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Dangers of Alexa - So embarrassed.

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood

I woke up this morning feeling in quite an aroused state. It's a lovely feeling reaching down and wrapping my hand round my big warm, thick, hard cock...

Ahem, anyway, I thought I would slip on some jogging bottoms and fleece and go downstairs to check out Fab. It was very dark this morning, so I drew the curtains hoping that in the half light I would see my clothes, which I did.

I glanced down proudly at my huge erection that was protruding from my boxer shorts. I then very smugly said "Alexa turn on my kettle". My kettle is bluetooth, and there is nothing nicer than having the water boiled for you by the time you get down stairs.

HOWEVER, The words that actually came out of my confused, morning numbed brain were "Alexa turn the light on". Alexa said “OK” On turned my bedroom light! In a panic I looked out the window to see if anyone saw, only to see the woman over the road drawing her curtains, in her dressing gown staring straight at me.

My window ledges are low, my cock was very large...

OMG what a start to the day.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You stick with that story in court son

I'm off to buy a Bluetooth kettle

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By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Did you wave at her and hive her a knowing look?

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"I woke up this morning feeling in quite an aroused state. It's a lovely feeling reaching down and wrapping my hand round my big warm, thick, hard cock...

Ahem, anyway, I thought I would slip on some jogging bottoms and fleece and go downstairs to check out Fab. It was very dark this morning, so I drew the curtains hoping that in the half light I would see my clothes, which I did.

I glanced down proudly at my huge erection that was protruding from my boxer shorts. I then very smugly said "Alexa turn on my kettle". My kettle is bluetooth, and there is nothing nicer than having the water boiled for you by the time you get down stairs.

HOWEVER, The words that actually came out of my confused, morning numbed brain were "Alexa turn the light on". Alexa said “OK” On turned my bedroom light! In a panic I looked out the window to see if anyone saw, only to see the woman over the road drawing her curtains, in her dressing gown staring straight at me.

My window ledges are low, my cock was very large...

OMG what a start to the day.

"

technology eh whatever happened to switching the light on or turning the kettle on lol

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today "

Haha well lets hope so, it was like getting caught out in a photo booth.. haha.

Beautiful profile Red, shame you don't live opposite me x

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By *iss.ddWoman  over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

"

bit of both I guess

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

"

I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha"

It sounds like everyone’s seen it

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By *weetiepie99Woman  over a year ago

cardiff

If i had a 'big warm thick hard' cock i'd be proud too!! Go get 'em

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By *dam_TinaCouple  over a year ago

Hampshire


"If i had a 'big warm thick hard' cock i'd be proud too!! Go get 'em"

And an Alexa. #winningatlife

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have regular 'misunderstandings' with Alex. I feel your pain

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have regular 'misunderstandings' with Alex. I feel your pain "

And with his sister Alexa! Lol

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By *hogun300Man  over a year ago

Dundee

Should be in the stories section

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"Should be in the stories section "

It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point.

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere

This is similar to my experience but i got the Alexa upgrade so i said turn the light on and Alexa said ‘ put your dick away soft lad no one needs that shrivelled sad looking chiplolata first thing in the morning!!’ - i think my ex may have been messing with it!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should be in the stories section

It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. "

Anecdotes are stor... nevermind

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"Should be in the stories section

It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point.

Anecdotes are stor... nevermind "

A SHORT story to be precise. Was just trying to make people smile on a cold morning. Thats all..

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"This is similar to my experience but i got the Alexa upgrade so i said turn the light on and Alexa said ‘ put your dick away soft lad no one needs that shrivelled sad looking chiplolata first thing in the morning!!’ - i think my ex may have been messing with it!! "

This is brilliant, !!

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha"

You get an A+ for this boy.

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By *hogun300Man  over a year ago

Dundee


"Should be in the stories section

It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. "

Oh well in that case, well done you! Who's a clever boy? Brightens up the whole day.

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By *hogun300Man  over a year ago

Dundee


"Should be in the stories section

It wasn't a story, it was an anecdote to make people smile. Sorry you missed the point. "

Oh and thankyou for clearing up for me what the point was. I really did wonder.

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By *otfitbmthcoupleMan  over a year ago

Blandford


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

I was always told by my English teacher to use good descriptive words. How would you describe it? Please don't be offensive though hahaha

You get an A+ for this boy. "

Haha, i concur!!

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By *uitednbooted2Man  over a year ago

Berkshire

A ripping yarn !!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh no!! I’m sure she was happy to see you!

At least you didn’t decide to watch fab videos, with the windows open! Done that before!

Bloody Bluetooth!

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By *ay9971Man  over a year ago

Manchester

Close the curtains for goodness sake lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm so confused.. Why did you need to see your clothes?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I call bullshit!

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

As the kettle boiled you heard a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass panel you could see the outline of an attractive woman in a dressing gown which slipped open and you could see she was wearing nothing underneath. You reached for the knob.....

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"As the kettle boiled you heard a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass panel you could see the outline of an attractive woman in a dressing gown which slipped open and you could see she was wearing nothing underneath. You reached for the knob....."

Alexa, play pony

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As the kettle boiled you heard a knock at the door. Through the frosted glass panel you could see the outline of an attractive woman in a dressing gown which slipped open and you could see she was wearing nothing underneath. You reached for the knob....."

His warm one or the cold one on the door?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Interesting....i read an almost identical story on F***book earlier this year!!!

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By *iss pleasuringWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere near

Well it made me laugh And I've just woken up after a hard long night shift.

I'm usually a grumpy bitch at this time I might add

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well it made me laugh And I've just woken up after a hard long night shift.

I'm usually a grumpy bitch at this time I might add"

I finished nights this morning...no going to bed for me until tonight

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Come on. Own up. Who looked at the ops profile to see if he was telling porkies about his size…….

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Come on. Own up. Who looked at the ops profile to see if he was telling porkies about his size……."

I looked to see how warm it looked.

Turns out you can't tell

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Should this of been posted in the story section?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should this of been posted in the story section? "

Bad bitches don't follow rulezzz

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By *hogun300Man  over a year ago

Dundee


"Should this of been posted in the story section? "

That's what I said lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should this of been posted in the story section?

That's what I said lol"

Read like some poorly written erotica lol

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By *rtyIanMan  over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons


"Should this of been posted in the story section?

That's what I said lol

Read like some poorly written erotica lol"

I can't remember if he mentioned his huge cock

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should this of been posted in the story section?

That's what I said lol

Read like some poorly written erotica lol"

You....don't like warm penis?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't believe no one else has mentioned my favourite part

'i glanced down, proud at my huge erection'

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere


"Should this of been posted in the story section?

That's what I said lol

Read like some poorly written erotica lol"

You mean something like this…..?

… as the door Opened i stepped

Inside naked and shaking with anticipation..and trod on my absolutely enormous cock causing me to trip and as i landed i found myself cock first deep inside a nude model who was sitting for a portrait and was overcome with yet more emotion… whether it was the hairnet and curlers or the lit cigarette burning against my lip from hers that spurred me to act so foolishly….

And that m’lud rests the defences case

I should probably copyright this stuff eh??

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

We need some perspective in regards window cill height in relation to crotch.

Maybe a pic of said window with the OP standing next to it?

Then maybe the OP could speak with the woman across the road and ask her to take a picture him standing proud at the offending window with the light on.

Btw what's the difference between light and hard??

You can go to sleep with a light on badoomching

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You stick with that story in court son

I'm off to buy a Bluetooth kettle"

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By *hogun300Man  over a year ago

Dundee


"Should this of been posted in the story section?

That's what I said lol

Read like some poorly written erotica lol"

But at least made us smile

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood

Oh sorry, not all of this "story" is true... the kettle is Wi-Fi

hahaha

Lighten up guys, it happened, get over it. So what's your most embarrassing story?

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By *oiluvfunMan  over a year ago

Penrith


"I woke up this morning feeling in quite an aroused state. It's a lovely feeling reaching down and wrapping my hand round my big warm, thick, hard cock...

Ahem, anyway, I thought I would slip on some jogging bottoms and fleece and go downstairs to check out Fab. It was very dark this morning, so I drew the curtains hoping that in the half light I would see my clothes, which I did.

I glanced down proudly at my huge erection that was protruding from my boxer shorts. I then very smugly said "Alexa turn on my kettle". My kettle is bluetooth, and there is nothing nicer than having the water boiled for you by the time you get down stairs.

HOWEVER, The words that actually came out of my confused, morning numbed brain were "Alexa turn the light on". Alexa said “OK” On turned my bedroom light! In a panic I looked out the window to see if anyone saw, only to see the woman over the road drawing her curtains, in her dressing gown staring straight at me.

My window ledges are low, my cock was very large...

OMG what a start to the day.

"

Outstanding!

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By *inger_SnapWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Is that the same neighbour who was washing the car last time? Poor woman...

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By *oiluvfunMan  over a year ago

Penrith


"Is that the same neighbour who was washing the car last time? Poor woman..."

Busted! The ‘he/she’ neighbour?

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By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

Chesterfield

And so you did your helicopter impression?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've only just realised draw the curtains effectively means "change the position from where they are now".

Does Alexa only change the bedroom light ? Or does every light go on ?

Also, if you have a big cock, it doesn't matter how high the window sill is !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

"

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today "

Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving!

You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"I've only just realised draw the curtains effectively means "change the position from where they are now".

Does Alexa only change the bedroom light ? Or does every light go on ?

Also, if you have a big cock, it doesn't matter how high the window sill is !"

Alexa is VERY clever...

So, turn on the light, is different to turn on my light, is different to turn on the stair light, turn on the LED light.. Turn on the heater, turn on the kettle, Blah blah blah. All set up as routines too, so they come on and off at different times of day for if i'm working or not..

It does get confusing though.

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today

Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving!

You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though "

No they were drawn, it was just getting light, so I opened them to let in the little bit of light there was. I could see out, no one could see in... Until I turned on the light by accident.

Does no one else do this shit... I've written about it before on here. Last time I was downstairs and thought no one could see through the net curtains (I must ditch them). I've also done this kind of thing getting changed in my van with blacked out windows.... Only to realise the tint wasn't enough to hide my blushes.

I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well if you happen to be parked in Christchurch with your not so dimmed window and changing do please let bad bitch know where as she would love to be utterly shocked at the sight!! PS if you were changing out of a fireman's uniform all the better

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've only just realised draw the curtains effectively means "change the position from where they are now".

Does Alexa only change the bedroom light ? Or does every light go on ?

Also, if you have a big cock, it doesn't matter how high the window sill is !

Alexa is VERY clever...

So, turn on the light, is different to turn on my light, is different to turn on the stair light, turn on the LED light.. Turn on the heater, turn on the kettle, Blah blah blah. All set up as routines too, so they come on and off at different times of day for if i'm working or not..

It does get confusing though. "

so you have to remember to say "the light" in the bedroom and "my light" in the living room. Feels like you've over complicated it tbh. Reprogram to say "the bedroom lights". Maybe be less likely to misspeak.

I do get you tho.

The other day I meant to say "can you pass the salt dear" instead I said "you've ruined my life you money grabbing bitch" (jk of course)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail."

And they will all chuckle with mirth

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail.

And they will all chuckle with mirth"

I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail.

And they will all chuckle with mirth

I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough..."

You don't have to be big to be mighty!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail.

And they will all chuckle with mirth

I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough...

You don't have to be big to be mighty! "

OUCH!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Save that totally hilarious story and tell it to the Grandkids one day.

As long as he doesn't miss out the staring proudly at his erection part. It's a key detail.

And they will all chuckle with mirth

I just feel sorry for my penis, he probably thinks he's doing a bad job on account of me not looking down proudly at him enough...

You don't have to be big to be mighty!

OUCH! "

Ooh I was trying to be nice

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. "

Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ?

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"

I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily.

Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ?"

omg what an assumption

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"

I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily.

Were you in an empty gym changing room, taking pics in the mirror of your massive, rock hard penis when the cleaner walked in ?"

I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years

Let me think if I can change it, so it's not so close to the truth. lol

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years

"

Did the wanking dead put the willies up you ?

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"

I honestly can't tell you, it actually haunted me for years

Did the wanking dead put the willies up you ?"

I'll put the bloody willies up you in a minute!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm still on this bit 'my big warm, thick, hard cock...... '

Might be here some time......

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By *iss KinkWoman  over a year ago

North West


"Should be in the stories section "

Was just going to say that lol

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"Should be in the stories section

Was just going to say that lol"

Oh dear god..

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By *hitehunter4bbcMan  over a year ago

Bristol

I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too"

If you do that you need a bluetooth tap

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too

If you do that you need a bluetooth tap "

No, the kettle is actually Wi-Fi, the coffee and sugar bluetooth. Tea bags are so VHS, don't even get me started on the Earl Grey!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx

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By *hitehunter4bbcMan  over a year ago

Bristol


"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx "

Tell us more

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx "

*Accidentally*

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx

*Accidentally* "

Husband left the hotel room early opened the curtains. I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


" I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off "

Did he swing into the rough ?

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So is this about Alexa or just telling us all multiple times you have a big dick?

bit of both I guess "

5" or 8" ?

A

*the Alexa....obviously

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"I accidentally flashed at a golfer yesterday so I feel your pain xx

*Accidentally*

Husband left the hotel room early opened the curtains. I got up naked (obviously) went to close the curtains and locked eyes with an unsuspecting golfer just about to tee off "

Oh my, what a treat. I bet he soon grabbed his (golf) balls and had a great time working on his (golf) stroke!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I'm still on this bit 'my big warm, thick, hard cock...... '

Might be here some time...... "

Are you doing mental gymnastics, Granny?

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By *usie pTV/TS  over a year ago

taunton

I doubt its the first time she has observed morning wood.

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"I doubt its the first time she has observed morning wood. "

Brilliant!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I might get a Bluetooth kettle and Bluetooth teabags too

If you do that you need a bluetooth tap

No, the kettle is actually Wi-Fi, the coffee and sugar bluetooth. Tea bags are so VHS, don't even get me started on the Earl Grey!"

Is the Earl Grey wind up or steam valve ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Once the local vicar was round collecting for undernourished hedgehogs and I wanted to ask Alexa to play Psalm 69 so we could share a moment of spiritual contemplation but I actually said 'Play 69 Porn' and got an audio of two enthusiastic amateurs from Port Talbot engaged in mutual oral pleasure. Luckily the vicar is hard of hearing so I quickly gave him twenty quid and ushered him out before he realised my embarrassing error.

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By *hischarmingdevil OP   Man  over a year ago

Ringwood


"Once the local vicar was round collecting for undernourished hedgehogs and I wanted to ask Alexa to play Psalm 69 so we could share a moment of spiritual contemplation but I actually said 'Play 69 Porn' and got an audio of two enthusiastic amateurs from Port Talbot engaged in mutual oral pleasure. Luckily the vicar is hard of hearing so I quickly gave him twenty quid and ushered him out before he realised my embarrassing error. "

Thats fantastic love it...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bit of faux shock, but I suspect you may have made her day, today

Also going to say that you really don't know if she was embarrassed because you caught her perving!

You probably wouldn't blame her - perhaps draw your curtains though

No they were drawn, it was just getting light, so I opened them to let in the little bit of light there was. I could see out, no one could see in... Until I turned on the light by accident.

Does no one else do this shit... I've written about it before on here. Last time I was downstairs and thought no one could see through the net curtains (I must ditch them). I've also done this kind of thing getting changed in my van with blacked out windows.... Only to realise the tint wasn't enough to hide my blushes.

I can't even tell you what the worst embarrassing moment of my life was. I was only 18.. so many years ago now luckily. "

You spend quite some time without wearing clothes and showing your huge erect cock off!

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