FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Barriers on Accommodating?
Barriers on Accommodating?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never would.
Ever.
This is my home, having had a few weird encounters in the past just no way!
Unless, it was a long long long term thing and I trusted them 100%. Then maybe the at the BnB down the road  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
Privacy . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im amenable to accommodating, and have done, but I wouldn't do for a variety of reasons from not wanting to tidy up (Yeah, sometimes I can leave the place messy, I'd rather miss out than let anyone see that), to having people in the house already etc. Endless reasons why I can, but might choose not to. |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes "
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I have young (ish) kids and unfortunately I have learnt my lesson the hard way.
The one and only time I did accommodate at mine (when I was on another site and my kids were away with their dad) I had a very difficult time in getting someone to leave my house. He then proceeded to harass me thereafter and became such an unpleasant nuisance that I had to threaten him with the Police.
So, never again. |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky"
Some people prefer to meet on neutral ground, that’s fine, it’s no big deal, no body wants Dave/Diane the stalker outside their house causing problems   |
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For me I didnt want to introduce casual people into my childrens lives.
A fwb person wouldnt be ok either compared to a long term one.
What I did find out was the ladies was fine in the men taking on there children from other relationships.
But its not the same when its the other way around.
They liked the reference that I cared for 2 children, Many was surprised when they asked.
That I was caring and bringing up a step child.
As I refered to them as my natural child that id taken care of since they was one year old.
On top of that anyone that came near me, Would have to put up with dirty accusations, violence from my ex and her partners.
Something I wouldnt want anyone to deal with as it wasnt nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have older children so it’s a no no
We do have someone who does call when they are away but this is someone we have known for years and trust a lot.
Mr x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it were my home, I wouldn’t have much of a problem 90% of the time because most of the time if I’m ready to meet someone, I already trust them.
But I’m
House sharing, and the others in the house don’t just want “randoms’** turning up. And sure, I’m not for trying to twist anyones arm when it’s easier to just meet someone elsewhere.
** this is an exact quote. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky"
It's a diff thing
People may accom when they know someone well and trust them
I've seen lots of threads where people have turned up to people's homes unannounced expecting a shag . |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky"
It's a lot easier to move your body away from a stranger than it is to move your house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky
It's a lot easier to move your body away from a stranger than it is to move your house."
Exactly it’s a safety aspect. Imagine that person you invite around ‘turns’ and now they know where you live  |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky"
They aren’t even remotely the same thing. It isn’t a hard concept to understand boundaries. |
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I've had a couple of women insist that they would only meet in their home and nowhere else because their time was limited and they had no interest in meeting socially.
I refused because I insist on at least one social meet and also because I've no interest in meeting any woman who is comfortable inviting me as a complete stranger into her home without any thought for personal safety. |
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We have mostly hosted at home. But, have always been as careful as possible.
I 100% understand and wouldn’t question why people prefer not to. If either of us were on here as a single, we wouldn’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loads of reasons. For example, I might be decorating, or feeling protective of my pet and my lovely safe sanctuary. Sometimes it just feels too intimate. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Kind of cautious of it after ending up with an over enthusiastic fabber in our early days who thought we were best of friends after meeting once and wanted to go shopping etc. Since then we have occasionally blindfolded guys bundled them in the back of the car and then removed the blindfold once inside And had friends who said a couple called on them without notice after accommodating them once and they were having a family Sunday lunch and the kids wanted to know who they were. Another who said their kids found a used condom down the sofa the following day.
So kind of guess people don’t want any fall out from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
So many good reasons..
Dear OP,what's your pro's & cons? |
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"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
You know if your will to pay you could accommodate in a hotel |
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"Same as me OP my child lives with me permanently so it’s our safe space"
This is exactly what I say, it’s my child’s safe space!
Only 2 long term fab friends (over my 7 years on site) have been here, my son met both of them multiple times before they came here and I don’t see that ever changing x
Pixie |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I can accommodate if I wanted to but I choose not to unless I know someone well and trust them.My Fwb is the only person I trust to bring to my home.
My home is my safe place I've no interest in using it for fab meets and I also would not go to anyone else's house unless I knew them well also. |
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Two barriers. First I'm a lone parent with two young children in the house. Second my home space is very personal to me and My Girl. So for us it'd wouldn't feel right to entertain in our respective homes unless we were both there entertaining together (and even then only with sexy freinds we've known prior). That's why for me natural ground like a club is King (but I think neutral ground works well for many others too). |
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By *ynda1978Woman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Liverpool |
I live with my mum so the lack of privacy but the respect for my mum. Also its my home and encountered a situation where I didn't feel safe and don't want to ever feel like that again.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all. This has been really interesting to read. I genuinely wasn't judging at all. Like I said I choose not to accommodate personally too and I'm more than happy to pay for a hotel if I meet someone I want to play with I just wondered about other people's restrictions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Too many nutters.. I've already had one stalker, I'll never make the same mistake twice "
Yeah you don’t want a pecan Tom looking through your windows! |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
I think in the 6 years I've lived here, non of my friends gave been inside my flat, most only roughly know where I live. My home is my sanctuary.
So not much chance of a meet being an exception |
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Small child at home
Adult "child" and his girlfriend at home
Wanting to get out of the usual environment for something a bit more fun/different, even if we didn't have the above
Wanting to keep our location private |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to accomodate at my house,but after one lass started turning up uninvited and unannounced,a different lass was almost impossible to get rid of,and a couple decided to have a domestic in my back yard I stopped inviting strangers anywhere near my house.
Despite this,a large number of people on here decide that me not accomodating automatically means that I have a wife or gf,and won't be told any different  |
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"For a lot of the "single" men on here it's because their wifes/partners wouldn't be too happy."
•
A similar supposition would be a "...a lot of the 'single' women on here it's because their husbands/partners wouldn't be too happy.". |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
I have a rehomed rottweiler, who has been a sweetheart, but only with us for 9 weeks... I'm not putting someone in a position where she might be uncomfortable and bite... that would also lead to her big sister also protecting her.. and me.
Blood is a bugger to get out yer carpets.
And why would I stress my tiny dogs? |
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Before I could accommodate I thought being able to would be the golden ticket to getting more meets ..not the case though..I think people assume my house is like that place in the Texas chainsaw massacre....ok maybe it is slightly...but I don't own a chainsaw..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kind of have no problem having a couple in my house. But i do have an issue if i think the "hubby" is very "dom".
The reason i say that is that in the past i had a couple visit me and all was good until we got to the bedroom. "hubby" then became very dom, and to be honest i felt like a whimp in my own house and own bedroom.
One thing is for sure, that will never happen again in my house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to accomodate at my house,but after one lass started turning up uninvited and unannounced,a different lass was almost impossible to get rid of,and a couple decided to have a domestic in my back yard I stopped inviting strangers anywhere near my house.
Despite this,a large number of people on here decide that me not accomodating automatically means that I have a wife or gf,and won't be told any different "
Wowzers. You’ve had some luck!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Medium sized human whom gives me no privacy, and who's sperm doner doesn't bother so no time.
Also when you ignore some men on here, they keep messaging like multiple times a day. I just imagine that everyone has the potential to be like that in real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to accomodate at my house,but after one lass started turning up uninvited and unannounced,a different lass was almost impossible to get rid of,and a couple decided to have a domestic in my back yard I stopped inviting strangers anywhere near my house.
Despite this,a large number of people on here decide that me not accomodating automatically means that I have a wife or gf,and won't be told any different
Wowzers. You’ve had some luck! "
Fortunately I'm older and wiser now  |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"I used to accomodate at my house,but after one lass started turning up uninvited and unannounced,a different lass was almost impossible to get rid of,and a couple decided to have a domestic in my back yard I stopped inviting strangers anywhere near my house.
Despite this,a large number of people on here decide that me not accomodating automatically means that I have a wife or gf,and won't be told any different
Wowzers. You’ve had some luck! "
After reading that I don't think I'll ever accomodate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Medium sized human whom gives me no privacy, and who's sperm doner doesn't bother so no time.
Also when you ignore some men on here, they keep messaging like multiple times a day. I just imagine that everyone has the potential to be like that in real life. "
Amen  |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky"
We can remove our bodies (and consent) at any given time. Our domiciles are fixed and therefore harder to remove from those who now know where we live. Save for protection from harassment and restraining orders. |
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"Grown up daughter living at home for me major lack of privacy
Ours is a grown up son, who has just purchased a ring doorbell (and has the app fot it )
"
Ha ha same! Plus blink cameras through the house there are ways round those x |
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Sometimes I can accommodate, I have a son who splits his time between his mums and mine, and a daughter at uni who lives at mine between uni time, uni isn't far so it's not unbeknown for her to turn up unexpected.
I am probably more careful about women I meet in the pub due to past experiences, the good thing about fab meets, especially with cples is after the naughtyness is over, they usually just F'off, if you Kopp for a girl in a pub and take her home, then ask her to phone a taxi once your balls are drained, they can get a bit arsey over such requests |
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"I’d say the main reason is that people don’t like strangers from the internet in their homes
I'm so sorry but they don't want a stranger in their home but inside their body is fine !!
I'm not being picky
We can remove our bodies (and consent) at any given time. Our domiciles are fixed and therefore harder to remove from those who now know where we live. Save for protection from harassment and restraining orders. "
Absolutely |
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Firstly I don't want people knowing where I live until I'm sure of them. Secondly because my partner is often at home scratching his balls on the sofa and even if he's not, I can't be bothered washing extra bed sheets  |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
This is interesting. Reason that where I worked for last twenty years . Yes all males on shifts . So a mixture of single, divorced , separated etc. Now some had own places or shared places. They had met females in clubs etc and gone back to their places . So perhaps more risk than arranging meets etc on here ?
More risk on here as could be first time seeing ?
Even though males at company yes saw in person, but as drink involved did not see risk ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Main reason, my lad.
Even before their arrival I wouldn’t accommodate. My friends of 20-40 years only found out my address in 2020 and that was limited to a select few, they only knew a rough location prior to that. My home has always been my quiet, personal space. So eck no is a stranger going to know where I live. Life is private and I choose who I share it with, how much & when. |
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Only ever accommodated 3 people from here, one was a woman who was sent to me by my old Fab partner so no threat there, the second was part of a scene if you will and the 3rd I work with so I know where to give him a ball beating if needed plus trust him implicitly (so much that he’s my NOK!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never accommodate at home, but do in our holiday cottage.
Home is home, our family place, safe place, secret from the fab lifestyle, for safety reasons & it's our 4 daughters home, where we have our belongings, not a sex shop.
The holiday cottage on the other hand is exactly that, we are more relaxed about people coming over long as we trust them |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
I live in a shared house so I have a room and I work from home so not always convenient  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Grown up daughter living at home for me major lack of privacy
"
I have this but doesn’t stop me. We are both adults and we discuss when we will be in/out etc. the main barrier for me is would I want them to potentially meet her and if no then I would question why I’m meeting them !
Not every meet has to be sex and I think your daughter should understand that. I’ve had people come for dinner, sleep over without sex. |
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"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
We have young children to. I don't feel easy playing in their safe place if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all people who cannot accommodate are cheating. I cannot accommodate until my son, daughter in law and granddaughter find a house. In this economic climate I cannot imagine it being anytime soon sadly. |
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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago
Leeds + Newcastle |
I accommodate when I am in my place Mon to Fri as I don't have any sentimental or familial attachment to it. It's relatively safe, no one can get back in etc
Never meet and go back to my real home cos that's home and it's a line I draw to keep lives separate |
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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago
Leeds + Newcastle |
"I find the whole irl / fab separation thing wierd. I couldn’t trust someone who isn’t authentic or has 2 versions of them self "
I don't think of it as being unauthentic, I consider it self preservation.
It's why I don't meet in my home townz bad experiences require a firm line |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I find the whole irl / fab separation thing wierd. I couldn’t trust someone who isn’t authentic or has 2 versions of them self
I don't think of it as being unauthentic, I consider it self preservation.
It's why I don't meet in my home townz bad experiences require a firm line "
That’s understandable , security is important. I’ve never had a bad experience meeting single females. Couples I’m slightly more cautious and discreet |
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"Grown up daughter living at home for me major lack of privacy
I have this but doesn’t stop me. We are both adults and we discuss when we will be in/out etc. the main barrier for me is would I want them to potentially meet her and if no then I would question why I’m meeting them !
Not every meet has to be sex and I think your daughter should understand that. I’ve had people come for dinner, sleep over without sex. "
It's a bit different when you're a married couple and potentially meeting additional people. Not only do we have our young daughter at home, but our adult son and his girlfriend and we just don't want to have that conversation with them. So we don't accommodate. Simple. |
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Safety - privacy in my own flat you are meeting strangers ultimately from a hook up website.
Other home I live with folks as a carer so not really going to bring a rando back home
I just book hotels nearby for the sake of 50/80 quid it’s easier plus I can film some some adult content earlier in day and recoup the cost later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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young kids mainly
i usually do a social first before inviting people over.. but i have not done that too if ive chatted for a while... vibes?
think a single female is easier tk invite over.. not sure id be ok with a couple i didnt know first.
its not my security its my kids so i hide photos etc
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We have a 19 year old at home but he does work away from home so we would accommodate a couple but after sharing a mobile numbers with a single guy and the constant messages at 4am asking if we’re horny we would have to really think about if we’d like to share out home address. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We wouldn't bring anyone back to our home simple as that. We enjoy separation of swing activities so much that we only swing when on our holidays in GC now.
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I live alone and it's very very rare I invite someone back to my house. I had a bad experience with someone turning up unannounced at my door a few years ago. I was dishing up Sunday dinner to my teenage sons at the time
I prefer to play in clubs where it feels safer to me. |
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My home is currently a renovation project. I am happy enough to rough it but wouldn't expect anyone else to.
I also quite like the cold and haven't had my heating on this year. Not many Inuit fibbers around.
Not that I am meeting anyone atm. Or for the foreseeable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 2 young children but also I am still living with the ex until the divorce is finalised.
I have decided even after then and I'm in my own place I wouldn't accommodate anyone unless I have known them for a good while and have already done plenty of meets as at the end of the day
it will my children's home as well and their safe space. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
"I think one of my biggest fears is having naked women in the house when I’m in teams calls. There’s a time and place for that!"
Is that your way of (not at all) subtlely telling us that once a woman steps over your threshold she refuses to leave?! |
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"I think one of my biggest fears is having naked women in the house when I’m in teams calls. There’s a time and place for that!
Is that your way of (not at all) subtlely telling us that once a woman steps over your threshold she refuses to leave?! "
Everyone has got to start their harem somewhere |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
"I think one of my biggest fears is having naked women in the house when I’m in teams calls. There’s a time and place for that!
Is that your way of (not at all) subtlely telling us that once a woman steps over your threshold she refuses to leave?!
Everyone has got to start their harem somewhere "
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By *rolicUsCouple
over a year ago
Alluringly mysterious |
All of the above, and also being surrounded by my prosaic life and work thoughts. I am more able to leave those behind and enter a more relaxed mindset when elsewhere.
And my  would certainly look even more askance at me than they do now. Judgy fuckers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why so few people can accommodate?
I have young children so choose not to accommodate even when they're not there because I never really know what someone's like and I want to keep that away from them. But if I know someone more long term I may be open to accommodating when the kids are away.
What reasons do you have or have you heard for not being able to accommodate. I'm genuinely interested in the barriers? "
This is my reason, not my children but I have my sister and a couple of cousins who are single mothers who I have a large input with and have their kids over at mine alot so want to make sure that my house is kept as a safe space for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think one of my biggest fears is having naked women in the house when I’m in teams calls. There’s a time and place for that!
Is that your way of (not at all) subtlely telling us that once a woman steps over your threshold she refuses to leave?! "
Where was that telling someone it’s time to go without telling them it’s time to go thread when I needed it |
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