FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Don’t trust anyone
Don’t trust anyone
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing we share is our real names. We don’t give out our phone number or any of our social media. We don’t mind telling people what do we for work but wouldn’t share for which company etc. years ago when we first signed up we did invite a few people over but after a bad experience we’d rather meet at hotels or clubs now. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
My job is mot important enough or do I care what others think.
However when it comes to potential chats and meets I will withhold my address till I meet them at a club or social that goes for single females couples or groups.
I don't keep valuable items on me ie my phone ands bank cares or invite anyone to my home until I am 100% sure they are genuine.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I’m very trusting but can normally tell if people are dangerous before meeting or inviting them to
mine so it’s trust until proven wrong or my instinct says otherwise.
Never had any major issues with single females. A couple got verbally abusive when dumped but nothing that worried me. Couple of weird couples over the years, pushy controlling guys but met them at hotels first as wasn’t 100% sure.
Overall nothing that would cause me concern or change my behaviour. |
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I do with people that I’ve met or I build that trust with through private chats.
If people ask questions I’m generally happy to answer.
I know someone locally on here who is quite open about her situation and people take liberties (messaging her husband, stopping her when our with her kids etc) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?"
I'm not trusting of anyone I'd meet on here but that's the same for people off Fab too.
Some people can be utter untrustworthy knobs. My best mate of 20 years turned out to be one. 
Some people are decent. Some not so much. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"My job is mot important enough or do I care what others think.
However when it comes to potential chats and meets I will withhold my address till I meet them at a club or social that goes for single females couples or groups.
I don't keep valuable items on me ie my phone ands bank cares or invite anyone to my home until I am 100% sure they are genuine.
"
If guess there are a range of different risks to consider; theft, verbal abuse, coercement, stalking, physical abuse, revenge porn / reputation damage.
I think women & gay men are likely most at risk and should be very careful meeting strangers.
Only meet verified people who don’t avoid questions or normal methods of comms - unscheduled phone calls are great etc
Meet in public places.
If at a hotel use the safe for everything but your phone.
If worried don’t do it - or have an escape plan.
Trust your gut
Be safe  |
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"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?"
With my double trauma, I trust no-one completely.
My BPD side doesn't really care. The rest of my neurodivergent brain thinks...if I'm not harming, myself or others, physically or psychologically what exactly is the problem.
People do establish friendships from Fab and I have a separate phone.
Having been (being) crazy myself, I now know the signs that someone is probably a bit unstable. However, I judge by how they handle that instability. I know the work it takes to keep stable so when I see others trying, I let them have that.
I let people know about my crazy and it's up to them to decide if they are comfortable with my level of crazy.
That said I have a separate phone. My company has a very tight internet policy so I can't say the company name publically online but the company can't police who sees me and who talks to me in person. And any workplace harassment, I will be going straight to the police.
I'm entitled to my personal life off duty. |
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"My job is mot important enough or do I care what others think.
However when it comes to potential chats and meets I will withhold my address till I meet them at a club or social that goes for single females couples or groups.
I don't keep valuable items on me ie my phone ands bank cares or invite anyone to my home until I am 100% sure they are genuine.
If guess there are a range of different risks to consider; theft, verbal abuse, coercement, stalking, physical abuse, revenge porn / reputation damage.
I think women & gay men are likely most at risk and should be very careful meeting strangers.
Only meet verified people who don’t avoid questions or normal methods of comms - unscheduled phone calls are great etc
Meet in public places.
If at a hotel use the safe for everything but your phone.
If worried don’t do it - or have an escape plan.
Trust your gut
Be safe "
My neurodivergent brain hates phone calls. I'm always in meetings throughout the day so most 9-5 unscheduled calls go unanswered by me. Outside those hours I'm often in the Tube, grocery shopping or some other place that has no signal or space for me to talk. It's always interesting opening Fab near some teenagers in public to a giant dick pic.
Remember the MP caught looking at porn on his phone.....lol! |
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This aspect of my life is compartmentalized, and will continue to remain so.
I give folks a second phone number, i use a different Whatsapp for contact, and i give folks a different variant of a name. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it's quite sad not to be able to trust anybody but I do believe we should all exercise caution and understand not everybody tells the truth. I also don't think we should assume everybody is lying there are ways of finding out what you need to know and we all have our own ways of deciding what is true and not.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
So... I've got my face out.
But I'm a bit contradictory in that in a decade of being on here, a handful know my full name. Three people know my address. One being my fiancé. A few know about work. Social media profiles? Erm... well a couple know about the Twitter/sex blog side of stuff because that's how I've connected with them at first.
I've got a separate email account for anything related to this stuff. Mainly because I've got several email addresses and like keeping things nice and organised and simple to find.
I think I'm trusting of people up to a certain point and then it takes me a lot to open up further with someone. Which is fine really. I don't really care if people try to use it against me to be honest. Nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing I can get in "trouble" for. I'm just quite a cautious person. And contradictory.  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?
I'm not trusting of anyone I'd meet on here but that's the same for people off Fab too.
Some people can be utter untrustworthy knobs. My best mate of 20 years turned out to be one.
Some people are decent. Some not so much."
If it took you 20 years to figure that then I think you are probably right to trust no one.
People can change yes but they don’t normally change from being loyal & trustworthy to not, unless through addiction, the opposite is more likely people generally become better with time |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"My job is mot important enough or do I care what others think.
However when it comes to potential chats and meets I will withhold my address till I meet them at a club or social that goes for single females couples or groups.
I don't keep valuable items on me ie my phone ands bank cares or invite anyone to my home until I am 100% sure they are genuine.
If guess there are a range of different risks to consider; theft, verbal abuse, coercement, stalking, physical abuse, revenge porn / reputation damage.
I think women & gay men are likely most at risk and should be very careful meeting strangers.
Only meet verified people who don’t avoid questions or normal methods of comms - unscheduled phone calls are great etc
Meet in public places.
If at a hotel use the safe for everything but your phone.
If worried don’t do it - or have an escape plan.
Trust your gut
Be safe
My neurodivergent brain hates phone calls. I'm always in meetings throughout the day so most 9-5 unscheduled calls go unanswered by me. Outside those hours I'm often in the Tube, grocery shopping or some other place that has no signal or space for me to talk. It's always interesting opening Fab near some teenagers in public to a giant dick pic.
Remember the MP caught looking at porn on his phone.....lol!"
You’re clearly very special. An explanation like that is all it needs. But for most guys a quick call in an evening to say hi what are you doing isn’t an unreasonable ask of someone you’re thinking of having sex with
Love the structured profile, very easy to follow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Overall I'm quite secretive. There's only a handful of people who know my real name and have my phone number. I'd never have anyone to my home address no matter how long I've known them for. I give a little trust but not naive to give my whole world away to someone who could be fooling me about theirs. |
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Only thing I'll share is my phone number and real names, my phone number isn't linked to anything and the block button is easy.
We do tend to use telegram more these days.
I don't discuss where we live, occupation or anything with people, generally because it's boring and no one's business.
Mrs |
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I talk on fab only usually until I meet a person (social setting) and get a vibe on them. I've had people I've met multiple times & built a bit of trust up with them...they're more like friends at this stage so yea, they know my name/where I live/my job etc. But that was built up over time. I'm definitely not that forthcoming with randomers |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
We share pretty much fuck all with people we meet at clubs, even less with those we chat with on here.
Nobody needs to know. We're not looking for life long friends, just casual fun on rare occasions.
There are a few people we've got to know well over the years that we're proper friends with now, who know what we do for a living and what we get up to via vanilla social media. But I can probably count those on two hands.
People will naturally ask questions both online or face to face. But it's easy to be vague and also simple (and in no way rude) to decline an answer.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anyone I've got as far as having sex with knows most of that about me I think (name, job, phone no, where I live) but I know it about them too. I'm not too worried, I think I'm fairly savvy re who and when it's safe enough to share. Haven't been bitten yet at least... |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
I only trust people who have good verifications and even then I'm very wary about what I tell them and to be honest we are all here for the same thing so why would you tell them your personal stuff ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm quite trusting, I'd say. I tell them my real first name and will share my phone number and tell them what I do for work but rarely tell them where I work unless they say first (although they could always be lying!). In terms of social media, I'm only on LinkedIn and and don't have any other social media so I'm ok in that regard. I do only meet in clubs and hotels too but more out of necessity than safety |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't give out too much personal info on here .I go by Bo and only a handful know my real first even less know my surname. One person on here knows my address. I don't give out my phone number as I only have one phone and have no interest in having a second phone for fab.
I learnt very early on not to give out personal info as when I was first on here someone found out where I worked at the time and tried to use that against me to get me to meet him. He pieced together small bits of info I gave him to work out that.I also had a couple I met freely give out some of my personal info as well after I met them a couple of times .So after that I no longer give out personal info until I get to know people well.
I've also been in groups off here where I've seen others personal info and face photos shared with their knowledge.So to me all of this has been a big lesson to not give out any personal information until I know someone well.
I have always been a private person and I don't believe that others have any right to share people's info but it does happen on here.So I do what I can to keep my private life private. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?
I'm not trusting of anyone I'd meet on here but that's the same for people off Fab too.
Some people can be utter untrustworthy knobs. My best mate of 20 years turned out to be one.
Some people are decent. Some not so much.
If it took you 20 years to figure that then I think you are probably right to trust no one.
People can change yes but they don’t normally change from being loyal & trustworthy to not, unless through addiction, the opposite is more likely people generally become better with time"
I have no idea if she was a cunt the whole 20 years. I really don't fucking care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only trust people who have good verifications and even then I'm very wary about what I tell them and to be honest we are all here for the same thing so why would you tell them your personal stuff ? "
Why do people think we are all on here for the same thing?  |
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I used to like to trust people and maybe be a little too open with some personal details on here, until someone used what they knew about me to use a new profile and pretend to stalk me for their own amusement. After that I now trust no one. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I'm not trusting at all nowadays.
I give my real name to some I've chatted to for a good while or met but ,not where I live /work or any social media.
I tend to use here to chat or telegram rather than giving numbers out to people.In the past I was pestered by someone who I stupidly gave my mob number to (this was before you could block).
Some are not v discreet ,years ago when I Was single I had a bloke keep trying to find where I worked as he wanted to surprise me apparently.That wouldn't be a surprise I'd have wanted.
I do hate it when people ask where do work or where about s are you when we've never spoken too.
Most people wouldn't just turn up or stalk others online ,but the odd few will unfortunately. |
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The vast majority of those I've met over the years don't know my real name or any personal details.
A handful of people no longer on the site know my full name and phone number as we are still in touch as a group.
Currently, to the best of my knowledge, there are only 2 people who I have given my name and phone number and one of those I trust implicitly.
The other I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw them but unfortunately didn't realise that until details had been shared. I have been given unsolicited personal info on numerous other fabbers including facepics and workplace details so I have no doubts that my details have also been shared with those people as soon as I stopped engaging with and enabling her. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"The only thing we share is our real names. We don’t give out our phone number or any of our social media. We don’t mind telling people what do we for work but wouldn’t share for which company etc. years ago when we first signed up we did invite a few people over but after a bad experience we’d rather meet at hotels or clubs now. "
The things we wish we knew when we started. We have been lucky in that the first few meets we had over before we understood about the benefits of socials never went bad, but I consider that luck more than anything.
|
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"My job is mot important enough or do I care what others think.
However when it comes to potential chats and meets I will withhold my address till I meet them at a club or social that goes for single females couples or groups.
I don't keep valuable items on me ie my phone ands bank cares or invite anyone to my home until I am 100% sure they are genuine.
"
Not taking valuables with you to a first meet is a sensible approach. I do try and advise people to not make themselves targets of crime.
Not wearing jewellery, watches, flashing cash or phones etc. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I’m very trusting but can normally tell if people are dangerous before meeting or inviting them to
mine so it’s trust until proven wrong or my instinct says otherwise.
Never had any major issues with single females. A couple got verbally abusive when dumped but nothing that worried me. Couple of weird couples over the years, pushy controlling guys but met them at hotels first as wasn’t 100% sure.
Overall nothing that would cause me concern or change my behaviour. "
Trust until they give you a reason not to trust them is what we all tend to do, as we all want to see the good in people.
Being wary of others is healthy though. Its usually good to trust your gut, even if it means you miss out on someone that actually is a decent fit.
I’m lucky I guess in that I haven’t met many pushy people, but then being pushy myself I am likely “that guy”! |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I do with people that I’ve met or I build that trust with through private chats.
If people ask questions I’m generally happy to answer.
I know someone locally on here who is quite open about her situation and people take liberties (messaging her husband, stopping her when our with her kids etc)"
Messaging her husband about what she is up to?
I assume he knows?
Taking liberties with people, just because they may overshare is not okay. It smacks of entitled behaviour. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I'm not trusting of anyone I'd meet on here but that's the same for people off Fab too.
Some people can be utter untrustworthy knobs. My best mate of 20 years turned out to be one.
Some people are decent. Some not so much."
I’m the least trustworthy, trustworthy person I know.
I’m a massive dick, but also not a dick.
I am the nicest, not very nice person you can take home to meet your folks.
I was told that I don’t like myself, and I think I would agree with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bit daft when I first came on here years back and gave out information. I do give out my name though just first name, very few have my number, and I never give out my address anymore. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"If guess there are a range of different risks to consider; theft, verbal abuse, coercement, stalking, physical abuse, revenge porn / reputation damage.
I think women & gay men are likely most at risk and should be very careful meeting strangers.
Only meet verified people who don’t avoid questions or normal methods of comms - unscheduled phone calls are great etc
Meet in public places.
If at a hotel use the safe for everything but your phone.
If worried don’t do it - or have an escape plan.
Trust your gut
Be safe "
Another suggestion is the safety call.
For a fuck site, there are so many risks that people tend to ignore or just assume won’t happen to them.
I’ve known too many people on fab and other sites be outed to family, friends and their employers. And for what? Because they got rejected? Because they said no? Jealousy? A desire to drive them away or break up relationships?
One person I know had photos posted through her parents letter box. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
Only a small handful of people from Fab know who I am in "non fab life" and know personal details about me.
Same with my phone number.
The people that know this about me I've met numerous times usually at socials or the pub as a mates night out kinda thing!
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Good to be paranoid !!! really really really paranoid ! we find it amusing when people spread rumours about us and keeps them busy and they aren't bothering anyone else either ?? and we've had afew idiots/feckwombles but no more than in our everyday life perhaps less ?? as sites attract them like faecesbook does and made them really great friends over the years and made some enemies as peole tend to dislike honesty or being truthful and some like their ego's stroked but no we don't share everything of course and it's just like faecesbook that way ...  |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"With my double trauma, I trust no-one completely.
My BPD side doesn't really care. The rest of my neurodivergent brain thinks...if I'm not harming, myself or others, physically or psychologically what exactly is the problem.
People do establish friendships from Fab and I have a separate phone.
Having been (being) crazy myself, I now know the signs that someone is probably a bit unstable. However, I judge by how they handle that instability. I know the work it takes to keep stable so when I see others trying, I let them have that.
I let people know about my crazy and it's up to them to decide if they are comfortable with my level of crazy.
That said I have a separate phone. My company has a very tight internet policy so I can't say the company name publically online but the company can't police who sees me and who talks to me in person. And any workplace harassment, I will be going straight to the police.
I'm entitled to my personal life off duty."
I think we all have the capability, if not the capacity, to be a little crazy at times. As you say its how we deal with it that is important.
Using a separate phone is certainly a good way of maintaining a healthy separation between your life. At the very least it avoids those issues where people have facebook or other social media set up to find contacts in their phone. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I think it's quite sad not to be able to trust anybody but I do believe we should all exercise caution and understand not everybody tells the truth. I also don't think we should assume everybody is lying there are ways of finding out what you need to know and we all have our own ways of deciding what is true and not.
"
I agree its a sorry state of affairs that we live inna society where being truthful is almost seen as a vulnerability.
Everyone distorts the truth, from the size of chocolate bars through to politicians and those that are meant to display exemplary behaviour.
We use the excuse that we lie to protect others feelings, or to protect ourselves.
We call trusting people naive and scoff at their innocence instead of mourning the fact that we no longer tell the truth.
I try to see the good in people, and always say I wait to be surprised by their behaviour but rarely am! |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"So... I've got my face out.
But I'm a bit contradictory in that in a decade of being on here, a handful know my full name. Three people know my address. One being my fiancé. A few know about work. Social media profiles? Erm... well a couple know about the Twitter/sex blog side of stuff because that's how I've connected with them at first.
I've got a separate email account for anything related to this stuff. Mainly because I've got several email addresses and like keeping things nice and organised and simple to find.
I think I'm trusting of people up to a certain point and then it takes me a lot to open up further with someone. Which is fine really. I don't really care if people try to use it against me to be honest. Nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing I can get in "trouble" for. I'm just quite a cautious person. And contradictory. "
Cautious and contradictory isn’t a bad thing.
Is that more self preservation or more you lrefer to talk about others than yourself?
Some people just won’t open up not because they are private, they just assume others won’t be interested in them. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Overall I'm quite secretive. There's only a handful of people who know my real name and have my phone number. I'd never have anyone to my home address no matter how long I've known them for. I give a little trust but not naive to give my whole world away to someone who could be fooling me about theirs."
Are you secretive because you are afraid of what they could do to expose or hurt you, or just see no need go over share with people you may only see once or twice?
You mention that they could be fooling you, so do you tale what they say to you with a massive pinch of salt? |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Only thing I'll share is my phone number and real names, my phone number isn't linked to anything and the block button is easy.
We do tend to use telegram more these days.
I don't discuss where we live, occupation or anything with people, generally because it's boring and no one's business.
Mrs "
Are you using telegram more because others are, or to help protect your privacy? |
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We don’t share our phone numbers unless they become trusted.
We don’t meet at home unless we’ve met someone a few times previously.
We both work from home - we will say what industry we work in but not go into any detail (many cos they’ll be bored ).
Once friends we’ll share things.
K
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
We both have a lot of faith in our instincts and have always agreed with our thoughts on people. We use all the obvious means to gauge their consensual, respectful and communicative attributes and have never had a problem. If they pass all of the above we're free with our real names, phone numbers and address. We've never had a problem and if anyone tried to give us one, they would regret it. |
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By *etcpl OP Couple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"We share pretty much fuck all with people we meet at clubs, even less with those we chat with on here.
Nobody needs to know. We're not looking for life long friends, just casual fun on rare occasions.
There are a few people we've got to know well over the years that we're proper friends with now, who know what we do for a living and what we get up to via vanilla social media. But I can probably count those on two hands.
People will naturally ask questions both online or face to face. But it's easy to be vague and also simple (and in no way rude) to decline an answer.
A"
But do you do that intentionally to protect your privacy, or more a case of no need to over share with people we may not see or speak to again?
Some people are quite free with offering up personal details without ever really realising.
.
I had to point out to one person we were talking to that the photo they sent us contained a letter in the background that had their full name and postal address, while another had their name and date of birth. |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
I mostly meet at home, loads of guys have my address, doesn't worry me. You give your address 1000's of times in real life to strangers, other websites, buying online, booking holidays etc etc. Not sure what difference it makes?
Nobody knows my real name from here, a few people I've made friends with have my phone number and quite a few know the industry I work in but not where I work.
I couldn't careless what anyone does with the information they have on me, I've done nothing illegal and I'm not frightened of threats etc, not that I get any, anyway.
Most guys that come to me need to be discreet and they dissapear within two minutes of cumming. Can't see a problem. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Only two people from here knows my address and has been to my house. One is no longer on here but we still chat on messenger.
If I'm having sex with someone I tell them my real first name.
No one really bothers with second names much anyway.
|
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
30 years on the scene has taught me to trust no one .. trust is earn't
in the very beginning of swinging we found very quickly that those you seemed to trust the most will shit on you so me and hubs trust no one until trust is earn't and thats slow .... also we never give to many people a glimpse into our real lives ... but we have loads of friends on the scene but as swinging friends the door is never fully open to anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sadly, or sensibly, we are not that trusting.
We don’t use our real names on here. We don’t share surname even if we meet. We don’t meet at home - partly for privacy and partly because we don’t want the two sides of our life to be intertwined that much. We don’t tell people what we do for a living as this really does not sit well with what we do.
We don’t swap phone numbers unless we have had a considerable amount of to and fro on here first.
We have a very small number of people we have met through Fab who we consider our friends. When I say small I mean 2 singles, 2 couples. 1 knows every facet of our life. It takes time for us to trust though and I think it’s important not to be lulled into that false sense of security.
People on here are strangers unless prove themselves to be otherwise over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"With my double trauma, I trust no-one completely.
My BPD side doesn't really care. The rest of my neurodivergent brain thinks...if I'm not harming, myself or others, physically or psychologically what exactly is the problem.
People do establish friendships from Fab and I have a separate phone.
Having been (being) crazy myself, I now know the signs that someone is probably a bit unstable. However, I judge by how they handle that instability. I know the work it takes to keep stable so when I see others trying, I let them have that.
I let people know about my crazy and it's up to them to decide if they are comfortable with my level of crazy.
That said I have a separate phone. My company has a very tight internet policy so I can't say the company name publically online but the company can't police who sees me and who talks to me in person. And any workplace harassment, I will be going straight to the police.
I'm entitled to my personal life off duty.
I think we all have the capability, if not the capacity, to be a little crazy at times. As you say its how we deal with it that is important.
Using a separate phone is certainly a good way of maintaining a healthy separation between your life. At the very least it avoids those issues where people have facebook or other social media set up to find contacts in their phone."
To be fair I think most people don't realise that apps such as Facebook actively trawl through contacts etc to try and link people.
 |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
If I'm chatting I am happy to give my real first name. I will tell people my previous career and what I do for a living now, but not who I do it for. I'm quite guarded after that.
I was "scolded" recently as I said I would be reluctant to give out my phone number after a short social meet.
The person thought it was ridiculous that I trusted someone enough to have sex with them , but not enough to give them my phone number. I didn't agree and that was the end of that!
Gbat |
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"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?"
I’m ridiculously trusting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m fairly transparent . I don’t ever share my real name, until after we’ve met in person. Usually the person continues to call me by my online moniker .lol.
I have a preference to continue good conversations onto WhatsApp , but ladies understandably are cautious.
I’ve had meets without having a ladies WhatsApp , so it doesn’t mean that a person sharing their personal details are more or less likely to meet . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No one knows anything real of me from here. I use completely seperate name, e mail, my job, my personal life, where i live, where i am from. All of these details are not the real me. My photos are the only real thing about me on my profile. My private life is exactly that. Private. |
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We got our ourselves pests well she did
He would see her send pictures nothing to bad or try to arrange a meet so change numbers so everything stopped.
So No one comes to our home no numbers only contact is through fab only ever give first name and have found we have no problems now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I trust people. And I’ve not been far wrong as a judge. (Not tempting fate).
People I’ve met and shared numbers and private details too are few, but I would be massively suprised if anything negative came from giving that trust. -#theyknowwho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am very trusting I’d happily share my number, and name, social media’s etc after getting to know each other. I don’t use a burner phone. My friends all know, it wouldn’t really shock my family if they found out.
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I trust far too easily and have been burnt on more than one occasion… on here and off… even by those I consider true friends.
I’m trying to be more discerning with who I open up to but I’m finding it difficult as I’m a naturally open person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't trust very easily, in fact there is only 1 person in the whole world I 100% trust and that is my husband.
I don't give out personal details until I've known them a while. I've met quite a few people over the years who had no idea of my real name. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Number and name but we have built up a great connection. One of those gut instinct which we've both picked up on whilst chatting. Can happen at early stages and I'm grateful that we've had this trust between us x |
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"I do with people that I’ve met or I build that trust with through private chats.
If people ask questions I’m generally happy to answer.
I know someone locally on here who is quite open about her situation and people take liberties (messaging her husband, stopping her when our with her kids etc)
Messaging her husband about what she is up to?
I assume he knows?
Taking liberties with people, just because they may overshare is not okay. It smacks of entitled behaviour."
Yeah she has a solo profile and they have a couples profile on here. He’s fully aware and that’s the weird part.
Shows what you get from people when they don’t get their own way  |
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Rarely give out my phone number or real name, give a loose job title unless they’re in the same industry as me and only have had 3 Fabbers to my home, only one of which was a potential wildcard. I get told a huge amount about peoples personal lives on here however, I decided on a case by case basis how much to share back to them. There has only been one person who I have shared my whole self with, and he to me also on here-very special but again, a trust thing. |
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My first name is fine as it's harder to track people from just your first name.
As for my job I'll tell people my title but not the company I work for.
Other details ie home life etc I only takk about when I build a Foundation of trust.
But being on a site like this will bring in the risk as well.
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I'm a pretty good judge of character & trustworthiness. Once I'm at the point where I'll be meeting someone, I'll insist on exchanging phone numbers. I've very rarely had to block anyone.
I also regularly meet at my home and have never had an issue.
I'm not saying I trust everything they tell me - I would be foolish to - but I'll trust enough to chance my safety with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The people that do have my real name still called me Lorna anyway so it's kind of pointless.
Like me!
I can't help it. I call all my mates by their fab names "
You were one of the people I was thinking of but there are many more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once I get to know someone I am a trusting person. I have no problem giving my name and once I've know someone for a while I am happy to share my number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Do you know what I find a bit weird though? Whenever there's a thread about needing a connection, I always feel like the odd one out as everyone says yeah there has to be a really strong 'connection', whereas I'm good with not hating their company and fancying them. Yet on this thread I'm saying yeah I'm fine with sharing and getting to know each other and most are like 'fuck dat, I'm not telling them my name!' Fab's a fickle beast  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you know what I find a bit weird though? Whenever there's a thread about needing a connection, I always feel like the odd one out as everyone says yeah there has to be a really strong 'connection', whereas I'm good with not hating their company and fancying them. Yet on this thread I'm saying yeah I'm fine with sharing and getting to know each other and most are like 'fuck dat, I'm not telling them my name!' Fab's a fickle beast "
I like to have a connection but that doesn't mean they have to know my real name. To me a connection is a feeling, my name is just a simple fact. Feelings are what matters more to me, as in the feeling of chemistry, lust and horniness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We tell people names, whether they're real or not remains to be said. Use hubby's main phone for contact as he's anti social and can block any nuisance callers easily enough. Not had any trouble and don't expect any. |
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My pics etc are public and I've never had an issue until today.
Been a member off and on (mainly on) since 2008. 3 exes know I'm on here, 2 speak with me on here, both still comment on my decent rack. The other wouldn't bother.
Apart from that, in all that time I've had 2 guys from the next village see me on here, get blocked on here THEN tracked me down on the face thing
Today I wake up to a messenger text from a guy I know ish (did some work for mum in the summer). Wanting to meet as he'd broken up with his partner - then got real nasty when I said no.
I'll be honest, it's rattled me a little |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not very trusting when it comes to personal info. I've only ever shared my name and address etc with one person, but I trust him completely to never let it go any further than between the two of us. With others, I've not reached that stage. It's not that I don't trust them, it's more just something I only do when I get very close with someone to the point of meeting.
I've got a few people on my friendlist, and I have face pictures in there, and I completely trust them not to share them elsewhere.
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try to keep face pics to those we know a bit, will share when we've chatted a bit, or going to meet... otherwize our photos are headless
never use my real name off of here so on here is no different. |
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My early days of fab, someone who turned out to be a dweeb from school, posted my fab profile on my business profile on Facebook, and even contacted my mother.
They identified me via my tongue piercing which is pretty unusual, this has made me more cautious.
I don't talk plan to meet people without a phone number, when people want to talk via Kik, or anything else with zero effort to make accounts I don't go there.
A phone number is a low bar to entry but is a good filter.
Random people on here, unless it's photography based, a phone number is a pretty much all I share. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My pics etc are public and I've never had an issue until today.
Been a member off and on (mainly on) since 2008. 3 exes know I'm on here, 2 speak with me on here, both still comment on my decent rack. The other wouldn't bother.
Apart from that, in all that time I've had 2 guys from the next village see me on here, get blocked on here THEN tracked me down on the face thing
Today I wake up to a messenger text from a guy I know ish (did some work for mum in the summer). Wanting to meet as he'd broken up with his partner - then got real nasty when I said no.
I'll be honest, it's rattled me a little "
That's bad news. Once people know any of your real details its scarily easy to join the dots and find out more. |
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"Fresh off the married thread, how trusting are you of people you meet on here?
Do you share real names, home addresses, social media profiles, phone numbers, email addresses, where you work, what you do etc.? If so how soon after talking?
Are you ever afraid that someone could use that information against you?
If so how do you protect yourself? Meet at clubs/hotels only, use a burner phone/email address, use fake names, never divulge more than you need to?
.
I admit to being a bit daft when we started and having people over to the house without meeting for a social first, sharing phone numbers to chat (not using telegram like we do now)
There are a few people who know what I do for a living, as well as where I work, but not many.
I’m fairly open about my life to some of my friends, and my family (those that are alive) likely wouldn’t care.
My job… it may get interesting… but no more so than anyone else's. I don’t work in a reportable profession. We have no kids to worry about gossip at the school gates.
.
So how trusting are you, or how do you protect yourself?"
That’s a really good question and one that Has many different answer. One half of me wants to say from a philosophical point the people you should trust least are the people you trust the most, they tend to do you more harm and lasting hurt where on here people are strangers so know very little on how they could cause you issues or have the interest too. However the reality is there are scammers, stalkers etc and so my approach with sharing info is on a quid pro quo basis. I have been asked for a picture of me in my first message if they’ve not got one on their profile. I won’t give out any personal contact details on request unless provided first. You have to build trust, which people forget on here. Mutual interest and willingness to invite each other into each other’s lives to what ever degree your both happy with. However most demand all these things without first doing that and so in those instances, go with your gut and end contact with them |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We share first names, rough location and area of work. We don’t share face pics as we had them ‘borrowed’ by someone who then sent to others. Only found out when someone told us in person they recognised us even though we’d never exchanged pics with them on Fab.
We now check what a potential meet wants, give the details above so we don’t meet neighbours or work mates and then just meet for a blind date. People can hide behind a keyboard so we like to have face to face chats. Sometimes it’s just easier. |
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By *wesomeLolaCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough and Buckinghamshire |
Maybe we're a bit too trusting. We tend to tell a fair bit about ourselves and usually reveal real names and face pics after a couple of messages. In clubs it's real names from the start. We've had a few fabbers to our homes and visited some at their own homes. We do like to get to know people if we like them.
We've never had a problem with privacy though. It amazes me how many people put face pics in their public pics. I have recognised someone on Fab who I know IRL, and wouldn't want that to happen to us. |
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