. I have came across a few people who I like the look of but thought they were definitely out of my league. Partly why we almost never message first. I’d rather they approached us that way I’ll know they obviously like the look of us. |
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What a gorgeous post OP and I really hope you have fun tonight
The only thing I can ever worry about is am I just being myself. I cannot ever be anyone else, so why worry about types or comparing yourself to others. And attraction is a strange thing. It really is. So just be you. Always  |
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"I don't have much stake in aesthetics for who I'm attracted to.
Being a towering 6ft curvy goth weirdo I already know most people I meet won't have many former partners that look like me. It doesn't bother me at all what the other people have looked like.
The one time it did bother me was when he kept bringing up how much he liked tiny petite women and going on about how surprising it was to him that he found me sexy at all. Sacked that one right off."
Oh wow, what a charmer 
I'm curvy and not far off 6ft myself so I get that. I love it when a person is confident enough in there own skin to not make a big deal out of it, even when I am considerably taller than they are |
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"I’ll always look at who they’ve met with and if they all look quite similar but nothing like my body type or how I look then I won’t message them. I have came across a few people who I like the look of but thought they were definitely out of my league. Partly why we almost never message first. I’d rather they approached us that way I’ll know they obviously like the look of us. "
I'm pretty sure NO ONE would consider themselves above your league, in fact it's probably the other way around!
You should give it a shot and see what happens |
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By *XZRMan
over a year ago
Highland |
Thankfully most of the females profiles make it pretty clear what they want on here.
Usually starts with must be over 6ft because they like to wear heels annnd prefer a rugby type viking sooo by the time I see 'tall' or '6ft+' it's block and move on from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll always look at who they’ve met with and if they all look quite similar but nothing like my body type or how I look then I won’t message them. I have came across a few people who I like the look of but thought they were definitely out of my league. Partly why we almost never message first. I’d rather they approached us that way I’ll know they obviously like the look of us.
I'm pretty sure NO ONE would consider themselves above your league, in fact it's probably the other way around!
You should give it a shot and see what happens "
Thank you it’s probably a really silly way of thinking as peoples attraction can vary so much. Probably an insecurity thing but your right i sometimes think what’s the worst that can happen , but I still stop myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British !
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M "
Yes, yes I do want Ryan!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never really found I'm attracted to any one type? I really do find it's as simple as attraction to that individual as opposed to anything else category wise? |
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British !
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M
Yes, yes I do want Ryan!!"
Double date …. might know someone who can get rid of Blake ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British !
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M
Yes, yes I do want Ryan!!
Double date …. might know someone who can get rid of Blake ! "
I'm happy to take one for the fab team.  |
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People like what they like I guess. It's not fun for the person who doesn't 'méet the spec ' but I wouldn't expect someone to like me just because I fancy them.
Although.... If I had a pound for every woman that found me unattractive, those same women would now find me attractive....
Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have a preference for body type, I just find someone attractive or I don't.
Sexy comes in all body shapes and sizes I think"
very much subscribe to this, I don’t have a type and never have, mental stimulation and an appealing face does it for me |
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British !
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M
Yes, yes I do want Ryan!!
Double date …. might know someone who can get rid of Blake ! I'm happy to take one for the fab team. "
What a charitable guy you are
Some lovely pubs close to Wrexham football ground you could take her to ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always look at who they've met previously, when you see they've fucked the super hot elite of fab it definitely makes me think no way am I meeting him.
Can I have some of this not giving a shit or overthinking confidence please?
Oh, and have fun tonight!!
You just need perspective m'dear. I'm not sure who the fab elite is (same of different to the clique) but if it's a democracy you'd be voted in.
I will admit, I'm a very visual person. Not just shallow... But will spend holidays in art galleries and every problem is solved by drawing a picture.
But what I have found by being less of dick in my older years is attraction can build in unexpected places.
Ok, I probably do filter by looks somewhat still. Everyone filters imo However, I'm open to suprising myself and so if a profile or forum post makes me think she sounds cool, I will have a chat and see. The worst that can happen is a friendship.
Message. If it's not to be, it's not to be. Don't make decision on other people's behalf.
Imagine if Ryan didn't message JAE because all her meets sounded British !
Misread that
Was going to say, Ryan has never showed any interest in me. If the other JAE wants Ryan, I’ll take Rob M
Yes, yes I do want Ryan!!
Double date …. might know someone who can get rid of Blake ! I'm happy to take one for the fab team.
What a charitable guy you are
Some lovely pubs close to Wrexham football ground you could take her to ! "
wait, I don't get to watch the game ?
We may have to check who's playing. (Plus, in my mind Blake likes *soccer*). |
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"I’ll always look at who they’ve met with and if they all look quite similar but nothing like my body type or how I look then I won’t message them. I have came across a few people who I like the look of but thought they were definitely out of my league. Partly why we almost never message first. I’d rather they approached us that way I’ll know they obviously like the look of us.
I'm pretty sure NO ONE would consider themselves above your league, in fact it's probably the other way around!
You should give it a shot and see what happens
Thank you it’s probably a really silly way of thinking as peoples attraction can vary so much. Probably an insecurity thing but your right i sometimes think what’s the worst that can happen , but I still stop myself "
Be brave, give it a try, I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised!
Also, feel free to message me and let me know how it goes 
Good luck,
K x |
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